Boondock
Senior Member
- Reaction score
- 13
This is a rather long story, but I think it’s worth reading because – in my opinion at least – it gets to the heart of many of our troubles and the daily struggle we face with hair loss. This actually happened to me last night, and I have been trying to make sense of it all day today. In the end, I just felt the need to write it up so I could release the painful emotions I have associated with it. I really don’t know how to move on from this right now.
Soundtrack (1)
So a couple of weeks ago, I met a girl on OKCupid – let’s call her Isabella. I was sceptical about online dating at first, but after reading CCS’s success story I thought I’d give it a go. We got chatting, and then phoning, over the course of several days.
She was a few years older than me, and in my view out of my league – almost an 8 out of 10. She had medium-brown hair; her complexion, though, was of someone whose natural colour was red. She was extremely good looking though not ‘classically’ so, but there was something a little odd about her that I couldn’t pin down over the phone. Perhaps I was just nervous about talking to a stranger online. Perhaps I was just unsure why she’d be chatting to a guy like me.
But since I hadn’t done online dating before, I thought: why not? I had nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain. So I did the right thing and asked her out.
We went for dinner at an uptown Italian restaurant. It wasn’t the busiest of places, but you could tell from the layout and the décor that it was a high-quality establishment. There was a section of outside seating, backing out onto the waterfront by the river. Nice as this area was, we ended up being seated inside.
I ordered a risotto and a bottle of red wine, on account of the drink’s alleged anti-inflammatory properties I’d been reading about on immortalhair.com. The food was great, and the conversation was going brilliantly, but after just a couple of glasses I felt the need to go to the bathroom.
I got in, and relieved myself. It seemed to go on forever. I don’t know if you remember the scene from Austin Powers where the protagonist goes to urinate after having been cryogenically frozen, but it was like that. I’d taken too long slashing into the urinal already, and I needed to get back in and keep up the chat.
When I went to wash my hands, though, I was shocked.
I thought I’d covered up my hairline perfectly with dermmatch, but there was a clear balding area visible on the left side of my temporal recession.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
Foolishly, I hadn’t taken any dermmatch out with me, and all I had was my emergency travel-sized pack of toppik fibers. I pulled the fibers out of my back pocket and started to sprinkle.
If you’ve ever tried to apply toppik fibers to the hairline, you’ll know how difficult it is. I kept getting the toppik on my forehead, and had to scoop it back up into the temporal recession with some toilet roll. It was pretty messy.
(There was another guy who came in the bathroom when this was happening, but he didn’t say anything. He was Norwood 3v, so I assumed he knew what was up.)
I got it done, slipped the travel-sized toppik into my back pocket, and went back into the restaurant. I’d taken much longer than I should’ve done for a piss, but I sat down and didn’t say anything about it. I just carried on eating my food.
We sat in an awkward silence for almost a minute, and then she just came out and said it.
“I just can’t do this.â€
I was dumbstruck. The mood had suddenly changed.
“What? Why?â€, I said. I tried to get a quick glimpse of my reflection in the window to see if my temporal recession was visible, but I couldn’t see for sh*t.
“Look,†she said. “I should’ve told you this before, but I just couldn’t. The truth is, I’m married.â€
“What the hell?â€
“I wouldn’t have mentioned it,†she said, “but my husband knows we’re here. He has friends in the Italian restaurant business, and one of them must be working here tonight. I just got a text from my sister a minute ago, and she says he’s furious, and he’s on his way here now.â€
I suddenly felt a wave of dread overcome me, like when you drop ketchup onto your pants.
“But what’s worse,†she continued, “is that I think you knew we were married all along. And I think you wanted to use me to get in touch with my husband.â€
“What? Why the hell would I want that?â€
“To help you solve…â€
Then he walked in. All was silent. It was so quiet, you could hear a nanogen fiber drop. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. I recognized this man.
It was none other than Dr. Armani.
Soundtrack (2)
Dr Armani knew what was going on straight away. He glared at me like a poodle high on mescaline.
“I know what you’re all about!†said Armani. “You think you can mess around with MY wife. I can tell you don’t like hair loss, but let’s see how you like it when I turn you from a Norwood 3 into a Norwood Infinity!â€
Dr Armani looked straight at me, with a menacing look of rage in his eyes. He looked like a mad bull enraged, and I was the matador. I wanted to say ‘ole’, but all I could do was sh*t my pants.
From his suit breast pocket, he pulled out an FUE extraction device and then came running straight at me.
http://www.regrowshair.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/newtool.jpg
I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t believe what was happening. “You think you have a bad Norwood now? Just you wait, buddy!â€, he shouted as he drew near.
