new on board

[seb]

Ive been lurking on this site for a couple of weeks now,and would like too tell my story.I started losing my hair at 18,kept a horseshoe until 24,and then went competely sly.It never really bothered me going bald,until i left home and intergrated into the real world.I am now 33,and it affects me more being bald now than it did in my late teens/twenties.The reason being,is nothing too do with women,but how society percieves people with shaved heads/bald heads.The amount of crap ive had over the years for looking like this is unbelievable.Ive been denied jobs(factory,not professional!),been told by people that they wouldnt employ me if they were an employer,because im "intimidating looking",any many other degrading and negative comments.
Now im quite a big bloke,just over 6ft 2,and 17st(been told many times i look like stone cold),but the weekly abuse i get is a joke.
Ive been reading alot of uncomfortables man posts,and my heart goes out too him.People on here seem too not believe his stories,and think him paranoid.Trust me society as a whole despises bald/shaven headed men.Im from the Uk by the way.

 

[HairPieceMan]

welcome to the forum

yes being WHITE and BALD as a young adult means you don't really fit into society 100%, its not like being conventionally unnatractive or being overweight, it is entirely different.

your baldness is only tolerated in small doses (for your peer group) and it's frustrating.

what is really bad is if you try to fix it with a hairpiece or a hair transplant people will thinkg your "crazy" or "vain" or "insecure" to not accept the negateive social stigma of baldness.

its like

1. people do not like your baldness
2. people execpt you to accept your baldness and all the negateive social discrimation you will face for it
3. if you try to make yourself look normal/natural again you will be dubbed "vain".

FYI people with hair aren't perfect, they are normal.

 

[seb]

Yeah i agree,although for me its not really about fitting in society(certainly not in todays materialistic one),but being treated with common decency as a human being.I just want too be left alone,and not be constantly asked "am i a bouncer", "i wouldnt want too meet you on a dark night" etc.

 

[HairPieceMan]

may i ask what weekly abuse do you get

what sort of comments do you get from people, if you don't mind sharing.

also you may want to consider a weekly spray tan and earings, possibly a goutee.

 

[HairPieceMan]

admittedly if you had a horshoe ring you woulnd't be asked those questions.

it's because being sly bald is an actual style/fashion statement so it's a little differnt to the TRUE bald guys with teh thick horshoe ring.

 

[seb]

Good point,but ive had a horseshoe,and for me it obviously highlights the fact that you have male pattern baldness,thus placing yourself under even more attack.Im not embarassed by being bald,and shaving my head,but would be walking around with a ginger horseshoe,especially at 33.

 

[HairPieceMan]

try an andre agassi beard tied into horshoe clipped down thing.

statham does that as well, as does bruce willis in tears of the sun.

just an option.

you should be thankful that you at least fit into some positive stereotype for baldness.

im 5 5 and bald and it literally makes NO SENSE for me to be bald im basically a 1 in 10,000 freak, i hardly ever find another person like me in the street, id have to shiv through about 200 young men to find someone as fucked as me at 25 ^_^

 

[seb]

Fair point,i know i dont look terrible for being bald,i suppose im just going through a bad patch in my life at the moment,and im feeling sorry for myself.

 

[uncomfortable man]

may i ask what weekly abuse do you get

what sort of comments do you get from people, if you don't mind sharing.

also you may want to consider a weekly spray tan and earings, possibly a goutee.

He just gave two examples of the kind of comments he gets... and I think dressing him up like Mr. Clean is going to have the opposite effect of what he wants.

Welcome to the forum Seb. Even though we are on different sides of the pond, we face the same hostile attitudes and deal with the same sh*t. Just today I was out without my hat at some shopping center, walking down the sidewalk and a woman in her thirties turned her head and held her hand over her eyes (like blinders) before she passed me.... and no the sun was not in her eyes. It's blatantly rude sh*t like this that seems to happen to me whenever I go out uncovered... which is why I tend to wear the beanie.

If you choose to post here then just be aware that you are going to have to fight to get your point across because there are many here who will try their hardest to discredit you.

