Chinese Dating Shows Are Changing Traditional Views On Love And Marriage

Afro_Vacancy

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
11,939
https://qz.com/784404/dating-shows-...nging-traditional-views-on-love-and-marriage/

Chinese dating shows are changing traditional views on love and marriage
Written by
Pan Wang Lecturer, University of Technology Sydney
MADE FOR TV
couple-walking-in-china.jpg
couple-walking-in-china.jpg

Love on the silver screen is coloring our own. (Reuters/Stringer)

Today, dating shows are an important ingredient in China’s cultural diet, with popular shows like If You Are the One and One Out of a Hundred attracting millions of viewers.

For single people, they’re a platform for seeking potential spouses; for fans, they’re the subject of gossip and dissection; for the cultural elites, they’re a topic for derision; and for the government, they’re a target for surveillance.

Compared with western cultures, China has traditionally had a vastly different value system toward marriages and family. But over the past 30 years, these customs have been upended.

I’ve studied how traditional Chinese marriage rituals have evolved in response to globalization. In many ways, dating shows became a powerful way to facilitate these changes. By looking at the development of Chinese television dating shows, we can see how love and marriage changed from a ritualized system mired in the past to the liberated, western-style version we see today.

Serving the man
Marriage matchmaking has always been an important cultural practice in China. For generations, marriage was arranged by parents who followed the principle of “matching doors and windows,” which meant that people needed to marry those of similar social and economic standing. Marriage was viewed as a contract between two households, and it was for the purpose of procreation, not love.

Thought to contribute to peace and stability, it was the dominant custom into the latter half of the 20th century.

But China’s 1978 Open Door Policy, which transitioned the country from a rigid, centrally-planned economy to a global, market-based economy, exposed the Chinese people to an array of outside cultural influences. Meanwhile, the country’s 1980 marriage law codified, for the first time, freedom to marry and gender equality.

However, even in the wake of political change and globalization, many families still held the traditional Chinese belief that women, unlike men, belonged in the home, and that their parents had the final say over whom they could marry.

So when a TV show like Television Red Bride (Dianshi hongnixang) came along in 1988, it was a big deal.

Certain traditions still ruled. The show’s purpose was to help rural, poor men find a partner, while its slogan, “Serve the people” (wei renmin fuwu), came from a 1944 speech by Mao Zedong.

Its emphasis on finding partners for men was a testament to China’s unbalanced sex ratio, caused by a combination of China’s one-child policy and advances in ultrasound technology in the 1980s that allowed pregnant women to abort millions of baby girls.

The style of the show followed a linear pattern. Male candidates introduced themselves and their family background, listed their criteria for a spouse, and answered a few questions from the host. It was essentially a singles ad broadcast before audience members, who, if interested, could contact the candidate for a date.

Despite all the limitations, the show was a groundbreaking depiction of courtship. It took decisions about love and marriage from the private home to the very public domain of broadcast TV. For Chinese romance, this was its own “great leap forward.”

Courtship redefined
By the early 1990s, Chinese TV networks found themselves in fierce competition with one another. Economic liberalization had loosened restrictions for what could appear on the airwaves, but there was now the added pressure of turning a profit. More than ever before, networks needed to produce entertaining shows that attracted audiences.

It was during this period that dating shows started to transform, depicting live, on-air matchmaking and dates between single males and females.

For example, Human Satellite TV’s Red Rose Date featured 12 single males and females who interacted with one another by performing, playing games, and having roundtable chats. Audiences could also tune into shows imported from overseas, such as Love Game, a popular Taiwanese show that matched singles through three rounds of speed dating.

These new shows were ways for singles to get to know each other in a fun, flirty environment. And for those who had little dating experience, it was a model for courtship; soon, the viewing public was able to reconceptualize ideas of love, relationships, and marriage.

At the same time, traditional courtship and marriage rituals were evaporating.

For example, in 1970, only 1.8% of couples lived together before marriage. By 2000, that number had skyrocketed to 32.6%. Meanwhile, divorces in China rose from 170,449 couples in 1978 to 3.5 million in 2013, while marriages with foreigners increased from fewer than 8,500 couples in 1979 to more than 49,000 couples in 2010.

“I’d rather weep in a BMW than laugh on a bike”
There have been some consequences to this shift: As TV became more commercialized, so, too, did love and marriage.

By the late 2000s, dating shows needed to continue to evolve in order to compete with other programs. Strategies that dating shows adopted included hiring polished hosts, borrowing set designs and show formats from Western reality shows, and incorporating technology to better interact with audience members and TV viewers at home.

Some shows started collaborating with online dating websites like baihe.com and jiayuan.com to attract participants and viewers. Others partnered with corporations to boost advertising revenue.

