Just another positive bald thread

[jd_uk]

Because i know how much some of you guys hate any positivity

Saw this article of a guy who used to be on a British soap (tv show). He used to have longish hair (i never realised back then he was receding). Now he is bald. I expected the comments to be brutal as daily mail readers often are terrible people. But check out the comments...


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...mark-floppy-blonde-locks.html#article-3463718

 

[shookwun]

Looks like your typical NYC, and Toronto hipster that you would see at Starbuck's with a ipad.

 

[paleocapa89]

Not every comments are mean (although there are quite some) but he doesn't look like his age at all. He is 34 and looks 50. Fu**ing male pattern baldness.

 

[F2005]

We don't hate positivity but it's easy to be positive when you have nearly all your hair; you said you're like an NW2A in one of your posts. As I've always said, there's a direct correlation between the fact that all of the positivity posts come from the people with the most minimal hair loss. When you have most of your hair, it's easy to be positive.

 

[jd_uk]

We don't hate positivity but it's easy to be positive when you have nearly all your hair; you said you're like an NW2A in one of your posts. As I've always said, there's a direct correlation between the fact that all of the positivity posts come from the people with the most minimal hair loss. When you have most of your hair, it's easy to be positive.

I have diffuse thinning all over. Even back and sides...even a hair transplant isn't an option for me. And i refuse to take propecia so in a strange way i feel like i am balding by choice. (Obv that isn't quite true).

I know lots of very happy and content bald guys.

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Not every comments are mean (although there are quite some) but he doesn't look like his age at all. He is 34 and looks 50. Fu**ing male pattern baldness.

Not every comment is mean? Have you seen them!? They are overwhelmingly positive. They say how he looks better now. He doesn't look 50 at all and even if he does look older than his age then he will not age much at all now for many years.

Also...i think people here do hate positivity.... this thread for example has 4 replies (including me). A negative thread about a completely nonsense, made up article relating to prince william has 6 pages in less than a day. A lot of people here want to believe that baldness is the worst thing in the world and a show stopper when it comes to dating. But that is quite clearly not true.

 

[F2005]

I have diffuse thinning all over. Even back and sides...even a hair transplant isn't an option for me. And i refuse to take propecia so in a strange way i feel like i am balding by choice. (Obv that isn't quite true).

I know lots of very happy and content bald guys.

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Not every comment is mean? Have you seen them!? They are overwhelmingly positive. They say how he looks better now. He doesn't look 50 at all and even if he does look older than his age then he will not age much at all now for many years.

Also...i think people here do hate positivity.... this thread for example has 4 replies (including me). A negative thread about a completely nonsense, made up article relating to prince william has 6 pages in less than a day. A lot of people here want to believe that baldness is the worst thing in the world and a show stopper when it comes to dating. But that is quite clearly not true.

The reason for the negativity on here is because hair loss is a very negative subject. If a person has minimal hair loss, they are more prone to exuding positivity because they still have most of their hair and therefore their looks are not deteriorating nearly to the degree as a person who is an NW6. The difference between say an NW2 and an NW6 is like the difference between night and day; one guy still has most of his hair, the other guy is full blown bald.

I initially thought your own hair loss was very mild and minimal since when you first joined here, you said that people really didn’t notice your hair loss and that in 5 years, your hair has barely changed. Even as an NW2 with diffuse thinning, if you don’t have any bald spots or your hair isn’t so thin that its extremely important, your outer looks will really not be impacted much, if at all. In fact, when I was an NW2 with diffuse thinning, I didn’t even notice it all, was a very positive person, and being on a hair loss forum never even occurred to me.

I really believe in the “walk a mile in my shoes” theory when it comes to basically anything in life, and especially when it comes to hair loss. In order to know how a specific situation feels, a person needs to experience it firsthand for themselves. Otherwise they’ll never know how it truly feels and therefore cannot adequately lecture anyone on the subject. (This is why many of us get pissed off when people with full heads of hair tell us to “man up” or “just accept it and move on”, when we just know that they could never follow their own advice.). Similarly, I believe that a person with minimal hair loss, who has most of their hair, cannot even comprehend what it is like to be a full blown baldie. The deterioration of a person’s outer looks, the feeling of depression every time you look in the mirror, the major blow to your confidence because your attractiveness is taking a major nosedive. No one will really notice if you have thinning temples, but if you are really bald, it is as noticeable as a neon sign.

Also, one cannot assume that bald people are happy and content because they are simply going out to work and functioning in life. If they didn’t do as such, they wouldn’t have food or shelter. People see me at the gym and they probably see a big, strong power-lifter. They’d surely never guess the depression I am experiencing over hair loss.

