teester update

[teester]

Hi Everyone,
Here is my update. I went to see my derm yeterday. I wanted to go ahead and get blood work done. I told her that I went to see Dr. Whiting (according to her her is the absolute expert, world known) that he said I had Androgenetic Alopecia (although I haven't had a scalp biopsy or blood work done) based on history and hair pull test. (I opted not to do the other test, 1 for financial reasons and 2 treatment and results are minimal.) My derm said based on all that their was no point in doing the blood work. She told me she was sorry I had Androgenetic Alopecia and that was the end of my appointment.
Needless to say I walked out of there (with hat on head) with mixed emotions. A sense of relief that the guess work is over and sadness because in a short time I will have no hair. WOMAN ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE BALD!!! No offense to all of you who wear wigs (my Mother does and it looks like her real hair) but I feel so fake in it. I can not seem to get use to the feeling or the idea. I want to just wear bandana's for the rest of my life. My husband hates the look. I still hate that this has become a daily thought for me. Loosing my hair seems to have consumed m in all area of my life. I do not like that I have become somewhat vain. I have always been a wash and go kind of girl. Now that the focus is off my hair people will look at other area of myself and at times I am suffering panic attacks. If you can not tell from this update that I am all over the map with my thoughts, I am. I want peace with this situation. Their is so much in life to be thankful for. Life is precious. The one person I would normally talk to about this (my Mom) is loosing her hair aswell. (Although her situation is due to chemo) I want more awareness for Alopecia. All woman are beautiful hair or no hair. The models we see on tv and in magazines is just not the norm. I was thinking of starting up an annual run in my area for alopecia suffers. Oprah needs to have a show on this. Ok I will stop. My mind is racing with thoughts. Must get back to life. Thanks everyone for listening. Teester

 

[SadMom]

teetser,

I feel exactly the same as you do. I wish I could find peace, that I could just be ok with this, that I could stop obsessing and looking at everyone else's hair all the time... hoping to find someone else like me and then feeling sorry for them when I do. Or being jealous when I don't.

Some days I'm up and feel I'm doing all I can humanly do, and that's the best I can so I may as well be happy. The next day I realize I'm doing all I can and it just may be useless and then what.

I know this woman who is almost completely bald on top. She's the nicest lady. But since I've started losing my hair, I can hardly be in the same room with her because I freak out and about have a panic attack realizing that's what I'm going to look like. It's hard. It's just really hard.

So you're right. You have to focus on your blessings and take a deep breath and just move on.

 

[lentara]

Teester,
I, too, feel fake wearing a wig. I don't know why. I use Couvre to cover up the shiny bald spots and that doesn't bug me but the wigs do.
You're not vain for obsessing over this. We all do! It's such a sucky thing this whole hair loss thing sucks.

I hope we can all find some sort of peace/balance with this thing!

 

[teester]

thanks

Thanks for your responses, you understand. A few good crys and I feel a little better. Teester

 

[Rozzy252]

God, its sooo sad that we have to go through this teester....you are soooo not alone....I felt relief when my derm said it was Androgenetic Alopecia....finally!!! an answer....then the pit in my stomach consumed me and I cried.......I cried all that way home....its like someone put a stake in my self esteem...and it will do nothing but diminish from here on in. My girlfriend's sister is a hairdresser and came to town the other day. My other 4 girlfriends all went over to her place and had a hair day. They all had their hair done....and the thought of it made me sad.... the only thing they had to worry about was whether their colour would turn out or not....
Meanwhile I was at home in bed...giving my cat crap for laying on my pillow and pulling on whatever precious hair I have left. Its soooo sad that we all have to go through this....I agree with you ....this should not be happening....

 

[athleticmom]

I will never EVER forget the day I left the Derms office after he diagnosed me with "male pattern baldness." I looked at those words there on his sheet that I had to turn in to the front when I was done. I was just numb. I went back to work, didn't cry, but just sat there the rest of the afternoon. I remember sending an email to my husband listing EVERYTHING bothering me that day and the only thing he responded to was the hair thing. Later, I cried a lot.

Now I at least want to tell you guys: here it is 3 years later and I really don't look any different. Sure, I know there is less, but if my hair is cut well and styled as best I can, I don't think it is MUCH worse. I have been using minoxidil regularly since that time. I did switch formulations about a year ago and experienced a bad bout of shedding, but it slowed. On and off I have days of more or less shedding. BTW, my whole situation was triggered by my second pregnancy I am certain. In essence, my hair has been falling out since my son was born almost 8 years ago. That's a lot of hair!

The whole thing sucks. It really does. But I think that my best hope at this point is to do my best with the treatments I have and to stay as positive as possible. I tell my husband that I will likely have a wig or hair system at some point in the near future and he always tells me that my hair looks good and reassures me as best he can. That helps a lot. I know it is horribly vain, but I am really a pretty gal, and my looks have unfortunately meant far too much for me in the past.

I am rambling, I know. But it could be SO much worse. I also feel that stress, in my case, contributes...........so I am continually working on that. Is anyone else out there FREAKING about the holidays?!?!?!?

XXOO

 

[tortelilni]

Teester and others-
I am so sorry. I understand how surprising it is to think of yourself as someone NOT obsessed with your appearance, and then realize how losing a part of it would be more devastating than you might imagine.


once in college, I got a perm, and it didn't take. I went back, and she redid it, and when I saw the mirror I almost screamed. It was so awful. I pulled on my hood (even tho it was a warm spring day) and sc urried back home. I was talking with my roomates who asked what was wrong. I burst in to tears and said " I know there are people with worse problems, and its just my hair, but I can't helllllllllllllllllllp it." I was astonished at the power of that stupid event. I wish that was my hair problem now!

Our culture does judge by appearance. as if it is our fault or our choice.

I used to chuckle because my dad used a color on his scalp. Now I'm driving all over town to find some myself.