Don't even know what to do anymore. Totally lost

shoegazing

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I've already posted here but my hair situation at those times was better than it currently is. For some background info, there are some details about my relatives:

- father full head of hair; don't know about his father, never met him, never seen pictures of him either;
- maternal grandfather; kid you not, dude died at the age of 78 with basically an afro. nw0, and washed his damn hair with a soap bar.
- maternal uncle; has a big forehead but it's not receding.
- paternal uncle; same as my father, full head of hair
- maternal grandmother; doesn't have hair loss
- mother; doesn't have hair loss

My hair loss paranoia started in 2018 (was 18 at the time), paying attention to my right temple. I tried to use coconut oil, thinking it would regrow the small patch. I applied all over the scalp, not only on the temple. Result: had some kind of fungal infection and lost tons of hair. Turns out the damn thing's been like that since I was a child. My hairline naturally sucks, but I'm not receding. I don't have a big forehead either, just an ugly hairline, what made me rock a long hair for nearly 6 years. The following year I went to the derm and the motherfuc*** said my sebaceous glands were exploding, and recommended me finasteride and minoxidil. He didn't look my scalp with that sort of camera, just put a harsh light on it. And my hair back then wasn't even bad. I didn't take the medication. Found out later the guy does the same to various patients, forcing them to buy the medication at his own drugstore.

Anyway, what I lost I regrew considerably, but my scalp has never been the same. Itchy all the time and now I have to wash it every other day, otherwise I'll get bumps/pimples or acne. It all went downhill last year, when for some unknown reason my shedding became terrible. 140-200 hairs per wash, and as I said I wash every other day. I never touch my hair the day in between, but the strands I lose I sum them to what I lose in the shower + combing, which gets me those numbers. Went to a dermatologist in September and she used the camera. She said I had telogen effluvium and prescribed me some vitamins and ketoconazole. I only started using the latter late in december because I was too busy, and I'm just a college student, don't have much money. While the vitamins made the regrowth thicker, the ketoconazole fucked my hair. Made my itch worse, and look, I only used it once a week. With the same amount of shedding I decided to cut my hair last month. I used ketoconazole once again lately and it seems that I didn't learn the lesson. Itchy, shedding etc etc. I washed it yesterday with a mild shampoo after one day without washing it and got around 50 hairs. Half were from the top, probably. Today I decided to wash again and almost 40 hairs, and it's not even 24h since the last wash. Pathetic.

I don't even feel confident anymore, it looks so thin and wispy. I have had variation on thickness strands, some are thin, some are thic, some are medium, but I don't shed small strands. And when I say my scalp, it's all over, not only on top. I don't know if it means I'm miniaturizing but the real thing is, sh*t is really hard to swallow. No one bald, why me?! It's been like months since I was ''diagnosed'' with Telogen Effluvium and it still hasn't stopped. What the actual f***. Unfortunately at the moment I can not afford another derm, I live in a shithole country where everything is f*****g expensive. Maybe 2 months from now I can, but at this pace I'll have lost a considerably amount. I attached some pictures for you guys to see. I used to have more hair, it was kinda wavy/curly, but it looks awful now.

Any ideas on what to do? I'm lost. Seriously
 
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JaneyElizabeth

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I've already posted here but my hair situation at those times was better than it currently is. For some background info, there are some details about my relatives:

- father full head of hair; don't know about his father, never met him, never seen pictures of him either;
- maternal grandfather; kid you not, dude died at the age of 78 with basically an afro. nw0, and washed his damn hair with a soap bar.
- maternal uncle; has a big forehead but it's not receding.
- paternal uncle; same as my father, full head of hair
- maternal grandmother; doesn't have hair loss
- mother; doesn't have hair loss

My hair loss paranoia started in 2018 (was 18 at the time), paying attention to my right temple. I tried to use coconut oil, thinking it would regrow the small patch. I applied all over the scalp, not only on the temple. Result: had some kind of fungal infection and lost tons of hair. Turns out the damn thing's been like that since I was a child. My hairline naturally sucks, but I'm not receding. I don't have a big forehead either, just an ugly hairline, what made me rock a long hair for nearly 6 years. The following year I went to the derm and the motherfuc*** said my sebaceous glands were exploding, and recommended me finasteride and minoxidil. He didn't look my scalp with that sort of camera, just put a harsh light on it. And my hair back then wasn't even bad. I didn't take the medication. Found out later the guy does the same to various patients, forcing them to buy the medication at his own drugstore.