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Lastly, I did click on the link to Jack Ryder's bald photo. It's good that he is maybe owning up to it, and his opinion really does hold water because he really does have true, pronounced, and very noticeable hair loss. But unfortunately I believe his case is more of the exception than the rule. And also, some people (albeit the minority) don't see to care all that much about their outer looks. Jason Alexander used to say his baldness never bothered him, but I don't believe the anyone here would want to look or act like him. In fact, that George Costanza character seems like the epitome of a person that people on this forum would absolutely NOT want to look like.

 

[uncomfortable man]

F2005, all great points. Everything considered (socially imposed double standards) guys arent encouraged to express or talk about their emotions, especially if they are negative. Hence bald guys putting on a brave face for the world. Baldness is already seen as weak, publicly complainimg about your baldness only makes you look weaker in their eyes. Hence, there are so many of us that seem content and dare I say happy. Is it all an act? No, but who doesnt put on a mask of sorts when going out into the world?

And while baldness wreaks havoc on your confidence and sense of identity, lets not forget the second nail in the crucafix which is the negative feedback we get from people, which only serves to cement and reinforce the idea that we are actively being alienated. Its a reasonably safe assumption that most guys experiencing male pattern baldness are silently suffering from it. Lets be realistic.

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People (like house, for instance) like to use old addages like

You only get what you give. (with people)

Which is true, granted both parties are equal.

But it doesnt take into account the halo effect

And its varying degrees. A positive halo gets more than they

give and sometimes they get rerurns without giving

at all.

But a negative halo has to try harder just to break even,

sometimes giving everything and getting NOTHING back.

 

[I.D WALKER]

We may never "get ahead" with our hair,
but moreover we must do whatever we can in our overall capacity (real/make believe) not to completely lose our troubled heads over this ****.

 

[jd_uk]

F2005..regarding the 'walk a mile in my shoes' argument - that comment is made a lot on here but i'm not convinced. A lot of the time I think a NW6 looks neater and tidier than a NW3V or NW4 where the bald patches are obvious. I've had my moments wishing it would all just go rather than the diffuse/pattern i've got. But really it's all irrelevant...there are millions of guys in the world who have no problem being bald. At the end of the day it comes down to mindset.
I don't believe for a minute that 'most' bald guys are secretly depressed and hating it. Everybody has their insecurities and while maybe most would get their hair back if they could flick a switch, i'm sure most don't really care enough to let it trouble their minds on a regular basis. This forum brings together the people who are most bothered by hair loss - it is probably made up of guys with already low confidence and self esteem and also maybe some BDD type issues. When i speak to my dad (grown out NW6) about whether hair loss bothered him, i know he means it when he says he barely gave it a second thought. His slight insecurity was about needing to wear glasses and not about his hair. His self esteem is based on achievments i think and not appearance. It's probably a very small percentage of guys who let hair loss bother them enough that it takes over their lives/completely ruins their confidence.

In the last few weeks i've posted videos of quite a few bald guys going out and picking up hot women with all the confidence in the world. The reactions are not 'urgh get away from me', yet if an alien were to read this forum then they'd think that being bald was some sort of death sentence.

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We may never "get ahead" with our hair,
but moreover we must do whatever we can in our overall capacity (real/make believe) not to completely lose our troubled heads over this ****.

'Never get ahead'....well not if youre trying to model for head and shoulders, no. What else is it holding you back from? Ffs..p*sses me off a bit how sometimes people don't even try to be positive and instead pretend it's like losing two legs when you used to be a 100m runner.

 

[Norwood One]

No.

jd, our appearance leads to our self esteem and insecurity problems. They are not independent. Going from a full head of hair to only a few people commenting "hey, you're starting to get a baldspot". It will TEAR your self esteem and confidence you built over the years down in a matter of weeks.

Happened to me, I would look girls in the eye and swiftly approach, no hesitation, when hair was the least of my concerns. Now, I have to hesitate, check my hair and am overall more nervous when approaching, sometimes unable to maintain too long of eye contact. I'm still the same person in terms of personality, the only thing difference is my appearance.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Well not in the far too distant past,
I used to sprint the 40m @ 4 secs. haha..,
but I guess I see what you're saying.
Look for those who are trying to save themselves from drowning in self pity,
the general challenges they (we) must face while swim against the current mainstream
in themselves are tough work to begin with,
for even the fittest of fit deep sea divers.
Yes everyday anyway,
some of us' will take a heavy thrashing out there, all of us hurt when salt is rubbed in our wounds,
but all and all
most of us feel pretty lucky just so long our toes touch back on dry land.

 

[jd_uk]

No.

jd, our appearance leads to our self esteem and insecurity problems. They are not independent. Going from a full head of hair to only a few people commenting "hey, you're starting to get a baldspot". It will TEAR your self esteem and confidence you built over the years down in a matter of weeks.

