Newbie. 19. male pattern baldness + too many other issues to list.

[coconut]

Hi there.

Of all places and forums, I never would have expected myself to end up here; at least not this early in my life.

While I'm currently experiencing extreme mental issues, I'd like to keep this professional and easy to follow.

I'm Dan. I started losing my hair late into age 17. Currently 19 as of a few weeks ago. Around a Norwood 2.5

I've been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder/social phobia when I was around 13, and clinical depression around 16.
I'm homosexual, and I've always considered my appearance to be highly feminine, and that has been my favorite part about myself for a good few years now.
Lately, I've wanted to decrease my masculinity further while still identifying as male in gender, but that's essentially been halted by my hairloss, as I typically aim for an androgynous hairstyle, and I'm absolutely distraught over that.
My first thought to myself was, "Oh, I'll just get a wig or something when I need it." But, as it turns out, that's looked down upon in this community and is shown as a sign of insecurity. Insecurity: story of my life.

I'm currently on the SSRI Paxil (25 mg) and have been for a number of years, currently experiencing side effects of lowered libido, erectile dysfunction, and so on.

My core issue stems with my identity/presentation. I want to be something I can't, simply because of my hairloss. I hate looking masculine whatsoever, and baldness is essentially the epitome of masculinity (or so I've been told). Even if I were open to the idea, it's not like I'm able to grow any facial hair to complement it.

I've considered finasterside greatly, but I fear that it may further decrease my sexual ability to the point where I'll literally be asexual against my will, and I won't even be able to lose my virginity. And what's with some people saying cancer is side effect of it? Sounds bizarre, but I'm inclined to believe it.


I'm becoming more suicidal every day because I can't be who I feel I am due to hairloss. My anxiety and depression are magnifying my adverse feelings about this exponentially.

Are wigs that freaking bad?

Thanks for your time,
Dan.

 

[TD500]

I'm also on paxil have been for the greater part of my life, but have not experienced any sides such as yours. Only reason I'm still on it is because I fear the SSRI withdrawal symptoms I went through last time I tried to cold turkey. I'm still on it as advised by my doctor though. finasteride actually decreases your chances to get prostate cancer I believe.

Chances are if finasteride makes things worse you could stop and the sides should subside or power through it and see if the sides disappear.

 

[recedingyt]

Hello Dan,

I am facing similar issues although I am not homosexual exactly, but transgendered. I didn't allow myself to admit this to anyone (even myself) until my hair was very much ****ed, honestly. I'm a NW5 now at only 22 years old. So I kind of know what you're going through - wanting to look less masculine and more feminine. I also know that this is not the end, and you don't have to feel suicidal. There are things you can do and you can take this into your own hands if you want. I suggest speaking to a dermatologist ASAP and seeing about getting on finasteride or dutasteride. That, or you could order it online from alldaychemist like I do. It's about $65 for a year's supply of Fincar (including shipping) which is the same thing as Finasteride, just in a 5mg dose. You split it in quarters and take 1.25mg a day. Side effects, despite what the horror stories online will lead you to believe, are quite rare and reversible 99% of the time. It's worth a shot if you believe solving this issue will improve your quality of life. Don't forget to also use minoxidil too of course.

I'd hate to recommend oral spironolactone to someone without gender issues but it may also be something for you to consider, but it will feminize you (gynecomastia is quite common) and carries its own risks of sexual impairment (and it's a lot more likely to happen on spironolactone than finasteride too). Perhaps you could try a low dose and see how it works for you. It will make your skin flawless lol. As for wigs... I can't really say, I only have really cheap ones right now and honestly I hate them. They look alright but they're incredibly annoying and I'm constantly worried about whether or not people can tell. Taking care of them is a task in and of itself too and I also get really itchy with one on.

If you ever need someone to talk to, PM me please. You don't sound like you're in a good place right now mentally and talking to someone who knows what you're going through and why its important to you might help.

 

[coconut]

Truly, I thank you for your thoughtful words. I woke up this morning, and I made sure to check this before I left for class. I wasn't expecting anything nearly as comforting as what you supplied. In fact, I was expecting to be ridiculed, or something along those lines.

I want to be feminine, yes, but I still want to identify as male. I've never heard of spironolactone, honestly, but I don't think it's for me. Propecia seems fine, but I honestly fear minoxidil quite a lot. The initial shedding, combined with the fear of my hairs being gone completely if I do stop the drug (aka accelerating the process). I honestly don't mind my hairline as much as how thin I've been getting in certain areas. I recently started using Biota shampoo which is supposed to slow hairloss significantly, and promote increased thickness. I've only been using it for about 3 weeks, and it's said to take 2-3 months for any noticeable difference, but I'm hopeful. In addition, I've included OGX biotin and collagen conditioner to my hair-cleaning routine. I've noticed significantly less hair fall since I started, and I'm also hopeful about this. Probably going to be starting a black currant oil and saw palmetto regimen soon, to complement. Hopeful.. I keep using that word.

I've requested to see a dermatologist, but my mother says my insurance is unlikely to cover it (why it wouldn't be covered, I don't know).

I'm at the point in the day where I actually feel fine, but I fear that I'll return to how I was yesterday, as I typically do. I suppose it could be the fact that my mind was occupied by my classes.
I've lately felt like I may have some form of bipolar disorder, but I've no conclusive evidence, and I'm certainly not going to mention it to my physician, in fear of being prescribed yet another medication. Just another thing I have to deal with.
Anyway, thanks again for your comments. They did help me get through the day knowing that I'm not the only one suffering with male pattern baldness and femininity issues.

Thanks,
Dan

 

[zzzzz]

start finasteride most people don't have any change in their libido