I never understand people who "play down" male pattern baldness

[Hoppi]

I think it's just a horrible condition, I really do. I don't understand anyone who plays it down.

I think it hurts people psychologically, hurts their confidence, and the cumulative effect it has on ALL THE MALES IN THE WORLD must be just huge... does that make sense?

Like, imagine if we could just click our fingers and it's cured, for everyone in the world. Can you IMAGINE how much people's confidence would be affected? Can you imagine how much happier people would be?

It needs to be cured or an incredibly effective treatment like CB or something made readily available, asap!

It's had long enough damnit!


Hoppi



oh, footnote, just because I believe health has effects on male pattern baldness, doesn't mean I think it SHOULD!! I think male pattern baldness/FPB should never exist, for anyone, ever

 

[hopeofhair]

I think people are just trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Some people can just accept it and move on, some can't and find themselves on this forum.

 

[bigentries]

I might be accused of playing it down, and have been questioned why I am on this forum before

I'm not saying I like it, I hate it, that is the reason why I buzz my hair, take propecia. I don't like it. If there was a magical pill or procedure with a reasonable price, I would pay for it.
I think one thing is admitting that it sucks and another things is letting it control your whole life
I have let other cosmetic problems control my life before, and it is not worth it.

I tend to believe baldness tends to affect more to people who were once considered conventionally attractive

 

[SheSawMyCombover]

I'd never downplay the deleterious effects of male pattern baldness on an individual.

I tend to believe baldness tends to affect more to people who were once considered conventionally attractive

That's an interesting theory bigentries but not one I'd subscribe to personally.

I think there is probably a greater relationship between how it affects the individual and the age they start losing it. The younger you experience male pattern baldness the more it is likely to negatively affect you. I'd like to think I'd have dealt with male pattern baldness better if I started experiencing hair loss at 37 than rather than 17.

 

[s.a.f]

I'd never downplay the deleterious effects of male pattern baldness on an individual.

I tend to believe baldness tends to affect more to people who were once considered conventionally attractive

That's an interesting theory bigentries but not one I'd subscribe to personally.


I think there is probably a greater relationship between how it affects the individual and the age they start losing it. The younger you experience male pattern baldness the more it is likely to negatively affect you. I'd like to think I'd have dealt with male pattern baldness better if I started experiencing hair loss at 37 than rather than 17.

I agree (in my case anyway) I started losing it at 19 and was bald by my mid 20's. Basicly m.p.b stole my confidence and therefore the best years of my life, how can you replace that? How can you move on when you missed out on your rite of passage. I suppose its abit like going to prison for your entire 20's and wishing you could trade the incarceration for when you're older.
If I could have kept my hair during my 20's into my 30's I dont think the effect of losing it would be anywhere near as bad.
But I suppose there are many other physical imperfections that could result in the same situation.
How many fat people are sat at home on friday/saturday nights wishing they were out with the cool crowd.

But then again I've seen many people for who looking attractive would just require a small amount of effort and yet they have no interest. So clearly looks are not everything to some people.

 

[SheSawMyCombover]

I'd never downplay the deleterious effects of male pattern baldness on an individual.

I tend to believe baldness tends to affect more to people who were once considered conventionally attractive

That's an interesting theory bigentries but not one I'd subscribe to personally.


I think there is probably a greater relationship between how it affects the individual and the age they start losing it. The younger you experience male pattern baldness the more it is likely to negatively affect you. I'd like to think I'd have dealt with male pattern baldness better if I started experiencing hair loss at 37 than rather than 17.

I agree (in my case anyway) I started losing it at 19 and was bald by my mid 20's. Basicly m.p.b stole my confidence and therefore the best years of my life, how can you replace that? How can you move on when you missed out on your rite of passage. I suppose its abit like going to prison for your entire 20's and wishing you could trade the incarceration for when you're older.
If I could have kept my hair during my 20's into my 30's I dont think the effect of losing it would be anywhere near as bad.
But I suppose there are many other physical imperfections that could result in the same situation.
How many fat people are sat at home on friday/saturday nights wishing they were out with the cool crowd.

But then again I've seen many people for who looking attractive would just require a small amount of effort and yet they have no interest. So clearly looks are not everything to some people.

