Struggling

[Maelstrom]

I'm not finding things easier even though, at 36, I've been 'dealing' with hair loss for 10 years now. I'm now at a Norwood 3v.

I've read on here about some of you guys having BDD and I think that I may have that to some degree. I absolutely hate the way i look to the point that it makes me feel physically sick to look in a mirror. I wasn't alway that way by any means but severe acne throughout my teens and 20's coupled with some psoriasis flaring up at 20, then hairloss at 25...it's just fuken crushed me.

My psoriasis is mild but it affects my scalp and it terrifies the sh*t out of me that I will have a bald head and red, angry scabs visible to everyone. Even if that somehow doesnt happen my skin is so goddam oily that it looks disgusting anyway.

My hair used to be the one positive thing about my appearance that I could focus on and feel a little better self-esteem wise. Losing it has been nothing short of a disaster for me, a nightmare.

I know there are guys that are Norwood 6 or 7's here and may think that I still haven't reached the worst of this. I fear they may be right.

I've had and still got anti-depressants, I've had some counseling but it hardly makes a dent. Every time I look in the mirror or catch a glimpse of a reflection somewhere...I feel like a monster. A character from the LOTR movies. Gollum.

I've been using Nizoral for years and started propecia this August. I look at some of the success stories and pray - literally pray - that I will respond just as well as some of them. I dont know what will happen if I dont. I live alone and just going to work where I have to face a lot of people is so, so hard. My only family is my elderly mother and once she is not around..dear god I just dont know. Sometimes I'm not even sure I can wait that long anyway.

I hate what I've become, hate what life I've had. And I'm sorry for the pity fest but it's how it is and it's just going to get worse.

 

[jonsie150]

i feel ya. i really do. i had severe acne through my teens until i got on accutane. i still have acne, but it only comes in little spurts. and damnit i have the leftover scars and it adds to the myriad things that feed into my fledgling insecurity.

and oh yeah, i'm thinning. ive responded pretty well to the Big 3, but i'm not sure how long i can hold it. i'm just praying that it'll manage for 5 years and by then there'll be something better.

i'm sure you already have a dermatologist. but if things arent improving, then maybe you should try out a new one? i know its a tedious process. but there was a time when i thought my acne was entirely inevitable. i'd gone through 3 dermatologists. but then i went to the 4th one and he found a combination of drugs that really helped. keep searching until you've found what helps. it's an uphill battle but don't let the fight drag you down.

as for the depression, hey i'm not a doctor by i do have a degree in psychology. from what i've studied, it seems that depression rarely stems from one's dissatisfaction with his/her appearance. a poor body image is usually a symptom of the depression. basically, what i'm saying is that maybe you should manage the depression first and maybe you'll feel better about your body after that. take on some exercise routines. do some running. take on new hobbies. meet new people. etc etc. don't think that the only way to treat your depression is to get rid of your skin problems.

just remember youre not alone.s

 

[Smooth]

I know its not related and abit off topic, but i;ve just seen that, i think it can give some of you a bit of motivation....

[youtube:2vmvfve7]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QbgOGnbxDo[/youtube:2vmvfve7]


So you say you have some acne and hairlose?..... :whistle:

 

[Hate2LoseIt]

I know its not related and abit off topic, but i;ve just seen that, i think it can give some of you a bit of motivation....

[youtube:zp036afx]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QbgOGnbxDo[/youtube:zp036afx]


So you say you have some acne and hairlose?..... :whistle:

eeeeeverytime somebody makes a thread like this, we always get one of you guys who post some sh*t like this...... God its annoying.

 

[emex4]

I know its not related and abit off topic, but i;ve just seen that, i think it can give some of you a bit of motivation....

[youtube:tqhkkhvv]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QbgOGnbxDo[/youtube:tqhkkhvv]


So you say you have some acne and hairlose?..... :whistle:

Dont be a smartass, man. Yeah obviously the guy with no legs and arms has it worse. A million other people have it worse. It doesnt change the fact that this guy is unhappy with his life and looking for help to cope. Not cynical responses.

 

[Smooth]

eeeeeverytime somebody makes a thread like this, we always get one of you guys who post some sh*t like this...... God its annoying.

