Cityslicker101
New Member
- Reaction score
- 0
I wanted to post this for any of you guys (or gals) trying to either decide whether to change your life and start wearing wigs, or have just started and are still jittery about what lies ahead. I feel a natural bond with anyone who has gone through agony over losing their hair, for whatever reason. In my case, I had gorgeous blondish hair until about my mid-30s, then it started going in a hurry. By about 38, I was getting severely bald and just shaved it all off to have the modern consistent look, as I've always loathed the "horseshoe" look. But even after that I was in misery (sorry). Aside from the chemo-therapy look, I was constantly reminded of it as my head was always cold, if the temp got anywhere under about 80 degrees, which includes air-conditioned offices which are my work environment. So I got brave, did a lot of research, and got fitted for a whole-head wig. I've had two of them made now and have been wearing them both now for about three years, daily at my last two jobs. Due to my location, I hadn't worn them around my family yet. Here are some details of daily life, and "initial contact" reactions with my family:
At work -
I have worn my wig daily in a high-tech environment for over a year and lo, no one knows the difference. I do have some little anxiety about the wig coming off and everyone "knowing". But frankly, if that were to happen, I would have a snappy comeback and I'm sure within a week the novelty would be gone. As my "family" experiences below illustrate, only a real a-hole would keep up a mockery campaign. My snappy comebacks would include things along the line of "hey, you didn't expect me to walk around looking like a chemo-victim forever did you?".. or whatever. Now note that I started wearing hair in a work environment where no one knew me. What would be the difference if I'd gone from shiny skull to total hair in an environment where everyone already knew me? Who knows. The below recent experiences with family members might give you a perspective.
With family -
This past summer I got to "demo" my new-hair look to both immediate and not-so-immediate family members, all in the space of a week. The first was a family gathering with my wife's people. Aside from my brother-in-law, no one else there would have known what I looked like without my wig. My brother-in-law, who picked me up from the airport, didn't say a word about it, or even give me an odd look. From there I made it through a whole family get together without a hitch. If anyone "knew", they didn't give me the least bit of smirk or unmannerly treatment.
As for my own family, which included my mother, a brother, and a sister on that visit. As we are an outspoken bunch not averse to ribbing eachother, I was bracing to deal out comebacks to comments. But I never got the chance because I never got any comments, not a one. I was actually a little let down that no one felt like (apparently) they could talk about it with me, especially since, upon seeing some photos of me with wig on before the visit, she was giving me some chiding over the phone. The bottom line is that everyone who "knew better" and had a chance to give me any razzing was very gracious and left me alone about it.
Others -
To add to this, recently, a longtime friend of mine who I hadn't seen in over a year, as I'd moved away, came over and we went out for football, etc. I was bracing for some comments / ribbing but he just gave me a glance and said nothing about it the whole time we were together.
Some other comments on history and tradition w/regard to hair enhancement/replacement:
In the book "Son of the Morning Star", about Gen. Custer, it was noted that the Cheyenne & Sioux did not bother to scalp Custer, as he had lost enough hair that it wasn't really a trophy. There was also some contempt and justice mixed in with this I'm sure, as the native Americans felt that a man who had no hair was powerless in the Other World. The book also had some written observations on the Crow Indians at that time, who, it said "wore their hair down to their feet" and were stunning to look at. These same Crow, who were the most formidable enemies of the fierce Sioux/Cheyenne tribes, would routinely have hair extensions and other enhancements woven into their hair. I doubt if anyone made fun of them. The tradition of men doing something to maintain the hair-beauty of their heads goes back a lot longer than this "lose it, wear it, and bear it" culture. But of course men used to be a lot more manly than they are today.
To end off I'll say that, if you haven't guessed it yet, the biggest emotional/mental/behavior hurdle to cross when deciding to go to from no-hair to hair is your own attitude. If you ask any two people whether you should bother to do hair replacement (of whatever sort), one will tell you "no one cares" (true) or "women don't care" (true...depending), but that will get you nowhere. Just as (I've read), women give themselves breast jobs so they will like what they see in the mirror, a guy should be able to give himself back his hair so HE will like what HE sees in the mirror, and in photos. And I do, every time. Some people get bugged over the idea that they are "deceiving" people with a wig, but I get a little thrill out of it. Especially if they still have all their hair. I have comeback that I hope to use one day, if I ever get a smartass remark from a non-bald person, which is: "I never discuss my hair with anyone who hasn't shaved their head yet. The razor's in there..." And leave it in their lap. But the most important tool in making the transition is the ability to laugh at yourself. Just sit there and make jokes about yourself and your new upcoming hair system until it's easy for you. Then you'll be ready. Good luck, and here's looking at you.
