So I was talking to this girl the other day...

[daedalus]

I had just met her in a bar and things seemed to be going well. Then she says, "you know, you'd look a lot better with longer hair. you would get a lot more attention from women." I'm generally a very easy going, laid back guy, but this topic is obviously sensitive for me, so I got a little pissed off.

I was thinking in my head, "did it ever occur to you that I would love to have longer hair, but I can't because it's so damn thin that I have to buzz it down very short. I'm doing the best with what I've got."

So I told this girl I wouldn't be interested in a woman who judged me based on my hair anyway. I said it's sad that we live in such a superficial world. I then told her it's very easy to find flaws in someone's appearance, and if I really wanted to, I could point out a few of her own, but I'm above that. So I walked away, and that was that.

It's funny, because just a few years ago I had long, thick, dark hair and something like that never would have happened. Hairloss really changes things. But I'm trying not to let it affect me negatively. I'm lucky that I have a decent head and facial structure, so I can pull off the buzzed look. If some people don't like it, so be it.

 

[not me!]

So I told this girl I wouldn't be interested in a woman who judged me based on my hair anyway. I said it's sad that we live in such a superficial world. I then told her it's very easy to find flaws in someone's appearance, and if I really wanted to, I could point out a few of her own, but I'm above that. So I walked away, and that was that.

Not to be an ***, but I think you read entirely too much into that statement.

I find that it's best to laugh off comments like that and go about my day, but hey, whatever blows your hair back.

 

[daedalus]

you might be right. I probably did read too much into it, but I guess that topic just hits home.

 

[Buffboy]

I had just met her in a bar and things seemed to be going well. Then she says, "you know, you'd look a lot better with longer hair. you would get a lot more attention from women."

What the f*ck?! Did it ever occur to you that she DIDN'T notice your thinning? Isn't that what all us hairloss sufferes want - being able to hide our thinning, isn't why you're browsing these forums? Take it as a compliment. She wouldn't say that if she could see that you were thinning, dude. Don't you think it's better to get that kind of comments instead of "sh*t, dude, you're balding!!"?

I used to get those comments when I had the shaved look as well, always took it as a compliment, although after I got diagnosed with male pattern baldness I hate talking about my hair (or the lack of it), because I will always have to lie, saying: " I like the shaved look" (yeah right) and I'm afraid that suddenly they'd say : "Oh, sorry, didn't saw you were balding".

 

[daedalus]

yeah, you guys are absolutely right. I probably flew off the handle a little. I'll be the first to admit that thinking about my hairloss makes me angry, and it's very unlike me to get angry over anything.

she probably didn't notice that I'm balding, because with my hair this short, it's kind of hard to tell.

Buffboy, it's only a matter of time until I'm in the same boat as you. Then I'll also have to say something like "yeah, I just like the shaved look."

 

[Axon]

Yep, definetly got too agitated. It might have been a backhanded compliment.

 

[Buffboy]

You acted because you don't like that subject - whether it's a positive comment or not. Just like me. I just wish that people could leave my freakin' hair alone. Just shut up! I especially hate that subject when there is many people around. If someone asks: "When are you going to grow your hair out", then everyone stairs at your hair, which makes me extremely uncomfortable. It's difficult to say "I like the shaved look" if one of the other's may have noticed my thinning. But I say it anyway - still better then saying: "actually I'm balding...yeah it's right. I know I'm only 23 years old for Christ sake!" :lol:
I just say the I-like-it-short-thing and then say something completely off subject straight afterwards and then that's it.

After the blood has gone down from my head and my heart beats normally again, I always think: "Hey, I can still fool these guys". And that's the way you have to think, be happy as long as people don't think you're balding. :hairy:

Don't blame that girl. Don't say that you haven't commented other people's looks. Who knows if that girl I just said to that it was a shame you don't wear skirts (because I wanted to say something nice, without sounding totally standard-drunk guy "OOH nice tits!!! ") has some kind of complex about her legs being to fat, cellulitis etc.

Don't label people superficial just because they make a comment like that.

On a side note I'd say that the world IS a becoming increasingly more superficial - just take a look at the tv-shows now a days. Can't turn on the tv without seeing some girl getting a boob-job :x

 

[daedalus]

yeah, it's possible she could have been subtly complimenting me. who knows. just talking about my hairloss makes me upset and uncomfortable, so I don't react to it well. I'm working on it though. I guess the best response is just to laugh it off.

 

[ix]

just remember, low self esteem is a huge turn off to women....even if they like you, after a while they get old of this kind of talk. worrying changes nothing...just remember that. you can sulk but at one point you have to eventually get through it. so don't waste time. take care.

