Gadgetine

How to tame a baldness taunter

oye_rg

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Firstly, I must say we have done nothing to cause male pattern baldness but we come across taunters who have hair but have some other adverse condition which they have caused themselves or have control over. In my view, they have no right mocking us and is morally wrong. I have used fitness as just an example here but there could be others. I also have nothing against people who are unfit because of a medical condition or otherwise but have something against those who have their own shortcomings but never cease to tease those with male pattern baldness.

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I did this once impromptu with someone who was a relentless harrasser. Now this defence has worked many a times with great success every time. I have also used it with some friends (who needs enemies) who have messed themselves up but are blessed to have hair. Here's how it goes:

Someone (pretending to be concerned but actually mocking): Oh! you have lost all your hair. What's happening?
Me: Hair doesn't matter, but one's body should be fit
Someone: Yes, that's true

I am quite fit (38 years at ideal BMI, slim but muscular) so I do this to people who I know for sure are trying to mock my baldness while being oblivious to their disregard for their fitness or something else. I do not feel guilty because first, they are mocking me purposefully for something I have no control over so I consider it to be equivalent of mocking a disabled person. Second, because they have control over fitness but are oblivious to it and think they are more attractive just because they have hair. I Agree NOT. Ask any woman, baldness over obesity anyday, specially for older men.

The end result usually is that they lose their confidence and I gain mine. They never mock me again and some have even come back to me later saying how good looking and fit I am at this age (kind of tacit aplogy which I appreciate them for in my heart).
 

oye_rg

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yeah what if they are in better shape than you to?

Get in even better shape or find some other weakness. It's about being confident of yourself and playing on their insecurity.

Off topic but I n general being confident of what you are somehow makes you more attractive to girls/women than someone who's insecure. Confidence covers baldness...not literally of course
 

swingline747

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Get in even better shape or find some other weakness. It's about being confident of yourself and playing on their insecurity.

Off topic but I n general being confident of what you are somehow makes you more attractive to girls/women than someone who's insecure. Confidence covers baldness...not literally of course

Ohhhhhhhhh yeah confidence....... you're new here arent you
 

g.i joey

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Ohhhhhhhhh yeah confidence....... you're new here arent you

typical fred follower, confidence is key, bald or not. I mean if you're ugly, you're ugly. Confidence wont change your looks, but it will def change someones impression of you. It might even be the fine line between if someone feels the need to insult you for being bald or not.
 

swingline747

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typical fred follower, confidence is key, bald or not. I mean if you're ugly, you're ugly. Confidence wont change your looks, but it will def change someones impression of you. It might even be the fine line between if someone feels the need to insult you for being bald or not.

confidence is a moot point. Its called NOT being a victim. I have stated numerous times, if you are good looking and confident then you are "confident" if you are bald and weird looking and confident then people just think your an azz hole trying to hard.
People will insult your baldness if they feel like it or not. I have NEVER had someone, even at my worst hair insult my baldness. Even when I shaved my head, no one ever said anything to me. This could also be because I look like the possibility of punching a hole through you is very real and my facial expressions are usually very dead unless Im laughing.
I think once youre out of school the chance of someone pointing out your baldness to attack you for no reason is very slim. If they do its because
1) you are competing for a girls attention
2) they are an asshat and will do it regardless
3) you are ACTING overconfident and they want to bring you down a peg, which is something "I" would do

You have a very fine grip on reality and the mechanisms of peoples thoughts.

Go ahead be fit, go to the gym where there will be many men who are MUCH better looking and in better shape than you and use that line. Go out to the club and use that confidence to sway a girl from a guy in the same shape with great hair! +-
Confidence is asking people to peg you, unless they have even LESS confidence than you. And in that case you end up with "clingers" and yes men who use your personality to try and gain traction.
Of course dont sit there sulking or whiny, cause thats the worst but dont walk around like youre the schit cause you will VERY quickly learn you are NOT.


THIS IS CONFIDENCE
pdQDLqE.jpg

THIS is a guy trying to hard that no one likes.

