Anyone else notice this on here?

[Obsidian]

It seems like the ones who ask for the most sympathy on here or complain about their plight of being bald/balding are usually the most rude or disrespectful when someone tries to help them. It's almost like they don't want to be helped, almost like they need to sulk in misery to feel alive, to quote Paradise Lost 'And the Devil felt how awful goodness is'. All I am just saying is if they're crying out for help, like most of these threads are, why are not surprised that other people might not see things black and white as they do?


Just a little rambling.

 

[Draco88]

Perhaps some people find it comforting to be always miserable, and occassionally have someone tell them that they're gonna be ok, then back to their miserable state.

 

[toocoolforhair]

Misery is their comfort zone.

 

[TheGrayMan2001]

I agree its really off putting but you just have to ignore it and go on..."weak" people are bound to be psychologically crushed by hair loss and would rather be miserable than do anything about it.

The funniest ones are those who don't even try finasteride or minoxidil and still keep whining.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Misery loves company............................................ :whistle:

 

[uncomfortable man]

Maybe it has something to do with your idea of help is making condescending remarks like, "It's all in your head." or "Even if you got all your hair back, you would just find something else to fixate on." How is that being helpful or supportive? This is the impact section that was designed for complaining, so when people with minimal to no hairloss come here and try to make people who are actually inflicted feel like they don't have a right to be upset, they are being just as counterproductive as those who are complaining. Everyone on this site who is nw5 or higher understands and sympathizes with eachothers plight....call it comisserating, call it what you want but conversing with other people in similar situations helps when your depressed and that is what this section is for so get off of your high horse Obi.

 

[Hairforever]

Well said Uncomfortable Man. I've lived with hairloss since I was 17. I'm now nearly 49 and during that time I've receded and thinned to a Norwood 5plus. In the last 8 years I've been on Propecia with nasty sides and had numerous hair transplants with mixed results and even though I look better than I did 8 years ago hairloss is relentless until you die.

 

[Obsidian]

Maybe it has something to do with your idea of help is making condescending remarks like, "It's all in your head." or "Even if you got all your hair back, you would just find something else to fixate on." How is that being helpful or supportive? This is the impact section that was designed for complaining, so when people with minimal to no hairloss come here and try to make people who are actually inflicted feel like they don't have a right to be upset, they are being just as counterproductive as those who are complaining. Everyone on this site who is nw5 or higher understands and sympathizes with eachothers plight....call it comisserating, call it what you want but conversing with other people in similar situations helps when your depressed and that is what this section is for so get off of your high horse Obi.

So for anyone to complain, they have to reach monk status before they can? Also, so because people want to help this gives you reason to act like a jerk or passive aggressive in your posts?

Also, so being bald bothers you more than being unemployed, living at your parents home, or being a high school drop-out?

 

[TheGrayMan2001]

I hate losing hair as much as the next guy and want to stop it...vanity, I guess.

I think the other people who are the ones you are talking about have psychological problems and likely would not be "happy" even if they got all their hair back.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Maybe it has something to do with your idea of help is making condescending remarks like, "It's all in your head." or "Even if you got all your hair back, you would just find something else to fixate on." How is that being helpful or supportive? This is the impact section that was designed for complaining, so when people with minimal to no hairloss come here and try to make people who are actually inflicted feel like they don't have a right to be upset, they are being just as counterproductive as those who are complaining. Everyone on this site who is nw5 or higher understands and sympathizes with eachothers plight....call it comisserating, call it what you want but conversing with other people in similar situations helps when your depressed and that is what this section is for so get off of your high horse Obi.

So for anyone to complain, they have to reach monk status before they can? Also, so because people want to help this gives you reason to act like a jerk or passive aggressive in your posts?

Also, so being bald bothers you more than being unemployed, living at your parents home, or being a high school drop-out?[/quote
Sorry, but your phrasing on that last sentence is a little confusing, but not so much that I can't recognize it as a personal attack that is totally irrelevant to your original message. Is that another example of your "helping", Obi? And I was a college dropout, not high school. Anyone can get upset about their hairloss no matter what stage but there is a fundumental difference between someone noticing a little temporal recession (but no one else noticing) and having a full on horseshoe that is obvious to anyone who see's it. It is a legitamate difference that I feel obligated to remind certain people of from time to time when they are overreacting about not having a perfectly straight hairline like some black teenager. Anyway, your personal attacks on me are only helping to prove my point that your idea of help is just really condecending bullshit. Thanks for that... :jackit:

 

[DoctorHouse]

