Cool Smoke's jokes

[CoolSmoke]

Hi, I'm 46 years old and I'm a virgin. Throughout my adulthood I have been depressed about being a virgin. But that's coming to an end!

I have a NW5-NW6 hairline, but I'm not going to let that bother me anymore. I've been just getting into PUA and I can't believe how stupid I was for thinking that just because I was ugly and short or old or bald meant that I can't have sex with beautiful girls. I have a degree already, but starting in Spring I am re-enrolling in college. I'm going to shave my head and wear sunglasses and sit in the back of the class. I'm no longer a nerd like I was in my 20s. I'm going to be one of the cool kids. I have even chosen a new name I am going to start calling myself: Cool Smoke. It makes me seem mysterious and keeps girls interested.

My plan is to a party and make some male friends who are 18-19. These guys are going to be my "bros". Having friends in the 18-19 range makes girls less likely to turn me down for being old because they will view me as hip for having young friends. Once I am in their social circle and really good friends with them, I will start going clubbing and to parties with them, and I will meet girls this way. I plan to have sex with at least 5 college aged girls before the semester is over. Hopefully more.

Moderator notice: Please keep all your posts of this nature within this one thread.

 

[Giiizmo]

Cool story, brah. Happy sargin' 'n stuff. :notroll

 

[Waterloosunset]

Well let me first say that I suspect you are trolling, but I'm going to give a serious response. So, that plan is apsalutely embarrassingly ridiculous. If I were you I would just consider hiring a prostitute, maybe get a mail order bride.

 

[g.i joey]

Don't call yourself cool smoke. Don't hang out with 19 year olds and don't go to clubs thay don't consist of your agegroup
How could u be a virgin though I mean just online dating could get ANYONE laid

 

[Rudiger]

Inspirational story Cool Smoke, especially after you tear some mad pussy brah.

 

[g.i joey]

I knew it was a troll thread but something tells me this man is telling a story Thats not too far off from his actual life, at the same time I stand by that online dating statement haha

 

[Waterloosunset]

What are you saying?! He shouldn't give up hope!

There are plenty of women out there who would give a 46 year old bald virgin a chance.

You shouldn't tell people to give up. You're basically telling him to give up on life, because he's bald. It's absurd.

OP, having confidence here is what is important here.

Listen man, if your 46 and a virgin unless it's a choice I'd say you struggle soicially. I mean I'm a 20 year old who hasn't even kissed a person and I know people who are even less attractive that have had success in relationships. I just happen to be a soicially inept loser who has maybe a 20% chance of having a soulmate one day, some people are just different.

 

[Jimbo5]

A "socially inept loser", eh

And desperately trying to save your hair at age 20, to boot

Sounds like you've been dealt a pretty lousy hand there, Waterloo

Good luck man...

 

[CaptainForehead]

One of my friends is 27, a very social guy, the funniest guy I know, a lawyer, but he's extremely ugly.

And believe me, he tried, many times, and boy did he lower his standards, until he tried obese women.

The female friends we have in common have made fun of him for even trying. Like "What was he thinking?!"

And even the obese women rejected him?

 

[Waterloosunset]

I was a virgin until the age of 21.

All I had to do was try, and I got laid as soon as I tried, while still being shy and awkward as f-ck.

Women will overlook almost any behavioral flaw if you have the looks, because they're all that matters. Human mating, like for any mammal is 100% about outward appearance.

If you're in that position now at 20, just try, through your social circle (if you have one), at school/work. Just simply ask the girl: "Would you like to get a drink sometime?

If you do that fifty times, and all the women say no, you can stop there. It's not your confidence, it's not your social ineptness, it's just that you're not good-looking enough.

It will save you from a lot of heartache and false hope.

Saying being a 46 year old virgin is a choice is an insult to all the guys out there who are really struggling.

One of my friends is 27, a very social guy, the funniest guy I know, a lawyer, but he's ugly as f-ck.

And believe me, he tried, many times, and boy did he lower his standards until he tried obese girls.

The female friends we have in common have made fun of him for even trying. Like "What was he thinking?!"

If you read closely I said "unless it's a choice" because there are people who choose to never have sex, I didn't say he was making that choice. I hate to even talk about this type of thing in detail but I'll list some things that make it hard for me to connect with people.

1. I have a neurological issue called NVLD that makes it hard for me to process things visually, this includes things like soicial cues. This leads to all kinds of confusion during soicial interactions and everyday activities. NVLD is comparable to Aspeegers in a lot of ways.