Happened to me, I would look girls in the eye and swiftly approach, no hesitation, when hair was the least of my concerns. Now, I have to hesitate, check my hair and am overall more nervous when approaching, sometimes unable to maintain too long of eye contact. I'm still the same person in terms of personality, the only thing difference is my appearance.

Then that's not real condidence...

And i know exactly what you mean about the comments because it happened to me. But when i think about it, i'm not a naturally confident guy. Not socially anyway. Put me on a sporting field or something and I am confident...but social situations, public speaking, approaching women ...well that is all down to how i feel at the time. Some people are naturally confident...they have a 'i dont give a f*ck if anyone doesn't like me or how i look, i'll get what i want anyway attitude'.

I know for a fact that i have been more affected by hair loss than i would be had i beeb in a happier place in life, because my confidence has been low generally recently.

 

[F2005]

F2005..regarding the 'walk a mile in my shoes' argument - that comment is made a lot on here but i'm not convinced. A lot of the time I think a NW6 looks neater and tidier than a NW3V or NW4 where the bald patches are obvious. I've had my moments wishing it would all just go rather than the diffuse/pattern i've got. But really it's all irrelevant...there are millions of guys in the world who have no problem being bald. At the end of the day it comes down to mindset.
I don't believe for a minute that 'most' bald guys are secretly depressed and hating it. Everybody has their insecurities and while maybe most would get their hair back if they could flick a switch, i'm sure most don't really care enough to let it trouble their minds on a regular basis. This forum brings together the people who are most bothered by hair loss - it is probably made up of guys with already low confidence and self esteem and also maybe some BDD type issues. When i speak to my dad (grown out NW6) about whether hair loss bothered him, i know he means it when he says he barely gave it a second thought. His slight insecurity was about needing to wear glasses and not about his hair. His self esteem is based on achievments i think and not appearance. It's probably a very small percentage of guys who let hair loss bother them enough that it takes over their lives/completely ruins their confidence.

In the last few weeks i've posted videos of quite a few bald guys going out and picking up hot women with all the confidence in the world. The reactions are not 'urgh get away from me', yet if an alien were to read this forum then they'd think that being bald was some sort of death sentence.

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'Never get ahead'....well not if youre trying to model for head and shoulders, no. What else is it holding you back from? Ffs..p*sses me off a bit how sometimes people don't even try to be positive and instead pretend it's like losing two legs when you used to be a 100m runner.

I really do believe in the "walk a mile in my shoes" theory. Even on the Bald Truth, Spencer says that those who are not experiencing hair loss cannot even fathom the devastating effects it can have on a person's life, and have no business lecturing people on it. Similarly, I believe that those with very minimal hair loss (like NW2) cannot even begin to comprehend what it is like to be full-blown bald. The deterioration of outer looks, the terrible feeling every time you look in the mirror, the inability to feel comfortable in your own skin. These can only come from experiencing something for yourself, not just seeing how other people react to it. Or how you assume they react to it (when you say that there are supposedly millions of happy bald men out there). Believe me, I did the same thing when I was an NW2: looking at my 1 friend who handled hair loss well and just simply thought that I would shave my head and move on. But when it happens to you, it's an entirely different ballgame. You said how your hair loss has not changed a whole lot in the past 4 years, and I looked at the photo of you from the pre-production meeting (posted in 2011 I think), and you have what looks like a full head of hair, a bouffant in fact!!! It doesn't even look like you are more than an NW2 at the absolute most, with very thick hair in the front. Most people would not even think you are close to being bald. You talked about BDD and self-esteem issues, but many people would believe that you had BDD if you came on a hair loss forum with a thick head of hair like that. It's easy to preach confidence if you have a thick head of hair like that.


I welcome some positivity, but if it's from some one whose never been close to being bald themselves, then it's the same hollow, cliche advice that we hear from people with full heads of hair every day. Hypothetical and hollow advice about something that they firsthand know nothing about.


I watched some of the baldness videos/articles that you posted, but unfortunately lots of those guys just do not look good. In fact, one of them looked completely ridiculous; a young guy with a full grown-out horseshoe. The fact is that our outer looks play an extremely vital role in our lives, and influence everything from our ability to attract women to our confidence to our motivation to succeed in life. No one wants to go through life simply looking like a fragile shell of what they once were, especially since today's society is now much more image conscious than ever before. And even if women were indeed attracted to things like intelligence and confidence above all else, any self-respecting man takes great pride in looking the best that they can be. Any relationship needs physical attraction for it to be a healthy one, and unfortunately many women do not find bald/noticeably balding men to be attractive at all.