I was backed into a corner and he was getting closer. I didn’t know what else I could do, so I slotted my hand into my back pocket, reached for my toppik fibers, and just as he lunged at me with the FUE extraction device sprayed some black-brown fibers into his eyes.
“Arrrhghhâ€
Armani reeled and screamed out. He was even more angry now, and as I snuck out from the corner he threw plates and cups and glasses in every direction. He pushed over the table where I was sitting, and was back on his feet and running at me again. I backed up, fast.
He chased after me very quickly, and I tried to stand my ground. I Norwood bombed at him, and knocked him back, but he recovered in an instant. I didn’t want to expose my head with another Norwood-bomb, so I ran again. I knew I wouldn’t have much further to flee.
I was now outside on the railing against the waterfront. Armani was coming at me, with his FUE extraction device in tow. I had nowhere to go but the river, and I couldn’t dive in there because not only would it rub out my toppik fibers, but it would reveal my diffuse vertex thinning which is always obvious when I have wet hair. That would totally wreck my prospects with this girl.
But before I knew it Armani was on top of me. He rugby tackled me to the floor. I tried a few Norwood-butts, but it was no use. We were scrambling and fighting out by the waterfront, like cats wrestling over a pigeon’s ballsack, but he’d got me pinned down. I couldn’t do anything. He gripped his FUE extraction device and slowly was overpowering me, getting closer and closer to the point where he could tear out my follicles for good.
I was horrified. Why was this happening to me? I didn’t even know she was his wife!
And then I remembered. I had one final trick up my sleeve. One final throw of the dice. One secret weapon which could overpower Armani.
I reached into my pocket and grabbed it…
The Hairmax Laser Comb
I pulled out my laser comb and saw the expression on Armani’s face change from frenzy to surprise to fear. He wasn’t expecting this.
I forced him off of me and we commenced battle in the restaurant. Man against man; laser comb against FUE extraction device; surgery against experimental treatment.
It was mayhem.
I didn’t think I could win. I began to doubt the power of the laser, remembering criticisms raised by Spencer Kobren against the device. But then I remembered what my mentor had told me. I will never forget the day that omg showed me what was possible with a laser helmet, and the powers he achieved after wearing one at a young age.
I began to believe.
I realized then that I had in my possession the power of anti-inflammatory laser technology. I had this energy. It was mine to wield. I felt a surge of power run through me and cut through the brain-fog I was experiencing, and I overcame Dr. Armani’s FUE extraction device to strike him down with my Hairmax.
He went tumbling into the corner and collapsed like he’d been hit with finasteride side effects. All was silent now.
Soundtrack (3)
And there, where we were seated to begin with, lay Isabella in the corner table where we were sitting. She was trembling among the debris. I turned off my hairmax lasercomb.
But as I went in to comfort her, suddenly she looked at me aghast. She pointed at my head, and suddenly I saw the outline of my reflection in the window behind her.
I was looking manly and pumped, my face was red and my shirt was torn. But something else was wrong.
My toppik fibers had shaken out during the fight. My Norwood 3 with vertex thinning was plain for the whole restaurant to see.
The waiters and the bar staff all looked at my slick bald section, wide-eyed, mouths-gaping. No one said a word. They had expressions like they’d just found out Santa wasn’t real. All I could hear was Isabella’s sobbing.
“I can’t do this,†she said.
I felt broken.
“It’s because of my Norwood isn’t it?â€
“I….I….â€
“It’s my Norwood isn’t it? I knew it! Go on, tell me!â€
“I just, well…it’s just that…â€
“You have no idea how it feels. Every day I wake up and look at this Norwood in the mirror, and then look back at my pillow to see the lost hairs where it came from. You have no idea what it drains from your power, how it eats from your soul. And day after day I apply my revivogen and my hairmax, covered over with toppik and dermmatch, and despite all my efforts all I can see is it getting worse. You know NOTHING of this pain. You have as much understanding of this as the pseudo-haemaphrodite’s from Bryan’s study. All I wanted was to have a good time tonight and to forget about it, and look what’s just happened.â€
A tear dropped slid down my cheek.
“And now look at me†I continued. “I am a man, with a Norwood, in a restaurant. I have nothing left anymore.â€
“I…I just can’t,†she said.
She grabbed her bag and ran out of the restaurant, crying.
