MyHairloss Story
I first started noticing hair loss in my mid early- mid twenties and it began at the crown. At first I could just sort of feel it when I ran my fingers through my hair- the area just felt 'thinner' but visually, it was pretty much undetectable. I sort of hoped that it was just my imagination, that it would never really progress much beyond that but my father always had a fairly prominent bald spot at the crown so I kind of knew in the back of my mind where I was likely headed. Who knows, maybe things would be different for me.
Some time later, people began commenting “Hey, you are going bald at the back!” It was more or less just a thinning strip at that stage but the beginnings of male pattern baldness were there. It was always a source of amusement forpeople to point this out because without bragging, I had really nice, thick hair that I took a lot of pride in. It was sort of a Beverly Hills 90210 style- lots of blow drying, hair spray etc. I was single at the time and always out in the bars and night clubs trying to get girls so I felt that my hair was a very important part of my look. It started to affect my confidence but I tried my best to put it to the back of my mind and forget about it.
I looked into treatment options that were available at the time and eventually settled on Rogaine. I used it for a short time but I actually hated using it. Rubbing a greasy, oily lotion into my hair every day was not something I took to so that didn't last long. I eventually gave up on the Rogaine and decided to let nature take its course. Thankfully, the balding progressed very slowly and eventually I settled down with a girl, bought a house and decided that I really didn't care that much about my bald spot and pretty much stopped stressing about it. I hated it when people would comment on it or even worse, when someone would walk up behind my and start rubbing it which happened on a couple of occasions but what could I really do but try and laugh about it?
I could never figure out why with me, people always felt they had to comment on it or inform me that I was thinning at the back. I never saw these same people doing that to other guys that were already far more advanced with their balding than I was. It was like a lot of people seemed smugly satisfied thatI was going bald. Even my father used to make a point of making jokes about my bald spot in front of other people which I found really humiliating. My father is one of these super sensitive types who cannot take any criticism at all and would be shattered if people made fun of his physical appearance yet bizarrely, he though nothing of making me the brunt of his jokes and seemed to enjoy it even more when there was an audience. I could never figure out why he did that. I guess that because people thought I was pretty thick skinned and confident that I didn't mind and found it funny but deep down it really, really crushed me.
In my mid thirties when my partner decided she didn't love me anymore and elected to leave me, I found myself single and noticeably balding. Now I would be back out dating and trying to get women but my balding had progressed quite a bit. I still looked good from the front but my bald spot had expanded, making me more self conscious than ever. I loathed getting hair cuts, feeling that everyone was staring at my ugly bald spot. Around this time, whilst browsing the Internet, I discovered Toppik and it literally gave me back my confidence. It worked really well and I felt like a new man and continued using it for many years after that. It became part of my daily routine.
I decided that I would use Toppik until it stopped working and then, I would go for a hair transplant in Thailand. I used to research all the latest techniques and all the doctors on the hair loss forums. I dreamed of traveling to Canada to have a transplant with Dr Wong or Dr Hasson but feared I would never be able to afford it. I also hated the idea of having my head cut up and dreaded a botched job but I figured, this was my only chance of solving this problem. Some of the before and after photos I saw of people that had had transplants made me even more depressed. Sure there were some great ones but there were some shockers too. I also point blank refused to get on a lifetime regime of Propecia given some of the horror stories I had read about that.
I continued on using my Toppik until very recently but it started to look stupid. I was sprinkling Toppik onto skin. Now even the front began to thin a bit. My hair got increasingly difficult to style. I realized for years that my hair had been really holding me back. I didn't do activities that I used to love doing because of my hair. I hadn't swam in years, I hated staying at other peoples houses because of my fear of leaving Toppik all over their pillows and waking up in the morning looking like the back of my head had some nasty disease with clumps of black Toppik and hair spray all over my scalp. I couldn't have a nap in the day because after I woke up, getting my hair to look normal was a good half hour process. Playing pool and standing under bright lamps made me cringe in fear. I loathed looking down and seeing black under my finger nails from where I must have scratched my scalp during my sleep. Standing in any kind of queue had me worried sick that the person standing behind me was staring at the back of my head. I had had just about enough.
About a week ago, I finally decided I'd had it with my hair. It had become more trouble than it was worth. I was not going to spend the rest of my life being a prisoner to hair, sitting on the sidelines of life and being a spectator. I had booked a cruise with my current girlfriend and my Mum and stepfather in June and I imagined myself, spending all morning in my cabin, blow drying my hair, messing around with Toppik, never going in the water, never swimming or diving when we went to the islands- what kind of holiday would it be, being a full time, paranoid captive to hair? I made up my mind that I was going to enjoy my holiday and spend as much time being active and in the water as I could.
