How you deal with setbacks is what ....

[Oknow]

A small percentage are. Career women who get very picky because they think men value the same thing as they value in men. While they actually just desire youth, beauty and innocence.

I don't think he has a thing for older women tbh. He seems to me more like a depressed romantic who longs for young, untouched love

well he’s not in a position to be picky

 

[Feelsbadman]

Some really good well balanced responses in this thread. @Oknow can't seem to grasp that his world is different to other peoples.

 

[vondoom]

Keep on trying, that’s all

find it hard to believe that you get zero matches, I’m not ripped and I have over 150 matches in 3 months

i had about 5 matches on various apps in ten years, i do believe it^^

 

[Feelsbadman]

A small percentage are. Career women who get very picky because they think men value the same thing as they value in men. While they actually just desire youth, beauty and innocence.

I don't think he has a thing for older women tbh. He seems to me more like a depressed romantic who longs for young, untouched love

Yes and this is why I fell in love with an extremely damaged mentally ill women with a personality disorder. This women love bombed me so hard and made me feel like a king. I felt like I was in high school. The way she acted around me. It was great whilst it lased but in hindsight it was just two desperate, mentally ill people (myself included) trying to fill empty voids in ourselves via each other. it was toxic. I've grown up now and over it. it was quite some experience though. I hope she gets therapy she will ruin some guys life one day.

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

Unfortunately, I represent what happens when you have a condition that you never outgrow. Social media only flamed "my fire". I think some people just never outgrow certain mental conditions but at the same have no choice but to move on with their life the best way they can. And I totally agree with you. Depression and anxiety is on the rise. Suicide is on the rise. And the reason is because our self worth is based on looks because of movies, social media, and Hollywood have brainwashed us into believing looks do matter. Of course they matter. Beauty is in the eye of the holder but everyone prefers beauty to ugliness. It is innate instinct to want the best of the best. It's just sometime people will settle only to confirm with the norm of what society expects us to do. I am the outsider who didn't conform. No one has to conform but most people will because they want to be a part of the norm.

That is true, and society makes conforming appear very appealing. You have a strong will, but imagine, since 12 y/o, constantly being aware of your own shortcommings, seeing it contrasted against all these perfect people. It'll do a number on your sanity.

I'm not really a zoomer myself ( being born on the border area of Y and Z) but even I struggled. Fortunately I now only have a minimal presence on social. But the youngest generation, my god they are a miserable bunch, this insecurity is ingrained in them

 

[Oknow]

i had about 5 matches on various apps in ten years, i do believe it^^

With daily use?

 

[Oknow]

Yes and this is why I fell in love with an extremely damaged mentally ill women with a personality disorder. This women love bombed me so hard and made me feel like a king. I felt like I was in high school. The way she acted around me. It was great whilst it lased but in hindsight it was just two desperate, mentally ill people (myself included) trying to fill empty voids in ourselves via each other. it was toxic. I've grown up now and over it. it was quite some experience though. I hope she gets therapy she will ruin some guys life one day.

lol I was in that situation back in Jan, broke it off after 6 weeks - glad I did , do it whilst my stock value is high

 

[Oknow]

Some really good well balanced responses in this thread. @Oknow can't seem to grasp that his world is different to other peoples.

no it isn’t , have friends who’ve been successful from apps

know quite a few who have met their wives from them

 

[Feelsbadman]

lol I was in that situation back in Jan, broke it off after 6 weeks - glad I did , do it whilst my stock value is high

Do you think I did the right thing as well?
Ultimately, she left me and cheated on me but I was starting to withdraw well before that.. as despite being so desperate and lonely, despite her love the wild sex and the fact i actually did love a part of her and enjoyed her company... I couldn't look passed her big obvious issues despite how hard i tried to ignore them
do you think i did the right thing despite my lack of options?

 

[DoctorHouse]

Yes and this is why I fell in love with an extremely damaged mentally ill women with a personality disorder. This women love bombed me so hard and made me feel like a king. I felt like I was in high school. The way she acted around me. It was great whilst it lased but in hindsight it was just two desperate, mentally ill people (myself included) trying to fill empty voids in ourselves via each other. it was toxic. I've grown up now and over it. it was quite some experience though. I hope she gets therapy she will ruin some guys life one day.