What you went through s.a.f is pretty much what I'm going through right now. I'm 21 (almost 22) and will be bald by mid 20's - 24/25 would be guess - like my father and one of my brothers. It has definitely stole my confidence and put a massive dent in my self-esteem. I don't really bother heading out these days with friends to hit the clubs and bars. I only enjoyed that experience for about two years max when I was 18/19. Quite depressing really when you think about it. As you say this is meant to be our best years of our life and for some of us it pretty much ends before it begins. :shakehead:

Even more dejecting for me is that just recently all my friends have been talking about our pending uni graduation. Mostly about how excited they are for the graduation and the graduation ball after it. I'm not going to even bother attending. It will be graduating in absentia for me. While my friends will get to look back at their grad pictures, all immaculate in their robes, thinking those really were the best years of my life that's just not possible for me. All my graduation pics would do is serve as a reminder of a period in my life when instead of being happy and revelling in the carefree days of my youth, I was in actual fact a truly miserable individual.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Good to hear Hoppi.... I hate it when people pull the "at least your not a paralized from the neck down" card.

 

[Primo]

I think one thing is admitting that it sucks and another things is letting it control your whole life

:agree:

It's shite losing your hair when you're that young. I started losing it at 17, but luckily for me I'm just a slow receder. I don't think baldness should stop you going to bars and nightclubs though... unless of course the places in question are full of 17-21yr olds only.

Since moving to London, I've found a crowd more my age, i.e. 21-30 and I've been having sooo much more success with women in nightclubs and bars, my hair still looks like sh*t some nights but it doesn't stop me pulling.

Honestly, I recommend 'The Flow' by Dan Bacon, to anybody who doubts their ability to attract women.

I realise being a NW3 is hardly full blown baldness, but nonetheless I'm nowhere near first in the queue when it comes to attractive males, in fact I'm a 5 or 6 at best, but in the last 6months I changed my attitude, developed some serious balls and upped my game in the bars and nightclub scene and it's really paying dividends!

Never let this sh*t control your life or define who you are.

 

[LooseItAll]

I tend to believe baldness tends to affect more to people who were once considered conventionally attractive

I think it affects people that were already insecure about themselves. I have yet to see an alpha-male guy that got depressed by male pattern baldness.

 

[Boondock(2)]

As others have mentioned, one reason hair loss is played down is because for the married, <40 man who makes up a large chunk of the sufferers, it isn't as big a deal as for the 20-year-old.

Also, it's just because so much sh*t is worse.

Earlier this year I had a cancer scare, and had to get checked out. It was looking pretty bad, although I got the all clear (have to go in for a check in a few months, however).

When this happened I remember how I completely forgot about hair loss and how insignificant and tame it seemed.

Not to say it isn't bad, but there is a LOT worse out there chaps.

 

[Boondock(2)]

What was the cancer scare what happened?

I had a mole that randomly started bleeding when I was travelling, and afterwards changed colour and shape. It went from essentially a standard, round mole to a raised scab-type thing. Not much larger, but very different in appearance.

This is pretty classic skin cancer, so I had to go and get it checked out.

I got it taken off and biopsied and it was, thank fook, non-cancerous. Having said that, they discovered another mole which looks a bit dodgy and I wasnt aware of, which I need to get checked out in a few months!

It's fine now, but for a few days when this happened I was like "sh*t, I definitely have cancer!". Just that glimpse of how it could feel gave me a bit of perspective on things.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I never understand people who play down cancer, oh wait.

 

[Rutt]

I tend to believe baldness tends to affect more to people who were once considered conventionally attractive

I think it affects people that were already insecure about themselves. I have yet to see an alpha-male guy that got depressed by male pattern baldness.

>alpha male
>balding

pick one

 

[Primo]

I pick both thank you very much! :woot:

 

[ghg]

Play down, well... to be fair it is NOT a life-threatening condition, it's only a cosmetic change. Just like a skin condition for example. The real problem is the shallow, looks-orientated western society we live in. I very much doubt that ppl who lived in dark ages or who live in poor 3rd world countries today scraping for something to eat or clean water were/are too worried about hairloss. When everything else in life is so "easy" you have to concentrate on this kind of problems. It's sad but it's true. I really only care because of other ppl, not for myself. I don't like getting teased or picked on about baldness.

 

[dk90]

This thread was so depressing it made me register. Hair loss isn't that big of a deal, relatively. That's not playing it down; it's pretty f*****g sh*t. If your f*****g hair is your number one concern though you obviously don't have any real problems in your life. I'm 21, NW3 but big f*****g deal, it's just my hair, I can't believe a dude would miss their graduation due to how they look. What the f***. male pattern baldness isn't the issue here dude, it's you.