2. I have a deformed hand that is functional enough to use for practical things, but of course it's pretty repulsive.

3. I am a person with below average looks, not horrible but pretty bad.

Honestly I feel like I don't even lack confidence most of the time when I'm around people, I just lack the ability to naturally converse with people.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

I have even chosen a new name I am going to start calling myself: Cool Smoke. It makes me seem mysterious and keeps girls interested.

I would try an even cooler name like Gray Bush. Almost sounds like a super hero.

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I'm going to shave my head and wear sunglasses and sit in the back of the class.

Don't forget to grow out your goatee, hit the gym, and get a tan. Tattoo's are also a must.

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I knew it was a troll thread but something tells me this man is telling a story Thats not too far off from his actual life

Yup.

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And even the obese women rejected him?

I wouldn't doubt this at all, especially if he tried online dating. Obese women also set their standards very high.

 

[Rudiger]

This is kind of funny but the impression I get from obese women (it's hard to explain how I have this impression as I've barely gotten to know any that well) is that all things that are rare have value, and plenty of weird guys want to bury their face in a massive women's flabby parts, but massive women aren't common and therefore have value.

There's a sense to it, but it's also laughable.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Yes, not only that, but one of the obese girls made fun of him in her social circle because he dared to even think he had a chance with her.

He confessed it to me after a few beers, you could feel he was so heartbroken from it, he couldn't have imagined a girl could even do that.

The cruelty of women never ceases to amaze me. Reject a dude, fine. But make fun of him?

(This is also what is stopping me from approaching the workplace girl).

 

[Rudiger]

I think an odd trend that's becoming more apparent, and probably a social change, is that men these days are probably more empathetic and emotional than women are. Women are ****ing cruel, about men, about other women, and live behind this facade that they're the more sensitive gender, absolutely not.

I know a woman in her mid 30's who has an 8 year old boy, and she just keeps talking about this "minger" girl who is his friend, and she's all worried about him ending up with this (verbatim here) "fat b**ch", she's talking about a child here, I mean seriously?

 

[TransientHair]

Hi, I'm 46 years old and I'm a virgin. Throughout my adulthood I have been depressed about being a virgin. But that's coming to an end!

I have a NW5-NW6 hairline, but I'm not going to let that bother me anymore. I've been just getting into PUA and I can't believe how stupid I was for thinking that just because I was ugly and short or old or bald meant that I can't have sex with beautiful girls. I have a degree already, but starting in Spring I am re-enrolling in college. I'm going to shave my head and wear sunglasses and sit in the back of the class. I'm no longer a nerd like I was in my 20s. I'm going to be one of the cool kids. I have even chosen a new name I am going to start calling myself: Cool Smoke. It makes me seem mysterious and keeps girls interested.

My plan is to a party and make some male friends who are 18-19. These guys are going to be my "bros". Having friends in the 18-19 range makes girls less likely to turn me down for being old because they will view me as hip for having young friends. Once I am in their social circle and really good friends with them, I will start going clubbing and to parties with them, and I will meet girls this way. I plan to have sex with at least 5 college aged girls before the semester is over. Hopefully more.

Good luck, Cool Smoke. Just shave it bro and then throw in a bit of nofap and you'll be good to go.

 

[Rudiger]

Finally some positivity! The nofap will give off the scent of desperation, which is proven scientifically to put women "in heat", basically Cool Smoke will be a walking Lynx commercial.

 

[EvilLocks]

What are you saying?! He shouldn't give up hope!

There are plenty of women out there who would give a 46 year old bald virgin a chance.

You shouldn't tell people to give up. You're basically telling him to give up on life, because he's bald. It's absurd.

OP, having confidence here is what is important here.

I'm sensing some sarcasm there, Fred. Especially the last sentence lol.

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(This is also what is stopping me from approaching the workplace girl).

No pain no gain. Simple as that.

 

[EvilLocks]

You have to take into account that pain here could mean getting fired for Captain.

If she's his boss/superior then maybe, yes.

 

[Giiizmo]

If she's his boss/superior then maybe, yes.

It seems you're not acquainted with American corporate culture and sexual harassment laws. In extreme cases even a simple compliment to a woman is grounds for dismissal.

Also, can't believe we're having a somewhat serious discussion in a troll thread. :hairy:

 

[EvilLocks]

It seems you're not acquainted with American corporate culture and sexual harassment laws. In extreme cases even a simple compliment to a woman is grounds for dismissal.

Also, can't believe we're having a somewhat serious discussion in a troll thread. :hairy:

Of course I'm not, I'm Norwegian.

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People here date people they work with all the time. If it's a good idea or not, is another story.