Anyway, what I lost I regrew considerably, but my scalp has never been the same. Itchy all the time and now I have to wash it every other day, otherwise I'll get bumps/pimples or acne. It all went downhill last year, when for some unknown reason my shedding became terrible. 140-200 hairs per wash, and as I said I wash every other day. I never touch my hair the day in between, but the strands I lose I sum them to what I lose in the shower + combing, which gets me those numbers. Went to a dermatologist in September and she used the camera. She said I had telogen effluvium and prescribed me some vitamins and ketoconazole. I only started using the latter late in december because I was too busy, and I'm just a college student, don't have much money. While the vitamins made the regrowth thicker, the ketoconazole fucked my hair. Made my itch worse, and look, I only used it once a week. With the same amount of shedding I decided to cut my hair last month. I used ketoconazole once again lately and it seems that I didn't learn the lesson. Itchy, shedding etc etc. I washed it yesterday with a mild shampoo after one day without washing it and got around 50 hairs. Half were from the top, probably. Today I decided to wash again and almost 40 hairs, and it's not even 24h since the last wash. Pathetic.

I don't even feel confident anymore, it looks so thin and wispy. I have had variation on thickness strands, some are thin, some are thic, some are medium, but I don't shed small strands. And when I say my scalp, it's all over, not only on top. I don't know if it means I'm miniaturizing but the real thing is, sh*t is really hard to swallow. No one bald, why me?! It's been like months since I was ''diagnosed'' with Telogen Effluvium and it still hasn't stopped. What the actual f***. Unfortunately at the moment I can not afford another derm, I live in a shithole country where everything is f*****g expensive. Maybe 2 months from now I can, but at this pace I'll have lost a considerably amount. I attached some pictures for you guys to see. I used to have more hair, it was kinda wavy/curly, but it looks awful now.

Any ideas on what to do? I'm lost. Seriously
Maybe lol but most folks can't plow through all of that text when it is turgid like that. I do that too sometimes when I am discouraged. Let's try this. Tell me how old, where you live if pertinent and what are your hair and life goals for the future: could be gay or only single or not thinking about those terms or just want to enjoy college or my rock band or what have you and then let me throw out some ideas.
 

Will Be an Egg in 5 years

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I'm not that social person on college, but my hair really boosted my confidence. I'm 20, brazilian, I'm not gay. Had a GF, she broke up with me recently. Can't see how it matters though
Po mano sou BR também. Sinceramente não vejo calvice, ainda mais levando em conta seu histórico. Pode ser homonal.

Sou diffuser thinner tbm, sei que as vezes não parece que está caindo mas está e tbm odeio quando falou que estou viajando. Mas pelas fotos não vejo nada, sério. É só o shedding ou vc sente ele mais fraco e fino tbm?
 

shoegazing

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Po mano sou BR também. Sinceramente não vejo calvice, ainda mais levando em conta seu histórico. Pode ser homonal.

Sou diffuser thinner tbm, sei que as vezes não parece que está caindo mas está e tbm odeio quando falou que estou viajando. Mas pelas fotos não vejo nada, sério. É só o shedding ou vc sente ele mais fraco e fino tbm?
Oi.... como eu disse ele parecia mais cheio e ondulado, não sei se é porque eu mal cuidava dele ou o quê...

Eu tenho fios de todos os tipos, finos, médios, grossos. Não apenas no topo, nos lados também. Não sei se esses finos e médios estão em processos de miniaturização, mas tentar pensar positivo é difícil. Tenho vivido a buscar e estudar coisas sobre cabelo, tem me prejudicado bastante na minha vida acadêmica. Acho que coloquei toda minha auto estima no cabelo e agora estou pagando. Mesmo tendo um corpo decente, não me vejo careca, ainda mais em uma família onde ninguém é
 

Hairs45

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you need to see a psychiatrist/therapist.. youre another one suffering from BDD

you have no hair loss or thinning whatsoever
 

Will Be an Egg in 5 years

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Oi.... como eu disse ele parecia mais cheio e ondulado, não sei se é porque eu mal cuidava dele ou o quê...

Eu tenho fios de todos os tipos, finos, médios, grossos. Não apenas no topo, nos lados também. Não sei se esses finos e médios estão em processos de miniaturização, mas tentar pensar positivo é difícil. Tenho vivido a buscar e estudar coisas sobre cabelo, tem me prejudicado bastante na minha vida acadêmica. Acho que coloquei toda minha auto estima no cabelo e agora estou pagando. Mesmo tendo um corpo decente, não me vejo careca, ainda mais em uma família onde ninguém é
Ah o comecinho é assim mesmo, então deve ser calvice. O meu é mistura de crespo/ondulado. Quando ficava grande e penteado pra frente formava umas ondas duras. Conforme foi afinando elas foram sumindo, agora não forma quase nenhuma. Do lado e atrás tbm ta afinando e cheio de falhas, eu devo ter DUPA. Mas no meu caso eu tenho vários calvos na familia. O ideal é vc fazer exame pra ver se não é hormonal. Ontem cortei o meu e ficou uma bosta. Passando a mão em cima eu consigo sentir os "buracos" onde o cabelo não ta crescendo ou tá fino, mesmo não dando pra ver isso em fotos ou espelho.

É uma desgraça e eu to enlouquecendo. Não me vejo careca tbm, nem fodendo. E olha que eu usei buzzcut boa parte da vida.
 
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