I can only offer you guidance through my own experiences and the consequences of my choices and actions. It might turn out a bit TL;DR for you, but that's your choice. If at least some of it can help anyone then I'll be happy.
For the record, I am currently 22, 5'10 and a diffuse NW5 with some thinning on the sides (above&around the ears). Gone from good looking to destroyed by looking different
I'll share my story because of the chance that someone can understand it or maybe some of my experiences can help or comfort you or others who can relate to them. The hairloss wasn't the primary instigator of my problems, but in a way it was a catalyst and also the final straw. I had many other problems growing up that affected me negatively and shaped my experiences and outlook. I'm bipolar and suffer from a generalized anxiety disorder which I now take medication for. Up until the age of 16, I was a very introverted and reserved kid. I lived in my own head most of the time and spent most of my time outside of school online playing video games. Not because I felt outcast or couldn't fit in with others; I had loads of friends at school and on the internet, but I felt reality was pretty boring honestly and prefered to escape into the fantasy of books and games or create my own. In social situations I was hyperactive and talkative and had difficulty concentrating or sitting still in school, and I had pretty severe mood swings and moments of psychosis where I would act out violently from pent up aggression I stored. I never saw or talked to my parents much because of their jobs so instead to counter this I played a lot of sports and tried to be as active as possible to get rid of this energy. Eventually I started feeling progressively more stressed and unhappy about my life so around 16 I decided to change things around by opening up and becoming more social. It wasn't a drastic change really cuz I was always talkative and a clown in school, I just started participating more in things and hanging out after classes and changed some of my online friends for real life ones. Also ever since I hit puberty at around 12 my libido has been craaazyy and looking back I feel like I was horny all the time lol, so I was pretty
desperate to find a girl since by 16 I had virtually no experience and didn't want to remain that way forever
My life definitely improved back then, despite getting worse depressive episodes from time to time I tried to spend as little time alone as possible to shift the focus away, a complete 180 from what I was like before. Unfortunately I picked up some bad habits around this age like smoking and experimenting with drugs sometimes, and also I began smoking weed around that time. Only seldomly at first, then occasionally with friends or at parties, then every day and then a few times a day. I also managed to finally get laid (hooray) and while I never held down a steady gf, there were a few that I was seeing from time to time and hooking up with. Regrettably the good times didn't last long.
So about my hair, which I why I lurk around here for. I suspect I have DUPA (Diffused Unpatterned Alopecia) since I have general thinning all over and my dad has this, and him and his mother are the only people in my immediate family who show any signs of noticeable hairloss. My soft and very fine hair began to thin around when I turned 15 I guess, though I didn't really pay attention or care about it until the start of my Junior year in High School when I was 16. By then it was already noticeable that I was losing hair, first my temples thinned and then my hair began to lose density overall. I didn't even get to make it to graduation without my hair having noticeably thinned out. As an insecure introverted teenager with mental imbalances I already had low self esteem so this was very hard to deal with. I guess I'd call myself a hat prisoner for my entire senior year and onwards, but because I always had long hair and listened to metal since 8th grade I never took the piss for my hair in highschool thankfully. People definitely noticed how thin it was and made occasional remarks and told me to never cut it short, but I was fortunate enough to fit the stoner/skater look and make it through highschool being decently good looking (as long as it was a good hair day or I didn't take off my hat!). Eventually I convinced my mom to take me to a dermatologist who put me on propecia after I'd just turned 18, but after staying on it for about a year I didn't notice any improvement and I had a hard time following through with the daily doses sometimes and getting in contact with my doctor to renew my prescriptions in time so I dropped it (FYI not implying I consisently missed days, just that it was a hassle back then). I'm currently taking finasteride again, now 1mg EOD, approaching a year again. Also I was and still am using nizoral 2% keto shampoo.