What I notice most about the people in this forum, myself included, is that so many of us have more "mental" problems that goes beyond just hair loss and would keep a psychiatrist busy for a lifetime. We all have our "hang ups" about something we don't like about ourselves. Then eventually, it becomes a "pissing contest" on who's situation needs the most sympathy or attention and then forum members turn on each other like a "mad dog". As someone said in another post, its like "Lord of the Flies" here. The person with the most hair loss gets to be the leader in sympathy and power. I think everyone on here is intelligent to know that a NW5 is worse than a NW1 or a NW2. The NW1 and NW2's are so scared of becoming a NW5 that they will over react and panic. Their reaction is understandable. When the people who have the worse case of balding see these people with virtually no hair loss complaining and thinking its the "end of the world" for them, they are going to react. Their reaction stems from being bitter and miserable because they are no longer that "newbie" on the block just losing his hair. Its the "sour grapes" reaction. I honestly think everyone who is lower on the Norwood scale feels sympathy for those less fortunate ones who had aggressive balding at a young age. They may not express it but I am sure they feel it. I think what comes across the screen on most of the threads is frustration more than anything. People try so hard to keep their hair by fighting as hard as they can with all the arsenal we have. When they are failing they come on here and tell their story. Some get lucky and have a success story while those who fail only wish they could be the one who is having success. Then those who are failing get frustrated and may start to get antagonist with certain members who tend to constantly complain about how their life is ruined by their failures such as keeping their hair. After reading this thread, I do sense some the frustration in you Obsidian sometimes and unfortunately your target seems to be UM. I am not in anyway defending either one of you. I think both of you are great people and I just wish you guys would not continue to "attack" each other. Its really not worth it. And its never going to accomplish anything anyway.

 

[Guest]

i understand some of your guys' anger towards the NW1/2's that come on here and are freaking out over thair hairloss, however i try to see it from their shoes as well. When i was an NW1 or NW2, i would have done the same thing had i known a site like this existed. Hair loss can affect them just as much as it does me(NW5).

I look at it this way... I am in very good shape i would like to think, and lets say that i started getting a little flabby in the gut and i went to a weight loss forum to look for support and ideas on how to remedy the situation... I wouldnt want all the 300lbs+ guys to be rude and disrespectful just becasue "they have it worse".....

just my two cents.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I've seen Obi's picture. He has a full head of long hair with no discernable signs of hairloss. Now I understand the differences between hair loss and being short. Unlike hairloss, people don't just shrink two feet over five years or so. There is such a thing as height loss but that is when you get old and loose bone density. Hairloss could hit anyone, anytime (after puberty) out of the blue so I don't have a problem with Obi learning about treatments and using meds in a preventative capacity, how could I? What I do have a problem with is his patronizing attitude towards something with which he has no personal experience. He thinks he can tell me how to feel about being bald, while he has long thick hair. I'm 6'2" but you don't see me on height forums complaining that I'm too short while telling 5'3" guys to "just get over it".

 

[Smooth]

I'm 6'2" but you don't see me on height forums complaining that I'm too short while telling 5'3" guys to "just get over it".

Lol so f*****g true :woot:

 

[Obsidian]

 

[Cassin]

DoctorHouse nailed it.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

It seems like the ones who ask for the most sympathy on here or complain about their plight of being bald/balding are usually the most rude or disrespectful when someone tries to help them. It's almost like they don't want to be helped, almost like they need to sulk in misery to feel alive, to quote Paradise Lost 'And the Devil felt how awful goodness is'. All I am just saying is if they're crying out for help, like most of these threads are, why are not surprised that other people might not see things black and white as they do?


Just a little rambling.

I'm sure this is true in some cases, though I don't see many "asking for sympathy". Perhaps they just tell their tale. I know from my POV, there is nothing more frustrating that having someone who isn't going through what I am going through, telling me what I should be doin like he understand.

That being said, ANYONE who is on a hairloss site does not have the "normal" reaction to hairloss that most do. Most people don't come on sites and post about it.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Tired hood cliche's and immature personal attacks? Keep it up, your only helping to prove my point that you are being anything but helpful and supportive. :bravo: House, on the other hand is a good example of someone who although is not bald himself, lends a sympathetic ear and does his best to provide thoughtful and constructive insight. And he's right when he says that nothing can come of this bickering. I don't know what it is like to be 5'5" like Obi. All I can do is imagine and try to sympathize. I understand that being short carries it's own stigma. That because you are smaller that somehow makes you literally less of a man in some people's eyes. I know that there are plenty of women that are under the assumption that their man must be taller than them because men are supposed to be big and strong to make them feel secure. Many women are brainwashed by sayings like "Tall, dark and handsome" and won't date a man shorter than them for fear that it would make her look less feminine. On the flip side of that coin, I'm sure there are some super tall women that have a hard time getting dates because they dwarf most men and consequently make them feel somewhat intimidated. Our society in general holds some high expectations and harbors certain prejudices that can make lives challenging. I think I remember a story Obi told (I think it was him) where a girl that he had been dating dumped him by thanking him for showing her what she didn't want in a man. Wow, that must have been rough to hear. If that was you Obi, I want you to see how I don't cynically scrutinize your tale but rather give you my humble condolences. After all, this is the Hairlosstalk SUPPORT forums.

 

[s.a.f]

I think some of these guys are just seeing in the bald guys what they dont want themselves to become and thats what bothers them.