Muffin5108
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Hey guys.
I've been having a crazy bad week. It seems like every time i think my hair is finally looking a little better and I feel like I might be able to live my life again, God thinks of some new bullcrap to chuck at me. This week i got rust in my hair, my niece and my father each pulled a fistful of my hair out, my new shampoo dried my hair out something fierce, and that's just the beginning. I hate the way this is affecting my life. I hate worrying every night how many hairs will be on my pillow in the morning, being afriad to go to the beach because of the wind, not being able to play with my neices like i want to, my girlfreind not be able to touch my head..... I look at myself in the mirror five thousand times every hour, I carry my brush with me everywhere, I'm constantly taking pictures of my head with my phone, it never goes away. It's really getting bad lately. I used to be able to smile and laugh with my girlfiend and legitimately enjoy spending time with her but now even she can't take my mind off of my hair. We are crazy in love; I never knew that this kind of love existed. But that makes me even sadder because if something as powerful as that can't take my mind off of my head, then what can? She's knows how upset I am and it makes her sad too and I know that all she wants to do is make me feel better but sometimes I'm so upset that I can't even talk with her. I sit at my computer and read or play a game or something because I know if I talk to her I might lash out and make her even more upset. But I also think that I have good reason to be upset. I'm just not happy with the way I look and I don't know how to be happy and laugh and stuff when I'm feeling so disgusted with myself. I know she understands and just wants me to be happy and would do anything to help me. But I miss the way it used to be. I want to be myself again. I feel like I'm going crazy. I think I'm just gonna shave everything off- living life this way is not worth it.
Someone please respond. I'm really on a downward spiral.
I've been having a crazy bad week. It seems like every time i think my hair is finally looking a little better and I feel like I might be able to live my life again, God thinks of some new bullcrap to chuck at me. This week i got rust in my hair, my niece and my father each pulled a fistful of my hair out, my new shampoo dried my hair out something fierce, and that's just the beginning. I hate the way this is affecting my life. I hate worrying every night how many hairs will be on my pillow in the morning, being afriad to go to the beach because of the wind, not being able to play with my neices like i want to, my girlfreind not be able to touch my head..... I look at myself in the mirror five thousand times every hour, I carry my brush with me everywhere, I'm constantly taking pictures of my head with my phone, it never goes away. It's really getting bad lately. I used to be able to smile and laugh with my girlfiend and legitimately enjoy spending time with her but now even she can't take my mind off of my hair. We are crazy in love; I never knew that this kind of love existed. But that makes me even sadder because if something as powerful as that can't take my mind off of my head, then what can? She's knows how upset I am and it makes her sad too and I know that all she wants to do is make me feel better but sometimes I'm so upset that I can't even talk with her. I sit at my computer and read or play a game or something because I know if I talk to her I might lash out and make her even more upset. But I also think that I have good reason to be upset. I'm just not happy with the way I look and I don't know how to be happy and laugh and stuff when I'm feeling so disgusted with myself. I know she understands and just wants me to be happy and would do anything to help me. But I miss the way it used to be. I want to be myself again. I feel like I'm going crazy. I think I'm just gonna shave everything off- living life this way is not worth it.
Someone please respond. I'm really on a downward spiral.