Here I am.

[Aplunk1]

Damn, I can’t believe I went out with these guys. Having spent the last of my spare cash and squandered the rest of my credit on alcohol, I realize that these assholes I call friends aren’t what they seem.

They know I’m a former heroin addict/drug user. I came up here to Boston to do touristy sh*t, but this group of shitheads takes us out to a local bar. Nothing but drinking, and I was unfortunately suckered into this. It completely depresses me.

I broke my discipline, and what’s worse is that I’m here in a town with a bunch of dickheads who don’t know how to pick up women, much less have a good time without drinking. I’ll never fit in with healthy people, and when I finally do go out and socialize, it’s with these meandering morons.

My ex-girlfriend lives here in Boston, and I’m just becoming more and more depressed here by the minute. Broken discipline and broken-hearted, I hope I learned my lesson.

f***.

Me.

I won’t write any more without getting too personal.

f***.

 

[badasshairday III]

Dude what happen? Why did you take a trip to Boston with them? What the heck happen to all your money man?

I hope they didnt' make you do drugs. I'm guessing you had a bit too much too drink.

 

[IBM]

dont waste your money on alcohol and bars. spend on meds. you'll need it in the future.

 

[powersam]

Broken discipline and broken-hearted, I hope I learned my lesson.

f***.

Me.

I won’t write any more without getting too personal.

f***.

a relapse is both normal, expected and definitely nothing to be ashamed of. what you do after a relapse... thats the measure of a man. learn from it, figure out why it happened, and you'll be far more ready next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

 

[JayBear]

Broken discipline and broken-hearted, I hope I learned my lesson.

f***.

Me.

I won’t write any more without getting too personal.

f***.

a relapse is both normal, expected and definitely nothing to be ashamed of. what you do after a relapse... thats the measure of a man. learn from it, figure out why it happened, and you'll be far more ready next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

Agreed. Getting too depressed about what happened might lead to another relapse itself.

 

[stampede]

Broken discipline and broken-hearted, I hope I learned my lesson.

f***.

Me.

I won’t write any more without getting too personal.

f***.

a relapse is both normal, expected and definitely nothing to be ashamed of. what you do after a relapse... thats the measure of a man. learn from it, figure out why it happened, and you'll be far more ready next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

Agreed. Getting too depressed about what happened might lead to another relapse itself.

x3.

Best of luck dude. This temptation is there for me at the moment too, it would be so easy for me to just drift back into the lifestyle I used to lead.

Don't feel guilty. It often takes a few tries to kick stuff like this.

Best of luck my man

 

[The Gardener]

You're a great guy, Aplunk. We ALL have our demons we struggle with, times during the day when we don't see ourselves in the best of lights... but I think that because of your history you are taking these thoughts to heart a bit too much. You are MORE than just your demons... and just because there is dark in you does not mean that there is no light.

Try to stay positive, life has ups and downs, and you'll get through nonetheless.

I have another thought... were you doing some drinking last night? I'm wondering if some of your down mood might be due to a "blue monday" type thing. You know, after a night of drinking, your brain chemistry gets a bit out of whack, and the next day you can feel more depressed and down than you might normally be if you had not drinked.

 

[CCS]

Aplunk1,

1. You will feel less depressed after your hangover is gone.
2. Just worry about money for food and rent right now. That is the only thing you need to worry about. I hope that was not your Fall financial aid you squandered, though.
3. As good of shape as you got into, I know you go another 4 months before the next relaps. Don't give up. You are getting there.
4. Those are not your friends, so don't go out with them again.
5. Your problem is not not fitting in with healthy people. It is hard even for me to meet people, and has nothing to do with your eating habbits. Just stop going to bars, and try to find some other clubs at your school. There has to be some fun group to get you out of your apartment.
6. You are a very good looking guy... now. You can get women. Just don't go to the bars to get them or you will be tempted back to your old lifestyle.

 

[RaginDemon]

alcohol is a biatch man, use it wisely.

 

[Cassin]

I’ll never fit in with healthy people,.

Thats not true my friends. It just takes time, trust me.

Most of my friends are still stuck like they are 21. Its like time froze and I am still searching for those healthy friends but I have a few now, it just takes time.

In some way or another I have been there done that with all of the above, it passes. No worries. Just give it time.

One of the best things I ever did was change my phone number and not let about 80% of the people on my phone list know. Drastic but an odd yet wonderful sense of freedom and moving on after I did.

 

[Cassin]

Aplunk1,

1. You will feel less depressed after your hangover is gone.
2. Just worry about money for food and rent right now. That is the only thing you need to worry about. I hope that was not your Fall financial aid you squandered, though.
3. As good of shape as you got into, I know you go another 4 months before the next relaps. Don't give up. You are getting there.
4. Those are not your friends, so don't go out with them again.
5. Your problem is not not fitting in with healthy people. It is hard even for me to meet people, and has nothing to do with your eating habbits. Just stop going to bars, and try to find some other clubs at your school. There has to be some fun group to get you out of your apartment.
6. You are a very good looking guy... now. You can get women. Just don't go to the bars to get them or you will be tempted back to your old lifestyle.

Good post CCS.

 

[Cassin]

a relapse is both normal, expected and definitely nothing to be ashamed of. what you do after a relapse... thats the measure of a man. learn from it, figure out why it happened, and you'll be far more ready next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

Well said.

 

[Cassin]

alcohol is a biatch man, use it wisely.

Yeah if you have a problem with substance abuse its best to put a huge gap time wise between any type of substance before you use anything again and try to figure out why you had the issue to begin with.