Nicest Rejection Ever But Still Painful

[DBW]

See below:

"Hi DBW,

Yep you got the right email and this is really sweet of you! That would be great to hang out more, I totally appreciate how distancing it must feel to be separate from our year in XXXXX and we don't get to see you apart from in XXXXXX. Maybe in terms of meeting up just us though, we could keep it very chilled so like after lectures or something we could just get a coffee at XXXXX? Or Ania, Rebecca, David and I are keen to have lunch at XXXXX more (your food is so much better than here, espec. salad bar - we are v jealous) so definitely we should coordinate that so you can come join, if you want.

But yeah just so it's clear, without being weird about it (sorry if I am), a coffee would be great - just as a nice, friendly kinda thing. And then yeah I'm sure the conversation possibilities would be endless! Although, owing to my total state of fear at XXXXX, I might have just blocked that whole experience from my memory so we might have to find something other than that.

Anyway, v long and rambly response (as with all of my essays, ever) but I hope we're on the same (Christopher) page - my number's XXXXXXXXXX if you wanna just drop me a text and we can sort something out sometime.

Laura x"

First girl I've tried to initiate anything with since my disfigurement. We see each other fairly regularly in some classes but don't get much time to talk so I emailed her seeing if she wanted to hang out more - implicitly as a date. We get on well, share a laugh and a joke, but yeah, I knew she was out of my league. Really cute, witty 7-8/10. As you can see, she let me down gently, but it's still pretty crushing. Maybe if I'd asked her out in person, it might have been different? I dunno, but I don't think so, we don't get many opportunities to chat, except in group situations and trying to hit on her in front of an audience would have just embarrassed her. Anyway, I post this as evidence that not all women are b****s. I do wish one would find me attractive though

 

[shookwun]

Brutal reality check.


She's doing everything in her power to enslave your masculinity from this little message.

Those POWER words/terms: Keeping it simple, Friendly,


Just so it's not 'weird' we should have coffee. Ouch..

Most likely wants to meet during the day, and after a lecture around other students. Everything in her power to make sure you guys are around other people, and not alone.




Sorry man, but she put you on BLAST.

f*** her. Politely disregard her.

 

[DBW]

Brutal reality check.


She's doing everything in her power to enslave your masculinity from this little message.

Those POWER words/terms: Keeping it simple, Friendly,


Just so it's not 'weird' we should have coffee. Ouch..

Most likely wants to meet during the day, and after a lecture around other students. Everything in her power to make sure you guys are around other people, and not alone.




Sorry man, but she put you on BLAST.

f*** her. Politely disregard her.

Yeah. Just wasn't "confident" enough I guess.

 

[SBAmerican]

See below:

"Hi DBW,

Yep you got the right email and this is really sweet of you! That would be great to hang out more, I totally appreciate how distancing it must feel to be separate from our year in XXXXX and we don't get to see you apart from in XXXXXX. Maybe in terms of meeting up just us though, we could keep it very chilled so like after lectures or something we could just get a coffee at XXXXX? Or Ania, Rebecca, David and I are keen to have lunch at XXXXX more (your food is so much better than here, espec. salad bar - we are v jealous) so definitely we should coordinate that so you can come join, if you want.

But yeah just so it's clear, without being weird about it (sorry if I am), a coffee would be great - just as a nice, friendly kinda thing. And then yeah I'm sure the conversation possibilities would be endless! Although, owing to my total state of fear at XXXXX, I might have just blocked that whole experience from my memory so we might have to find something other than that.

Anyway, v long and rambly response (as with all of my essays, ever) but I hope we're on the same (Christopher) page - my number's XXXXXXXXXX if you wanna just drop me a text and we can sort something out sometime.

Laura x"

First girl I've tried to initiate anything with since my disfigurement. We see each other fairly regularly in some classes but don't get much time to talk so I emailed her seeing if she wanted to hang out more - implicitly as a date. We get on well, share a laugh and a joke, but yeah, I knew she was out of my league. Really cute, witty 7-8/10. As you can see, she let me down gently, but it's still pretty crushing. Maybe if I'd asked her out in person, it might have been different? I dunno, but I don't think so, we don't get many opportunities to chat, except in group situations and trying to hit on her in front of an audience would have just embarrassed her. Anyway, I post this as evidence that not all women are b****s. I do wish one would find me attractive though

Well, at least she seems like a decent person. The better question is what do you look like? I'm not going to harp on the importance of confidence but do you dress well? Work out regularly and have a good body? Groom well? These are all things you can improve and build upon. Also, what is your Norwood?

 

[hairblues]

Well, at least she seems like a decent person. The better question is what do you look like? I'm not going to harp on the importance of confidence but do you dress well? Work out regularly and have a good body? Groom well? These are all things you can improve and build upon. Also, what is your Norwood?

I think he's just sharing i dont think he's asking for a make over.

 

[hairblues]

This is a girl who wants everyone to like her...

She could have gotten to the point in one sentence.

 

[DBW]

Well, at least she seems like a decent person. The better question is what do you look like? I'm not going to harp on the importance of confidence but do you dress well? Work out regularly and have a good body? Groom well? These are all things you can improve and build upon. Also, what is your Norwood?

