Well, The title says it all..i get this way every now and again. People probably arent even familiar with my story..i post on here every now and again, but not very often...
3.5 years ago, my senior year of college, i woke up one morning to find hundreds of hairs on my pillow. I didnt know of telogen effluvium or anything, but I panicked at the sight and realized im losing my hair. I didnt know that events can trigger hair loss, specifically a car accident i had been in 3 months earlier. Had I known the sudden unexplained hair loss was most likely due to an event such as this, maybe it would have helped me not get to the point I am now. But either way, I literally lost control of myself. I felt like my fears overwhelmed me. My heart began to beat out of wack at night along with my body shaking outwardly. I would sweat and anticipate going bald..it was my greatest fear being unmasked. I couldnt sleep any longer and even trying brought on severe shaking and anxiety.
Finally a year later, my panic attacks became completely evident. My mind raced and i couldnt control my thoughts, my heart would race out of my chest, my hands and legs would shake, id be dripping with sweat. This went on for about a year every single night. My scalp ached, my hair was falling off everywhere, on my shirt on the desk at work, i had chunks of white dandruff in my hair and my scalp was inflamed and red. It was f*cking hell. I hated life i wanted to die. I couldnt control my panic attacks, even the mere thought of them would induce one. I got the nerve to see a very well respected hair specialist in NJ, Dr. Pistone. His assistant assured me that I was losing hair from every part of my head and that I was suffering from Telogen Effluvium due to chronic anxiety and mental stress.
That diagnosis was made 2 years ago, almost to the day. What followed were more bouts with anxiety and fear of going bald until finally I hit rock bottom. I was out to dinner with my girlfriend who i loved more than anything for her moms birthday. I was so depressed and scared over my mental state and the state of my hair, i was like death. I couldnt speak, laugh, conversate, enjoy myself. I was depressing. I knew things had to change..Alot of stuff happened from then till now, I lost my girlfriend, and although it was other things that led up to it, i can fully blame my hair loss for warping me into a different human being. i wish she could have known me for the 4 years of college i was the man, cocky confident, fun and outgoing...it hurts so much that this sh*t started only about 8 months after i first met her. Anyways, eventually i began to calm down and i learned how to handle my anxiety and get it under control. i put so much into it..i couldnt go on until i was able to conquer this crap. I left my hair alone for all that time...
Finally, after I was able to rid myself of all the panic, my hair was still not better. The texture of my hair first changed when the anxiety disorder began, but even months after it was out of my life, my hair never went back to how it was before the Telogen Effluvium(or so they thought) hit. It felt dull and lifeless. I decided to take the doctors advice and try to speed up recovery time with minoxidil. I opted for xandrox because i read good things. Well after shaving my head on a 3 and taking xandrox for 3 months, my hair had completely thickened up. The texture slowly was changing as well and the hairs seemed to have a glossy texture to them again. I used to love to play with my hair all my life and shake it onto paper and then curl the hairs that fell out with my fingernails. I was able to do that again because my hair now had thickness back to it.
Well around the 5-6 month mark, i began to shed again for some reason. This killed me...the depression would come again ,and then get better, but another shed would leave me depressed. My ex and I, who i was hooking up with for a few months again, broke it off for good. I started getting trembling again at night eventhough it wasnt visible. felt like a motor running through my body right before i went to sleep. Now today, my hair feels like it did a year ago again. My sides are pretty much the same as theyve always been my life. I think im a Norwood 2. Ive never had a nice hairline. Thats not what really gets me, what kills me is the vertex. I held a mirror to it while looking in a different mirror under direct sunlight and i was appauled. I can see right through my vertex..it feels like crap..after i shower, i comb my hair and i do the touch test and it feels as though theres a huge dip in my vertex which then comes out again right underneath it. How can minoxidil work so amazingly for 5 months and then my hair sheds and leaves me back where i started...its been my 7th month on it, 2 months since my terrible shed. I really think they misdiagnosed my male pattern baldness for Telogen Effluvium.
Sorry for the length, im just sad and needed to get it off my chest. here are some pics i just took.
Here you can see my vertex area. Its like a straight line, that i could part, thats thin
The bastard "part" again...a clear line across the vertex under direct sunlight
right side
left side
Whats truly wierd is i tried to experiment and cut the hair in the vertex area and to my amazement they were as thicker any hair ive ever seen. I dont have hair that thick on the back of my head...and yet it appears theres just not as many hairs in that area because u can see scalp under the sun its horrible...and when wet, ugh theres like little areas that almost look like little dimes where u can see scalp but i know its not AA.
