G
Guest
Guest
It was a warm summer evening in late August 2004. The wine was flowing, friends were chatting like chimps up in a rainforest canopy.
The smell of freshly cooked burgers filled the air and everyone was having a fantastic time enjoying the last of the summer nights before it gave way to the chill of Autumn, and then finally giving way to the cold dark nights of winter.
Sitting back in my chair, I watched everyone else talking and relaxing together. It was the most perfect night that you could ever wish for. It was 8:30 when everyone retired to the outhouse. There was cool chill in the air so it made sense. I lit the natural gas fire and dimmed the lights. I opened my best malt that had been aged for 19 years and began to chat with the others. It was very Smokey malt that everyone enjoyed.
The conversation swayed to and throws for a while until one person decided to tell a ghost story. By now all you could see from the outhouse were the black silhouettes of the trees against the last dying embers of daylight. It was a crisp clear night with just a few wispy clouds making there way across the sky. The stars had also decided to slowly reveal themselves after a day of rest.
We were all sat around a small wooden table, I dimmed the lights further and lit a single gas lamp at the centre, our shadows were dancing around behind us in a mad frenzy, eager to listen in on our conversation. After a few stories had passed it was time for everyone to leave for the evening. Walking to the end of the drive waving goodbye to my last guest I noticed something in the trees in front of me. I could not quite make it out so I decided to cross the road. I looked to the left to see the red lights of a car disappearing into the night. By now it was pitch black and my only comfort was the porch light some 50 yards away.
I gazed up into the tree but could not make out what was up there; I decided to climb up a take a closer look. I first had to make my way through some brambles and stinging nettles before I could climb onto the tree.
It was a very thick tall tree covered with dark green leaves. As I reached up to the first branch I stopped and listened. I gulped and started to feel scared. I could here someone asking me to come closer in a deep and almost surreal voice. I took my hand off the branch and lowered myself. Again the voice called me to come closer.
I was starting to feel really scared by now. I noticed a large stick by my foot. I decided to pick it up and use it as a weapon in case I had to defend myself. I looked back at the house and could see a frenzy of moths buzzing around my porch light.
Come closer the voice said. I could not see a thing. I tried my best to look deep into the trees but by now my eyes were confused after looking at the porch light. I decided to climb the tree once again. I reached up again to the first branch and pulled myself up until I could rest my right foot on a bump in the tree. I then slowly made my way up the tree. With every move I made I could here the voice louder and louder. I looked up and could just make out a dark mysterious figure. It was hideous. It stunk like nothing of this earth. I made my way closer and closer. I slowly got closer and closer.
I decided that enough was enough and made my way back to the house. I felt a little guilty knowing that someone wanted me so much. I ran to the kitchen and fetched a bowl and filled it with milk and some crunchy nut cornflakes. I left it at the bottom of the tree.
This went on for a number of nights, which eventually turned, into weeks. I got more and more adventurous. I started to lace the crunchy nut cornflakes with finasteride and min. If this creature had a balding problem as well as an enlarged prostate then this would surely help.
After a month I noticed that the breakfast bowl was filled with hair each morning. I could not understand this. My heart was pounding. I decided to go and take a look. That night I climbed the tree. The voice still calling out to me. When I eventually got there I was shocked to see this creature.
What is your name I asked? "I am Gunner" it replied. "I had a full head of hair before started with that crunchy nut bollocks. You have ruined my life. I am now stuck here forever. Not able to leave because of ridicule from others". There there I said. "Don't worry Gunner, just keep popping that finasteride and min and it will all grow back". Trust me I said.
I kissed his cheek returned home
The smell of freshly cooked burgers filled the air and everyone was having a fantastic time enjoying the last of the summer nights before it gave way to the chill of Autumn, and then finally giving way to the cold dark nights of winter.
Sitting back in my chair, I watched everyone else talking and relaxing together. It was the most perfect night that you could ever wish for. It was 8:30 when everyone retired to the outhouse. There was cool chill in the air so it made sense. I lit the natural gas fire and dimmed the lights. I opened my best malt that had been aged for 19 years and began to chat with the others. It was very Smokey malt that everyone enjoyed.
The conversation swayed to and throws for a while until one person decided to tell a ghost story. By now all you could see from the outhouse were the black silhouettes of the trees against the last dying embers of daylight. It was a crisp clear night with just a few wispy clouds making there way across the sky. The stars had also decided to slowly reveal themselves after a day of rest.
We were all sat around a small wooden table, I dimmed the lights further and lit a single gas lamp at the centre, our shadows were dancing around behind us in a mad frenzy, eager to listen in on our conversation. After a few stories had passed it was time for everyone to leave for the evening. Walking to the end of the drive waving goodbye to my last guest I noticed something in the trees in front of me. I could not quite make it out so I decided to cross the road. I looked to the left to see the red lights of a car disappearing into the night. By now it was pitch black and my only comfort was the porch light some 50 yards away.
I gazed up into the tree but could not make out what was up there; I decided to climb up a take a closer look. I first had to make my way through some brambles and stinging nettles before I could climb onto the tree.
It was a very thick tall tree covered with dark green leaves. As I reached up to the first branch I stopped and listened. I gulped and started to feel scared. I could here someone asking me to come closer in a deep and almost surreal voice. I took my hand off the branch and lowered myself. Again the voice called me to come closer.
I was starting to feel really scared by now. I noticed a large stick by my foot. I decided to pick it up and use it as a weapon in case I had to defend myself. I looked back at the house and could see a frenzy of moths buzzing around my porch light.
Come closer the voice said. I could not see a thing. I tried my best to look deep into the trees but by now my eyes were confused after looking at the porch light. I decided to climb the tree once again. I reached up again to the first branch and pulled myself up until I could rest my right foot on a bump in the tree. I then slowly made my way up the tree. With every move I made I could here the voice louder and louder. I looked up and could just make out a dark mysterious figure. It was hideous. It stunk like nothing of this earth. I made my way closer and closer. I slowly got closer and closer.
I decided that enough was enough and made my way back to the house. I felt a little guilty knowing that someone wanted me so much. I ran to the kitchen and fetched a bowl and filled it with milk and some crunchy nut cornflakes. I left it at the bottom of the tree.
This went on for a number of nights, which eventually turned, into weeks. I got more and more adventurous. I started to lace the crunchy nut cornflakes with finasteride and min. If this creature had a balding problem as well as an enlarged prostate then this would surely help.
After a month I noticed that the breakfast bowl was filled with hair each morning. I could not understand this. My heart was pounding. I decided to go and take a look. That night I climbed the tree. The voice still calling out to me. When I eventually got there I was shocked to see this creature.
What is your name I asked? "I am Gunner" it replied. "I had a full head of hair before started with that crunchy nut bollocks. You have ruined my life. I am now stuck here forever. Not able to leave because of ridicule from others". There there I said. "Don't worry Gunner, just keep popping that finasteride and min and it will all grow back". Trust me I said.
I kissed his cheek returned home
