Asking Girls Which Is More Important: Looks or Personality?
- Thread starter Oknow
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Due to the fact I'm a big hairy scary bald monster......................
DoctorHouse
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Looks will get you in the door. Personality will eventually matter.
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I watched it.
doubleindemnity
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Not watching this junk because I actually value my time.
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Totally agree with this dude
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Sure put a camera in someone's face and they'll tell you the truth... Cmon man. The opposite is true: give someone a mask and they'll reveal their true face. Most women value looks and charisma over everything else
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And everyone thinks that's normal, but women love to virtue signal and be "politically correct"
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Right it's silly to judge their preference since beauty is like a flame that everyone is drawn to naturally. Even newborns can discern ugly from attractive. Just be honest about it
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Exactly. I cant judge a woman for prefering a good looking man over my ugly bald head, but at least be fking honest about it.
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Not going to waste time watching that but will say it's all looks for a genuine relationship with spontaneous attraction, afterwards feelings develop if they have a socially adjusted personality and bonds form. That said there are plenty of women who are desperate due to flaws in looks or personality themselves and will latch onto any guy for companionship and settling down and won't care for attraction as much. You could even put some pretty women into this category who have gotten divorced and have kids, they will have to lower expectations and it will be hard for them in particular due to their former status and that high they got before.
There's just too many examples I know of pretty educated girls turning down guys due to being ugly, balding hard even with money, good job and a nice socially adjusted personality. They literally don't get beyond date 1 even when mutual friends set it up and when I asked them or my girl, they said he was ugly and it didn't feel couply. It's common sense really, a girl has to feel she's going to want to go down on you and get turned on by it or have you down there on her and enjoy seeing you lol. It's a subconscious and innate thing, genuine attraction.
TBF most gals who tick all the boxes already tend to find their match early on in life and are locked down early I find. I know girls have types but usually conventional looks wins hands down: masculinity in the face, nice head of hair and a propensity to like exotic guys more although it's no deal breaker. It's also way easier to age with masculine features as signs of ageing look a bit natural and can pull of greys or dyed hair, girl simply won't care as they see an attractive fullhead but will like the dyed look as it's still a guy who pulls it off like Frank Grillo.
I would say settling can be dangerous but can also be nice when both parties are on board and have that care for one another -it tends to work out good and productive for both partners. It's better than being lonely, no emotional support, sexless and people wondering why is he still alone and avoiding social events/social media - it's been proven single men get more depressed than single women ironically despite the cat meme. Friends, work goals and hobbies just don't give the same high once you've had it. Ultimately the movie type love which gives a high is the best and long lasting, where there is genuine physical and emotional connectivity from a young age with little baggage.
There's just too many examples I know of pretty educated girls turning down guys due to being ugly, balding hard even with money, good job and a nice socially adjusted personality. They literally don't get beyond date 1 even when mutual friends set it up and when I asked them or my girl, they said he was ugly and it didn't feel couply. It's common sense really, a girl has to feel she's going to want to go down on you and get turned on by it or have you down there on her and enjoy seeing you lol. It's a subconscious and innate thing, genuine attraction.
TBF most gals who tick all the boxes already tend to find their match early on in life and are locked down early I find. I know girls have types but usually conventional looks wins hands down: masculinity in the face, nice head of hair and a propensity to like exotic guys more although it's no deal breaker. It's also way easier to age with masculine features as signs of ageing look a bit natural and can pull of greys or dyed hair, girl simply won't care as they see an attractive fullhead but will like the dyed look as it's still a guy who pulls it off like Frank Grillo.
I would say settling can be dangerous but can also be nice when both parties are on board and have that care for one another -it tends to work out good and productive for both partners. It's better than being lonely, no emotional support, sexless and people wondering why is he still alone and avoiding social events/social media - it's been proven single men get more depressed than single women ironically despite the cat meme. Friends, work goals and hobbies just don't give the same high once you've had it. Ultimately the movie type love which gives a high is the best and long lasting, where there is genuine physical and emotional connectivity from a young age with little baggage.
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The thing is though and the point everyone is missing, is where it can be subjective
The girl I’m dating is conventionally attractive, I’ve had in contrast less attractive women call me ugly
it’s not black and white as people make it out to be
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That just means that you're in the grey area between attractiveness and not objectively, hence the varied responses imo.
A couple of truly attractive guys I know would never be called ugly, scrap that, would never not be a girl's "type," sure types exist but if a girl sees that someone is truly handsome in the conventional sense, it's usually enough for her. Literally every girl from high school onwards were dying to marry one of these guys I know or date/fun, you could dress him in bigger clothes or unkempt hair/beard and it wouldn't make much difference even if he was skinny fat, as long as he had hygiene I guess. That's when you see reality. I'd say anyone truly with even remote traits of conventional looks probably is at least a 7 and has a wide net.
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Which is my point, don’t need to be super conventionally attractive to get into a relationship , just need to find someone that likes your look
the incels seem to think so
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tl:dr;
If you are irreversibly bald young and dont have the right face(normies think about this as the head shape) or body(tall and buff, ideally on trt at least) to back it up its pretty much a wrap. Any relationship which you will have will not be genuine and you will never have the same experience as your peers, finding yourself to be miserable even in a relationship where something will always feel off.