So here comes the depressive part which I unfortunately must write. My hair worsened each year despite my preventive measures and I grew more despondent and resorted to weed and other drugs as distractions. I continued to grow out my hair and wore hats 90% of the time. I smoked weed constantly and was stoned everyday throughout the day, no matter what I was doing. My first year of university is a giant blur in my memory and its a miracle I somehow passed all my courses. My future outlook became more bleak, the psychoactive effects of the THC from the grams of weed I consumed daily exacerbated my psychosis (although it medicated my bipolar somewhat, I was always more happy and full of life after getting baked in contrast to miserable unstable sobriety) and also made me feel paranoid, which worsened my anxiety. Having no direction and my physical and mental condition deteriorating, I dropped out during my 2nd year of university and continued to only receive enjoyment from life under the effects of a nice strong high. I didn't have a job at this time and was broke so I supported my habits by selling as well as consuming the ganj. This got so out of hand that eventually I got into many legal troubles and during a particularly bad time in my life attempted suicide by hanging. My parents at this point finally intervened - clearly staying at home and having too much free time was leading me in a downward spiral, so I found a full time job which I worked at for over an entire year during what would have been my 3rd year at uni. My dad tried to reassure me by telling me that he too began to lose his hair at a young age - about 18 - but it progressed slowly and stopped at a certain point in his late 20s and maintained for over 30 years. While his hair is noticeable thin (even on the sides and to a lesser extent the donor area as well :/) he still has a good amount of hair left in his early 60s. This was the argument I always fell back on in my teenage years too, this delusion that it would be OK and my hair would just stop thinning further and I would be happy maintaining what I have, since noone in my family is bald. It seemed that my hairloss slowed down without meds so I accepted his story and figured that somewhere down the road after the state of my hair had settled that I could just get a hair transplant to fill in the density.
Well, after saving up enough money to pay for my return to school I had re-enrolled in a program that I liked and was successful in, having quit abusing substances and a new found focus on my education. Then despite being on finasteride my hair absolutely tanked and shed non-stop from August 2012 - March 2013. I was already an NW2 with a noticeable NW5 diffuse pattern, you could see through my hair at the crown and from my hairline all the way to the middle of my head. I alternated between wearing hats and using toppik/nanogen fibers, but I'd literally have to dunk my entire head into a bucket of nanogen to be able to hang around people without anyone pointing out how thin my hair is and how I'm balding heavily. My last ditch effort was to order a hairpiece before I had to shave the remaining hair I had, so I spent a few months religiously researching hairpieces and posting on messageboards to the point where it began to interfere with my schoolwork. I ordered a few that I was hoping to start wearing over winter break but having doubts and nobody to help me and problems finding an affordable stylist I could use for a few months, I decided the hassle wasn't worth it and chickened out after spending 300$ on hairpieces, supplies and glues I experimented with. The deciding factor was that I noticed my hair was thinner around the sides than before, which caused me to freak out. I'm still not sure if this was just from the tremendous stress at the time or the genetic hair loss process.
Speaking of stress, holding down an 8hr 2-3xweek job while studying fulltime and losing hundreds of hairs daily - they were falling EVERYWHERE - pushed me over the edge into mental breakdown. I stopped showing up at my job, then fell behind in school and stopped attending classes as well, despite paying 5000$ out of my own pocket to enroll in them. I became too embarrassed to go outside, and only did while wearing a hat and mostly to go spend the rest of my savings at the liquor store everyday. I deleted all my social media, tossed my cellphone into a river and planned out my death on new year's eve 2012, wrote out my note and will and DNR form, set aside money to cover the cost of my funeral and for some medical expenses that my parents were struggling to afford for their failing health, and finished up whatever remaining business I had left. Unfortunately I waited too long, the original plan was to leave far away from home and jump at a 150ft bridge over a highway that I spent weeks deciding on and anticipating, but it snowed heavily here for days around NYE, and one cold winter's night an old friend of mine I haven't seen or talked to in weeks (since I dropped off from existence) showed up at my doorstep, he had lived on his own since the age of 17 and after getting into an altercation and having his **** robbed at a shelter he was staying in decided it was no longer safe for him there, he was due to rent his own apartment that he had the money to pay for in Febuary but had nowhere to stay until then and was spending January freezing on the streets. So I postponed my plans until I could help him out, as I was living with my parents they were supportive too. I talked to them about dying often and they knew I'd been drinking heavily and hopelessly depressed after dropping out and losing thousands of dollars so they thought this would give me time until I could be given help. I was put on anti-anxiety medication which I take occasionally (I don't like to rely on it) and received some support, but I basically gave up on my life and there are some days where the depression is so severe that I can't find energy to do anything or even rise out of bed. I'm very self conscious of my appearance now and suffer from panic attacks, though I've been buzzing my head since March to avoid the trauma of seeing hair fall everytime I touch my head. I continue to take my medication and stay alive but all my aspirations and most of my social connections are gone due to my anxiety and embarassment of how ugly hairloss made me look. My life ended in December 2012 at 21 years of age but I am stuck in some sort of limbo now until my eventual death
I know for a certainty that my life would be very different right now if it wasn't for the sudden onset of hairloss at 15 and the decisions I've made because of it. It's tough dealing with all the negativity and having noone to relate to at my age. Ultimately though, the source of most negativity, judgment and least acceptance of my hair loss came from myself - I couldn't understand or accept the changes to my self image and what I was becoming so I was the one who put down myself the most. Whatever choices you make in life or path you decide to follow, don't do what I did man
