DWI

[BlahBlah12]

a few months ago i am ashamed to say that i received one. some people take it lightly when they get one or dont think its such a big deal, but i am devastated. i am so ashamed of myself and depressed over it.

let me back up though, a while back i received an injury to my kidneys and liver while playing football with friends. i was bleeding internally for days, pissing blood, and developed a 104 fever. Fast forward to a saturday night with a friend i had met up with and i had 2 beers while waiting for her to arrive. i stayed at the place for about 4 hours. on the way out, i figured more than enough time had passed for me to drive us back around a few blocks to a friends place. well, i got pulled over.

i knew the cop was going to arrest me because the girl i was with was drunk. he asked if i drank and like an idiot, i told him the truth, 2 beers earlier in the evening. Ive seen friends pass breathalyzers after consuming 4 pitchers, how can 2 or 3 beers over the course of a 4 hour evening possibly still be in my system even if i was breathalyzed? boy was i wrong. long story short, i was given 10 different breathalyzer tests because they were having problems with the machine, and had to move locations. the reading was insane because of all the problems and made no sense which was why it was thrown out in court(not exactly thrown out but reduced)but still to even have any kind of reading i realized that the damage to my kidney and liver left me with compromised function of the organs causing alcohol to be excreted slower than a normal person. I wish I had put two and two together before i stepped foot in the car but i wish a lot of things in my life went differently.

Anyways, i lost my license for 3 months(the standard for a BAC of .08-.09) Its not the license i care about, its that i now have a dwi on my record. i am so angry at myself and although i didnt consume enough alcohol over the course of that night to warrant what i got, i have learned my lesson to never touch alcohol and get in my car. I cant believe I have to worry about having a beer or two and will not now if i go on a date or meet up for dinner but thats just how it has to be for me. I am so incredibly worried about my future...i feel as though i am beyond a loser and i wont let anyone know what happened to me because i am so ashamed of myself. How will i ever get a career now with this on my record? i feel like my life is over, i truly do...i have almost mentally checked out, i have no more dreams, no more confidence, all my goals are now too far away to ever achieve. i know how it could have been worse and how i have learned my lesson and i never want to ever put someone else in jeapordy but i cant believe i will go my entire life now with this stain eventhough the night wasn't even a night spent "drinking". :sobbing:

 

[beaner]

How will i ever get a career now with this on my record?

Long story short, I had a similar situation years ago. Did you get a DWI or a DWAI? It sounds like with your b.a.c. and the fact that it was a first offense, it was only a DWAI (Driving While Ability Impaired) which is only considered a moving violation and shouldn't show up on backround checks or affect you getting a job. (unless perhaps the job involved driving) I live in NY state, but you may want to check regarding your state's laws regarding this. If it's similar to NY you should have nothing to worry about as far as your career---no one will ever know.

We all make stupid mistakes at times---however, this won't be one you'd want to make again.

 

[BlahBlah12]

How will i ever get a career now with this on my record?

Long story short, I had a similar situation years ago. Did you get a DWI or a DWAI? It sounds like with you b.a.c. it's only a DWAI (Driving While Ability Impaired) which is only considered a moving violation and will not show up on any backround checks and shouldn't affect you getting a job. (unless perhaps the job involved driving) I live in NY state, but you may want to check regarding your state's laws regarding this. If it's similar to NY you should have nothing to worry about as far as your career---no one will ever know.

We all make stupid mistakes at times---however, this won't be one you'd want to make again.

yea we dont have that over here, we have DWI or DUI.
dwi i guess is the less extreme but it will show up on background checks

 

[beaner]

How will i ever get a career now with this on my record?

Long story short, I had a similar situation years ago. Did you get a DWI or a DWAI? It sounds like with you b.a.c. it's only a DWAI (Driving While Ability Impaired) which is only considered a moving violation and will not show up on any backround checks and shouldn't affect you getting a job. (unless perhaps the job involved driving) I live in NY state, but you may want to check regarding your state's laws regarding this. If it's similar to NY you should have nothing to worry about as far as your career---no one will ever know.

We all make stupid mistakes at times---however, this won't be one you'd want to make again.

yea we dont have that over here, we have DWI or DUI.
dwi i guess is the less extreme but it will show up on background checks

Where are you from? I guess I assumed you were in the US. Just curious--I know some other countries are very harsh with drinking and driving.

 

[BlahBlah12]

Where are you from? I guess I assumed you were in the US. Just curious--I know some other countries are very harsh with drinking and driving.

no you were right, im american but all states are different with regards to penalties and charges
i can never get into canada unless i apply for some "pardon" but i would take being rejected my entire life from entering canada if it meant not carrying around this scarlet letter with me for life

 

[Cassin]

I work in auto insurance and I have had friends have this happen. I have a lot of experience with this.

