Confidence...

[treeshrew]

ok i'm not wading through 28 pages of your post history... but i did find you said this:

"I tried pieces before and my personal experience is while it looks good some days (some days it does not especially when it's time to get it serviced), the person is usually very conscious of people looking at him as he walks around. When I went in, I saw people waiting to get their pieces fixed and/or a haircut with it on, and you could see clumps of hair missing that had fallen out."

you had to go somewhere to have it serviced? sounds intense. when was this?

the whole point of the video is you do it at home, yourself. and the quality/technology of the right piece is far superior to the super thick rug you were most likely wearing.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

No that wasn't it. It was maybe a few weeks ago. But I did talk about my hairpiece experiences.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

You're the one making it an issue man, I'm sure most people accept you anyway. If you are at peace with yourself and care less about what other people think of you, paradoxically they'll probably think more highly of you...

I suggest you talk to a psychologist and try to get passed this issue.

It's an issue with me. I mean I am self conscious. If I for example, had some growth on my face growing, I wouldn't be walking around with it either.

Believe me, this is what this post was about. I wish I could care less, I really do. I envy people who do. But the point is i DO care.

I mean I don't think I'm an outcase or anything. But I would not and do not feel comfortable being bald. People are wired differently man. It's not cookie cutter when it comes to how people feel. Otherwise, everyone would be successful. Everyone would be confident. Everyone would be outgoing. It's not the case and you know that.

Maybe I"ll putting some of the dermmatch stuff on my head. I mean it doesn't hurt to try right? I mean I have too much loss to get a full head of hair but hey if I can lessen the area of "head" it can't be worse than it is now right?

 

[treeshrew]

No that wasn't it. It was maybe a few weeks ago. But I did talk about my hairpiece experiences.

But it sounds like your hairpiece experiences were at least a few years ago and that you actually had to go somewhere to have it serviced and/or fit and cut, is that correct?

If so what I'm talking about is completely different. These are very thin, fine wigs that have to be replaced every few weeks. Check out this guy "My new life with hair":

http://hairlosshelp.com/forums/messagev ... adid=67682

I really don't think this is what you were using.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I remember at the time that coolpiece and the other place were around. The pieces weren't THAT bad but it was just very high maintenance. You also could not go out in sun too long or they turn red after a while. Then of course you have to get the haircuts or there is a line of demarcation where the piece starts. And finally the worst part is ALWAYS wondering if people can tell or if it looks stupid or bad that day. I finally couldn't take it anymore.

And yes initially I tried the "club" but it was so bad that I went elsewhere and checked online and found better places.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I am considering wearing a piece for when I go back to school. As long as it looks real enough, I don't mind the lie because it is probably better than the alternative. I could say with almost 100% certainty that these kids would persecute me if they saw me the way I am so IMO, they deserve to be lied to. It's not like I feel like I should do it to look cool or be accepted, just not to stand out in a bad way and made to feel horrible on a daily basis based on the way I look.

 

[IBM]

I am considering wearing a piece for when I go back to school. As long as it looks real enough, I don't mind the lie because it is probably better than the alternative. I could say with almost 100% certainty that these kids would persecute me if they saw me the way I am so IMO, they deserve to be lied to. It's not like I feel like I should do it to look cool or be accepted, just not to stand out in a bad way and made to feel horrible on a daily basis based on the way I look.

You dont need an hairpiece. You're a badass! Kids will admire you.

 

[Felk]

I mean I don't think I'm an outcase or anything. But I would not and do not feel comfortable being bald. People are wired differently man. It's not cookie cutter when it comes to how people feel. Otherwise, everyone would be successful. Everyone would be confident. Everyone would be outgoing. It's not the case and you know that.

Anyway man, you're right, there's just no reasoning with you!

I didn't mean to oversimplify people's emotions, I was just trying to make it simple in order to get you to see my point - that you can change these things. But you still refuse to believe it, so changing probably isn't on the cards for you right now. But what you said, that if people could change everyone would successful confident, etc. isn't true. That's oversimplifying things.

