25 Year Old Male Hair System/ Relationship/dates

[Brad94]

Hi guys I really need some advice as this has been playing on my mind for some time, Ive been talking to this girl online for 6 months but havent yet met up with her, She clearly has no idea about my hair and most probably will naturally think its mine. My question to you guys is when is the best time to disclose that I wear a system and tell her that my hair isn't acutally real. Is it best to wait until things get serious or is it better to be upfront, Also do you think its better to use the term I wear hair extensions rather than say upfront I wear a hair piece.

Im looking forward to hearing from people who are also in a simillar situation and I am interested to know what you did thank you.

 

[BaldBearded]

This is a subject that has been covered more than a couple of times, so there are already a number of discussions that you can reference.

In general, I think that the general consensus is that if you plan on getting physical, you need to fully disclose.

I would suggest not make up some story about "extensions". Most women know what extensions are, and you don't have them.

Again, it doesn't have to be in the first five minutes of conversation.

What I do (and it's with men, not women, but don't think it's a huge difference) is just say hey, please go easy on the hair, it's attached. The most common reaction is "wow, really, amazing", and we go on with the fun stuff.

The one time I didn't, it wound up getting torn off.

Good luck,

Steve

 

[Noah]

Everyone who wears a system should be aiming for a system that is undetectable, and a high degree of undetectability is within easy reach if you choose a good supplier, get a good cut-in, and don't go overboard on the density. If you have an undetectable system, and you are not generally open about wearing hair, it seems to me the only valid reason for disclosing your system is that you are dealing with a person with whom you feel you may have a long-term relationship, and you don't want that relationship tainted by the person feeling misled or tricked. So for relationships that are transient or short-term I don't see that there is any compulsion to disclose your system. But if the relationship moves to the point where you feel it might be something long-term and valuable, then it is time to think of sharing.

At that point you want the person to understand the message that you are giving them - that your hair is not entirely growing naturally out of your head. Having said that, I think it is important to convey that message in a palatable form. There are ways of saying it which are metrosexual and of the moment, and there are ways which make you sound like an old bald guy wearing a rug. It is important to strike the right note, and it requires some thought. I wouldn't write off the analogy with hair extensions so readily. They are a type of prosthetic hair that women are familiar with and have positive feelings about. The point of the analogy is not to deceive, but to convey the message with the right associations and connotations. I'm guessing that talking to gay men about this subject (as BaldBearded is) and talking to women about it require different approaches.

 

[tomJ]

I think I would meet her first to see of jave chemistry. Dont tell her before hand then that may prevent her from getting the initial spark. If she has a cool personality then tell her soon thereafter but if she doesnt the f her and move on without telling her.

 

[Laconian]

My advice would be to disclose only after she falls deeply in love with you and you want to marry her. Women are not testosterone-driven gay men who can't get pregnant and there's a HUGE chance she will dry up completely and lose all sexual attraction for you if you tell her too early. Women are subconsciously looking for the best genes to occupy their valuable real estate for 9 months and be passed on to their offspring. Hair is definitely a part of that genetic package.

Plus, whether we like to admit it or not, wearing a hair piece is vain and feminine. And once the cat is out of the box, whenever she looks at you and the hair on your head, she'll always see a vain man wearing a rug.

When it comes to the bedroom, just tell women that you don't like it when someone touches your head. They'll adjust. They'll even find you slightly strict, mysterious and different because of it. Speaking from experience.

 

[cottonReville]

Every situation is different & I think the answer to this has a good deal to do w/ your personality.

I'm a very candid person & advance relationships w women quickly, which is to say I don't have much investment in any girl I'm getting to know. If I'd been building something for 6 months, there would be a different level of pressure on me - but I can't identify with that. I also readily come off as a high-maintenance man, so something like enhancing my hair wouldn't be out of synch w my character.

I've only been wearing a system for 3 weeks, during which time I've been w no new women, but in the past girls would ask me early on why I always wore a bandana, hat, etc., and I'd very frankly disclose because my hairline is f*****g joke.

I can't imagine women being bothered by a guy they like wearing a piece. After all, they're all acutely aware of the fact that they wear makeup to make themselves more palatable.

 

[cottonReville]

My advice would be to disclose only after she falls deeply in love with you and you want to marry her. Women are not testosterone-driven gay men who can't get pregnant and there's a HUGE chance she will dry up completely and lose all sexual attraction for you if you tell her too early. Women are subconsciously looking for the best genes to occupy their valuable real estate for 9 months and be passed on to their offspring. Hair is definitely a part of that genetic package.

