Hairwheredidyougo
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Hi everyone,
I'm a guy from California in my 30s, and I'm here to the forums just to relay my story and perhaps get some advice on getting a proper wig or hairpiece or maybe shave it all off, I dunno.
I used to have a full head of brown hair, then in my early 20s (?!) I noticed large bits of hair falling out in the morning. I would wake up and see strands of hair on my pillow and I would lose it rapidly when shampooing my hair. I would tell my family with alarm this was happening and they told me it was all in my head, as it were and not to worry. Well finally I was nearly bald, but then it didn't matter.
I decided around this time, to grow my hair long, and just combed over the bald spots, and you really couldn't tell, honestly. People just talked about my long flowing locks. That was an interesting time for me as I realized just how superficial and judgmental people are and how I basically lost my reputation because I had taken on all of the stereotypes that one must find if you have longer hair. You must be a rocker, a druggie, a rebel, etc.
Then right around that time, in the years after high school, my mother's health took a dive for the worst, and she passed away of a heart attack. I had to move in with my father and his new Asian wife for economic reasons. My parents had divorced. One of his requirements was that I cut my long locks, he is old fashioned.
And, so every since that day, I've had to live with the humiliation of my balding head. It's not so horrible, but the thing is, my dad and I never bonded as father and son, and he takes every opportunity to humiliate and degrade me. To remind me that I'm balding, and he has been very forceful that a use a special shampoo from his wife's country every morning to "restore my hair growth", and he detests that I have a combover, but I have steadfastly (except once) refused to cut my hair off, I just want SOME dignity, even though I know it looks silly, it looks better to me.
To make matters worse, I was super obese growing up, but have lost about half that weight and am just mid-sized obesity now, and though I suffered discrimination for obesity, it seems almost worse about my bald head. I've had strangers come up to me about my "combover".
And, I've seriously just thought about shaving it all off, but my father refuses (not that this would stop me but). What does stop me is, for practical terms, I need SOME sort of head covering because of very fair skin. I burn quite easily, after about 5 minutes in the sun, my scalp will turn to the color of a tomato. Eventually after several burns, I can tan, some, but it's pretty debilitating, even with generous amounts of 90 SPF gooey sunscreen. So people just suggest to wear a hat, but I also have a very large head (about 24.2 in in circumference), which makes finding hats nearly impossible. I'd like a fitted sports cap rather than a simple baseball cap, because on me it looks very red-necky and awkward (doesn't fit my personality). But it's hard to find a large-sized hat in a brick and mortar store.
So for health as well as cosmetic reasons, I'd like a good fitting wig or toupée perhaps, but don't know about what to do to get a decent looking one without having to spend thousands on a "hair system" which just seems to be a glorified toupée. Does anyone have advice on getting fitted for one and how to go about it? I've also thought about long hair again and I know they make good long haired ones as well.
So anyway, I come here just out of frustration. I look ok enough, but my father makes me feel very self conscious. I've lost a lot of weight, but since I've lost my hair, sometimes I feel like why bother if I can't have the body I want and will still be considered awkward and "unattractive" by society. It is funny though because I have such a large noggin, people begin to think of me as "thin" when I hit around 240 (I'm 6 ft tall), I start to get the bobble-head thing, lol. But that's an issue of another topic. Being balding makes it worse.
I know there are good examples to counteract this like Patrick Stewart and Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, which is a major reason why I've thought about shaving it all off, but as I've said, my fair skin.
And, I feel like I'm always having to comb it down to make myself presentable for him, otherwise I wake up with this Gene Wilder like frizz. He tells me I'm "vain" for wanting a toupée, and yet he has made great strides in being proud that he has kept his hair in his 60s, still in the "Fonz" like 50 inspired Greaser do from his youth, though not as pompadour now. His dad though and my uncle and his son went bald young, but he was lucky.
At any rate, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, I want some dignity. I'm still single and have never married. I'm scared to death I will be single the rest of my life since my hair has left its "sell by date" so to speak. And, I'm frustrated because if I were older and bald that'd be one thing, but I look in age more like 19-23, so there is no age respect factor to consider, and things are very mismatched. I look more awkward like I'm having chemo therapy or something. I don't want to feel like an awkward "loser" forever, and being in this condition by things people have said has made me very self conscious. I've also had friends make fun. I have one friend who is in his 30s and has long locks who always "jokes" with me about my baldness. He thinks it's "cute" but doesn't realize how much it hurts me, and he has a girlfriend.
And, in short I just want my dignity back. Am posting here if anyone can relate to my story. So just thought I'd say hi. Obviously, I'm a very verbose person, lol.