I was left standing there, alone, bearing my Norwood 3 with vertex thinning to the world. Dr Armani lay unconscious on the floor. The staff still looked on at me, stunned. I grabbed my coat, sprinkled some toppik fibers back onto my vertex, and walked out the restaurant alone. Hair loss had ruined my life once again.
Soundtrack (1)
So a couple of weeks ago, I met a girl on OKCupid – let’s call her Isabella. I was sceptical about online dating at first, but after reading CCS’s success story I thought I’d give it a go. We got chatting, and then phoning, over the course of several days.
She was a few years older than me, and in my view out of my league – almost an 8 out of 10. She had medium-brown hair; her complexion, though, was of someone whose natural colour was red. She was extremely good looking though not ‘classically’ so, but there was something a little odd about her that I couldn’t pin down over the phone. Perhaps I was just nervous about talking to a stranger online. Perhaps I was just unsure why she’d be chatting to a guy like me.
But since I hadn’t done online dating before, I thought: why not? I had nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain. So I did the right thing and asked her out.
We went for dinner at an uptown Italian restaurant. It wasn’t the busiest of places, but you could tell from the layout and the décor that it was a high-quality establishment. There was a section of outside seating, backing out onto the waterfront by the river. Nice as this area was, we ended up being seated inside.
I ordered a risotto and a bottle of red wine, on account of the drink’s alleged anti-inflammatory properties I’d been reading about on immortalhair.com. The food was great, and the conversation was going brilliantly, but after just a couple of glasses I felt the need to go to the bathroom.
I got in, and relieved myself. It seemed to go on forever. I don’t know if you remember the scene from Austin Powers where the protagonist goes to urinate after having been cryogenically frozen, but it was like that. I’d taken too long slashing into the urinal already, and I needed to get back in and keep up the chat.
When I went to wash my hands, though, I was shocked.
I thought I’d covered up my hairline perfectly with dermmatch, but there was a clear balding area visible on the left side of my temporal recession.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
Foolishly, I hadn’t taken any dermmatch out with me, and all I had was my emergency travel-sized pack of toppik fibers. I pulled the fibers out of my back pocket and started to sprinkle.
If you’ve ever tried to apply toppik fibers to the hairline, you’ll know how difficult it is. I kept getting the toppik on my forehead, and had to scoop it back up into the temporal recession with some toilet roll. It was pretty messy.
(There was another guy who came in the bathroom when this was happening, but he didn’t say anything. He was Norwood 3v, so I assumed he knew what was up.)
I got it done, slipped the travel-sized toppik into my back pocket, and went back into the restaurant. I’d taken much longer than I should’ve done for a piss, but I sat down and didn’t say anything about it. I just carried on eating my food.
We sat in an awkward silence for almost a minute, and then she just came out and said it.
“I just can’t do this.â€
I was dumbstruck. The mood had suddenly changed.
“What? Why?â€, I said. I tried to get a quick glimpse of my reflection in the window to see if my temporal recession was visible, but I couldn’t see for sh*t.
“Look,†she said. “I should’ve told you this before, but I just couldn’t. The truth is, I’m married.â€
“What the hell?â€
“I wouldn’t have mentioned it,†she said, “but my husband knows we’re here. He has friends in the Italian restaurant business, and one of them must be working here tonight. I just got a text from my sister a minute ago, and she says he’s furious, and he’s on his way here now.â€
I suddenly felt a wave of dread overcome me, like when you drop ketchup onto your pants.
“But what’s worse,†she continued, “is that I think you knew we were married all along. And I think you wanted to use me to get in touch with my husband.â€
“What? Why the hell would I want that?â€
“To help you solve…â€
Then he walked in. All was silent. It was so quiet, you could hear a nanogen fiber drop. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. I recognized this man.
It was none other than Dr. Armani.
Soundtrack (2)
Dr Armani knew what was going on straight away. He glared at me like a poodle high on mescaline.
“I know what you’re all about!†said Armani. “You think you can mess around with MY wife. I can tell you don’t like hair loss, but let’s see how you like it when I turn you from a Norwood 3 into a Norwood Infinity!â€
Dr Armani looked straight at me, with a menacing look of rage in his eyes. He looked like a mad bull enraged, and I was the matador. I wanted to say ‘ole’, but all I could do was sh*t my pants.
From his suit breast pocket, he pulled out an FUE extraction device and then came running straight at me.
http://www.regrowshair.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/newtool.jpg
I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t believe what was happening. “You think you have a bad Norwood now? Just you wait, buddy!â€, he shouted as he drew near.
