BRoyJenkins
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At age 16, my hair began receding at the temples. It prompted me to change my hair style from this (I'm the one on the left)
to this
in order to hide the recession. And it worked for a good few years; I would moan at people about how I was losing my hair, and they would berate me for being foolish.
How things have changed. I'm 21 now, and the recession has gotten to be a real problem. Last night, a friend told me I was losing my hair faster than my already heavily balding cousin. This upset me in several ways, not least because years of gentle, laddish rivalry means I like to feel superior to my cousin whenever I can. But the most upsetting thing was, up until now, I had no idea people actually noticed that I was losing my hair. It always felt like I was going mad - I could see it was getting worse, but whenever I brought it up around people they'd brush it off as though I was some rambling lunatic.
Today feels like a turning point. I woke up, feeling like my life was pointless and completely devoid of merit. What's the point of life, after all, if I'm going bald aged 21, old before my time in a world where youth means absolutely everything? I've never been a bad-looking guy, and talking to girls with the end goal of getting with them is one of my favourite things, but what interest would they have in me now, at a stage where my hair loss is noticeable? All bald men are ugly and can't possibly get any female attention (I know this isn't actually true, if you're bald and reading this - I even happen to have something of a man crush on Jason Statham, who's done pretty well with women in his lifetime).
I decided this was the beginning of the end of my life, and I committed to the idea of self-starvation, the way out of Bobby Sands and a noble and poignant form of death. In what will go down as one of history's most pathetic suicide attempts, I lasted for 12 hours, consuming nothing but water, when my sister, worried at the mad thousand-yard stare I'd developed, bought me a sandwich. I couldn't bare to see her money go to waste, so I ate it and I'm as close to death now as I ever have been after a meal.
The psychological route of the problem is probably much deeper than the hair loss, but going into it would be a Freudian minefield. I suppose I'm posting about this as a cry for help because I obviously don't want to die, not really. I think I want someone to convince me it'll be all right, or just to hear a voice of reason from someone going through what I'm going through at such a young age. I'm not surrounded by any like-minded people, but by those who have the same mentality as most: that hair loss is a trivial and insignificant factor of life. I'm just finding it hard to cope with the agony of living it anymore and I needed to get it off my chest.
to this
in order to hide the recession. And it worked for a good few years; I would moan at people about how I was losing my hair, and they would berate me for being foolish.
How things have changed. I'm 21 now, and the recession has gotten to be a real problem. Last night, a friend told me I was losing my hair faster than my already heavily balding cousin. This upset me in several ways, not least because years of gentle, laddish rivalry means I like to feel superior to my cousin whenever I can. But the most upsetting thing was, up until now, I had no idea people actually noticed that I was losing my hair. It always felt like I was going mad - I could see it was getting worse, but whenever I brought it up around people they'd brush it off as though I was some rambling lunatic.
Today feels like a turning point. I woke up, feeling like my life was pointless and completely devoid of merit. What's the point of life, after all, if I'm going bald aged 21, old before my time in a world where youth means absolutely everything? I've never been a bad-looking guy, and talking to girls with the end goal of getting with them is one of my favourite things, but what interest would they have in me now, at a stage where my hair loss is noticeable? All bald men are ugly and can't possibly get any female attention (I know this isn't actually true, if you're bald and reading this - I even happen to have something of a man crush on Jason Statham, who's done pretty well with women in his lifetime).
I decided this was the beginning of the end of my life, and I committed to the idea of self-starvation, the way out of Bobby Sands and a noble and poignant form of death. In what will go down as one of history's most pathetic suicide attempts, I lasted for 12 hours, consuming nothing but water, when my sister, worried at the mad thousand-yard stare I'd developed, bought me a sandwich. I couldn't bare to see her money go to waste, so I ate it and I'm as close to death now as I ever have been after a meal.
The psychological route of the problem is probably much deeper than the hair loss, but going into it would be a Freudian minefield. I suppose I'm posting about this as a cry for help because I obviously don't want to die, not really. I think I want someone to convince me it'll be all right, or just to hear a voice of reason from someone going through what I'm going through at such a young age. I'm not surrounded by any like-minded people, but by those who have the same mentality as most: that hair loss is a trivial and insignificant factor of life. I'm just finding it hard to cope with the agony of living it anymore and I needed to get it off my chest.