I'm a guy from California in my 30s, and I'm here to the forums just to relay my story and perhaps get some advice on getting a proper wig or hairpiece or maybe shave it all off, I dunno.
I used to have a full head of brown hair, then in my early 20s (?!) I noticed large bits of hair falling out in the morning. I would wake up and see strands of hair on my pillow and I would lose it rapidly when shampooing my hair. I would tell my family with alarm this was happening and they told me it was all in my head, as it were and not to worry. Well finally I was nearly bald, but then it didn't matter.
I decided around this time, to grow my hair long, and just combed over the bald spots, and you really couldn't tell, honestly. People just talked about my long flowing locks. That was an interesting time for me as I realized just how superficial and judgmental people are and how I basically lost my reputation because I had taken on all of the stereotypes that one must find if you have longer hair. You must be a rocker, a druggie, a rebel, etc.
Then right around that time, in the years after high school, my mother's health took a dive for the worst, and she passed away of a heart attack. I had to move in with my father and his new Asian wife for economic reasons. My parents had divorced. One of his requirements was that I cut my long locks, he is old fashioned.
And, so every since that day, I've had to live with the humiliation of my balding head. It's not so horrible, but the thing is, my dad and I never bonded as father and son, and he takes every opportunity to humiliate and degrade me. To remind me that I'm balding, and he has been very forceful that a use a special shampoo from his wife's country every morning to "restore my hair growth", and he detests that I have a combover, but I have steadfastly (except once) refused to cut my hair off, I just want SOME dignity, even though I know it looks silly, it looks better to me.
To make matters worse, I was super obese growing up, but have lost about half that weight and am just mid-sized obesity now, and though I suffered discrimination for obesity, it seems almost worse about my bald head. I've had strangers come up to me about my "combover".
And, I've seriously just thought about shaving it all off, but my father refuses (not that this would stop me but). What does stop me is, for practical terms, I need SOME sort of head covering because of very fair skin. I burn quite easily, after about 5 minutes in the sun, my scalp will turn to the color of a tomato. Eventually after several burns, I can tan, some, but it's pretty debilitating, even with generous amounts of 90 SPF gooey sunscreen. So people just suggest to wear a hat, but I also have a very large head (about 24.2 in in circumference), which makes finding hats nearly impossible. I'd like a fitted sports cap rather than a simple baseball cap, because on me it looks very red-necky and awkward (doesn't fit my personality). But it's hard to find a large-sized hat in a brick and mortar store.
So for health as well as cosmetic reasons, I'd like a good fitting wig or toupée perhaps, but don't know about what to do to get a decent looking one without having to spend thousands on a "hair system" which just seems to be a glorified toupée. Does anyone have advice on getting fitted for one and how to go about it? I've also thought about long hair again and I know they make good long haired ones as well.
So anyway, I come here just out of frustration. I look ok enough, but my father makes me feel very self conscious. I've lost a lot of weight, but since I've lost my hair, sometimes I feel like why bother if I can't have the body I want and will still be considered awkward and "unattractive" by society. It is funny though because I have such a large noggin, people begin to think of me as "thin" when I hit around 240 (I'm 6 ft tall), I start to get the bobble-head thing, lol. But that's an issue of another topic. Being balding makes it worse.
I know there are good examples to counteract this like Patrick Stewart and Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, which is a major reason why I've thought about shaving it all off, but as I've said, my fair skin.
And, I feel like I'm always having to comb it down to make myself presentable for him, otherwise I wake up with this Gene Wilder like frizz. He tells me I'm "vain" for wanting a toupée, and yet he has made great strides in being proud that he has kept his hair in his 60s, still in the "Fonz" like 50 inspired Greaser do from his youth, though not as pompadour now. His dad though and my uncle and his son went bald young, but he was lucky.
At any rate, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, I want some dignity. I'm still single and have never married. I'm scared to death I will be single the rest of my life since my hair has left its "sell by date" so to speak. And, I'm frustrated because if I were older and bald that'd be one thing, but I look in age more like 19-23, so there is no age respect factor to consider, and things are very mismatched. I look more awkward like I'm having chemo therapy or something. I don't want to feel like an awkward "loser" forever, and being in this condition by things people have said has made me very self conscious. I've also had friends make fun. I have one friend who is in his 30s and has long locks who always "jokes" with me about my baldness. He thinks it's "cute" but doesn't realize how much it hurts me, and he has a girlfriend.
And, in short I just want my dignity back. Am posting here if anyone can relate to my story. So just thought I'd say hi. Obviously, I'm a very verbose person, lol.