Today, it’s not uncommon to see commercial products and brands being hawked on various dating programs or hear hosts casually mention sponsors during an episode. Many sponsors sell products we associate with romance and dating, such as cosmetics, clothing, diet drinks, and dating website memberships.

Moments from some shows have gone viral, with many emphasizing materialistic values. In 2010, an unemployed male suitor on If You Are the One asked a female contestant if she’d go on a bike ride with him for a date. She responded that she would “rather weep in a BMW” than laugh on a bike.

Other pointed retorts include “I won’t consider you if your monthly salary is under RMB 200,000” ($33,333) and “If you come from the countryside, you can forget about it.”

Traditionalists have argued that the shows reflect the pervasive materialism, narcissism, and discrimination against the poor among China’s younger generations.

Not that arranged marriages could be thought of as pure love. But, to some viewers, if there were an ideal of pure love, this certainly wasn’t it. And it was a far cry from a dating show that purported to “serve the people.”

Not surprisingly, widespread outcry only augmented the fame of the shows and their contestants, and SARFT—China’s State Administration of Radio, Film, and Television—eventually took action.

In 2010, SARFT urged domestic TV stations to remember their social responsibilities and promote virtues advocated by the Chinese Communist Party. Since then, some shows have gone off the air while others have rectified their “misconduct.”

The government’s message was clear: While Chinese people needed to be free to love and marry, it couldn’t impinge on socialist values.

In a way, the government’s wariness with dating shows reflects many of the tensions in today’s China. While a free-market economy and state authoritarianism appear contradictory, the authorities will often intervene to try to strike a balance. And so love and marriage continue to operate within the wobbly framework of a Chinese state that attempts to simultaneously control and profit from an onslaught of global forces.

count.gif
This post originally appeared at The Conversation. Follow @ConversationUS on Twitter. We welcome your comments at ideas@qz.com.
 

JohnsonDDG

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
4,891
Attitudes are most definitely different in the east than out in the west.

In south east asia love isn't seen as a prerequisite of marriage.

Factors such as wealth, loyalty, family, responsibility all out weigh love and beauty (in terms of what women want in a man).
 

CaptainForehead

Senior Member
Reaction score
4,302

Saurabhaj

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,239
A man with 2,00,000 salary will never marry a woman who is dreaming of marrying to a man with 2,00,000 salary.
 

Exodus2011

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
5,624
am i the only one who strongly prefers women being attracted to looks over being "attracted" to money?

the former seems so much more natural

asian culture is fucked up in a lot of ways. the obsession with face, going to prison for smoking a joint, materialism, white worship, oppressive governments, etc
 

Saurabhaj

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,239
Attitudes are most definitely different in the east than out in the west.

In south east asia love isn't seen as a prerequisite of marriage.

Factors such as wealth, loyalty, family, responsibility all out weigh love and beauty (in terms of what women want in a man).
am i the only one who strongly prefers women being attracted to looks over being "attracted" to money?

the former seems so much more natural

asian culture is fucked up in a lot of ways. the obsession with face, going to prison for smoking a joint, materialism, white worship, oppressive governments, etc


If a girl marries a guy on the basis of looks only even after knowing he is low earner is recipe of disaster as many girls do not understand what is the usage of money before falling in love.

Best way to attract person is balance between both looks and money...
where money strictly means a guy is a ready to run a family.

This will lead to solid foundation in marriage stability.
 
Last edited:

JohnsonDDG

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
4,891
If a girl marries a guy on the basis of looks only even after knowing he is low earner is recipe of disaster as many girls do not understand what is the usage of money before falling in love.
I think educated professional women don't need a bread winner any more to look after that.

Having said that - most of them do want a financial equal because who wants to live with someone that holds you back?
 

Saurabhaj

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,239
I think educated professional women don't need a bread winner any more to look after that.

Having said that - most of them do want a financial equal because who wants to live with someone that holds you back?


A good earning female nowadays select a guy from same career background.
She will probably want a guy who is even earning more than her.

Also there is huge clashes of ego between couple when wife earns more than husband.
Imagine what will happen to that husband if her wife is earning the salary and he is low earner or without a job.
Life of that guy would turn bad because of ego clashes.

Besides people have mentality that no one will be satisfied with the amount of money he is earning.
A person earning x amount will love to have 2x amount money.

So that breadwinner logic of old media guys is seriously flawed.
 

JohnsonDDG

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
4,891
A good earning female nowadays select a guy from same career background.
She will probably want a guy who is even earning more than her.

Also there is huge clashes of ego between couple when wife earns more than husband.
Imagine what will happen to that husband if her wife is earning the salary and he is low earner or without a job.
Life of that guy would turn bad because of ego clashes.