4rvxo1.jpg



lol thats from sly bald guys HA!
http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=25567.0
 

oye_rg

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Confidence comes in many flavours

Agree with every point made when it is the arrogant or pompous type of confidence.
But it is possible to be confident and very very humble at the same time. That is what I mean when I say confident in my original post.
 

marco75

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Confidence comes in many flavours

Agree with every point made when it is the arrogant or pompous type of confidence.
But it is possible to be confident and very very humble at the same time. That is what I mean when I say confident in my original post.

I agree, being confident means for example, you can use self depreciating humour and not let rejection get to you, while treating others with respect and respecting yourself, being assertive if the need arises. Doesn't mean you walk about thinking you are a god.
 

swingline747

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I agree, being confident means for example, you can use self depreciating humour and not let rejection get to you, while treating others with respect and respecting yourself, being assertive if the need arises. Doesn't mean you walk about thinking you are a god.

Not being a victim
 

oye_rg

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Not being a victim

Exactly! Nail on the head. As marco said humour plays a big part.

I went back home (to India from UK) for a big multi-event function after 8 years having turned from NW1 to NW5/6 during the time. I was very anxious/terrified and even took loads of concealers and hair/scalp cosmetics with me (Toppik, Dermmatch, Mascara, mousses, shine & volume, what not you name it).

I remained humble but confident, even joked about my hairless head during parties...totally opposite to the stress and anxiety I was carrying on the flight home.

Had a great time and danced with a good many pretty girls. Only felt good about my fitness and forgot the head.

Didn't feel the need to use any of those concealers and anyway they looked horrible for my hair loss so couldn't use them anyway.

Just One Example:

My cousin sister: Oh you've lost so much.
Me (with a smile): Yes I've lost a lot both here (pointing to my tummy) and here (pointing to my head)
She: Oh no losing hair is a sign of spending money looks like you're doing good for yourself. And you're so fit. You look great!

Btw, I started (v late) big 3 after returning and have a diffuse growth all over since. Cannot wait to go back after another year or so.
Just to be clear I started therapy only because I want to make it even better.
 

Rudiger

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Maybe it's a cultural thing but your version of "taunter" is easily tamed, here's the typical kind of "banter" you'd get from an English gentleman:

Someone (pretending to be concerned but actually mocking): Oh! you have lost all your hair. What's happening?
Me: Hair doesn't matter, but one's body should be fit
Someone: WHATEVS SLAP'EAD 'OO ARE YA 'OO ARE YA

And they would win this battle every time.
 

oye_rg

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Maybe it's a cultural thing but your version of "taunter" is easily tamed, here's the typical kind of "banter" you'd get from an English gentleman:



And they would win this battle every time.

At that point I would go with one of these options (which are all quite the same in a way):

1. Go the macaronanoni way: "i don't understand the issue - if someone taunts you, just tell them to f off or punch them in the face and the problem is solved. People shouldn't taunt other people, that's called bullying. Once that happens, civility is no longer required."

2. Taunt them back and get into a match

3. (Especially if there's others around) Stick to your humble, confident, funny way. A 'Gandhi' always wins against a 'Hitler' in the end. The best way to tackle a bully is to not be affected by their bullying. They get frustrated, go up and up and then at some point give up and start tearing their own hair in the end.
 

Wolf Pack

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Slap head is a very common term here, agree with the Irish poster although I am in the UK - very similar all round. Even when I have been playing computer football games they will call Zidane a slap head. It's the go to insult when something goes wrong with a pretty bald guy. Bald c*** is the other one.

Once a sly shaven lecturer was very aggressive with a guy who I studied with. Afterwards the guy said to me and a few girls/boys that he saw the lecturer on his bike as he drove past. He goes I wanted to slap his head repeatedly and run him over.

There is an obsession with rubbing and slapping it over here. Hell on a UK tv show "come dine with me" the girl asked the bald guy if he would let her lick his head. They then showed a close up of her tongue flat on his bald head. I think it was humiliating for the guy, definitely she was not flirting. Of course he had to play along.

The bald guy should have said "what can I lick first" of you :)
 

marco75

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Slap head is a very common term here, agree with the Irish poster although I am in the UK - very similar all round. Even when I have been playing computer football games they will call Zidane a slap head. It's the go to insult when something goes wrong with a pretty bald guy. Bald c*** is the other one.