At work -
I have worn my wig daily in a high-tech environment for over a year and lo, no one knows the difference. I do have some little anxiety about the wig coming off and everyone "knowing". But frankly, if that were to happen, I would have a snappy comeback and I'm sure within a week the novelty would be gone. As my "family" experiences below illustrate, only a real a-hole would keep up a mockery campaign. My snappy comebacks would include things along the line of "hey, you didn't expect me to walk around looking like a chemo-victim forever did you?".. or whatever. Now note that I started wearing hair in a work environment where no one knew me. What would be the difference if I'd gone from shiny skull to total hair in an environment where everyone already knew me? Who knows. The below recent experiences with family members might give you a perspective.
With family -
This past summer I got to "demo" my new-hair look to both immediate and not-so-immediate family members, all in the space of a week. The first was a family gathering with my wife's people. Aside from my brother-in-law, no one else there would have known what I looked like without my wig. My brother-in-law, who picked me up from the airport, didn't say a word about it, or even give me an odd look. From there I made it through a whole family get together without a hitch. If anyone "knew", they didn't give me the least bit of smirk or unmannerly treatment.
As for my own family, which included my mother, a brother, and a sister on that visit. As we are an outspoken bunch not averse to ribbing eachother, I was bracing to deal out comebacks to comments. But I never got the chance because I never got any comments, not a one. I was actually a little let down that no one felt like (apparently) they could talk about it with me, especially since, upon seeing some photos of me with wig on before the visit, she was giving me some chiding over the phone. The bottom line is that everyone who "knew better" and had a chance to give me any razzing was very gracious and left me alone about it.
Others -
To add to this, recently, a longtime friend of mine who I hadn't seen in over a year, as I'd moved away, came over and we went out for football, etc. I was bracing for some comments / ribbing but he just gave me a glance and said nothing about it the whole time we were together.
Some other comments on history and tradition w/regard to hair enhancement/replacement:
In the book "Son of the Morning Star", about Gen. Custer, it was noted that the Cheyenne & Sioux did not bother to scalp Custer, as he had lost enough hair that it wasn't really a trophy. There was also some contempt and justice mixed in with this I'm sure, as the native Americans felt that a man who had no hair was powerless in the Other World. The book also had some written observations on the Crow Indians at that time, who, it said "wore their hair down to their feet" and were stunning to look at. These same Crow, who were the most formidable enemies of the fierce Sioux/Cheyenne tribes, would routinely have hair extensions and other enhancements woven into their hair. I doubt if anyone made fun of them. The tradition of men doing something to maintain the hair-beauty of their heads goes back a lot longer than this "lose it, wear it, and bear it" culture. But of course men used to be a lot more manly than they are today.
To end off I'll say that, if you haven't guessed it yet, the biggest emotional/mental/behavior hurdle to cross when deciding to go to from no-hair to hair is your own attitude. If you ask any two people whether you should bother to do hair replacement (of whatever sort), one will tell you "no one cares" (true) or "women don't care" (true...depending), but that will get you nowhere. Just as (I've read), women give themselves breast jobs so they will like what they see in the mirror, a guy should be able to give himself back his hair so HE will like what HE sees in the mirror, and in photos. And I do, every time. Some people get bugged over the idea that they are "deceiving" people with a wig, but I get a little thrill out of it. Especially if they still have all their hair. I have comeback that I hope to use one day, if I ever get a smartass remark from a non-bald person, which is: "I never discuss my hair with anyone who hasn't shaved their head yet. The razor's in there..." And leave it in their lap. But the most important tool in making the transition is the ability to laugh at yourself. Just sit there and make jokes about yourself and your new upcoming hair system until it's easy for you. Then you'll be ready. Good luck, and here's looking at you.