Besides people have mentality that no one will be satisfied with the amount of money he is earning.
A person earning x amount will love to have 2x amount money.

So that breadwinner logic of old media guys is seriously flawed.
You're presuming everyone has a massive ego.

I actually prefer successful women and admire them for that success.

My last two girlfriends earned slightly more than me (broke up with one over sex and one over her want of children).
 

Saurabhaj

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,239
You're presuming everyone has a massive ego.

I actually prefer successful women and admire them for that success.

My last two girlfriends earned slightly more than me (broke up with one over sex and one over her want of children).

There are guys here who have massive ego of their nationality even though they are average in their country.
How will you interpret this?


There are people who have strong sense of ego in their know how of English Language understanding too.


Whats the basis of ego in this dumbness.

I know many girls who have rejected guys(my friends) just because they were doing some MD pathology or some non clinical degree and this girl's were expecting some MD medicine or radiodiagnosis future husband.
 

JohnsonDDG

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
4,891
There are guys here who have massive ego of their nationality even though they are average in their country.
How will you interpret this?


There are people who have strong sense of ego in their know how of English Language understanding too.


Whats the basis of ego in this dumbness.

I know many girls who have rejected guys(my friends) just because they were doing some MD pathology or some non clinical degree and this girl's were expecting some MD medicine or radiodiagnosis future husband.
Yes - get rid of the ego.

If anything I prefer women richer than me.

The woman I'm going out with tomorrow is a film producer; whereas I'm a lowly teacher and former journalist.

I don't care and I presume she doesn't otherwise we wouldn't be meeting.
 

Afro_Vacancy

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
11,939
Yes - get rid of the ego.

If anything I prefer women richer than me.

The woman I'm going out with tomorrow is a film producer; whereas I'm a lowly teacher and former journalist.

I don't care and I presume she doesn't otherwise we wouldn't be meeting.

She wants your hot body and so she doesn't mind that you're a pauper, at least in the short term.
 

Saurabhaj

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,239
Yes - get rid of the ego.

If anything I prefer women richer than me.

The woman I'm going out with tomorrow is a film producer; whereas I'm a lowly teacher and former journalist.

I don't care and I presume she doesn't otherwise we wouldn't be meeting.

Awesome...enjoy the date..

Btw what i said do not apply for every people.
There are golden people too.

and don't say you are lowly teacher,you will surely have bright future ahead too.

Sucess do not come directly,we will have to work hard for it.
 

Eren

Established Member
Reaction score
173

Patrick_Bateman

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
5,714
When my girlfriend tells me "well, I didn't pick you for your money/ambition to make money, that's for sure" in a teasing manner, I take it as a compliment.

The reverse would terrify me, and every time I see an "always an explanation" couple where the guy is ugly and loaded, I can't help but feel sorry for him, well, for the both of them really.

I also hate hearing the "but you don't understand!" justifications (I hope I make sense). Like my cousin's girlfriend who'd pretend that she preferred a dad bod to a shredded body just because my cousin was overweight.

Those gold diggers will get defensive when people doubt the attraction they feel towards their partner. Of course there is little to none of it, it's obvious, a bit like when you see Melania Trump with her husband:

View attachment 75192

Dat facial expression.
Melania just looks like that because she physically can’t move her face, of course she’s attracted to our Lord and Saviour Trump!!

Here’s Kim Kardashian being «attacked» by a «prankster» trying to kiss her famous ***.
attacker-attempts-to-kiss-kim-kardashians-butt-e1475107162309.png

kim-kardashian-attacked-paris-fashion-week-04.jpg
 

Exodus2011

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
5,624
When my girlfriend tells me "well, I didn't pick you for your money/ambition to make money, that's for sure" in a teasing manner, I take it as a compliment.

The reverse would terrify me, and every time I see an "always an explanation" couple where the guy is ugly and loaded, I can't help but feel sorry for him, well, for the both of them really.

I also hate hearing the "but you don't understand!" justifications (I hope I make sense). Like my cousin's girlfriend who'd pretend that she preferred a dad bod to a shredded body just because my cousin was overweight.

Those gold diggers will get defensive when people doubt the attraction they feel towards their partner. Of course there is little to none of it, it's obvious, a bit like when you see Melania Trump with her husband:

View attachment 75192

Dat facial expression.
gold digging is icky, no romance involved ew
 

Saurabhaj

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,239
Two days back,saw Jumanji 2 in Hindi.

But felt awkward when one actress said that she is not really into guys like rock at end(I am not giving full details here) and I am into guy who looks studious.(In Hindi translation.)

I don't know whether this dialogue is for Hindi language only and or this is actually present in English language too.

But one thing is sure,if this dialogue is also told in English language,this is big (In your face) reply to those who says girls like bald men who have handsome physique.
 
Top