Once a sly shaven lecturer was very aggressive with a guy who I studied with. Afterwards the guy said to me and a few girls/boys that he saw the lecturer on his bike as he drove past. He goes I wanted to slap his head repeatedly and run him over.

There is an obsession with rubbing and slapping it over here. Hell on a UK tv show "come dine with me" the girl asked the bald guy if he would let her lick his head. They then showed a close up of her tongue flat on his bald head. I think it was humiliating for the guy, definitely she was not flirting. Of course he had to play along.

The bald guy should have said "what can I lick first" of you :)


Think that's a working class thing, I never heard anyone use those terms where I live. If you live in a place they use these taunts they are likely to taunt you about anything deemed inferior, like short arse, fat bast etc. So unless you are a 6 foot sex god with Norwood 0 better save the money and move to nice area.
 

Wolf Pack

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Think that's a working class thing, I never heard anyone use those terms where I live. If you live in a place they use these taunts they are likely to taunt you about anything deemed inferior, like short arse, fat bast etc. So unless you are a 6 foot sex god with Norwood 0 better save the money and move to nice area.

Lol

Most my friends are professionals, a lot of drs, scientists, teachers. The very opposite of working class. I went to a private school for a start. It might shock you but behind closed doors, everyone is the same. I am sure politicians are no different too, nothing like the speeches they give. It's funny how people have a different attitude to others in professional jobs. Little do they realise, they drink just as much, maybe even more and chat just as much rubbish. It's just not seen day to day. I hear everything in my job from many different types of people.

I think you're going to the extreme there - 6ft sex god, Norwood 0 and you know it. You're new here and it's been an awakening of some sort at the age of 40 for you. As I understand you never noticed good looking guys or treated your hair till it all went so it's all a shock to you to see this kind of culture. I don't mean that in a bad way, everyone has a different mind. It's probably liberating to be like that.

Baldness is a big indicator for abuse IF there is an argument, that's what I wrote. It stands out like being extremely ugly, dwarf or very fat. But the other three are no where near as common. No one is going to say "that average looking **** ,t hat average height loser, that temporal recessed loser." Are they? The fact you are treating your hair shows by default that you are uncomfortable with hair loss as (insert reason).

I was once in Hilton Hotel and the receptionist was called a bald **** behind his back. You're kidding yourself if you think working class people are only prone to abuse. If anything, a lot of working class people are actually really nice and genuine. I trust some of them more.
 

oye_rg

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Lol

Most my friends are professionals, a lot of drs, scientists, teachers. The very opposite of working class. I went to a private school for a start. It might shock you but behind closed doors, everyone is the same. I am sure politicians are no different too, nothing like the speeches they give. It's funny how people have a different attitude to others in professional jobs. Little do they realise, they drink just as much, maybe even more and chat just as much rubbish. It's just not seen day to day. I hear everything in my job from many different types of people.

I think you're going to the extreme there - 6ft sex god, Norwood 0 and you know it. You're new here and it's been an awakening of some sort at the age of 40 for you. As I understand you never noticed good looking guys or treated your hair till it all went so it's all a shock to you to see this kind of culture. I don't mean that in a bad way, everyone has a different mind. It's probably liberating to be like that.

Baldness is a big indicator for abuse IF there is an argument, that's what I wrote. It stands out like being extremely ugly, dwarf or very fat. But the other three are no where near as common. No one is going to say "that average looking **** ,t hat average height loser, that temporal recessed loser." Are they? The fact you are treating your hair shows by default that you are uncomfortable with hair loss as (insert reason).

I was once in Hilton Hotel and the receptionist was called a bald **** behind his back. You're kidding yourself if you think working class people are only prone to abuse. If anything, a lot of working class people are actually really nice and genuine. I trust some of them more.

True. I am in a professional job and can sense people notice the baldness and probably think about it in their heads. But no-one will ever show or comment anything because in my office this can result in a prompt sacking if the person takes offence. Goes for anything to do with looks be it obesity, ugliness or baldness anything. Commenting on looks which could offend the recipient is major disciplinary faux pas in most professional companies.
 