Plus, whether we like to admit it or not, wearing a hair piece is vain and feminine. And once the cat is out of the box, whenever she looks at you and the hair on your head, she'll always see a vain man wearing a rug.

When it comes to the bedroom, just tell women that you don't like it when someone touches your head. They'll adjust. They'll even find you slightly strict, mysterious and different because of it. Speaking from experience.

A lot of women like vain men. Speaking from experience.

 

[Noah]

@ Laconian + Cottonreville - I find some truth in both your points of view. I don't see the need to disclose too early in a date situation. I want to be seen by women I meet as a guy with a great head of natural hair. No advantage in complicating that initial image by letting them know that part of it is artificial. But once the intimacy is firmly established, my experience has been that the (few) women I have told have reacted positively. They have actually appreciated the fact that I have taken the trouble to improve my looks for their benefit, so that (as they see it) they have a better looking guy to walk down the street with. It's counterintuitive, I know, but that has been my experience.

I don't agree with the characterisation of wearing a system as feminine though. Vain probably yes, but the hairpieces we wear are designed as a solution to a distinctively male problem - male pattern baldness.

 

[Laconian]

@ Laconian + Cottonreville - I find some truth in both your points of view. I don't see the need to disclose too early in a date situation. I want to be seen by women I meet as a guy with a great head of natural hair. No advantage in complicating that initial image by letting them know that part of it is artificial. But once the intimacy is firmly established, my experience has been that the (few) women I have told have reacted positively. They have actually appreciated the fact that I have taken the trouble to improve my looks for their benefit, so that (as they see it) they have a better looking guy to walk down the street with. It's counterintuitive, I know, but that has been my experience.

I don't agree with the characterisation of wearing a system as feminine though. Vain probably yes, but the hairpieces we wear are designed as a solution to a distinctively male problem - male pattern baldness.

Feminine in the sense that the hair piece gives us no practical or functional advantage in our primary, biological, masculine roles of protector, hunter and warrior. You can argue that when you have hair and look better you'll close more deals, sell more, get more promotions, etc. and therefore be a better provider for your family and that is, of course, true but my argument doesn't pertain to modern civilization and acquisition of fiat currency but raw, atavistic urges and purposes.

You can also argue that a hair piece will help us "lure" and procreate with many more women. If Ted Bundy had been bald, he would never have lured and raped so many attractive young women. And that's probably true. But the act of "luring" itself is strictly feminine. Traditionally, for thousands of years, men didn't "lure" or have to "lure". They conquered and took things (and women) by violence or concord between clans/families.

Hair pieces are strictly for looking "pretty" and women are meant to look pretty. Men are supposed to be strong, brave and know how to fight.

Men who participate in the most aggressive, full-contact sports (rugby, hockey, mma, BJJ, boxing) don't wear pieces because they'd be nothing but a hindrance. Meanwhile soccer players are justly called "prima donnas" and Andre Agassi was so obsessed with his "pretty boy" image at the top of his career that he almost lost a grand slam because his hair piece was falling off (you can read about that in his autobiography). Image is very important for landing good sponsorship deals in feminine sports where the skillset isn't transferable to the real world. But in violent, masculine sports your image is created by the fact that your skillset (often combined with a big, powerful physique) makes you one of the baddest and most feared men on the planet. Being good-looking is just an additional bonus in that case.

I take my piece off when I spar at the gym (a few times a week). Every time I do it I say "Here comes Gargamel!" or "Gargamel mode activated" (my temple hair is long and I have the typical "pedophile look" at this point without the piece). I tried sparring with it but I couldn't focus at all as I was constantly worried about the piece getting damaged and/or falling off. I could actually imagine many men in pieces avoiding conflict/altercations/confrontations in the real world or avoiding participation in combat sports in general just because of their piece. Again, a feminine mindset. "I'm not going to fight/stand up for myself because I don't want to break a nail."

That's just how I see it. I definitely feel that my hair system makes me more feminine than masculine (in the eyes of those who know about it -- and many know both men and women). By comparison, I also take steroids, but in addition to the cosmetic/aesthetic benefits, steroids also increase my strength, performance, vitality and libido. Furthermore even the cosmetic benefits are masculine as I'm bigger and more intimidating and therefore garner more primal respect from those around me.

 

[Fanjeera]

My advice would be to disclose only after she falls deeply in love with you and you want to marry her. Women are not testosterone-driven gay men who can't get pregnant and there's a HUGE chance she will dry up completely and lose all sexual attraction for you if you tell her too early. Women are subconsciously looking for the best genes to occupy their valuable real estate for 9 months and be passed on to their offspring. Hair is definitely a part of that genetic package.

