30, Bald and Happy!!!

[Baldigus]

First time posting here, I thought I'd share my story. I frequented sites like this many years ago in the hope of finding a solution to hair loss. I never found it, and you know what... I'm glad.

Right now, I'm 30 and pretty much totally bald on top (and all shaved off using a beard trimmer)... and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Of course, it hasn't always been that way but it's been a journey that I really hope can help you guys in some way.

I started losing my hair early, at about 16 or 17. It took a little while for me to start taking it seriously, but with the help of a few callous and seemingly throwaway comments from my peers I became incredibly fixated on my hair loss. I was receding and thinning and by the age of 18/19 I was depressed and I'm pretty sure I was suffering from some kind of body dysmorphia.

I was obsessed with checking my hair in the mirror whenever I could and I'd count the hairs falling out in the sink, etc. I'd always wear a hat and on the rare occasion I'd dare to venture out without a hat I felt cripplingly self conscious, thinking that everyone was looking at me and judging me. Relationships with women were non existent as I felt that once they "discovered" I was going bald I'd be cast aside and ridiculed. The list goes on. My later teenage years were miserable.

I tried various snake oils from the internet to combat my hair loss to no avail, I tried rogaine which did nothing but irritate my skin and cost me money. Surgery wasn't an option, and wigs and weaves didn't seem like a viable solution for me.

When I was twenty, my friends started talking about travelling, and I went along with the conversation knowing full well I wouldn't dare go to a hot asian country where I'd have to wear a hat for three months and not be able to indulge my obsessive behaviours of checking my hair in a mirror every half an hour. I just wouldn't be in control.

However, as time went on, I got roped further and further into going on this trip until eventually I'd ended up buying a plane ticket. Dang. What was I going to do?

Then, a solution presented itself: When I got to Thailand, I'd simply shave it off "spontaneously". I was terrified. But, when I got to thailand at the tender age of 21, I did just that. And it was the best decision I ever made. I took control of the problem. If my hair was so desperate to leave me, then I no longer wanted it in my company.

The best thing about doing this was that the three month trip around Thailand gave me a chance to get used to my new identity. I met new people who had no idea what I looked like with hair. I became confident. I met women (and some women LOVE the shaved head look). I felt like me again. It was the time of my life. I owned my new identity, my shaved head became part of me and a distinguishing part of my physical appearance.

Coming home was a little odd as people I knew were shocked with my new look. It took some time to get used to that, but before long it wasn't an issue. I was just me, and what I realised is this: People don't give a stuff what's going on on top of your head. Sure, some people would still make the occasional callous comment, but I just laughed it off. I wasn't bothered anymore.

I'm now 30 and I genuinely feel I'd look odd with hair, and I look back at that depressed teenager and feel so sorry for him. I wish I could go back and tell him that everything will be ok and to stop stressing about it.

So, my advice would be this: Shave your hair off. It WILL be hard, there's no denying that. But by subscribing to tonics and treatments you're simply prolonging the misery and delaying the recovery. Discover that there's more to you than a head of hair and discover your confidence. And I'll reiterate a point: People don't care about your hair. Really, they don't. People are far to concerned with their own insecurities to really give two hoots. And if there are people in your life who will try and make you feel bad for not having any hair, you should ask yourself why they're in your life.

I hope this helps you guys. Start enjoying your lives.

 

[bibz]

Cool for ya happy baldy...

 

[I.D WALKER]

I'm also glad you found permanent resolve. In practical terms your attitude has certainly some merit. Also it's probably realistic to generalize that for many of us a time will come when our condition will force us to begrudgingly submit to this common recourse. As a bald man, I've tried every alternative , including the "shaved to the bone" look, with the hope of nullifying the aggravation M.P..B. has caused me. Yes the shaved look was probably the simplest approach for me had it not been for the extra disadvantage of simultaneously worrying about poorly covering( with cosmetic foundation) an unsightly donor scar from a failed hair transplant. The wig or hair system was a transitive godsend of sorts and worked rather decently to hide or deceive those around me, but high maintenance and costly to properly maintain. So yes I've tried them all, and in principle again. I fundamentally concur with your sentiments about the necessity to "move on." One might argue that the impact of hair loss leads to emotional/mental arrested development. With deep regret, I can attest to the fact that my tireless efforts to adapt to hair loss has been a monumental disaster. Yes the body may be willing, but the mind is just too damn weak. For the sake of misspent youth and the wellbeing of future sufferers I wish we could all come to experience the ever sweet closure that you have. Thanx and all the best.