NW6 with a disfiguring skin condition. Used to have the body of a fitness model. Not so much now. Body is fucked all over thanks to the skin thing. Thanks for the advice, but @hairblues was right; I was only sharing.

 

[SBAmerican]

NW6 with a disfiguring skin condition. Used to have the body of a fitness model. Not so much now. Body is fucked all over thanks to the skin thing. Thanks for the advice, but @hairblues was right; I was only sharing.

Have you sought treatment for your skin condition? Sorry to hear man. As for the Norwood6, you could always save up for a hair transplant to at least improve to a Norwood 3 depending on the doctor. There's always some hope(if you have the money) haha

 

[hairblues]

NW6 with a disfiguring skin condition. Used to have the body of a fitness model. Not so much now. Body is fucked all over thanks to the skin thing. Thanks for the advice, but @hairblues was right; I was only sharing.

this guy i went out with a few times i was not even that into him he sent me the 'nicest' rejection letter...it made me feel pathetic and i did not even like him--i would have preferred it if he ghosted out or said he met someone...it felt like he felt sorry for me and didn't want to hurt my feelings like i was f*****g delicate as china---well that stupid letter really hurt my feelings LOL and i did not even like him..but it was the point of 'rejecting me' as syrupy as he was making it.

And all we did was have a couple of coffee dates--no sexual chemistry--but that stupid letter still stings. its so weird.

 

[shookwun]

Well, at least she seems like a decent person. The better question is what do you look like? I'm not going to harp on the importance of confidence but do you dress well? Work out regularly and have a good body? Groom well? These are all things you can improve and build upon. Also, what is your Norwood?

 

[SBAmerican]

I think he's just sharing i dont think he's asking for a make over.

These are all things I wish someone would have said to me when I was going through the balding process. Who are you to judge my advice?

 

[DBW]

Have you sought treatment for your skin condition? Sorry to hear man. As for the Norwood6, you could always save up for a hair transplant to at least improve to a Norwood 3 depending on the doctor. There's always some hope(if you have the money) haha

Thanks for the kind words, but sadly this skin thing is untreatable. Transplant doesn't bother me, I'd sooner wear a wig. Anyway, though I don't think it's dupa or anything, my sides are far, far too thin for me to get any significant cosmetic mileage out of a surgery. As I said above, I was just sharing here really.

 

[shookwun]

Honestly, if you are a legitimate NW6 then a transplant will only put hair on your head, it wont give you an aesthetic result but you will have hair, and a frame. Will most likely need to shave it though, unless you're into the see through diffuse look.



Can you post a picture of your hair?

 

[hairblues]

Have you sought treatment for your skin condition? Sorry to hear man. As for the Norwood6, you could always save up for a hair transplant to at least improve to a Norwood 3 depending on the doctor. There's always some hope(if you have the money) haha

I did not judge you i gave an opinion on OP subtext of why he posted.

would you like for me to judge you and show you the difference is?

 

[shookwun]

this guy i went out with a few times i was not even that into him he sent me the 'nicest' rejection letter...it made me feel pathetic and i did not even like him--i would have preferred it if he ghosted out or said he met someone...it felt like he felt sorry for me and didn't want to hurt my feelings like i was f*****g delicate as china---well that stupid letter really hurt my feelings LOL and i did not even like him..but it was the point of 'rejecting me' as syrupy as he was making it.

And all we did was have a couple of coffee dates--no sexual chemistry--but that stupid letter still stings. its so weird.

Well yeah, who would expect the guy you thought was ugly to send you a rejection letter. One moment you feel sympathy, and sorrow for them & the next minute they are the ones sending you a rejection letter. It's a curve ball nobody expects.


As much as I hate ghosting or being ghosted, sometimes it is better that way.

 

[SBAmerican]

I did not judge you i gave an opinion on OP subtext of why he posted.

would you like for me to judge you and show you the difference is?

I understand. Sometimes it's difficult to tell over the internet whether someone is being mean-spirited/sarcastic. Not exactly, I don't like it when others judge me so I don't judge others.

 

[hairblues]

Well yeah, who would expect the guy you thought was ugly to send you a rejection letter. One moment you feel sympathy, and sorrow for them & the next minute they are the ones sending you a rejection letter. It's a curve ball nobody expects.


As much as I hate ghosting or being ghosted, sometimes it is better that way.

Actually he was not ugly he was nice looking---it was just sort of mutually meh no sexual spark/energy..but like the kind of situation you figure no one is going to contact anyone just 'fade out'...I think he was being a 'gentlemen' but it was sort of like 'well duh'.

 

[hairblues]

Out of interest, hb, are you African-American by chance?

No I am Italian American

 

[hairblues]

I understand. Sometimes it's difficult to tell over the internet whether someone is being mean-spirited/sarcastic. Not exactly, I don't like it when others judge me so I don't judge others.

Honestly if you dont like being judged if your sensitive about it then you might be in wrong place people are pretty blunt here.

 

[SBAmerican]

Honestly if you dont like being judged if your sensitive about it then you might be in wrong place people are pretty blunt here.

Oh believe me, I've developed a pretty thick skin from hair loss. I can take the heat in the kitchen lol sometimes it's better to hear the truth so you can get better from there.