Harder when you're alone?

[Happy as Larry]

I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but for me my hair loss is the most upsetting when I'm by myself in my room - when I'm out with my friends (unless there's shitty rainy/windy weather) I don't really think about my balding. However, in my room, I compulsively check it in the mirror: pulling back my fringe to see the recession, and examining the thinning. I've been this way with other physical flaws since I was like 17, obsessively examining them in the mirror. I realise it's the behaviour of a body dysmorphic, but in my case the defects aren't merely imagined, people often point them out to me or agree they're there when I mention them (close friends and family I mean, not just anyone lol)...Yeah, it's not fun. How many of you guys have experienced that horrible physiological response where your heart races, you go pale and yet your face feels incredibly hot upon noticing progressing balding? I imagine alot of us have lol. My point is that I'm going to start going out more, having fun, and not sitting at home brooding over this. Ofcourse, for some of you guys the real problem is when you're out in public, and that must truly suck...

 

[Odie]

I think it can help to put yourself in other people's shoes. When I walk down the street I look at other people and think 'if that was me what would I not be happy about'.

I realised that everyone has some aspect of their appearance that if I was in their shoes I would be worried about. The problem is therefore me and how I perceive what 'good looks' are and how I have an overly critical view of appearance - not just mine but in general.

I have deliberately been working on not doing this anymore and am at the point now where I am enjoying life more and more.

 

[BodyDysmorphic]

what your describing is most definitely symptoms of body dysmorphia

keep in mind people with this condition don't always imagine the (flaw)
instead the flaw can be over exaggerated and blown way out of context

it's great your trying to get out more and enjoy yourself
instead of being confined in your room obsessing about your
hair loss and other "probably minimal" flaws

i myself am extremely guilty of mirror checking
it's horrible i cant go more than 2 hours without checking the mirror
i wish i could just be a normal bro
and just not care or put soo much value on appearance

thanks for posting

 

[Happy as Larry]

Yeah, I'm very much the mirror checker...It started when I was 17, and fell on a trampoline and the left side of my jaw swelled up, leading to a "complex" about my face being asymmetric, and has since progressed to an unhealthy scrutiny of my whole body, and at my worst, I feel unspeakably hideous and inferior.

 

[Odie]

I recommend the book ' The Broken Mirror'
It's really useful for understanding and coping with BDD - helped me a lot

 

[karl_h]

I agree that hair loss is harder to deal with when you are alone. When you are alone, you are always looking at your hair in the mirror and it does get depressing.

When out with friends, I have noticed that I just don't think about my hair as much. We talk about a variety of things, and it helps me to take my mind off of my hair loss. This is one of the reasons that I used to look forward to meeting up with my friends.

 

[mr_sparkle]

This is sort of true for me, but I find when out and about I'm always checking my reflection. Obviously I'm not pulling at my hair (it's buzzed now anyway) but I'm checking I look okay. It sucks because people could conclude I'm vain (in the 'I love myself way') when it's the opposite.

I'm seeking Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to hopefully try and overcome this.