 

[Adam R]

This is funny because it is almost word for word what I went through. I posted my story in a post called "Adam R's hair loss story- happy ending". I COMPLETELY understand what guys suffering with hair loss are going through- I've been there myself- Rogaine, Toppik, researching hair transplants and all the rest of it. In the end I just got so sick of it all that I shaved it off and I honestly feel like I've woken up from a bad dream. Literally YEARS of stress, worrying, planning for specific situations and avoiding others are over for me and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm not going to lie, I looked better with hair and I think most people do but for God's sake, is it really worth messing around with your bodies hormonal profile and risking serious sexual side effects or undergoing the surgeons knife to delay the inevitable? Not for me.

I completely agree that NO ONE except other people suffering with hair loss (specifically those that are self conscious about it- there are many who couldn't care less and immediately shave it off at the first sign of thinning) give two hoots about other people's hairlines or bald spots. Yes, there are women who are not attracted to balding guys or guys with shaved heads and guess what? You are not going to hook up with those women. On the flip side, there are just as many who either like it, or who couldn't give a crap either way. Your sex life is NOT over just because you are balding or shaving your head fellas!

It honestly pains me to read of the anguish some of these great young guys are going through as they suffer through their own private hell with hair loss. Some of these guys sound as if they are borderline suicidal! If only they realized that the 'problem' is just not that big a deal and can be ended with a $10 trip to the barbers.

Great post mate. Thanks for sharing.

 

[I.D WALKER]

I am honestly encouraged whenever I hear stories like yours. In the middle of the military zone they are too few and far and in between. The ability to "move" on or to simply "let go" may well be the most challenging positions hair loss has imposed upon those of us suffering. This condition or genetic circumstance as it were , and unfortunately only one of many of bitter sweet life's surprising elements. Change is forever constant and naturally for us mere mortals the prospect of watching our bodies ultimately altered or age at a faster rate than they do anyway tends to throw our survival instincts/coping skills into a frightful mental/emotional tailspin that often crashes us into a foreign and hostile state or maybe better known as post trauma. A place where personal calamity holds the corner on the market of vanity. We can be sentimental beings that wrestle with change as if long goodbyes weren't hard enough. I'm encouraged by the one's who have been able to close the door triumphantly on the bully better known as hair loss. It is a gift.

This is funny because it is almost word for word what I went through. I posted my story in a post called "Adam R's hair loss story- happy ending". I COMPLETELY understand what guys suffering with hair loss are going through- I've been there myself- Rogaine, Toppik, researching hair transplants and all the rest of it. In the end I just got so sick of it all that I shaved it off and I honestly feel like I've woken up from a bad dream. Literally YEARS of stress, worrying, planning for specific situations and avoiding others are over for me and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm not going to lie, I looked better with hair and I think most people do but for God's sake, is it really worth messing around with your bodies hormonal profile and risking serious sexual side effects or undergoing the surgeons knife to delay the inevitable? Not for me.

I completely agree that NO ONE except other people suffering with hair loss (specifically those that are self conscious about it- there are many who couldn't care less and immediately shave it off at the first sign of thinning) give two hoots about other people's hairlines or bald spots. Yes, there are women who are not attracted to balding guys or guys with shaved heads and guess what? You are not going to hook up with those women. On the flip side, there are just as many who either like it, or who couldn't give a crap either way. Your sex life is NOT over just because you are balding or shaving your head fellas!

It honestly pains me to read of the anguish some of these great young guys are going through as they suffer through their own private hell with hair loss. Some of these guys sound as if they are borderline suicidal! If only they realized that the 'problem' is just not that big a deal and can be ended with a $10 trip to the barbers.

Great post mate. Thanks for sharing.

 

[SayifDoit]

Some people really care about their hair more than others, and lend there appearance mostly to their hair and can not simply give that up.
I'm not one of those people but I simply can't stand the thought of giving up on my hair, I'm not going to lay down and be forced into baldness just because of a hormone imbalance/sensitive receptors....
I like styling my hair, I like being me, so I'm not going to fall into the herd of baldies.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Your determination is commendable. It's a fight for the long haul that you and other like minded individuals are up against. Grow stronger, don't let it kill you and with wise tactics and far sighted strategy I hope to hear word from you down the line that you been last seen splendidly maneuvering over the battlefield with your full mane intact. Cheers!

 

[alonewithbacon]

I'v shaved my head since 19 and it sucks. lol. So It's hard to recommend younger guys to shave there heads and move on with life when your constantly seeing people in your age group with full heads of hair pulling all the ladys in. While you sit in the corner of a bar with your drink glued to your face. So I would always recommend someone young to try the available treatments before just leaping into the whole shaved head scene. Because thats what i did and i i feel like it was a huge mistake. The time i'v could have been saving some follicles and preserving my hair. Instead I just kept shaving my head and wearing a hat everywhere.