Very impressive post. I wasn't sure you were able to diverge from your usually posts but this truth shall set you free. You are very aware of your mental state which defines you. And at least you know now what a toxic situation looks like. Hopefully, history won't repeat itself but there is a high probability it could if you don't keep reflecting on whether you can stop the same temptation if the same situation presents itself again. It's a hard temptation to pass up because even us guys like to be treated like a king. It's in our DNA. Just like women like being treated like a princess. That's why Disney movies are so popular. We all want our happily every after.

 

[Oknow]

Do you think I did the right thing as well?
Ultimately, she left me and cheated on me but I was starting to withdraw well before that.. as despite being so desperate and lonely, despite her love the wild sex and the fact i actually did love a part of her and enjoyed her company... I couldn't look passed her big obvious issues despite how hard i tried to ignore them
do you think i did the right thing despite my lack of options?

yes definitely

She would have left you eventually , or it would have ended. Now imagine if that had happened if you had kids

the only mistake you made was not ending it a lot sooner whilst you had your looks

you can’t make a wife out of a wh*** mate

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

Yes and this is why I fell in love with an extremely damaged mentally ill women with a personality disorder. This women love bombed me so hard and made me feel like a king. I felt like I was in high school. The way she acted around me. It was great whilst it lased but in hindsight it was just two desperate, mentally ill people (myself included) trying to fill empty voids in ourselves via each other. it was toxic. I've grown up now and over it. it was quite some experience though. I hope she gets therapy she will ruin some guys life one day.

Was she your first real love? Then it's understandable that she still lives in your mind. First love never dies. I still reminiscence about my first relationship, my first gf, and we were sixteen.. an age ago basically.

Nonetheless, you need to let go. As in, yoou need to sever the good from the bad, and learn to appreciate those moments without the rest polluting them. Easier said than done I know, but it's something you learn the more time passes

 

[vondoom]

With daily use?

daily, no joke... multiple times...

 

[Oknow]

daily, no joke... multiple times...

then how I am getting 150 matches as an Indian, with white women?

 

[DoctorHouse]

That is true, and society makes conforming appear very appealing. You have a strong will, but imagine, since 12 y/o, constantly being aware of your own shortcommings, seeing it contrasted against all these perfect people. It'll do a number on your sanity.

I'm not really a zoomer myself ( being born on the border area of Y and Z) but even I struggled. Fortunately I now only have a minimal presence on social. But the youngest generation, my god they are a miserable bunch, this insecurity is ingrained in them

You think it might have to do with the fact they don't belong to a traditional family with both a mother and father who are happily married? Divorce is at an astronomical high and it's very common for a single mom to raise the children by themselves. No father in the child's life.

 

[Feelsbadman]

Was she your first real love? Then it's understandable that she still lives in your mind. First love never dies. I still reminiscence about my first relationship, my first gf, and we were sixteen.. an age ago basically.

Nonetheless, you need to let go. As in, yoou need to sever the good from the bad, and learn to appreciate those moments without the rest polluting them. Easier said than done I know, but it's something you learn the more time passes

She was my first and only love. Yea i've finally let go now I still think of her though sometimes.
In high school women wouldn't even go near me , so meeting her in my early 20's was like my high school love.. i'm fortunate that she was so extremely immature i guess it made up for missing out on high school love.. she had the mental age of a 16 year old , but so did I,.. to a lesser extent during that time.
Funny how we attract people similar to us mentally.

 

[Feelsbadman]

@Oknow
sorry if I was being mean to you before

 

[DoctorHouse]

@Oknow
sorry if I was being mean to you before

Aww, how sweet. Nice to see you guys "shaking hands" now.

 

[vondoom]

then how I am getting 150 matches as an Indian, with white women?

no idea... probably not bad looking... i dont look good on pictures, like at all... that doesnt mean im super pretty in real life of course... i am also a racial minority here, so there is that...
thing is: i never let it get to me, i sometimes thought “how is that possible), that i get nothing, but when i go out i dont ever have issues with women, but that was that...
thats why i say take it as a substitute for real life, but not too serious...

 

[DoctorHouse]

Some really good well balanced responses in this thread. @Oknow can't seem to grasp that his world is different to other peoples.

His world is your world but you both share different perspectives and beliefs. You both live the UK right?