As for whether or not people can change their reaction to things that bother them... no offence but your or anyone else's opinion on this question isn't really that relevant. It's a factual statement. And all the evidence suggests otherwise.

 

[first]

Congrats on having such a positive outlook on things. I honestly don't have a clue what that much feel like.

In terms of whoever said I am depressed because of the non job, living at home, age thing, they are right. BUT, none of those would be a factor without being bald. That is the only thing that is keeping me from doing those things because of how bad I feel about it.

Emotional stuff has always been something that affected me and never went away.

I used to be the same way, even afraid to go outside.

However, I used reasoning to get out of the situation.

After watching a Seinfeld episode called "The Opposite" (which I think everyone should watch, it is the best episode in my opinion, and it also helped me rethink my life to some extent), I started rethinking my decisions. A lot of life altering decisions I made were wrong, even the smaller decisions I made were wrong, I knew they were wrong yet I took them anyway, due to being scared, nervous or lazy.

So what I figured out was that getting my life together was actually quite easy, the only thing I needed to do, was follow the decisions I knew was right, regardless of if I was scared, nervous or lazy and regardless of how hard it would be.

So that is what I did, and I went from a nervous skinny guy afraid to even leave his room to getting my own apartment, getting a girlfriend, getting a fit body, doing something about my ED and hairloss and started going to law school. It took some time but since I always knew what decision was right, all I needed to do really was follow my own mind.

 

[Felk]

I used to be the same way, even afraid to go outside.

However, I used reasoning to get out of the situation.

After watching a Seinfeld episode called "The Opposite" (which I think everyone should watch, it is the best episode in my opinion, and it also helped me rethink my life to some extent), I started rethinking my decisions. A lot of life altering decisions I made were wrong, even the smaller decisions I made were wrong, I knew they were wrong yet I took them anyway, due to being scared, nervous or lazy.

So what I figured out was that getting my life together was actually quite easy, the only thing I needed to do, was follow the decisions I knew was right, regardless of if I was scared, nervous or lazy and regardless of how hard it would be.

So that is what I did, and I went from a nervous skinny guy afraid to even leave his room to getting my own apartment, getting a girlfriend, getting a fit body, doing something about my ED and hairloss and started going to law school. It took some time but since I always knew what decision was right, all I needed to do really was follow my own mind.

:bravo:

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Oh it's not about being practical and/or reasoning through it. I"m not naive or dumb. I'm actually quite bright and have always been so. I am also the type of person who almost always "gets through" situations.

It just does not apply when it comes to things that bother me on an emotional level. I know what I "should do". Has nothing to do with that. But I mean until being bald does not bother me, I wont be able to deal with it. It's how I am with things.

 

[Felk]

Oh it's not about being practical and/or reasoning through it. I"m not naive or dumb. I'm actually quite bright and have always been so. I am also the type of person who almost always "gets through" situations.

It just does not apply when it comes to things that bother me on an emotional level. I know what I "should do". Has nothing to do with that. But I mean until being bald does not bother me, I wont be able to deal with it. It's how I am with things.

Yes it does you're just not taking responsibility for how your reactions and emotions. Letting your emotions control you and then saying "it has nothing to do with that" is just denial. Not the mark of someone who "gets through" situations at all.

If you're the type of person who gets through situations you'd get through this. Hair loss is no different from anything else. You keep saying it is and declaring there's nothing you can do about it. That's hopeless and defeatist. And plain wrong.

If you look back through your posts you'll see you've received lot's of practical advice from different people, suggestion after suggestion, and you've just denied and dismissed it all. The previous poster just described his story of how he overcame a situation just like yours through being reasonable, and you just dismissed his whole story with "oh it's not about being practical..." Sensitive people with worse situations have posted and you still cling to the idea that there's nothing you can do about it.

If you want to change your problems, there are plenty of things you can do. This is a fact. Until you're ready to accept your role in fixing your problems, there's no advice that can help you.

 

[s.a.f]

until being bald does not bother me, I wont be able to deal with it. It's how I am with things.