Plus, whether we like to admit it or not, wearing a hair piece is vain and feminine. And once the cat is out of the box, whenever she looks at you and the hair on your head, she'll always see a vain man wearing a rug.

When it comes to the bedroom, just tell women that you don't like it when someone touches your head. They'll adjust. They'll even find you slightly strict, mysterious and different because of it. Speaking from experience.

Isn't it a myth that women have less libido? Women have higher standards for looks, though, yes.

To get rid of the rug stereotype, maybe it's still better to call it something more beautiful? Extensions, attached hair?

 

[cottonReville]

Feminine in the sense that the hair piece gives us no practical or functional advantage in our primary, biological, masculine roles of protector, hunter and warrior. You can argue that when you have hair and look better you'll close more deals, sell more, get more promotions, etc. and therefore be a better provider for your family and that is, of course, true but my argument doesn't pertain to modern civilization and acquisition of fiat currency but raw, atavistic urges and purposes.

You can also argue that a hair piece will help us "lure" and procreate with many more women. If Ted Bundy had been bald, he would never have lured and raped so many attractive young women. And that's probably true. But the act of "luring" itself is strictly feminine. Traditionally, for thousands of years, men didn't "lure" or have to "lure". They conquered and took things (and women) by violence or concord between clans/families.

Hair pieces are strictly for looking "pretty" and women are meant to look pretty. Men are supposed to be strong, brave and know how to fight.

Men who participate in the most aggressive, full-contact sports (rugby, hockey, mma, BJJ, boxing) don't wear pieces because they'd be nothing but a hindrance. Meanwhile soccer players are justly called "prima donnas" and Andre Agassi was so obsessed with his "pretty boy" image at the top of his career that he almost lost a grand slam because his hair piece was falling off (you can read about that in his autobiography). Image is very important for landing good sponsorship deals in feminine sports where the skillset isn't transferable to the real world. But in violent, masculine sports your image is created by the fact that your skillset (often combined with a big, powerful physique) makes you one of the baddest and most feared men on the planet. Being good-looking is just an additional bonus in that case.

I take my piece off when I spar at the gym (a few times a week). Every time I do it I say "Here comes Gargamel!" or "Gargamel mode activated" (my temple hair is long and I have the typical "pedophile look" at this point without the piece). I tried sparring with it but I couldn't focus at all as I was constantly worried about the piece getting damaged and/or falling off. I could actually imagine many men in pieces avoiding conflict/altercations/confrontations in the real world or avoiding participation in combat sports in general just because of their piece. Again, a feminine mindset. "I'm not going to fight/stand up for myself because I don't want to break a nail."

That's just how I see it. I definitely feel that my hair system makes me more feminine than masculine (in the eyes of those who know about it -- and many know both men and women). By comparison, I also take steroids, but in addition to the cosmetic/aesthetic benefits, steroids also increase my strength, performance, vitality and libido. Furthermore even the cosmetic benefits are masculine as I'm bigger and more intimidating and therefore garner more primal respect from those around me.

Dude, you are so lost. Stop reading so much PUA sh*t online. You have the game all wrong.

 

[Laconian]

Dude, you are so lost. Stop reading so much PUA sh*t online. You have the game all wrong.

Relax, boyo. What I wrote has absolutely nothing to do with "PUA". And either way I don't need "game" whatever that may mean. I'm 6'3, well built and good looking once again thanks to my hair system. Women are a cakewalk.

So let's stay on topic. I've given my advice to OP and next in answer to @Noah stated quite clearly why I think a hair system is feminine. That's it. If you have a different opinion on the femininity of hair systems then take the time and effort to write out a coherent reply instead of throwing around low-effort generalizations and insults.

 

[Xyz23]

Queston is who decides whats masculine or feminine?

 

[Laconian]

Queston is who decides whats masculine or feminine?

Decide for yourself.

 

[Noah]

Feminine in the sense that the hair piece gives us no practical or functional advantage in our primary, biological, masculine roles of protector, hunter and warrior. You can argue that when you have hair and look better you'll close more deals, sell more, get more promotions, etc. and therefore be a better provider for your family and that is, of course, true but my argument doesn't pertain to modern civilization and acquisition of fiat currency but raw, atavistic urges and purposes.

You can also argue that a hair piece will help us "lure" and procreate with many more women. If Ted Bundy had been bald, he would never have lured and raped so many attractive young women. And that's probably true. But the act of "luring" itself is strictly feminine. Traditionally, for thousands of years, men didn't "lure" or have to "lure". They conquered and took things (and women) by violence or concord between clans/families.

Hair pieces are strictly for looking "pretty" and women are meant to look pretty. Men are supposed to be strong, brave and know how to fight.