Did i forced you to watch it? this video want meant for you, it was for the OP, you dont like it? then f*** off no one is forcing you to sit and read eeeeeevrytime someone is posting something like that... :jackit:

Not cynical responses.

Im glad you find it cynical :shakehead: ...

Maelstrom, i hope you feel abit better, i know it was bit far, just to get things in perspective again.

 

[emex4]

eeeeeverytime somebody makes a thread like this, we always get one of you guys who post some sh*t like this...... God its annoying.

Did i forced you to watch it? this video want meant for you, it was for the OP, you dont like it? then f*ck off no one is forcing you to sit and read eeeeeevrytime someone is posting something like that... :jackit:

Not cynical responses.

Im glad you find it cynical :shakehead: ...

Maelstrom, i hope you feel abit better, i know it was bit far, just to get things in perspective again.

A troll with broken english.

Ugghhh...... I'm not going to even bother with you.

 

[Smooth]

Im not native, and pritty sure that my broken english is better then your Arab/Hebrew/French tyvm.

 

[Maelstrom]

It's okay, I dont mind that video being posted. And you're right, that guy has it far, far worse than I could ever imagine. It doesnt help much though, knowing that other people have it far worse than me.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see what I expect to see if that makes any sense to anyone. I see something grotesque and I fear that this will only get worse as I get less and less hair to cover over any scalp psoriasis. It's bad enough to worry about going bald but to know that you might have to walk around bald and with red, angry scabs all over your scalp as well...it just gets me down y'know. Perhaps I am just weak because whatever that guy in the video has, whatever strength he has found ...I just dont have it.

I just hope propecia and maybe regaine later (if it doesnt flare up my psoriasis) will come through for me. Oh, and they hurry the hell up and get us some new treatments out there.

 

[Smooth]

If you feel THAT bad about it, then why not getting a piece? that could worked out well for you

 

[question7]

Since when is the problems of others supposed to make us feel better about our selves? I can comprehend to some degree that it would suck to have no arms and legs, but that's something I already could have figured. Sometimes, I'll be walking to a class and I'll see a guy with a messed up lag, or a woman in a wheel chair. I might feel better for the few second after but I go back to feeling bad about my hair.

I've always had a problem with the inconsistencies that people use to rationalize their situation. When your better, you can feel good because you have a one-up on someone. When your the one with the perceived to be "bad" trait "it doesn't matter what people think".

 

[FlashDance]

I don't think the point is to make you feel *better* than someone who has it worse...it's just to show that in the grand scheme of life, losing your hair isn't the end of the world

Personally, I find that sometimes I get so wrapped up in my hair and how I don't look as good as I used to and how I look much older now, etc, etc...and then I see a video like the one Smooth posted and it helps me put things in perspective.

I don't think anyone is saying that you should all of a sudden be happy since you have arms and legs, it's just something to give you some inspiration that a person dealing with such hardship has been able to pull through and be strong.

I don't think Smooth meant anything negative and am pretty surprised that so many people took it down that path. Makes me wonder what y'alls perspective on life and such stands.

Obviously, we will all still feel negatively about our self image, but the purpose of his post was to help you stand back and see that life goes on and that you can make the best of what you got.

There is no clear answer to how he found this strength to move on, and it's also evident that he went through a dark period, but that doesn't mean there isn't some benefit in learning about his struggles and how they relate to our struggles with hairloss.

 

[thetodd]

Since when is the problems of others supposed to make us feel better about our selves? I can comprehend to some degree that it would suck to have no arms and legs, but that's something I already could have figured. Sometimes, I'll be walking to a class and I'll see a guy with a messed up lag, or a woman in a wheel chair. I might feel better for the few second after but I go back to feeling bad about my hair.

I've always had a problem with the inconsistencies that people use to rationalize their situation. When your better, you can feel good because you have a one-up on someone. When your the one with the perceived to be "bad" trait "it doesn't matter what people think".

Yeah, I agree. The, "It could always be worse" scenario doesn't work for me. Well, maybe it does for about five minutes. It makes me briefly feel guilty about wishing I had my hair back. That's about it, though.