Well theres really nothing you can do then.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Felk, everything I have said has been 100 percent accurate. It depends on what I want. I'm the type of person who lets say starts a puzzle or game, i HAVE TO finish it. When I play sports, I want to do it the best I can. That sort of thing.

What I have to go through (pain and injuries, digestive issues) to stay in shape would be too much for 95 percent of people. That is what I mean.

Its just when it comes to this emotional stuff, I'm like a "deer in the headlights" type, you know what i mean?

I am not dismissing things. I am being honest that either a) i have tried it a bunch of times already or b) I have thought about it and it hasn't worked. I have been going through this for many years. I started posting here less than a month ago or something. Do you really think any of the suggestions were things I haven't thought about already? Cmon!

Which is the point of this post here. How do you feel confident about something when you just don't? I was staring at my head for an hour today and it just made me feel so damn ugly.

 

[Eureka]

I dunno, I guess it's just in you. You can let it rule your life, or you can choose not to allow it so much control. I do understand what your saying and how truly bothered you are by the appearance of your hairloss. But still mate, No one just magically wakes up one day or at least most don't, and suddenly they are able to overcome their hairloss adversity. It's willpower it's whatever you wanna call it, But it is in everyone. You Just have to take charge of sh*t and not let it rule you.

Easier said then done of course, but that's really all there is to it, theres no secret potion, it's all you and how you decide to live.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Oh I definnitely don't disagree with you. I don't expect someone else to change how I feel. But I did expect, with time, these feelings would subside and they have not. All other things, like many many many injuries I have had, they stink at first but you learn to live with them. But that is just pain. It's not "embarrassing" as this is, I guess would be the right way to see it.

But I do believe some people (especially those who are only balding and have no idea how this feels to just lose it all in 1 year) live in this glass box where you can just shut off how you feel. The ONLY thing worse than the life I have been having is me sitting in some job, in front of people, while still feeling this way. I'll either get sick from all the worry or really flip out on someone and do something bad.

 

[Eureka]

I get that, Most hairloss is gradual, People have time to come to terms to what is in some cases inevitable. In the past more so then today though. But your saying it all went in one year? From just typical male pattern baldness?

You mentioned not wanting to go to shrink or whatever, because they basically tell you what you already know. But I think for some people their is wisdom in talking to someone, aside from someone on a forum about their situation. You may see things in a different light, The way your talking it sounds as if maybe you will never fully be happy with your appearance, But you may learn to feel more comfortable in public places. Sometimes people can tell you things you already know, yet you come to new conclusions by hearing them.

I guess I don't know, but in your situation I would take a chance on anything, better to try then to not try at all and never know.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Well I had minor crown thinning for a year. But no one could tell as my hair was longish and I could cover it. From that point, in a year, I went to a NW6. It was unbelievable. Yes it is male pattern baldness. All the males in my family (from photos I have seen, never met them) are bald. It's in the male pattern baldness shape. And it's never come back lol.

Well I did the therapy. I went to a bunch of them over this time for various reasons. I went to one for over a year every week. Talking is ok. But my problem has never been talking about how I feel. I can do that. But there are no words, it seems that make these feelings go away. I mean for me not to care, I just have to not care at all about what I look like.

I saw a guy today. He was very pale, my height and bald. I was in shock. I honestly thought he might have cancer, but I looked closely and he had eyebrows. But he stood out. I saw another guy with less balding, darker skin and he looked good with it. I think the look does work with some people. And it doesn't at all with others.

I agree about taking a chance on anything. I should probably volunteer to be a guinea pig for all these "cure" companies lol.

 

[ITNEVERRAINS]

HP91, I am the same way, everything, including my hairloss, was/is a competition. I live to compete. I can make anything a contest. Once I got my first hair transplant, I knew my path. I am "seeing is believing" for hair transplant. I know for some this may not be an option, but for me taking 9 pills and using foam twice a day and worrying about side effects wasn't an option. I am a strong advocate for hair transplant. I say if there is a regimen for male pattern baldness, congrats to the guy that figures it out. I'll start the regimen shortly afterwards to add volume to already full head of hair. His "I told you so" will be openly welcomed.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Where were you on the Norwood scale INR, before you got work done?