Men who participate in the most aggressive, full-contact sports (rugby, hockey, mma, BJJ, boxing) don't wear pieces because they'd be nothing but a hindrance. Meanwhile soccer players are justly called "prima donnas" and Andre Agassi was so obsessed with his "pretty boy" image at the top of his career that he almost lost a grand slam because his hair piece was falling off (you can read about that in his autobiography). Image is very important for landing good sponsorship deals in feminine sports where the skillset isn't transferable to the real world. But in violent, masculine sports your image is created by the fact that your skillset (often combined with a big, powerful physique) makes you one of the baddest and most feared men on the planet. Being good-looking is just an additional bonus in that case.

I take my piece off when I spar at the gym (a few times a week). Every time I do it I say "Here comes Gargamel!" or "Gargamel mode activated" (my temple hair is long and I have the typical "pedophile look" at this point without the piece). I tried sparring with it but I couldn't focus at all as I was constantly worried about the piece getting damaged and/or falling off. I could actually imagine many men in pieces avoiding conflict/altercations/confrontations in the real world or avoiding participation in combat sports in general just because of their piece. Again, a feminine mindset. "I'm not going to fight/stand up for myself because I don't want to break a nail."

That's just how I see it. I definitely feel that my hair system makes me more feminine than masculine (in the eyes of those who know about it -- and many know both men and women). By comparison, I also take steroids, but in addition to the cosmetic/aesthetic benefits, steroids also increase my strength, performance, vitality and libido. Furthermore even the cosmetic benefits are masculine as I'm bigger and more intimidating and therefore garner more primal respect from those around me.

Thanks for the very thoughtful and articulate take on this interesting subject, Laconian. I'm tempted to say almost too thoughtful and articulate for a guy who is espousing the code of the Old West where men were men LOL.

I think we would have to accept that we are wearing hairpieces to look more handsome ("prettier", if you prefer). But I reckon the days when the majority of men didn't care about looking handsome have gone, if indeed they ever existed. It is true that many men pay lip service to the days when men didn't care about their appearance, in the sense that they won't admit to caring, and their goal is to look like a handsome man who doesn't care about being handsome and just casually lucked out in the genetic lottery. But that stance is as fake as my hair. Beneath the surface, once the bathroom door is shut, they are buffing and preening and trying to maximise their attractiveness as much as the women. Because they are constrained by the need to act out the fiction of not caring, there is a limit to what they can do openly, but it's all bubbling under. Admit it: you are not taking steroids and working out 5 times a week to increase your strength and be a more intimidating target for adversaries - you are doing it to look more handsome. The whole modern gym culture is not primarily about fitness; it is about a particular ideal of handsomeness.

I have a bit of inside info about the celebrity sporting world through a friend of mine from university. It's true that wrestlers and rugby players don't wear hairpieces, but that is because they would be ripped off, not because they are just too masculine to care. They are still getting cosmetic surgery and doing what they can get away with to stay young and attractive. There is one prominent sportsman in a roughhouse sport (no names, so don't ask) who never appears in public without his specially customised padded underwear, designed to increase the curvaceousness of his butt. Practically the whole international cricket establishment are wearing hairpieces.

Are we feminised by wishing to appear more handsome and acting on it? I don't feel feminised. My main motivation in trying to achieve a more attractive appearance is to get more sex from women, so nothing feminine about that. The idea that it is feminine to make yourself more attractive stems from the proposition that "real" men don't care, but as I have said, I don't think that is true in the modern world. I have my doubts as to whether it was ever true - it may be just another fiction, like the idea that women shouldn't enjoy sex. And if you look back in history you can see that the period when men didn't (or weren't supposed to) care about being handsome is a blip - there is plenty of evidence of male vanity since time immemorial. We are simply reverting to the norm at this point. Even at the height of the blip, the icons of raw masculinity were playing a part. John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart and Burt Reynolds all wore toupees. I am not always frank and straightforward with how I present myself, and I am as guilty as the next man of faking a devil-may-care attitude about my appearance, but do I try my best not to kid myself about the truth. I am wearing a hairpiece to look better. I am at ease with my vanity, and I have reason to believe I am not alone in the male community.

 

[BaldBearded]

I am always fascinated by these conversations about "masculinity".

I am a gay man living a super-macho society (Israel), where men are judged by which elite combat unit they served in during army service and the ability to sire an heir.

If you are gay, if you at least have kids, it's OK.

