How Do You Even Regain Your Identity?

[Breaking Bald]

You know I started to accept baldness recently but then it always comes nagging back, tormenting your mind and soul, leaving you wondering what if. I have to buzz my hair down now and have done for some time. I started to like the look for a while but now I am struggling to cope again. Why? I guess because I really feel like I have lost a big part of my identity. I know, hair doesn’t define us...blah blah but it’s not that simple is it? It does define us to a big degree, think of punks, hippies, musicians, skin heads. Instantly a statement is made by your length and style of hair.

More specifically this applies to me as a musician, who USED TO have a f*****g incredible mane of hair unstill I started losing it at 21. I’ve just turned 27 recently, a friend of mine had a huge jamming night a couple of weeks ago and I had a great time; but I guess, looking around seeing all of these musicians with their thick heads of hair...looking their f*****g age unlike me really brought back all of those old feelings. How do I even counter this? How do I get counter this look which I consider to be the TOTOAL OPPOSITE of who I am? That is a f*****g buzz cut, making me look older, more serious, and more dominant.

It makes me feel like a total recluse sometimes, I feel I have to really overwork to get rid of this persona. I feel like a loner, it feels like a big part of my youth and identity has been totally lost, never to come back. It’s really devastating. What can I do? Wear hats? Dress differently to counter the look? I hate looking in the mirror at times. The anxiety caused by hair loss (and other things from the past) have really caused me a lot of pain and social isolation. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I’m sure many of you feel like this, especially the young guys like me. I suppose I just wanted to see if anybody had any advice or wanted to just vent like me.

All the best,

BB

 

[hanginginthewire]

Totally understand your feelings. They are valid. #weneedacure

 

[Breaking Bald]

Totally understand your feelings. They are valid. #weneedacure

And unfortunately that ain't happening anytime soon :/

 

[hanginginthewire]

Maybe a new treatment then that you can supplement with transplants. Stay hopeful. It's almost like Pascal's Wager at this point, you might as well delude yourself that a cure is coming because either one is or it isn't. But you'll feel better in the meantime. And there are reasons to be encouraged.

 

[abba]

If it makes you feel better there are a lot of really successful musicians with noticeable hairloss or completely bald. You don't need to look any further than System of a Down, all of the members are balding although at different rates.

I really understand how hairloss takes away your identity. It's the main reason we feel so depressed about it, we have in our head an image of how we are, and once a medical condition changes that drastically it really fucks you up. It doesn't help that baldness is seen as something negative by society, to the point of being mocked even.

I'm not a musician, so forgive me if this comes across as something silly, but i read somewhere that lots of successful artists used their sorrows as inspiration to create masterpieces, and that applies to music as well, so maybe you could do the same and write a song about how you're feeling about it. If anything it could be a good way to relieve some of the stress and anxiety that you have from your hairloss, it could be the outlet you're looking for.

 

[CopeForLife]

Unleash.
Bald.
Beast.

 

[Dsport]

The issue is not being alone

Our identity comes spiritually and through friends

If it makes you feel better there are a lot of really successful musicians with noticeable hairloss or completely bald. You don't need to look any further than System of a Down, all of the members are balding although at different rates.

I really understand how hairloss takes away your identity. It's the main reason we feel so depressed about it, we have in our head an image of how we are, and once a medical condition changes that drastically it really fucks you up. It doesn't help that baldness is seen as something negative by society, to the point of being mocked even.

I'm not a musician, so forgive me if this comes across as something silly, but i read somewhere that lots of successful artists used their sorrows as inspiration to create masterpieces, and that applies to music as well, so maybe you could do the same and write a song about how you're feeling about it. If anything it could be a good way to relieve some of the stress and anxiety that you have from your hairloss, it could be the outlet you're looking for.

 

[Big L]

Exactly how I feel. Really depressing, hard to look in the mirror, feels like youth loss.
Focus on other things, hopefully new treatments come out within the next 5 years otherwise I'm fucked.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

The aboves a joke - I've no idea what you can do.

I presume a new identity will form eventually.

The transition is the worst.

 

[Guzam]

You know I started to accept baldness recently but then it always comes nagging back, tormenting your mind and soul, leaving you wondering what if. I have to buzz my hair down now and have done for some time. I started to like the look for a while but now I am struggling to cope again. Why? I guess because I really feel like I have lost a big part of my identity. I know, hair doesn’t define us...blah blah but it’s not that simple is it? It does define us to a big degree, think of punks, hippies, musicians, skin heads. Instantly a statement is made by your length and style of hair.

