Ok, first of all I’m sorry for being such a pessimistic loser, but hairloss has taken its toll on me.
My androgenetic alopecia started the year I turned 21. At least that’s when I first noticed rapid thinning at the temples under certain lighting, creating like a "plank of hair" in the center. I went through the three stages that all balding guys have to go through real fast… self-delusion, depression and semi-accpetance, expect there‘s never real accpetance because balding brings such a drastic change in the quality of life that my existence has pretty much become a roller coaster since with days where I am at peace with my new appereance and days where it haunts me even in my sleep. More of the latter actually.
I’m turning 27 this year and I’m currently in the early stages of NW3 Vertex with some diffuse thinng all over on top (probably NW4 soon). It looks horrible and doesn’t suit me at all. I used to have thick, dark hair in my teenage days and I can definitely say it was my single best feature, getting compliments from girls and barbers alike felt great and I never spent much time thinking about the possibility of going bald young, which was kinda ignorant given that ¾ of my close male relatives are NW5 and up.
About 2 years ago I got so frustrated with my hair that I shaved it all off with a razor and be done with it already („just shave it bro“). I was happy with the result. Almost ideal headshape, which is more than can be said about a lot of bald guys and my cheekbones kinda saved me. Only problem: I’m pale like a ghost and tanning takes like forever to get the most pathetic results. I have to spend hundreds of euros in the solarium to look average during fall and winter, not to mention dark hair and pastry skin creates the illusion of grey/silver scalp which just looks comically bad, especially on the dreaded sides. Did I mention that I have a young face with femine features like big cheekbones and short nose, I even got carded reglurary during my NW2 days… Yeah, not cool when you're balding.
So media convinced me to go to he gym because muscular bald guys with stubble are hot, right? … Wrong. Hypermasculine guys are hot.
For almost 2 years I became the most dedicated guy at my local gym to a point where the other regulars were making fun at my religiously regimen, training 5 days a week and cardio during weekends. I learned pretty fast that natural bodybuilding once again is 100% genetic. As a 5‘10‘‘ guy with joints like a petite woman I will never look like the Rock, or even the standard buff guys around. My fairly wide shoulders and narrow waist/hips created the illusion of an athletic body real fast and I was happy with the results, only problem I’m still balding, so normal standrads do not apply to me any more, I have to look better than anyone else to compete and that’s where it mentally started to destroy me. With a full head of hair and a beach body like that I would have cleaned up the girls, but with a bald head I just looked like a pathetic, overcompensating loser.
Let me tell you this, and I'm sure most bald guys agree… balding ist he biggest fall from grace with the girls. Nothing else comes even close, and nothing makes you age faster than a fucked up hairline and vertex thinning. I see mediocre looking, skinny guys with acne dating pretty girl all the time. I’ve never seen a single skinny bald guy with a decent girl. The only bald guys that are doing fine with women are hypermasculine brutes that look like they should be bald by default, like 5% of the male population.
The few experiences I’ve had with girls ever since were very meager to say the least. One flat out told me that I was "nice and all" but not her type due to lack of hair. She was young, so I focused on girls 22+. One time a NW0 Fuaxhawk took my date, which is probably the most demoralizing thing I have experienced so far, I almost drowned myself with Whisky that night. I’ve only had sex once in the last half decade and I was drunk, in a car and with a shitty condom. It was awful and the girl acted like it didn’t happen.
So yeah… To cut a long story short, I have experienced the biggest burnout since with severe anxiety, depression and even erectile dysfuntion due to self-hate. Doctors can’t help me because they’re completely ignorant about balding and its effect on the dating market in the current social media age. What I do is getting drunk, sleeping and playing video games. I haven’t shaved in weeks, because I have zero motivation to do so. Life is pretty much over for me at 27.
I’m not taking finasteride, because the permenent side effects like gyno, ED and moonface scare the sh*t out of me and I can’t afford it. I tried minoxidil once but it didn’t do much except for shedding and causing an itchy scalp. I even tried dozens of naturopathy meds for hairloss… all just scams. Never seen a decent hair transplanet either, all it does is scar your sclap and give you some flimsy hair to cover up. Not what I consider quality of life.
I'm sorry if some teenage NW4+ that have to read this, but let me tell you that NW3Vertex in your 20s isn't much better in todays society when 80% of guys still have a healthy head of hair. One of my mother's cousins went completely bald with19/20 and he seems like a cool, self-satisfied guy, even has a decent looking wife. But even he told me that his adolescene in the 70s was H E L L and it took him till his late 30s to find the one.
At the moment it doesn’t look like I will make it past 30. Hair for me is like a video game health bar, once it's gone it’s Game Over for the majority of guys.
f*** this world.