You can do fine with one but you better do a huge amount of damage control and never pull the "I only had a couple beers" BS in a job interview. They won't believe it. Everyone says that. Be 100% honest with everything and just say you screwed up.

I suggest just stopping alcohol forever. You better never get a second one or a public intox or your life is basically over.

At this point companies will want proof you're a good guy...I suggest United Way and Habitat for Humanity charity time as those two groups have huge corporate and government ties and are well respected. It will look great on the resume and you will do some good while you clean up your imagine.

Just imagine it...in a job interview when it comes up and can say "I grew up and replaced hanging out with the guys at a bar time with building houses. Plus it got rid of my beer belly" Creates a good laugh, proof your responsible and diffuses the black mark.

 

[BlahBlah12]

I work in auto insurance and I have had friends have this happen. I have a lot of experience with this.

You can do fine with one but you better do a huge amount of damage control and never pull the "I only had a couple beers" BS in a job interview. They won't believe it. Everyone says that. Be 100% honest with everything and just say you screwed up.

I suggest just stopping alcohol forever. You better never get a second one or a public intox or your life is basically over.

At this point companies will want proof you're a good guy...I suggest United Way and Habitat for Humanity charity time as those two groups have huge corporate and government ties and are well respected. It will look great on the resume and you will do some good while you clean up your imagine.

Just imagine it...in a job interview when it comes up and can say "I grew up and replaced hanging out with the guys at a bar time with building houses. Plus it got rid of my beer belly" Creates a good laugh, proof your responsible and diffuses the black mark.

thanks cassin for the reassuring words. i will say whatever i have to but i dont know what else to tell them besides what i just wrote being thats my situation. i dont want to sound cliche' but i dont want to sound like an a**h** with the intention of drinking and then driving back to his destination because that wasnt my case nor what the arresting police officer attested to in court. my case was actually a special one which is why it was given the sentence of someone who had 2 beers and drove. i ruined myself by telling the truth to the officer because it destroyed any chance of dismissal. To anyone reading this: admitting two beers over the course of an evening is a death sentence when put on a police report.

also, i owe some money obviously. i would love to do charity work but i need to keep this crap job i have right now because at least its paying back my attorney and the department of motor vehicles. how do i do both? please advise man i wanna die, i really want to just die

 

[Cassin]

also, i owe some money obviously. i would love to do charity work but i need to keep this crap job i have right now because at least its paying back my attorney and the department of motor vehicles. how do i do both? please advise man i wanna die, i really want to just die

you're going to be fine as long as you prove its behind you and it never happens again.

I have a buddy who has a killer gig doing IT stuff at a radio station who has a DWI. Another is a manager at a nice restaurant.

Anyway...you can do charity work once a month.. You can find time for that. I am telling ya...you have to prove you're a good guy and not some f*ck up drunk. People who hire are human..they just need convincing. The good thing about a huge charity like United Way is there is a million jobs that they need help with. You can set up traffic cones in a parking lot one day and then a month later sit at a table passing out fliers at a charity walk. Summer is huge for charity events. You need to have something on your resume that says you're a good guy otherwise you're just another dumbass who got a DWI they will ignore. Charity work won't solve everything but you need to do something good they can read about before they dismiss you.

Take a deep breath...relax...you'll be fine you just need to work a little harder to stand up and dust yourself off. Its not like you got a felony hit & run.

As long as you don't f*ck up again.

 

[Cassin]

We all make stupid mistakes at times---however, this won't be one you'd want to make again.

^ this is the key...you can never let this happen again and you will be ok. Never...ever....ever...let this happen again. You need to forget alcohol exists.

 

[Cassin]

Interesting topic and I got side tracked and now I am late heading out..lol...

I will check this thread again when I get home...breathe easy man. You can get past this.

 

[BlahBlah12]

thank you so much cassin.. i was and still am to a degree, wishing sometimes i wont wake up but you and beaner have helped eased my intense depression and fears a little.

i prayed so much that i would be able to get a good job and move out to the city where i would never have to deal with driving. i prayed for months and months before this incident even hapepned because i knew having to drive everywhere i went because i couldnt find a job and lived at home would add constant unncessary risks ie: just being harrassed by cops because im the only car on the road at 2am going home.

that prayer has yet to be answered

 

[ClayShaw]

I've never heard of it being an issue with employment, unless you want to be a truck driver.
Don't get any more, or your insurance will be really, really bad. But you already knew that.
My brother has one and it's never come up in a job interview.
Our last president had one.
I would say as long as no one got hurt, you're ok. That guy that killed the Angles pitcher recently will not end up ok.
Its definitely not the end of the world.

