ginald's story

[ginald]

hi all you fellow sufferers and baldies,

well i guess this site is about 20 years too late for me as that is how long i have lived with first balding and then being bald.
not that it would have saved my hair but at least i would have had other guys to talk to.
i'm sure it would have helped. instead i picked my own way through it and (think) i came out the other side.
it's a long arduous journey and reading the comments of so many of you, i feel so sorry for you since only fellow baldies know what it's like.
it's tough and it's humbling and it can crush the spirit from you...seriously.
it can become all pervading. a total obsession.

well, i'll finish here. just wanted to say something to kick start my first post.
you'll be hearing more.

good luck to you all...but most of all god bless and may you all find some inner peace.
the clue to it all, (and not just being bald), is that 99% of life is a distraction from the reality.
you WILL have to look within yourself.

 

[Boru]

I totally understand your point of view. It is interesting though to have been totally bald for over 20 years, and after 19 months have some new hair, and more on the way. What started out as an experiment has become routine, not quite an obsession.
However, it is not inexpensive, and this is my personal choice. There is hope that an easier cure will come along in the next ten years, so I will keep waking up my dormant follicles.
Just thought you should know that it is possible to overcome even long term baldness, if you can be bothered with all the stuff.
My girlfriend and I started living together when I was totally shiny on top, and she has supported what could look like a silly hobby. It is amazing to have someone who believes in you, so in a way I dedicate my new hair to her. Just goes to show, an old dog can learn new tricks.
Good luck.
Boru

 

[ginald]

thanks boru.
yep, if all this stuff had been around when i first started losing it, i guess i'd have tried some.
however at norwood 7, it's too late for me.

question for you.....do you think we'd be bothered if all men progressively went bald and were all Norwood 7 at age 30??

i.e. is that we are too concerned about comparing ourselves to others?

 

[Siberian]

i.e. is that we are too concerned about comparing ourselves to others?

I'm always reminded of this old episode of Seinfeld...

Elaine was dating this guy who'd been shaving his head since he was young, not because he was balding, but just because he likes the clean look.

She saw an old picture of him when he had hair, and asked him to grow it out again. He reluctantly agreed to do it - for her.

Thing is, once he tried to let it grow, he realized that he had gone bald in the meantime... and freaked out. Got depressed, the whole deal.

But when it was a CHOICE, he was fine with it. Now that he was "bald," it crushed him.

I dunno, there's a lesson in there somewhere, lol...

 

[Johnny24601]

re:

If all men went bald around 30 then very very few would be taking stuff like finasteride. Dealing with male pattern baldness is tough because it is not the "norm" in society. It is different just like a hairy *** back. So you have some extra hair, why does 99% of the world think that is gross, I don't get it?
The other aspect that is tough to deal with for those with male pattern baldness is control. Many people get into a particular comfort zone with there day to day activities. When they have a problem with their health, their car or their home etc. they fix it, with male pattern baldness you have no control as hairs just keep disappearing.
Very hard, but male pattern baldness has given me far more perspective in my life.

 

[Boru]

thanks boru.
yep, if all this stuff had been around when i first started losing it, i guess i'd have tried some.
however at norwood 7, it's too late for me.

question for you.....do you think we'd be bothered if all men progressively went bald and were all Norwood 7 at age 30??

i.e. is that we are too concerned about comparing ourselves to others?

I was a Norwood 7, for twenty years! Maybe it isn't too late for you, it all depends if you are a "good responder".
If we all went bald by 30, maybe some kinds of women could have more to moan about, about all their boyfriends! Some good women don't care about hair, just about your inner qualities. Self obsessed girls who worry about the quality of hair on your head are more likely to want money in the bank, a big house, a fast car, how tall you are etc. and dump you for the next best mug. Personally, I'd rather have a woman who accepts me for who I am than trying to fit in with a beautiful woman's idea of what I should be. HOWEVER --- Having some new hair is a kind of miracle, I want to share with others, partly because my girlfriend is getting a kick out of seeing me happier.
Boru

 

[ginald]

thanks for the replies, guys.

i was particularly struck by the 'seinfeld' post and johnny24601 on 'control'

it's a very important point about having control or thinking you have control of yourself and your life, as any counsellor will tell you.

with male pattern baldness and your hair falling out in clumps, there is no more scarier and depressing realisation that you are not in control, do not have control and probably never were in control of your body.

further, to have the hairline of a 60 year old staring back at you every time you look in the mirror, when you are only 20 or 30, is an early wake call up to your own mortality.

to lose your hair is not a loss on the scale of, say, the loss of a loved one but it is a loss nonetheless and as i can testify, only too well, a very difficult loss to come to terms with.

and it is also blatantly obvious from the huge number of postings from devastated young men on this forum, that they too are experiencing that feeling of loss.

in fact gentlemen, you are GRIEVING and your grief actually needs to be worked through.

laugh if you will but it is true....yes i know it all seems so trivial to be so upset about the loss of some hairs on your head. yes, it's only cosmetic.
and yes you should look at all the poor kids in hospital who have life threatening diseases....but that only puts things in perspective until the next time you look in the mirror or the next time you think about chatting a girl up.

anybody else think, us baldies are in need of counselling?

 

[tchehov]

in fact gentlemen, you are GRIEVING and your grief actually needs to be worked through.

laugh if you will but it is true....yes i know it all seems so trivial to be so upset about the loss of some hairs on your head. yes, it's only cosmetic.
and yes you should look at all the poor kids in hospital who have life threatening diseases....but that only puts things in perspective until the next time you look in the mirror or the next time you think about chatting a girl up.

anybody else think, us baldies are in need of counselling?

Yes, I am grieving, but I'm done with counselling.

As for comparing baldness to poor dying kids etcetcetc, I don't know why people here do that - is it supposed to be comforting? Surely the point of comparison should be to look to the norm. There is no point in comparing a balding minority to a dying minority, no point in saying 'I'm balding, O well, at least I don't have a brain tumour.' It's Monty Python logic. You should compare yourself favourably or unfavourably with men of your own age in no special circumstances. And the truth is balding men will always compare unfavourable to their norm.

(Sorry, Ginald - I nosily looked up your first post which I do sometimes - frightful bad manners)

 

[Follically Challenged]

ginald, please do one or the other: change your "regimen" or shoot yourself.

Best,

FC