So, on this particular morning, I woke up and made my decision- the hair was coming off. I washed my hair, blow dried it and put on a hat and drove to a barber shop. I didn't go to my usual one because I didn't want to get into a discussion with my barber about the pros and cons of shaving my head- it wasn't open for discussion. I know it sounds pathetic, but as I drove to the barber shop I actually had butterflies in my stomach. Would I look stupid? Would it make my ears look huge? Did I have a weird shaped head? Did I have any ugly moles underneath my hair? Would my girlfriend recoil in horror when she saw me and stop being attracted to me? No matter, it was time. I downed two beers quickly and walked into the barber shop with a partial beer buzz and sat down in the chair.
The barber asked me what I wanted and I told him to give me a #1 buzz cut. He said “#1 on the sides?” I told him no, all over. He said to me, “You know that is very short, are you sure?” I said “Just do it.” The guy told me he would start just on the sides so I could change my mind before he attacked the top and I said OK. He started shaving and when he got to the top he said “Do you still want it?” “Yes” I said, “Take it all off.” He continued shaving and even though I was nervous I immediately started to feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The hair nightmare was over. About half way through, I said to him “Do you have a #1/2 guard?” He said he did and I told him to give me a ½ guard cut all over.
The barber finished the cut and I looked in the mirror and smiled. There was a new guy smiling back at me- a guy not paralyzed by paranoia about his hair. The barber asked me what I thought and I said “Great- thank you.” The barber looked at me and smiled and just said “Freedom huh?” I smiled back at him and said- “Yes.” I will never forget that moment- it might seem silly and minor to some but to me, I had taken a huge step and dealt with an issue that had plagued me and affected my self confidence for years. I paid my money and walked out of the store- finally free. I had taken a baseball cap with me to the barber so I could hide my head when I walked out but I didn't even put it on. I walked into the sun with a big smile on my face. I honestly felt like a guy that had been released from prison.
That night my girl came home from work and laughed at me. She ran her hands over it and smiled. She said to me “Honey- you are still gwapo!” (She is Filipino and gwapo means handsome in Tagalog).
The next day, I looked in the mirror and decided I didn't like the grey stubble that covered my head so I took out my Braun electric shaver and took it right down to skin and went and sat in the sun on my balcony to let my scalp get some color. I felt like a new man and it was one of the happiest days I've had in years. I felt like a guy that had been released from prison and was free once again.
People have laughed and commented when they have first seen me with my new look. Some said it looked weird and would take time to get used to, others told me they loved it and some said it made me look tough. One of my friends said I actually look younger now! (I am 39 FYI). Many people, to my surprise barely noticed and some simply remarked “Oh, you've had a haircut.” You know what? I don't care what anyone thinks, I am me, I still think I look good and I have more confidence now than I ever had with a scalp full of Toppik and hair spray.
I'm not going to sit here and lie to you guys- if I had the choice between this and a full head of hair and could have a cool hairstyle like David Beckham or something, I would take the hair every time. It is true if you ask me, that no one looks better bald than they do with a full head of hair but compared to what I had, and have been doing the last few years, I would NEVER, EVER go back. I'm done reading about hair transplants, doctors, Propecia, Rogaine, scalp tattoos, Norwood patterns and all the rest of it. My brushes, Toppik, shampoo, hand held mirror (for studying the back of my head) are all going in the trash. It's over for me and I have never felt better about a decision in my life.
You are probably asking why I wrote this post. Who cares about some nobody in Australia and his battle with hair loss right? I wrote it just to point out to some of you that there is a way of dealing with hair loss that doesn't involve drugs or surgery. I am not trying to make light of anyones hair issues here, I know how stressful it is and I can empathize with every single one of you who are battling with this- especially the younger guys. I am lucky that I had pretty good hair through my twenties and most of my thirties when you need your self confidence the most.
I have never felt better and I am done stressing about hair. Life is not all about hair guys, it really isn't. Shave it off, work on your physique, hold your head up high and look people in the eye. You are no less of a man than guys with great hair and I'll tell you something that some may not realize, the only people that spend their time stressing, thinking and reading about hair loss are people that are going through it- no one else cares. Forget combovers, concealers, expensive surgeries and all the rest of it if you can. If you feel that that is what you have to do, then do it but at least consider the alternative- it worked for me and surely I am not the only one.
Good luck and God bless guys.