The main issue isnt how your hair looks, or doesn't. The issue is the fact that you care so much about how your hair looks. Nobody else cares any more about your baldness than they do about anyone elses physical differences. Don't assume just because people look and make comments that they're thinking about it or even really noticing it most of the time.

You probably have social anxiety, talk to a proffessional about it. How you look shouldn't have that much control over your life, unless you're really that shallow, which I doubt.

Put it this way, some people are born ugly, some people lose their hair. What does it matter? Deal with it and move the f*** on, you don't see fat people missing their graduation just so people don't laugh at them.


The biggest effect, outside of how you react, hairloss can have on your life is that you can't date shallow people. Anything else is the effect you're having on your life because of how you feel about your hair loss.

I cant believe how rediculous some of this forum is.

 

[s.a.f]

This thread was so depressing it made me register. Hair loss isn't that big of a deal, relatively. That's not playing it down; it's pretty f****ing sh*t. If your f****ing hair is your number one concern though you obviously don't have any real problems in your life. I'm 21, NW3 but big f****ing deal, it's just my hair, I can't believe a dude would miss their graduation due to how they look. What the f*ck. male pattern baldness isn't the issue here dude, it's you.

The main issue isnt how your hair looks, or doesn't. The issue is the fact that you care so much about how your hair looks. Nobody else cares any more about your baldness than they do about anyone elses physical differences. Don't assume just because people look and make comments that they're thinking about it or even really noticing it most of the time.

You probably have social anxiety, talk to a proffessional about it. How you look shouldn't have that much control over your life, unless you're really that shallow, which I doubt.

Put it this way, some people are born ugly, some people lose their hair. What does it matter? Deal with it and move the f*ck on, you don't see fat people missing their graduation just so people don't laugh at them.


The biggest effect, outside of how you react, hairloss can have on your life is that you can't date shallow people. Anything else is the effect you're having on your life because of how you feel about your hair loss.

I cant believe how rediculous some of this forum is.

Hmm, whilst I agree with nearly everything you said, not letting it effect you is easier said than done.
I do think you're right that the difference between the guys on here and the majority of balding guys is one of lack of self confidence or vanity. But thats just how some people are. With myself I think that some bad experiences in my youth have exacerbated these problems for me.

However there definatly are fat/ugly people who skip their graduation/prom ect. And although hairloss is a huge problem to me that effects every aspect of my life I'm pretty sure that many 'perfect' looking people would feel the same if they woke up one morning to find themselves with such an obvious physical imperfection.

You say that being a 21 yr old NW3 does'nt bother you but all balding guys are not in the same boat. Maybe you suit the shaved look or are a big masculine guy that no ones going to take the piss out of?

 

[dk90]

Maybe you suit the shaved look or are a big masculine guy that no ones going to take the piss out of?

Nah, funny shaped head, always looked a bit odd and it doesnt help that I'm gay either, pretty much going to die alone. I'm not exactly fine with losing my hair yet but that's the main issue, not the fact that it's going. You get dealt your cards and the aim of the game is to play them, no point in getting caught up in how your game could have been superficially better.

 

[slurms mackenzie]

Hmmm well if you're gay that might give you a different perspective on hair loss anyway, for example you'll know more about the attractiveness of bald men than a straight guy would, so you might see it as less of an issue because you have the advantage of seeing things from the other side, so to speak.

 

[kejan]

Good thread.

One of my best friends is NW4 and diffuse thinning too. He has blonde/fair hair and doesn't give a crap about hairloss. He's been balding ever since 21 at least and we are now 28. He even gets called 'Eagle' by a few cruel people who say eagle due to the bald eagle. He doesn't care though! He still scores Women and they seem to instantly take to him.
To make it worse for the naysayers, he grows his hair out. It's like soccer player Arjan Robben's hair but grown out 3x more. He doesn't fold it or flop into a semi-combover, just does it and gets on with life.
I LOVE HIS ATTITUDE!! He really does not give a toss about it. I'm sureif he had a choice he'd have his hair but he doesn't care, his motto is ''life's too short''.

I am a NW3, not so much diffuse as him but yet have spent a considerable amount of time worrying about my hairloss and using concealers previously.
I will nevr play down hair loss to anyone because I know how much it affected me and how horrible I hid and felt about it. I'm slowly, SLOWLY coming to terms with it and the last few times I've had positive comments about my new shaved look.

I can see why it is a big thing for people, myself included. It can drascitally change the way you look in one swipe of the razor. It go can make you look handsome to hospital patient in one go and I can see why people get upset or depressed and hide about it when it's happening to them.