I was backed into a corner and he was getting closer. I didn’t know what else I could do, so I slotted my hand into my back pocket, reached for my toppik fibers, and just as he lunged at me with the FUE extraction device sprayed some black-brown fibers into his eyes.
“Arrrhghhâ€
Armani reeled and screamed out. He was even more angry now, and as I snuck out from the corner he threw plates and cups and glasses in every direction. He pushed over the table where I was sitting, and was back on his feet and running at me again. I backed up, fast.
He chased after me very quickly, and I tried to stand my ground. I Norwood bombed at him, and knocked him back, but he recovered in an instant. I didn’t want to expose my head with another Norwood-bomb, so I ran again. I knew I wouldn’t have much further to flee.
I was now outside on the railing against the waterfront. Armani was coming at me, with his FUE extraction device in tow. I had nowhere to go but the river, and I couldn’t dive in there because not only would it rub out my toppik fibers, but it would reveal my diffuse vertex thinning which is always obvious when I have wet hair. That would totally wreck my prospects with this girl.
But before I knew it Armani was on top of me. He rugby tackled me to the floor. I tried a few Norwood-butts, but it was no use. We were scrambling and fighting out by the waterfront, like cats wrestling over a pigeon’s ballsack, but he’d got me pinned down. I couldn’t do anything. He gripped his FUE extraction device and slowly was overpowering me, getting closer and closer to the point where he could tear out my follicles for good.
I was horrified. Why was this happening to me? I didn’t even know she was his wife!
And then I remembered. I had one final trick up my sleeve. One final throw of the dice. One secret weapon which could overpower Armani.
I reached into my pocket and grabbed it…
The Hairmax Laser Comb
I pulled out my laser comb and saw the expression on Armani’s face change from frenzy to surprise to fear. He wasn’t expecting this.
I forced him off of me and we commenced battle in the restaurant. Man against man; laser comb against FUE extraction device; surgery against experimental treatment.
It was mayhem.
I didn’t think I could win. I began to doubt the power of the laser, remembering criticisms raised by Spencer Kobren against the device. But then I remembered what my mentor had told me. I will never forget the day that omg showed me what was possible with a laser helmet, and the powers he achieved after wearing one at a young age.
I began to believe.
I realized then that I had in my possession the power of anti-inflammatory laser technology. I had this energy. It was mine to wield. I felt a surge of power run through me and cut through the brain-fog I was experiencing, and I overcame Dr. Armani’s FUE extraction device to strike him down with my Hairmax.
He went tumbling into the corner and collapsed like he’d been hit with finasteride side effects. All was silent now.
Soundtrack (3)
And there, where we were seated to begin with, lay Isabella in the corner table where we were sitting. She was trembling among the debris. I turned off my hairmax lasercomb.
But as I went in to comfort her, suddenly she looked at me aghast. She pointed at my head, and suddenly I saw the outline of my reflection in the window behind her.
I was looking manly and pumped, my face was red and my shirt was torn. But something else was wrong.
My toppik fibers had shaken out during the fight. My Norwood 3 with vertex thinning was plain for the whole restaurant to see.
The waiters and the bar staff all looked at my slick bald section, wide-eyed, mouths-gaping. No one said a word. They had expressions like they’d just found out Santa wasn’t real. All I could hear was Isabella’s sobbing.
“I can’t do this,†she said.
I felt broken.
“It’s because of my Norwood isn’t it?â€
“I….I….â€
“It’s my Norwood isn’t it? I knew it! Go on, tell me!â€
“I just, well…it’s just that…â€
“You have no idea how it feels. Every day I wake up and look at this Norwood in the mirror, and then look back at my pillow to see the lost hairs where it came from. You have no idea what it drains from your power, how it eats from your soul. And day after day I apply my revivogen and my hairmax, covered over with toppik and dermmatch, and despite all my efforts all I can see is it getting worse. You know NOTHING of this pain. You have as much understanding of this as the pseudo-haemaphrodite’s from Bryan’s study. All I wanted was to have a good time tonight and to forget about it, and look what’s just happened.â€
A tear dropped slid down my cheek.
“And now look at me†I continued. “I am a man, with a Norwood, in a restaurant. I have nothing left anymore.â€
“I…I just can’t,†she said.
She grabbed her bag and ran out of the restaurant, crying.
I was left standing there, alone, bearing my Norwood 3 with vertex thinning to the world. Dr Armani lay unconscious on the floor. The staff still looked on at me, stunned. I grabbed my coat, sprinkled some toppik fibers back onto my vertex, and walked out the restaurant alone. Hair loss had ruined my life once again.
i loled hard 