Adam.
I first started noticing hair loss in my mid early- mid twenties and it began at the crown. At first I could just sort of feel it when I ran my fingers through my hair- the area just felt 'thinner' but visually, it was pretty much undetectable. I sort of hoped that it was just my imagination, that it would never really progress much beyond that but my father always had a fairly prominent bald spot at the crown so I kind of knew in the back of my mind where I was likely headed. Who knows, maybe things would be different for me.
Some time later, people began commenting “Hey, you are going bald at the back!” It was more or less just a thinning strip at that stage but the beginnings of male pattern baldness were there. It was always a source of amusement forpeople to point this out because without bragging, I had really nice, thick hair that I took a lot of pride in. It was sort of a Beverly Hills 90210 style- lots of blow drying, hair spray etc. I was single at the time and always out in the bars and night clubs trying to get girls so I felt that my hair was a very important part of my look. It started to affect my confidence but I tried my best to put it to the back of my mind and forget about it.
I looked into treatment options that were available at the time and eventually settled on Rogaine. I used it for a short time but I actually hated using it. Rubbing a greasy, oily lotion into my hair every day was not something I took to so that didn't last long. I eventually gave up on the Rogaine and decided to let nature take its course. Thankfully, the balding progressed very slowly and eventually I settled down with a girl, bought a house and decided that I really didn't care that much about my bald spot and pretty much stopped stressing about it. I hated it when people would comment on it or even worse, when someone would walk up behind my and start rubbing it which happened on a couple of occasions but what could I really do but try and laugh about it?
I could never figure out why with me, people always felt they had to comment on it or inform me that I was thinning at the back. I never saw these same people doing that to other guys that were already far more advanced with their balding than I was. It was like a lot of people seemed smugly satisfied thatI was going bald. Even my father used to make a point of making jokes about my bald spot in front of other people which I found really humiliating. My father is one of these super sensitive types who cannot take any criticism at all and would be shattered if people made fun of his physical appearance yet bizarrely, he though nothing of making me the brunt of his jokes and seemed to enjoy it even more when there was an audience. I could never figure out why he did that. I guess that because people thought I was pretty thick skinned and confident that I didn't mind and found it funny but deep down it really, really crushed me.
In my mid thirties when my partner decided she didn't love me anymore and elected to leave me, I found myself single and noticeably balding. Now I would be back out dating and trying to get women but my balding had progressed quite a bit. I still looked good from the front but my bald spot had expanded, making me more self conscious than ever. I loathed getting hair cuts, feeling that everyone was staring at my ugly bald spot. Around this time, whilst browsing the Internet, I discovered Toppik and it literally gave me back my confidence. It worked really well and I felt like a new man and continued using it for many years after that. It became part of my daily routine.
I decided that I would use Toppik until it stopped working and then, I would go for a hair transplant in Thailand. I used to research all the latest techniques and all the doctors on the hair loss forums. I dreamed of traveling to Canada to have a transplant with Dr Wong or Dr Hasson but feared I would never be able to afford it. I also hated the idea of having my head cut up and dreaded a botched job but I figured, this was my only chance of solving this problem. Some of the before and after photos I saw of people that had had transplants made me even more depressed. Sure there were some great ones but there were some shockers too. I also point blank refused to get on a lifetime regime of Propecia given some of the horror stories I had read about that.
I continued on using my Toppik until very recently but it started to look stupid. I was sprinkling Toppik onto skin. Now even the front began to thin a bit. My hair got increasingly difficult to style. I realized for years that my hair had been really holding me back. I didn't do activities that I used to love doing because of my hair. I hadn't swam in years, I hated staying at other peoples houses because of my fear of leaving Toppik all over their pillows and waking up in the morning looking like the back of my head had some nasty disease with clumps of black Toppik and hair spray all over my scalp. I couldn't have a nap in the day because after I woke up, getting my hair to look normal was a good half hour process. Playing pool and standing under bright lamps made me cringe in fear. I loathed looking down and seeing black under my finger nails from where I must have scratched my scalp during my sleep. Standing in any kind of queue had me worried sick that the person standing behind me was staring at the back of my head. I had had just about enough.
About a week ago, I finally decided I'd had it with my hair. It had become more trouble than it was worth. I was not going to spend the rest of my life being a prisoner to hair, sitting on the sidelines of life and being a spectator. I had booked a cruise with my current girlfriend and my Mum and stepfather in June and I imagined myself, spending all morning in my cabin, blow drying my hair, messing around with Toppik, never going in the water, never swimming or diving when we went to the islands- what kind of holiday would it be, being a full time, paranoid captive to hair? I made up my mind that I was going to enjoy my holiday and spend as much time being active and in the water as I could.