This hyper (and sometimes TOXIC) masculinity eschews almost anything that can be perceived as feminine. And it tends to get worse in men from Arab/Middle Eastern backgrounds (but not exclusively). And, BTW the GYM culture here, is HUGE in both the gay and hetero community, almost to a point of being absurd (IMO).

Back in the states, my gay male friends all have female nicknames. And between us, we would always joke with each other using feminine pronouns. BTW, not a "feminine-looking" one in the bunch.

Here, some of my gay male friends my own age also have female nicknames, but most of the younger ones' don't. In private, we always joke with each other using feminine pronouns.

So, looking outward, it perplexes me why hetero males in Western society are FIXATED on masculinity?

Is it a sign of weakness? I have no idea... I never

Think about the next time you throw pejoratives at your buddy after a game of hoops, or whatever. Most of them will have some relation to a gay sex act... I won't mention them, but if you are American, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

 

[newbiemicroneedler]

Thanks for the very thoughtful and articulate take on this interesting subject, Laconian. I'm tempted to say almost too thoughtful and articulate for a guy who is espousing the code of the Old West where men were men LOL.

I think we would have to accept that we are wearing hairpieces to look more handsome ("prettier", if you prefer). But I reckon the days when the majority of men didn't care about looking handsome have gone, if indeed they ever existed. It is true that many men pay lip service to the days when men didn't care about their appearance, in the sense that they won't admit to caring, and their goal is to look like a handsome man who doesn't care about being handsome and just casually lucked out in the genetic lottery. But that stance is as fake as my hair. Beneath the surface, once the bathroom door is shut, they are buffing and preening and trying to maximise their attractiveness as much as the women. Because they are constrained by the need to act out the fiction of not caring, there is a limit to what they can do openly, but it's all bubbling under. Admit it: you are not taking steroids and working out 5 times a week to increase your strength and be a more intimidating target for adversaries - you are doing it to look more handsome. The whole modern gym culture is not primarily about fitness; it is about a particular ideal of handsomeness.

I have a bit of inside info about the celebrity sporting world through a friend of mine from university. It's true that wrestlers and rugby players don't wear hairpieces, but that is because they would be ripped off, not because they are just too masculine to care. They are still getting cosmetic surgery and doing what they can get away with to stay young and attractive. There is one prominent sportsman in a roughhouse sport (no names, so don't ask) who never appears in public without his specially customised padded underwear, designed to increase the curvaceousness of his butt. Practically the whole international cricket establishment are wearing hairpieces.

Are we feminised by wishing to appear more handsome and acting on it? I don't feel feminised. My main motivation in trying to achieve a more attractive appearance is to get more sex from women, so nothing feminine about that. The idea that it is feminine to make yourself more attractive stems from the proposition that "real" men don't care, but as I have said, I don't think that is true in the modern world. I have my doubts as to whether it was ever true - it may be just another fiction, like the idea that women shouldn't enjoy sex. And if you look back in history you can see that the period when men didn't (or weren't supposed to) care about being handsome is a blip - there is plenty of evidence of male vanity since time immemorial. We are simply reverting to the norm at this point. Even at the height of the blip, the icons of raw masculinity were playing a part. John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart and Burt Reynolds all wore toupees. I am not always frank and straightforward with how I present myself, and I am as guilty as the next man of faking a devil-may-care attitude about my appearance, but do I try my best not to kid myself about the truth. I am wearing a hairpiece to look better. I am at ease with my vanity, and I have reason to believe I am not alone in the male community.

Man some of the replies in here are so sophisticated and well written haha! It's the first time I have ventured into the toupee section of this forum, I can safely say the type of guys that hang out here are different from the other parts

 

[BaldBearded]

Man some of the replies in here are so sophisticated and well written haha! It's the first time I have ventured into the toupee section of this forum, I can safely say the type of guys that hang out here are different from the other parts

We try!

 

[newbiemicroneedler]

We try!

By the way, need to complement you on your epic beard! Forgot in which thread I saw it, but when you have such an imposing beard who would still care about the hair on ur head haha!?
(PS: We are neighbors. I am on your northern border haha. You don't look Israeli, you look more like Santa claus

 

[BaldBearded]

By the way, need to complement you on your epic beard! Forgot in which thread I saw it, but when you have such an imposing beard who would still care about the hair on ur head haha!?
(PS: We are neighbors. I am on your northern border haha. You don't look Israeli, you look more like Santa claus

Haha, funny, many folks have said that. I still love doing the hair.

I don't look Israeli, possibly since I was born in the Bronx, USA.

So you are in Lebanon? Syria? Lebanon has an amazing Bearded Villains group.

Hopefully, one day, we can cross these borders and visit. I would LOVE to see BOTH countries, and dying to see Beirut!

S.