Message to God

[Jude]

Dear God,

Please stop making my hair fall out. It's destroying my entire life.

Thanks in advance,

Jude.

 

[Deaner]

Stop requesting stupid things from me, I don't have time. Plus, my hair's falling out too, so suck it up!

 

[hair mchair]

Jesus was bald.

 

[Guest]

Jesus was bald.

Jesus wore a piece, you could see the mesh in that TV 12 part thing they did a couple of years back, moses was bald too.

 

[The Gardener]

Jesus was bald.

That's true. From the Gospel of Upjohn 3:15 "and as he walked towards the river, Upjohn the Baptist said to Jesus 'come and let me douse your head in the waters of the Jordan, baldy, and thine head will no longer shine. And I shall anoint you head with herbs and seeds, oils and myrrh, holy waters and propelyne glycol. And take this pill today, and everyday, but remain chaste as your seed of life will become precious and hard to muster'".

 

[djApolloCreed]

I don't think Jesus was bald. He didn't have the testosterone for it.

 

[blue]

Jesus didnt have enough testosterone?
Are you on drugs?

 

[JesusFreak]

It is not God's will that you lose your hair!

"So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones (follicles) should perish."

Jesus

What else was Jesus talking about?? It had to be my little hair follicles. You cannot argue with the perfect word of God. Do not try to prove me incorrect for you blasphemy the word thy God. Do not oppose me or you will burn in everlasting hell with all the other bald people. You bald pagans need to repent. Balding is a curse for jerking off to daddys penthouse when you were 13. Turn away from sin and regrow your hair with a godly combover like the chosen one Benny Hinn.

 

[hair mchair]

Doesn't anyone remember the story of Jesus and The Bald Man: "Lord, I am not worthy to have you in my house. But only say the word, and I will regrow."

 

[The Gardener]

Our father who art in heaven
hallowed be thy name, thy regrowth come, thy will be done
give me, my scalp, my daily sprouts, and forgive me my regime sloppiness,
as I forgive those who are sloppy with me
and lead me not to irritation but deliver me from sheds
for thine is el pelo, the hair, and the David Schwimmer hairline forever
Amen!

 

[Guest]

Listen if you want regrowth give up this God stuff and start praying and making sacrifices to the main man in black, the horned mofo with the scaly pecker, the dark lord, the bad mother with 666 tattooed on his schlong, Satan himself.

Satan rules - God is for fools. :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

 

[hair mchair]

Zimmy,

You are mistaken my friend. Jesus speaks of the Anti-Christ in the Bible when he says, "Many false prophets will arise, claiming to be me and promising to regrow hair. Yet I have not come."

 

[Guest]

Ever since I added some Satanic semen to my minoxidil ive had amazing regrowth. Ive grown horns but that is thew only side effect. Women also cant get enough of the Z-man now as I radiate badness not baldness.

Give unto the Dark Lord and ye shall have redemption.

 

[The Gardener]

Zimmy, you're a dirty man. Keep it up.

 

[hair mchair]

God wants you to be bald so you'll have less opportunities to sin against him.