I have been diffuse thinning since the age of 24. Every second of every day has been dramatically different than it was before, in the most abysmal, nightmarish possible way. I am now 36, and in worse condition than ever. Hair loss has brought about a hell I previously never knew could possibly exist in this world.
Until 30, I was in denial. I did the side comb and it wasn't noticeable to anyone that I had any degree of loss, so I kept on that way. At 30, streaks of scalp began to show through and I knew I had to do something, fast.
Since then, I’ve been in an all out war with hair loss, losing every battle along the way. At the beginning, I thought I would try natural (and some truly bank breaking) methods. I started with biotin, b12, beta sitosterol (still on those), vitamin D, foliac acid, saw palmetto and various compounds like Hairomega.
None of it worked, and I ended up trying to shave my head for the first time. I looked like a monster! My head is hideously misshapen, I have a grotesque mole on the upper right of my scalp and I have a protuberant scar on the back of my head from when I fell on a corner when I was 6. I appear like a deformed cancer patient.
Soon after, I threw myself at the mercy (merciless) We Grow Hair, who suggested I do a tremendously expensive laser treatment therapy. Desperate for my life back, I took their offer and did 6 months of treatment at an exorbitant price. They also included a series of shampoos and conditioners. After 6 months, they refunded me ½ as there were no results and even noticeable thinning after even 6 months.
As my hair grew in, it *appeared* that I had achieved some sort of result somehow. I was able to do the combforward and appear to all *normies* that I had a full head. I figured this could possibly be delayed results from the laser, as it is the first thing I truly threw my full effort into. I used more of my hard earned savings to purchase a Laser Messiah from OverMachoGrande, using his plan with polysorbate 80 and ethyl alcohol 50/50 mix for 25 minutes before use. For 3 years, I was very happy with the way things played out. My hair (combed forward, of course) appeared as thick as it was since the day I started this routine. Until December 2015 when to my shock and horror, there was a massive gap in the left side of my hairline (The left side of my head has been noticeably thinner than the right since the inception of this curse) and I panicked, I cried, I hurt myself.
I ended up in a psychiatric ward in April, where I saw a dermatologist there due to my complaints about how I ended up there. He prescribed me finasteride. I decided at that point that losing my manhood was EASILY the lesser evil as compared to losing my hair. From then, I went on the “Big 3.” I had none of the side effects commonly associated with these treatments. No loss of libido (depression and utter despair caused by hair loss already made me lose interest years ago anyway), no brain fog, no acne etc. None of that, but I got what was by far the worst possible side effect of all: ACCELERATED HAIR LOSS!! I was told at month 3 “this is a good sign!” “This means that it’s working!” “I has to get worse before it gets better!”
18 months on the “Big 3”, and I had lost more density than I had in the previous 6 years combined. I begin to see a second dermatologist and a trichologist as well because my life is truly on the line. They all told me to switch to dutasteride. So I did. 8 months later, my density is worse than ever yet again. I began doing all sorts of “alternative” methods such as detumescence every day, onion juice headstands, hanging my head backwards of my bed until I’m dizzy, derma rolling before my laser session so rough that I would often bleed… even praying to god multiple times daily….it just got worse and worse. I went to see both dermatologists and trichologist… dermatologist 1 “lol cope” dermatologist 2 “lol cope” trichologist “lol cope.”
The thing is, there IS no coping with this. There is no way to simply accept subhumanity when you’ve done everything you possibly can to prevent it. There is no way to “lol cope” with a gruesome self image that engenders a profound sense of self-loathing. Really, I truly believe that there is nothing worse on in life that could possibly happen to someone than pernicious, entirely treatment-resistant hair loss!
My entire life is a daymare. My only escape is sleep (which is rare due to the traumatic effects of my dreadful situation) and even then I more often than not dream about hair loss. Is there anything left for me to try that has any chance of helping me escape this life of relegation, ridicule and condescendention? Or is suicide really my only way out?
Please help me. I am at the end of my rope
Until 30, I was in denial. I did the side comb and it wasn't noticeable to anyone that I had any degree of loss, so I kept on that way. At 30, streaks of scalp began to show through and I knew I had to do something, fast.
Since then, I’ve been in an all out war with hair loss, losing every battle along the way. At the beginning, I thought I would try natural (and some truly bank breaking) methods. I started with biotin, b12, beta sitosterol (still on those), vitamin D, foliac acid, saw palmetto and various compounds like Hairomega.
None of it worked, and I ended up trying to shave my head for the first time. I looked like a monster! My head is hideously misshapen, I have a grotesque mole on the upper right of my scalp and I have a protuberant scar on the back of my head from when I fell on a corner when I was 6. I appear like a deformed cancer patient.
Soon after, I threw myself at the mercy (merciless) We Grow Hair, who suggested I do a tremendously expensive laser treatment therapy. Desperate for my life back, I took their offer and did 6 months of treatment at an exorbitant price. They also included a series of shampoos and conditioners. After 6 months, they refunded me ½ as there were no results and even noticeable thinning after even 6 months.
As my hair grew in, it *appeared* that I had achieved some sort of result somehow. I was able to do the combforward and appear to all *normies* that I had a full head. I figured this could possibly be delayed results from the laser, as it is the first thing I truly threw my full effort into. I used more of my hard earned savings to purchase a Laser Messiah from OverMachoGrande, using his plan with polysorbate 80 and ethyl alcohol 50/50 mix for 25 minutes before use. For 3 years, I was very happy with the way things played out. My hair (combed forward, of course) appeared as thick as it was since the day I started this routine. Until December 2015 when to my shock and horror, there was a massive gap in the left side of my hairline (The left side of my head has been noticeably thinner than the right since the inception of this curse) and I panicked, I cried, I hurt myself.
I ended up in a psychiatric ward in April, where I saw a dermatologist there due to my complaints about how I ended up there. He prescribed me finasteride. I decided at that point that losing my manhood was EASILY the lesser evil as compared to losing my hair. From then, I went on the “Big 3.” I had none of the side effects commonly associated with these treatments. No loss of libido (depression and utter despair caused by hair loss already made me lose interest years ago anyway), no brain fog, no acne etc. None of that, but I got what was by far the worst possible side effect of all: ACCELERATED HAIR LOSS!! I was told at month 3 “this is a good sign!” “This means that it’s working!” “I has to get worse before it gets better!”
18 months on the “Big 3”, and I had lost more density than I had in the previous 6 years combined. I begin to see a second dermatologist and a trichologist as well because my life is truly on the line. They all told me to switch to dutasteride. So I did. 8 months later, my density is worse than ever yet again. I began doing all sorts of “alternative” methods such as detumescence every day, onion juice headstands, hanging my head backwards of my bed until I’m dizzy, derma rolling before my laser session so rough that I would often bleed… even praying to god multiple times daily….it just got worse and worse. I went to see both dermatologists and trichologist… dermatologist 1 “lol cope” dermatologist 2 “lol cope” trichologist “lol cope.”
The thing is, there IS no coping with this. There is no way to simply accept subhumanity when you’ve done everything you possibly can to prevent it. There is no way to “lol cope” with a gruesome self image that engenders a profound sense of self-loathing. Really, I truly believe that there is nothing worse on in life that could possibly happen to someone than pernicious, entirely treatment-resistant hair loss!
My entire life is a daymare. My only escape is sleep (which is rare due to the traumatic effects of my dreadful situation) and even then I more often than not dream about hair loss. Is there anything left for me to try that has any chance of helping me escape this life of relegation, ridicule and condescendention? Or is suicide really my only way out?
Please help me. I am at the end of my rope