So, on this particular morning, I woke up and made my decision- the hair was coming off. I washed my hair, blow dried it and put on a hat and drove to a barber shop. I didn't go to my usual one because I didn't want to get into a discussion with my barber about the pros and cons of shaving my head- it wasn't open for discussion. I know it sounds pathetic, but as I drove to the barber shop I actually had butterflies in my stomach. Would I look stupid? Would it make my ears look huge? Did I have a weird shaped head? Did I have any ugly moles underneath my hair? Would my girlfriend recoil in horror when she saw me and stop being attracted to me? No matter, it was time. I downed two beers quickly and walked into the barber shop with a partial beer buzz and sat down in the chair.
The barber asked me what I wanted and I told him to give me a #1 buzz cut. He said “#1 on the sides?” I told him no, all over. He said to me, “You know that is very short, are you sure?” I said “Just do it.” The guy told me he would start just on the sides so I could change my mind before he attacked the top and I said OK. He started shaving and when he got to the top he said “Do you still want it?” “Yes” I said, “Take it all off.” He continued shaving and even though I was nervous I immediately started to feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The hair nightmare was over. About half way through, I said to him “Do you have a #1/2 guard?” He said he did and I told him to give me a ½ guard cut all over.
The barber finished the cut and I looked in the mirror and smiled. There was a new guy smiling back at me- a guy not paralyzed by paranoia about his hair. The barber asked me what I thought and I said “Great- thank you.” The barber looked at me and smiled and just said “Freedom huh?” I smiled back at him and said- “Yes.” I will never forget that moment- it might seem silly and minor to some but to me, I had taken a huge step and dealt with an issue that had plagued me and affected my self confidence for years. I paid my money and walked out of the store- finally free. I had taken a baseball cap with me to the barber so I could hide my head when I walked out but I didn't even put it on. I walked into the sun with a big smile on my face. I honestly felt like a guy that had been released from prison.
That night my girl came home from work and laughed at me. She ran her hands over it and smiled. She said to me “Honey- you are still gwapo!” (She is Filipino and gwapo means handsome in Tagalog).
The next day, I looked in the mirror and decided I didn't like the grey stubble that covered my head so I took out my Braun electric shaver and took it right down to skin and went and sat in the sun on my balcony to let my scalp get some color. I felt like a new man and it was one of the happiest days I've had in years. I felt like a guy that had been released from prison and was free once again.
People have laughed and commented when they have first seen me with my new look. Some said it looked weird and would take time to get used to, others told me they loved it and some said it made me look tough. One of my friends said I actually look younger now! (I am 39 FYI). Many people, to my surprise barely noticed and some simply remarked “Oh, you've had a haircut.” You know what? I don't care what anyone thinks, I am me, I still think I look good and I have more confidence now than I ever had with a scalp full of Toppik and hair spray.
I'm not going to sit here and lie to you guys- if I had the choice between this and a full head of hair and could have a cool hairstyle like David Beckham or something, I would take the hair every time. It is true if you ask me, that no one looks better bald than they do with a full head of hair but compared to what I had, and have been doing the last few years, I would NEVER, EVER go back. I'm done reading about hair transplants, doctors, Propecia, Rogaine, scalp tattoos, Norwood patterns and all the rest of it. My brushes, Toppik, shampoo, hand held mirror (for studying the back of my head) are all going in the trash. It's over for me and I have never felt better about a decision in my life.
You are probably asking why I wrote this post. Who cares about some nobody in Australia and his battle with hair loss right? I wrote it just to point out to some of you that there is a way of dealing with hair loss that doesn't involve drugs or surgery. I am not trying to make light of anyones hair issues here, I know how stressful it is and I can empathize with every single one of you who are battling with this- especially the younger guys. I am lucky that I had pretty good hair through my twenties and most of my thirties when you need your self confidence the most.
I have never felt better and I am done stressing about hair. Life is not all about hair guys, it really isn't. Shave it off, work on your physique, hold your head up high and look people in the eye. You are no less of a man than guys with great hair and I'll tell you something that some may not realize, the only people that spend their time stressing, thinking and reading about hair loss are people that are going through it- no one else cares. Forget combovers, concealers, expensive surgeries and all the rest of it if you can. If you feel that that is what you have to do, then do it but at least consider the alternative- it worked for me and surely I am not the only one.
Good luck and God bless guys.
Adam.
