Well, if it wasn't for Toppik along with the SPRAY maximizer that I have applauded again and again on this forum I'd be on the same boat as you guys. My hair is spiky in the front, I use a creamy pomade gel (matrix by biolage). I use less in other areas and more in the front. Then I puff a few sprays of Toppik into the spikes at the hairline and vuala.. my hair looks absolutely normal. The trick also is to have your hair more on the dry side before you apply any styling product.
I have tried the garnier "surf hair" that everyone was raving about on this forum and was not impressed. I use a little bit of that stuff at the tip of my spikes to emphasize the spikes on occasion, but I much rather prefer pomades that wash out leaving your hair feel silky and smooth. When I try to wash out garnier it feels like I'm gonna rip chunks of hair out cuz its a glue/putty type of substance.
Now I'm looking through this forum to find a good shampoo and conditioner to add to my rogaine foam regimine. My goal is to have my same hairstyle without worrying about Toppik. I really miss the days I used to swim in the ocean or pool. I've got a phobia now of getting caught in the rain or letting anyone see me getting out of the shower or wet at all.