 

[smudge]

i dunno.. i don't mind telling people i'm bald, especially women. i suppose i don't want to give the wrong impression of myself. i know that if i was a girl, i'd never settle for a bald dude.

i was at a christmas party during the holidays, and some people were talking how guys go through a mid life crisis, and by a sports car. One guy was like, "Hey, I drive a Corvette" Then a women said, "I don't think I can think of anything more pathetic than a balding, over-weight, middle aged man driving a Corvette." It was really strange hearing that. i thought that was really mean, and at the same time just plain true. i thought that something has to happen to stop this hairloss because i really don't want to be that guy. Anyway, the guy got really upset and left the party.

 

[Jude]

The world is just becoming more advanced. Technology is evolving fast. Back in the day, there was no such thing as a boob-job, a face-lift, hair transplant etc. and people just excepted it. So now that these things are widely available, people seem to love mocking the whole thing by saying the likes of "The world has become so superficial". It hasn't. The world has just evolved. Since people CAN look better, they decide TO look better. I don't care what no-one says, looks are important. We need them to attract Telogen Effluvium opposite sex. So if it is possible, why can't we look as good as we possibly can?

 

[Brasileirao]

i dunno.. i don't mind telling people i'm bald, especially women. i suppose i don't want to give the wrong impression of myself. i know that if i was a girl, i'd never settle for a bald dude.

i was at a christmas party during the holidays, and some people were talking how guys go through a mid life crisis, and by a sports car. One guy was like, "Hey, I drive a Corvette" Then a women said, "I don't think I can think of anything more pathetic than a balding, over-weight, middle aged man driving a Corvette." It was really strange hearing that. i thought that was really mean, and at the same time just plain true. i thought that something has to happen to stop this hairloss because i really don't want to be that guy. Anyway, the guy got really upset and left the party.

Should of smacked the hoe...

I read some of these stories and really am at awe of how superficial people can be. GOOD GOD its crazy time!

 

[ix]

we're all like this. you know.. you wouldn't go for a fat or ugly girl.. some girls wouldn't go for a balding guy.. it's life. you can't be mad if you'd do the same thing in their place. the advice i tell people in your situation is to be friends with girls first,..they'll see you as a nice guy and you'll get them that way. if you're not, don't worry about it. someone will come along. just remember though. in a relationship, the more attention you show someone, the less they show you..and vice versa. it's all an esteem thing. and like i said before, girls don't like guys with low self esteem..espcially in the long run

 

[not me!]

The whole Corvette thing is true, though. I think that middle-aged men that buy Corvettes for the "wrong" reasons (any reason other than being a car enthusiast) are pretty sad. I also think that they are trying to compensate for something. Corvettes are nice and all, but I don't think I need one because I'm comfortable with the size of my penis.

But what do I know? I start off each day by applying makeup (Dermatch) into my hair. :lol:

 

[daedalus]

I agree, that looks definitely do matter. But that does NOT mean a balding man cannot be attractive. So what if some people look down upon it, or feel sorry for bald guys, or whatever. A few of my friends told me that my shaved head actually looks good. And that includes one of my female friends who is very attractive and brutally honest. Sure, I look much better with hair. But I'm not a freak or anything just because I shave my head.

No one can take away what you have stored inside, and that includes confidence. Some people make comments, and sometimes they annoy me and hurt, but I'm trying to have a thick skin about it. I don't want to wallow in misery because of hairloss. I'm still a reasonably attractive person, fortunately I'm tall, and I'm in decent shape because I work out. Things could be much worse.

 

[ix]

I agree, that looks definitely do matter. But that does NOT mean a balding man cannot be attractive. So what if some people look down upon it, or feel sorry for bald guys, or whatever. A few of my friends told me that my shaved head actually looks good. And that includes one of my female friends who is very attractive and brutally honest. Sure, I look much better with hair. But I'm not a freak or anything just because I shave my head.

No one can take away what you have stored inside, and that includes confidence. Some people make comments, and sometimes they annoy me and hurt, but I'm trying to have a thick skin about it. I don't want to wallow in misery because of hairloss. I'm still a reasonably attractive person, fortunately I'm tall, and I'm in decent shape because I work out. Things could be much worse.

if that's true than why are you worried? you have an esteem problem. all of us do in some way.. if we didn't we wouldn't try to battle our hairloss. we;re not happy about it. it's ok to feel this way, but DON'T show others you feel this way. unless they relate to you

 

[Axon]

If a girl says you would look great in blue, it doesn't mean the red shirt you're wearing looks bad, you know?

 

[Temples]

If a girl says you would look great in blue, it doesn't mean the red shirt you're wearing looks bad, you know?

I've always thought that these type of comments are really veiled insults. "You would look good with long hair" = "You look like an *** with short hair."

 

[Brasileirao]

Hey Temples your avartar would look much better with a blue shirt on. But thats just my opinion. :thumbs_up: :hairy:

 

[Temples]

Hey Temples your avartar would look much better with a blue shirt on. But thats just my opinion. :thumbs_up: :hairy:

Lupin does have a blue shirt on!