3.5 years ago, my senior year of college, i woke up one morning to find hundreds of hairs on my pillow. I didnt know of telogen effluvium or anything, but I panicked at the sight and realized im losing my hair. I didnt know that events can trigger hair loss, specifically a car accident i had been in 3 months earlier. Had I known the sudden unexplained hair loss was most likely due to an event such as this, maybe it would have helped me not get to the point I am now. But either way, I literally lost control of myself. I felt like my fears overwhelmed me. My heart began to beat out of wack at night along with my body shaking outwardly. I would sweat and anticipate going bald..it was my greatest fear being unmasked. I couldnt sleep any longer and even trying brought on severe shaking and anxiety.
Finally a year later, my panic attacks became completely evident. My mind raced and i couldnt control my thoughts, my heart would race out of my chest, my hands and legs would shake, id be dripping with sweat. This went on for about a year every single night. My scalp ached, my hair was falling off everywhere, on my shirt on the desk at work, i had chunks of white dandruff in my hair and my scalp was inflamed and red. It was f*cking hell. I hated life i wanted to die. I couldnt control my panic attacks, even the mere thought of them would induce one. I got the nerve to see a very well respected hair specialist in NJ, Dr. Pistone. His assistant assured me that I was losing hair from every part of my head and that I was suffering from Telogen Effluvium due to chronic anxiety and mental stress.
That diagnosis was made 2 years ago, almost to the day. What followed were more bouts with anxiety and fear of going bald until finally I hit rock bottom. I was out to dinner with my girlfriend who i loved more than anything for her moms birthday. I was so depressed and scared over my mental state and the state of my hair, i was like death. I couldnt speak, laugh, conversate, enjoy myself. I was depressing. I knew things had to change..Alot of stuff happened from then till now, I lost my girlfriend, and although it was other things that led up to it, i can fully blame my hair loss for warping me into a different human being. i wish she could have known me for the 4 years of college i was the man, cocky confident, fun and outgoing...it hurts so much that this sh*t started only about 8 months after i first met her. Anyways, eventually i began to calm down and i learned how to handle my anxiety and get it under control. i put so much into it..i couldnt go on until i was able to conquer this crap. I left my hair alone for all that time...
Finally, after I was able to rid myself of all the panic, my hair was still not better. The texture of my hair first changed when the anxiety disorder began, but even months after it was out of my life, my hair never went back to how it was before the Telogen Effluvium(or so they thought) hit. It felt dull and lifeless. I decided to take the doctors advice and try to speed up recovery time with minoxidil. I opted for xandrox because i read good things. Well after shaving my head on a 3 and taking xandrox for 3 months, my hair had completely thickened up. The texture slowly was changing as well and the hairs seemed to have a glossy texture to them again. I used to love to play with my hair all my life and shake it onto paper and then curl the hairs that fell out with my fingernails. I was able to do that again because my hair now had thickness back to it.
Well around the 5-6 month mark, i began to shed again for some reason. This killed me...the depression would come again ,and then get better, but another shed would leave me depressed. My ex and I, who i was hooking up with for a few months again, broke it off for good. I started getting trembling again at night eventhough it wasnt visible. felt like a motor running through my body right before i went to sleep. Now today, my hair feels like it did a year ago again. My sides are pretty much the same as theyve always been my life. I think im a Norwood 2. Ive never had a nice hairline. Thats not what really gets me, what kills me is the vertex. I held a mirror to it while looking in a different mirror under direct sunlight and i was appauled. I can see right through my vertex..it feels like crap..after i shower, i comb my hair and i do the touch test and it feels as though theres a huge dip in my vertex which then comes out again right underneath it. How can minoxidil work so amazingly for 5 months and then my hair sheds and leaves me back where i started...its been my 7th month on it, 2 months since my terrible shed. I really think they misdiagnosed my male pattern baldness for Telogen Effluvium.
Sorry for the length, im just sad and needed to get it off my chest. here are some pics i just took.
Here you can see my vertex area. Its like a straight line, that i could part, thats thin
The bastard "part" again...a clear line across the vertex under direct sunlight
right side
left side
Whats truly wierd is i tried to experiment and cut the hair in the vertex area and to my amazement they were as thicker any hair ive ever seen. I dont have hair that thick on the back of my head...and yet it appears theres just not as many hairs in that area because u can see scalp under the sun its horrible...and when wet, ugh theres like little areas that almost look like little dimes where u can see scalp but i know its not AA.