 

[seb]

Hello u.man,that incidence you have encountered is terrible.As stated before i feel for you because i have gone(and am still going)through what you are.
Hair piece man makes an interesting point about head shaving as percieved as a fashion statement,although for people like me,and im sure yourself,going sly is the best "style" we can have.Thus many people think ive not got male pattern baldness,and just choose too shave off all my hair.Even my uncle said once "why dont you grow your hair back" lol.
I find the main abuse i get is borne out of the fact i choose too go sly,thus along with being fairly big,creates an image in most peoples head of someone who chooses too shave because they are a thug,neo-nazi etc.Therefore many people want too test me out,requiring me too constantly stand up for myself.
One guy at work even said "you look like a challenge".

 

[bigentries]

He just gave two examples of the kind of comments he gets... and I think dressing him up like Mr. Clean is going to have the opposite effect of what he wants.

Welcome to the forum Seb. Even though we are on different sides of the pond, we face the same hostile attitudes and deal with the same sh*t. Just today I was out without my hat at some shopping center, walking down the sidewalk and a woman in her thirties turned her head and held her hand over her eyes (like blinders) before she passed me.... and no the sun was not in her eyes. It's blatantly rude sh*t like this that seems to happen to me whenever I go out uncovered... which is why I tend to wear the beanie.

If you choose to post here then just be aware that you are going to have to fight to get your point across because there are many here who will try their hardest to discredit you.

I'm always surprised at the reactions you get. Considering you have a perfect head shape and an attractive face

Kids used to bully me because of my weird skull, and I'm definitely not an attractive man, hair or not. Yet the 6-8 months I either buzzed or shaved my head I can't say I encountered animosity from outsiders.
I was the biggest joke at the office for a week or so, but with so many guys with shaved heads around here, the novelty passed away fast.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Sometimes HPM says some relevant, even profound things but most of the time his message is pretty garbled. I need to clear this up...

A hairstyle means that you have a choice. Sure, bald guys can choose to grow their hair out but social perception almost prohibits it to the point where most all bald guys feel like they have to shave. There isn't much freedom of choice involved. Therefore, I feel like when a bald man shaves his head out of social obligation it no longer becomes a style. It's a compromise, it's the lesser of two evils, it's damage control.

 

[seb]

Like someone said too me once,"this is the best i can look"...

 

[uncomfortable man]

What's so frustrating about it is that it should be common knowledge that male pattern baldness is genetic... it's not our fault. But yet people don't seem to care and judge us with cruelty anyway. I've lost alot of faith in the inherit goodness of people as a result of this.

 

[seb]

Is it right you live in california?.Ive been too Boston,about 10years ago,and really liked the place.I may be making unfound assumptions,but aren't places like california,miami,la ect very image orientated?Being 6ft 2,and having a bald head is not going too be the norm,thus placing you under constant scutiny.

 

[HairPieceMan]

Sometimes HPM says some relevant, even profound things but most of the time his message is pretty garbled. I need to clear this up...

A hairstyle means that you have a choice. Sure, bald guys can choose to grow their hair out but social perception almost prohibits it to the point where most all bald guys feel like they have to shave. There isn't much freedom of choice involved. Therefore, I feel like when a bald man shaves his head out of social obligation it no longer becomes a style. It's a compromise, it's the lesser of two evils, it's damage control.

yes but if you are shaving to the bone its kinda hard to tell if the guy is genetically bald espceially if he has light brown hair.

i still think having no hair is a fashion statement, its just that pepople usually assume you are at least balding.

also i DO see a lot of people growing out their hair , tieing beards into horshoe, andre agassi does that a lot,its not as if society isn't alllowing him to do that.

so my point is that peopel dont know whtehr you are doing damage control or wether you doign it through choice.

 

[uncomfortable man]

HPM, sometimes I wonder if you are really bald. Unless you are black or have light hair + tan, it doesn't matter how close you shave it you can always see the horseshoe. Perhaps you need to schedule another Lasik's appointment.

