I don't know what it is, but I feel that I've aways put people off by saying the wrong things or acting the wrong way. It's not THAT bad; I do have a lot of quality friends and I go out a lot. But I also know that I've somehow pissed off people without meaning to. Sometimes I'll sound sarcastic without any intention to do so. And sometimes, at a gathering, I'll be contemplating something and people may take that as me being aloof/bored. I know at least 3 ex-friends have consciously cut ties with me, and I have no idea what had happened.
It's not like I'm an angry, manipulative loser who's out to screw with people. I try to be thoughtful and considerate, but somehow I still manage to screw it up. And dates! There's always some instance in which I say something off-putting or passive-aggressive-sounding.
Take this instance for example:
I met up with a date at this bar/lounge that I frequent. We made plans to go to a concert afterwards. Right as we were about to leave for the concert she says she needed to go to the bathroom. She goes off, but comes back saying she couldn't find it. It was understandable since the bathroom at the lounge is situated at some obscure, far-off part of the building. I tell her I'll take her there, so she follows me and says "I'm so sorry for holding things up." I say it's alright, and as we're going through a series of hallways to get to the bathroom, I mutter "this is such a hassle." I meant it as a joke about how ridiculously hard it was to get to the bathroom, not that I was irritated with having to lead her there. At some point during the concert i realized she may have misconstrued what I'd said. So afterwards I awkwardly brought up the subject and she revealed that, yes, she thought I was irritated. So it was a big relief that I got it cleared up and we laughed about it afterwards.
Unfortunately, I don't always catch my slip-ups, and I know that it's affected me socially in one way or another. It's even gotten to the point where I wonder if I have borderline Asperger's or something. Anyone else share my experience? Do I sound totally paranoid?
It's not like I'm an angry, manipulative loser who's out to screw with people. I try to be thoughtful and considerate, but somehow I still manage to screw it up. And dates! There's always some instance in which I say something off-putting or passive-aggressive-sounding.
Take this instance for example:
I met up with a date at this bar/lounge that I frequent. We made plans to go to a concert afterwards. Right as we were about to leave for the concert she says she needed to go to the bathroom. She goes off, but comes back saying she couldn't find it. It was understandable since the bathroom at the lounge is situated at some obscure, far-off part of the building. I tell her I'll take her there, so she follows me and says "I'm so sorry for holding things up." I say it's alright, and as we're going through a series of hallways to get to the bathroom, I mutter "this is such a hassle." I meant it as a joke about how ridiculously hard it was to get to the bathroom, not that I was irritated with having to lead her there. At some point during the concert i realized she may have misconstrued what I'd said. So afterwards I awkwardly brought up the subject and she revealed that, yes, she thought I was irritated. So it was a big relief that I got it cleared up and we laughed about it afterwards.
Unfortunately, I don't always catch my slip-ups, and I know that it's affected me socially in one way or another. It's even gotten to the point where I wonder if I have borderline Asperger's or something. Anyone else share my experience? Do I sound totally paranoid?