Wolf Pack

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True. I am in a professional job and can sense people notice the baldness and probably think about it in their heads. But no-one will ever show or comment anything because in my office this can result in a prompt sacking if the person takes offence. Goes for anything to do with looks be it obesity, ugliness or baldness anything. Commenting on looks which could offend the recipient is major disciplinary faux pas in most professional companies.

Agree

People in professional jobs tend to be even more image conscious, more aware and competitive. They are the ones that pump money into cosmetic surgery or judge others. Working class people are actually friendly and less judgemental. They tend to go with the flow even when it's to their detriment. Feel bad for some of them.

Oh yes certainly, no one will show that side in the office. Things are very PC - you would face disciplinary action if you said something. It's like the parties after work or 2 close friends talking: that's when you see the normal human side to everyone.

It's good you can observe things well, clearly not everyone has that basic skill.
 

marco75

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Lol

Most my friends are professionals, a lot of drs, scientists, teachers. The very opposite of working class. I went to a private school for a start. It might shock you but behind closed doors, everyone is the same. I am sure politicians are no different too, nothing like the speeches they give. It's funny how people have a different attitude to others in professional jobs. Little do they realise, they drink just as much, maybe even more and chat just as much rubbish. It's just not seen day to day. I hear everything in my job from many different types of people.

I think you're going to the extreme there - 6ft sex god, Norwood 0 and you know it. You're new here and it's been an awakening of some sort at the age of 40 for you. As I understand you never noticed good looking guys or treated your hair till it all went so it's all a shock to you to see this kind of culture. I don't mean that in a bad way, everyone has a different mind. It's probably liberating to be like that.

Baldness is a big indicator for abuse IF there is an argument, that's what I wrote. It stands out like being extremely ugly, dwarf or very fat. But the other three are no where near as common. No one is going to say "that average looking **** ,t hat average height loser, that temporal recessed loser." Are they? The fact you are treating your hair shows by default that you are uncomfortable with hair loss as (insert reason).

I was once in Hilton Hotel and the receptionist was called a bald **** behind his back. You're kidding yourself if you think working class people are only prone to abuse. If anything, a lot of working class people are actually really nice and genuine. I trust some of them more.

My daily experience doesn't match up to lots of what's posted on here though, I think it's down to looks overall, focusing on one aspect of your appearance is too black and white. Like saying all gingers are doomed etc or flat boobs etc more hair is always better don't get me wrong and I will try anything sensible to sort that.

About offices I've had people joke about me having a full head of hair before I started on this difficult project, and like wise I joke about some guy eating all the cakes as he is a bit chubby. As long as it's done in a bantering way it's ok. I
 

Rudiger

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Slap head is a very common term here, agree with the Irish poster although I am in the UK - very similar all round. Even when I have been playing computer football games they will call Zidane a slap head. It's the go to insult when something goes wrong with a pretty bald guy. Bald c*** is the other one.

Once a sly shaven lecturer was very aggressive with a guy who I studied with. Afterwards the guy said to me and a few girls/boys that he saw the lecturer on his bike as he drove past. He goes I wanted to slap his head repeatedly and run him over.

There is an obsession with rubbing and slapping it over here. Hell on a UK tv show "come dine with me" the girl asked the bald guy if he would let her lick his head. They then showed a close up of her tongue flat on his bald head. I think it was humiliating for the guy, definitely she was not flirting. Of course he had to play along.

The bald guy should have said "what can I lick first" of you :)

I didn't mean to single out the English guys because I've lived both here and England and it's similar "banter" (in fact Irish can sometimes be worse) I just thought the English banter was a more universal example, Americans have the same kind of "fun" I believe. There's really no classy way of dealing with a piss-taker the way OP is suggesting, there's no handbook for these situations, and actually despite the "Ghandi techniques" suggestions there is no real way of standing up for yourself calmly or jokingly without appearing to be angry about it.

It's hard to describe the culture of people who think everything is a joke, and if it's not all jokes and banter then it's serious chat and the convo dies and you just look really awkward and upset.
 

Wolf Pack

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^ Very true. I think humour directed at you must be met with similar humour. That's all you can do. Anything else just makes you look weird. As you say, some people don't mean harm, it's just the culture.

Oh the Irish definitely are more ruthless in terms of taking the mick :laugh:
 
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