Yes Seb, I live in northern CA. It's not as bad as socal, with Hollywood and everything but social stigma for baldness doesn't recognize any borders unfortunately.

 

[twenty.five]

may i ask what weekly abuse do you get

what sort of comments do you get from people, if you don't mind sharing.

also you may want to consider a weekly spray tan and earings, possibly a goutee.

He just gave two examples of the kind of comments he gets... and I think dressing him up like Mr. Clean is going to have the opposite effect of what he wants.

Welcome to the forum Seb. Even though we are on different sides of the pond, we face the same hostile attitudes and deal with the same sh*t. Just today I was out without my hat at some shopping center, walking down the sidewalk and a woman in her thirties turned her head and held her hand over her eyes (like blinders) before she passed me.... and no the sun was not in her eyes. It's blatantly rude sh*t like this that seems to happen to me whenever I go out uncovered... which is why I tend to wear the beanie.

If you choose to post here then just be aware that you are going to have to fight to get your point across because there are many here who will try their hardest to discredit you.

Why on earth would you think that has anything to do with you? Do you think that any person you encounter has you on their mind?

What's you're complaining about makes no sense ... do you honestly think that she did that because she didn't want to look at you or something?

Newsflash: she probably didn't even notice you. You're not some special bald guy. She probably sees dozens of bald guys a day, and it means nothing to her. She doesn't cover up her face every time she sees one.

 

[HairPieceMan]

im not sure ucman.

i have ash brown hair, its very light, you can stillsee the horshoe at the side but only in certain lighting conditions.

i have frontal thinning, so that means the hair at the sides is slightly stronger than the front.

BUT, im BALDING in the horshoe, what you have to understand is i have DIFFUSE horshoe, its really unique.

so as i said im not like normal bald people, im balding everywhere including horshoe, im slick NW5 with DIFFUSE horshoe that is LIGHT BROWN.

i wonder how kerry king does so well to cover his horshoe pattern, since he has dark hair (and i asumme thick) as well as satch.

 

[uncomfortable man]

[quote="uncomfortable man":2bpvil67]

may i ask what weekly abuse do you get

what sort of comments do you get from people, if you don't mind sharing.

also you may want to consider a weekly spray tan and earings, possibly a goutee.

He just gave two examples of the kind of comments he gets... and I think dressing him up like Mr. Clean is going to have the opposite effect of what he wants.

Welcome to the forum Seb. Even though we are on different sides of the pond, we face the same hostile attitudes and deal with the same sh*t. Just today I was out without my hat at some shopping center, walking down the sidewalk and a woman in her thirties turned her head and held her hand over her eyes (like blinders) before she passed me.... and no the sun was not in her eyes. It's blatantly rude sh*t like this that seems to happen to me whenever I go out uncovered... which is why I tend to wear the beanie.

If you choose to post here then just be aware that you are going to have to fight to get your point across because there are many here who will try their hardest to discredit you.

Why on earth would you think that has anything to do with you? Do you think that any person you encounter has you on their mind?

What's you're complaining about makes no sense ... do you honestly think that she did that because she didn't want to look at you or something?

Newsflash: she probably didn't even notice you. You're not some special bald guy. She probably sees dozens of bald guys a day, and it means nothing to her. She doesn't cover up her face every time she sees one.[/quote:2bpvil67]
It was a moment in passing which I'm sure she forgot about minutes later but for me the impression lasts longer since I have to process that negativity. I don't have to be special to have people respond to my appearance in an insulting way. People have eyes and they use them to look at other people and sometimes they react to what they see. If it were some handsome guy instead then she might react by turning her head and smiling at him, maybe flutter her eyelashes.... does that make the handsome guy any more "special" because she took a moment to visually respond to him? No, I don't think so. If EVERYONE stopped and starred at me then that would be something else... something surreal, but I'm not claiming that. But the reactions I do get are enough to trouble and irritate me. Fair enough?

I'm sorry but why are you even here? Do you have alopecia? If you do you know there is a whole section for women here for you to post in. Ever since you have arrived on this board you have engaged it's members with a very morally superior than thou attitude that comes off as being very matronizing.