More specifically this applies to me as a musician, who USED TO have a f*****g incredible mane of hair unstill I started losing it at 21. I’ve just turned 27 recently, a friend of mine had a huge jamming night a couple of weeks ago and I had a great time; but I guess, looking around seeing all of these musicians with their thick heads of hair...looking their f*****g age unlike me really brought back all of those old feelings. How do I even counter this? How do I get counter this look which I consider to be the TOTOAL OPPOSITE of who I am? That is a f*****g buzz cut, making me look older, more serious, and more dominant.

It makes me feel like a total recluse sometimes, I feel I have to really overwork to get rid of this persona. I feel like a loner, it feels like a big part of my youth and identity has been totally lost, never to come back. It’s really devastating. What can I do? Wear hats? Dress differently to counter the look? I hate looking in the mirror at times. The anxiety caused by hair loss (and other things from the past) have really caused me a lot of pain and social isolation. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I’m sure many of you feel like this, especially the young guys like me. I suppose I just wanted to see if anybody had any advice or wanted to just vent like me.

All the best,

BB

It wouldn't surprise me at all if bald men were the first to question the existence of God. All the mental hardship we all go through for a disease that not only looks bad but it's mocked since the beginning of civilization reminds me of the work of some evil divine force, certainly not of a biblical God.
What kind of God would allow this kind of torture, which from the viewpoint of naive fullheads is just something to joke and feel superior about? There is absolutely nothing positive to gain or learn from hair loss: only bitterness, sadness, some even develop misanthropy. Getting bald makes you aware of how good you had it when you had hair and how good everyone around you has it. What kind of sh*t is this? There's no meaning to be found in what happens to us; from a religious standpoint, this looks like a curse of a prankster god who punishes us for our past actions. Too bad we actually didn't do sh*t and its all about genetics, so baldness qualifies as proof against the existence of God. Not only this, but the greatest irony in this sad prank of a life as a bald man is the origin of baldness: masculinity itself, I.e. Male hormones. Our own masculinity emasculates us, doing exactly the opposite of what male hormones are made to, which is making us look like men. Instead, we look like freaks, no matter how our hair is cut or buzzed or combed. If God is and is not evil, I then pray for a Cure or just to deliver us all from this pain once and for all in some way.

 

[Xander94]

Wear wig

 

[Big L]

Wear wig

Wear a wig and what happens when someone takes it off?
Or you have to go camping for a few days or you want to go swimming? f*** wearing a wig

 

[CharAblaze]

But if you have that combination, which is rare, you can definitely live a great life with a shaved head, but you need a hair line and some density, which you can get with a FUE megasession or even better, a combination of FUE and temporary SMP.

You're right.

I would rather look like this dude, than have a f*****g ugly horseshoe at 22. This to me looks acceptable. Looks like a simple short hair cut.

Unfortunately, most of us don't have that, but I have pretty thick donor hair. I just want something that looks normal and healthy and I don't want to have some retarded "fabulous" hair narcissistics want to have. If I could stop my hair loss in 2 years, I could just get a hair transplant, but it will have to be an expensive doctor who specializes in coverage and the nightmare will be over.

I honestly don't know what the f*** I should do? Lately I've been telling myself, just try not giving a f*** and see what happens, but it's very hard when your hair looks like somebody took sh*t on it.

 

[Dante92]

You can't regain it, you can only try to rogaine it.

I know the feel man....

 

[HankPentagon]

hair transplant is the answer

 

[Marky]

It wouldn't surprise me at all if bald men were the first to question the existence of God. All the mental hardship we all go through for a disease that not only looks bad but it's mocked since the beginning of civilization reminds me of the work of some evil divine force, certainly not of a biblical God.
What kind of God would allow this kind of torture, which from the viewpoint of naive fullheads is just something to joke and feel superior about? There is absolutely nothing positive to gain or learn from hair loss: only bitterness, sadness, some even develop misanthropy. Getting bald makes you aware of how good you had it when you had hair and how good everyone around you has it. What kind of sh*t is this? There's no meaning to be found in what happens to us; from a religious standpoint, this looks like a curse of a prankster god who punishes us for our past actions. Too bad we actually didn't do sh*t and its all about genetics, so baldness qualifies as proof against the existence of God. Not only this, but the greatest irony in this sad prank of a life as a bald man is the origin of baldness: masculinity itself, I.e. Male hormones. Our own masculinity emasculates us, doing exactly the opposite of what male hormones are made to, which is making us look like men. Instead, we look like freaks, no matter how our hair is cut or buzzed or combed. If God is and is not evil, I then pray for a Cure or just to deliver us all from this pain once and for all in some way.

It's a broken fallen world, people are bald or short or ugly or fat or mentally ill (I think this one will be a biggy over the next decades) or die young of cancer or come from broken homes etc., the list is never ending.