But its not exclusive to being bald, you can even have some other physical deformation.
Next paragraph is about your last point specifically:
You say that single men are more depressed then average men in relationships, that is true, but are they depressed more than guys who are in abusive relationships with women who absolutely disrespect them which leads to a marriage with physical or emotional intimacy? I dont think so. Its better to be alone then live and interact with someone who dislikes you at the primal level.
Note that this usually happens to guys who lose their looks early, but looked good enough and were well off before marriage.
A relevant topic:
You hear a story here and there from women who didnt date the best looking guys when they were younger, they say that when they found the new relationship eye opening in a sense that they thought something was wrong with them(not attracted to their partner), only later to realize that their previous partners were ugly. Utterly brutal imo, which disproves that talking point where people say women wont date them because they had many partners before. What you want to pressure people into dating you due to their fear of being alone? I dont think so.
As a conclusion:
While my post seems to be demotivating or depressing its really not, because if you still look average, and most people do, this is usually more than enough for a decent relationship, sure your face might not be causing dopamine spikes when they see it, but most definitely people are indifferent to it and can even grow to like it, and you might even be lucky enough to genuinely look very good to someone like the oknow example. So most people are fine when finding a partner which I see in real life.
But if you are genuinely physically ugly despite being groomed and fit, then you are fucked, but luckily that is unlikely to happen.
And the while time I'm talking mainly about people under 30-35 since when you get past that age its pretty hard to look good, even if you have right genetics for aging and because the ability to produce healthiest offspring decreases.
And I also assume you are talking about the same age?
And a thought:
If you think about it your face is everything when it comes to interacting with people, its the defining characteristic which people think of you by and are differentiated among everyone else, they dont think about you as some abstract concept of personality and achievements, they think about your face the whole time. So its important to have a non ugly face in life in general not just to date.
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Yeah I agree, but like I said before, different people have different fetishes
Girl I’m dating is is an attractive white woman, but loves brown/dark skin, and Indian features
Attraction isn’t that simple
when people describe chads, it’s usually a white dude/European features
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That's true, probably as some incels live online or are profoundly mentally ill, combine that with lack of actual life experience = write fairy tales.
Interesting, I agree in some parts. I think while a balding guy (or insert any other physical disfigurement like you wrote) may struggle for that typical movie type romance/relationship we see, I wouldn't say it's always "not genuine." What is genuine for a start? Every relationship is different and yes it may not be like their in demand peers but a relationship is defined by only those 2 individuals and they may have incredible chemistry, loyalty and devotion to one another. Really depends what type of girl you get with, a typical girl seeking constant dopamine rushes just won't get hot even with a candlelight beach dinner and all the money, but we can't think in absolutes. A looksmax girl or understanding one may be able to overlook certain things and realise no one is perfect.
Yes absolutely, plenty of unhappy marriages around hence divorces happen. As you mentioned in some cases this was because the guy lost his looks, was mistreated and became depressed after the break up - it goes both ways though, many guys cheat as their gf ends up looking like ****. But statistically these guys are still "normies" as they say on forums and can jump back into dating faster than guys who have done **** all, all their lives. The guys who have hardly dated struggle in all ways and become more ill over time and it's not easily reversible or something small like "feeling the blues." At least these divorcees have lived life, have memories and less regrets, it's all part of life. Rotting on the other hand indoors, gaming, no social life, eating junk 24/7, no sexual experiences or own family and forum talk is not.
Overall yes women do date guys they don't find attractive for various reasons and guys do too, overall these relationships lead to resentment, frustration unless they have an intense connection which helps overlook this. It still doesn't change that a relationship should include all forms of completeness from the physical to the emotional, it's a better recipe for success. A woman who finds her partner hot and he treats her right in all ways rarely cheats unlike men lol, of course character is the central theme here but the relationship microenvironment plays a role for women.
Average face, normal personality and basic hygiene/grooming/style is more than enough for a relationship and a good one at that, strongly concur mate. It's enough for someone to like and form a bond with as the human element comes in and true ugly is rare and even that can be adjusted a little with some smart moves.
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funny you mention that
I think a lot of guys over estimate how good looking they are
I remember before going to the gym, dressing in a way where clothes hanged on me, my attitude was where I thought to myself that I was good looking enough to get the type of women I wanted - women who were in shape/slim, nice hair, nails, smile etc
lo and behold, it was only after getting into decent shape, and looking after myself better. by that, women telling me I have good body and complimenting my definition that I started to attract good looking women. Also clothes would fit 100% better. Wore a shirt I bought before working out recently, and girl I’m seeing comment how my muscles were bulging through.
I notice where now I get a lot more attention, lately at the gym I catch women checking me out, where one smiled at me randomly after we caught eyes
Never ever happened to me before.
Lots of guys can do more to improve their appearance but choose not too. You reap what you sow.
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Never before has there been a human so despised as I.
The odd looking one.
Laughed at again on Friday walking to the gym. A woman(sounded foreign) with what I assume was her boyfriend scoffing about how "red" I am.
I reckon on average, I get ridiculed 3-4daily.
The human question mark..................