Forgot to say...
I definitely agree with Cassin that in the event that it does come up in an interview, the worst thing you could say would be "I only had a couple". Admit you made a mistake, try to reinforce the idea that you're not a drunk, and you made a big mistake once and learned from it, and you should be fine.
Also, the fact that it depresses you tells me that you're taking responsibility for it, and the chances of it happening again are 0.
I don't agree that you need to never drink again. If you don't have a problem, and all you did was f*** up once... No reason not to admit your mistake (to yourself) and carry on as you were.

 

[CCS]

I have friends who drink and drive every day. I refuse to drive with them, and they take offense at my not showing approval. They say as long as they only have 2 or 3 beers, and wait 30 minutes to an hour before driving, it is OK. They say they'd never drive slobbering drunk and are offended that I put the two in the same category. I keep asking them what is so hard about going out with 4 friends and rotating DD duty. I don't understand why they have to drink EVERY night. 4 nights out of 5 should be good enough, and they can DD for friends on the 5th.

Well, many drinkers tell me that only 6% of car crashes are alcohol related, and that most are caused by cell phones or falling asleep at the wheel. They tell me that drinkers who drive are a singled out minority and that it is not fair. One of my coworkers is actually going to court right now because his BAC was 0.08. He feels the cops are giving him a hard time and he does not deserve what they are giving him. It is his 3rd one though. Drinkers also tell me that most people driving on the streets have been drinking, even during the day time, and that the whole DUI thing is rediculous unless someone is flat out drunk.

Well, that is why I try not to drive more than I have to, and I stay away from downtown after 10pm, if I'm on the road at all at that hour. I can't change people, but I can avoid danger. Same goes with going to bars sober. Many people get in fights at bars. Not every night or even close. But most adults don't fist fight, except when they are at bars. One of my coworkers is going to court soon because he got in a fight a week ago. He has scabs on his nose. When I drink, I just invite some trusted friends over to my house. I don't like to drink at bars because that is just asking for a fight sometimes.

 

[ClayShaw]

I have friends who drink and drive every day. I refuse to drive with them, and they take offense at my not showing approval. They say as long as they only have 2 or 3 beers, and wait 30 minutes to an hour before driving, it is OK. They say they'd never drive slobbering drunk and are offended that I put the two in the same category. I keep asking them what is so hard about going out with 4 friends and rotating DD duty. I don't understand why they have to drink EVERY night. 4 nights out of 5 should be good enough, and they can DD for friends on the 5th.

Well, many drinkers tell me that only 6% of car crashes are alcohol related, and that most are caused by cell phones or falling asleep at the wheel. They tell me that drinkers who drive are a singled out minority and that it is not fair. One of my coworkers is actually going to court right now because his BAC was 0.08. He feels the cops are giving him a hard time and he does not deserve what they are giving him. It is his 3rd one though. Drinkers also tell me that most people driving on the streets have been drinking, even during the day time, and that the whole DUI thing is rediculous unless someone is flat out drunk.

Well, that is why I try not to drive more than I have to, and I stay away from downtown after 10pm, if I'm on the road at all at that hour. I can't change people, but I can avoid danger. Same goes with going to bars sober. Many people get in fights at bars. Not every night or even close. But most adults don't fist fight, except when they are at bars. One of my coworkers is going to court soon because he got in a fight a week ago. He has scabs on his nose. When I drink, I just invite some trusted friends over to my house. I don't like to drink at bars because that is just asking for a fight sometimes.

If they're really only having 2 or 3, and they're spaced out enough (i.e. not 2 or 3 in an hour), they may very well be under the limit. 2 beers in 2 hours is under the limit, and is a long way from driving drunk.

 

[Old Baldy]

Yeah CCS, ClayShaw has a good point. It doesn't appear that your friends are getting into the dangerous category IMHO.

Tidbit: I have a couple of cop friends. They both have said the core hours are 11:00pm to 3:00am. They look for men driving alone, or with only other men, and assume there is a strong likelihood those men might have been drinking.

The cops also said, "you better drive properly, don't weave, use turn signals all the time and stay within the speed limit......or else!!" (You get what I mean.)

Oh, and MAKE SURE you don't have a headlight or tail light out. REPLACE those burned out light bulbs!!!!!

 

[ClayShaw]

Yeah CCS, ClayShaw has a good point. It doesn't appear that your friends are getting into the dangerous category IMHO.

Tidbit: I have a couple of cop friends. They both have said the core hours are 11:00pm to 3:00am. They look for men driving alone, or with only other men, and assume there is a strong likelihood those men might have been drinking.

The cops also said, "you better drive properly, don't weave, use turn signals all the time and stay within the speed limit......or else!!" (You get what I mean.)

Oh, and MAKE SURE you don't have a headlight or tail light out. REPLACE those burned out light bulbs!!!!!

Never drive with a light out drunk. Ever. My brother learned that lesson the hard way.