It's a reminder that we are pilgrims just passing through and that life is but a vapor in the face of eternity. Imagine if we were all good looking, fat thick haired, tall, rich etc., - we'd be arrogant as f#$k and condemn our souls to hell - gotta have some humility.

 

[JeanLucBB]

You know I started to accept baldness recently but then it always comes nagging back, tormenting your mind and soul, leaving you wondering what if. I have to buzz my hair down now and have done for some time. I started to like the look for a while but now I am struggling to cope again. Why? I guess because I really feel like I have lost a big part of my identity. I know, hair doesn’t define us...blah blah but it’s not that simple is it? It does define us to a big degree, think of punks, hippies, musicians, skin heads. Instantly a statement is made by your length and style of hair.

More specifically this applies to me as a musician, who USED TO have a f*****g incredible mane of hair unstill I started losing it at 21. I’ve just turned 27 recently, a friend of mine had a huge jamming night a couple of weeks ago and I had a great time; but I guess, looking around seeing all of these musicians with their thick heads of hair...looking their f*****g age unlike me really brought back all of those old feelings. How do I even counter this? How do I get counter this look which I consider to be the TOTOAL OPPOSITE of who I am? That is a f*****g buzz cut, making me look older, more serious, and more dominant.

It makes me feel like a total recluse sometimes, I feel I have to really overwork to get rid of this persona. I feel like a loner, it feels like a big part of my youth and identity has been totally lost, never to come back. It’s really devastating. What can I do? Wear hats? Dress differently to counter the look? I hate looking in the mirror at times. The anxiety caused by hair loss (and other things from the past) have really caused me a lot of pain and social isolation. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I’m sure many of you feel like this, especially the young guys like me. I suppose I just wanted to see if anybody had any advice or wanted to just vent like me.

All the best,

BB

Seriously man, just hit up ASMED for a transplant and get on the finasteride. You will never "regain" your identity without a transplant, and the alternative is accepting a severely diminished existence.

I can promise you that in a decade if you don't get the transplant you will look back and regret what a mistake it was, because you will NEVER get over being bald. My dad went bald at 35 and when I was going for a transplant he told me that even at that age as a married man it was upsetting and a sad representation of losing his youth.

http://forum.hairsite.com/t/dr-koray-erdogan-asmed-clinic-5012-grafts-manual-fue/27673

Check out that situation. Similar to yours I think, and just finasteride and 5000 grafts for a full head.

 

[Breaking Bald]

That only worked for me, but I just loved my new identity from the start, I sh*t you not, the first day I buzzed my hair down, I thought:

"Hey, this doesn't look half-bad! Quite badass actually!" I genuinely thought I looked better than with my gelled curly hair on top of my angelic face.

Now important note: I loved that identity as long as I had a hair line and acceptable density.

The more my hair line and frontal third faded away, the more depressed I felt.

The days after my hair transplant, before the grafts shed, I felt absolutely ecstatic, I even preferred my new recessed hair line to the straight one I had before losing my hair.

So the slick bald / horseshoe identity? Absolutely unacceptable to me, no way I would ever have accepted that one.

Now, like @JohnsonDDG , I'm lucky enough to have a perfect, round head shape, small ears that don't stick out and no disproportionate facial features.

If you're missing one of these, I don't think you'll ever be able to accept the shaved / buzzed down look unfortunately.

But if you have that combination, which is rare, you can definitely live a great life with a shaved head, but you need a hair line and some density, which you can get with a FUE megasession or even better, a combination of FUE and temporary SMP.

Yea I felt the same when I started buzzing my head but yep now it's starting to look sh*t...
wish I could get an hair transplant but I've already been declined. I am going to be a NW6-7. There is no hop for me.

 

[Breaking Bald]

Seriously man, just hit up ASMED for a transplant and get on the finasteride. You will never "regain" your identity without a transplant, and the alternative is accepting a severely diminished existence.

I can promise you that in a decade if you don't get the transplant you will look back and regret what a mistake it was, because you will NEVER get over being bald. My dad went bald at 35 and when I was going for a transplant he told me that even at that age as a married man it was upsetting and a sad representation of losing his youth.

http://forum.hairsite.com/t/dr-koray-erdogan-asmed-clinic-5012-grafts-manual-fue/27673

Check out that situation. Similar to yours I think, and just finasteride and 5000 grafts for a full head.

Not even sure if I would have 5,000 grafts available. ASMED declined me unless I went on propecia which I don't want to do. That's a great result for sure, propecia must have played a huge part in that though!

 

[resu]

You let yourself go and accept your new you.