Thanksgiving (American holiday) ridicule

[epictetus]

I've become something of a shut-in lately while being unemployed, and Thanksgiving was the first time since the summer that I've been around a large gathering.

I've been buzzing my head with #2, and I no longer use concealer.

What kind of reaction do I get from my relatives, particularly the males? Ridicule, mocking. My uncle commented when I had longer hair that I had a "bald spot" and was thinning. Now I cut it close, and I look ridiculous to him. My grandfather is 80 and has a full head of hair, and made several swipes at my looks. Sometimes I swear that the only thing that'd please these people is if I killed myself. They act like I'm defying God and man by staying alive, with my disfiguring baldness.

After a bout of this treatment, it gets so much harder to get the gumption to go to job interviews, much less out in public. I can't help but feel that I've really got to have some chutzpah to show my ugly, bald head in public. "How DARE you apply for a job here, you freak? Stop wasting my time."

 

[Nuli]

Don't let it get to you, if someone pisses on you, do it right back. Whatever you do don't show weakness, make fun of them for their faults, everyone has them. Take a stab at your grandpa not being able to get his dick up or something. At least what I would do

 

[qball01]

wow....I feel bad that your family said that sh*t to you because they should have showed more class than that...but at the same time they're just busting your balls...thats what males do. Your uncle and grandfather are old fashioned, they prbly regard the buzzcut as weird because in their time it wasn't usual.

but when you say stupid sh*t like "the only thing that'd please these people is if I killed myself. They act like I'm defying God and man by staying alive, with my disfiguring baldness." NO THEY DON'T think that. They're your god-damn family! You're misconstruing what to them is harmless joking around meaning that they think you're worthless and you should be ashamed of yourself...so what they don't like your look?! My uncle is a Norwood 6 with only thin, wispy strands of hair growing out his head...do I think he looks "good?"...HELL NO, but that doesn't change how I view him as a person at all. Try to see it for what it is..they were dumb, harmless jokes on their part but the mindset you're developing is rather pathetic, and I'm being harsh to make you realize the truth.

From your perspective, when you see a man who is unattractive or balding, do you say to yourself "he has some nerve being alive and living his life...he should either retreat into a cave and be alone 24/7 or he should kill himself!" I'm hoping the answer is an emphatic NO..that you don't think like that..so why would anybody else? You're transferring your feelings about yourself onto how you think others will see you. Trust me man, I also have issues with feeling bad about finding a job and shaving my head due to hairloss, but I also know that most people don't give a f*** about how somebody else looks and I'm definitely not the only young balding guy out there so there have to be SOME of us who manage to find jobs.

I don't know what you look like, but considering the amount of ugly people I see out in public every day of my life...and I mean REALLY ugly people....you don't have that much chutzpah by comparison. I do feel bad though because in my case I received a lot of positive/neutral reactions to shaving my head which did make it easier, but it doesn't mean that the few older members of your family who made comments represent the reality.

 

[WhatYouEgg]

My grandfather is 80 and has a full head of hair, and made several swipes at my looks.

this is where you say, "well, at least my dick still works."

 

[uncomfortable man]

This could also be explained by the answer to Oknow's question "Why are people so insensitive to hairloss?" to the point of going beyond being just unsympathetic to actually being malicious. What is it about hairloss and BALDNESS in particular that provokes such petty behavior in people (even old farts)? It's not serious enough to warrant sympathy, but yet they feel comfortable insulting you about it. Maybe their assumption that they are your family entitled them to say the things they did, however insensitive. Family members or not, in my experience people in general will not hide their tainted opinions of you as a result of being bald.

 

[uncomfortable man]

They act like I'm defying God and man by staying alive, with my disfiguring baldness."

I've experienced this out in public too. People gawking at me like I'm walking around with my pants around my ankles. I think it has something to do with the notion that you should always put your best foot forward, only letting people see you at your "best". But it is not really your best but the idealized man that you are being subconsciously compared to. So people will always act shocked, reject us and treat us as if we are committing some grievous fau pau because we don't have one of the prerequisites to be considered normal by societies standard. Us baldies are cursed. We might as well wear a scarlet letter on our chests.

 

[qball01]

They act like I'm defying God and man by staying alive, with my disfiguring baldness."

I've experienced this out in public too. People gawking at me like I'm walking around with my pants around my ankles. I think it has something to do with the notion that you should always put your best foot forward, only letting people see you at your "best". But it is not really your best but the idealized man that you are being subconsciously compared to. So people will always act shocked, reject us and treat us as if we are committing some grievous fau pau because we don't have one of the prerequisites to be considered normal by societies standard. Us baldies are cursed. We might as well wear a scarlet letter on our chests.

LMAO...melodramatic much? Look, I'm not denying there may be a small percent of small minded people who will think like that, but on general....YOU hate yourself far...faaaaaar more than anybody else does because you're bald. Before this was a problem to me, I honestly did not used to even notice that some people were bald. Or if I did...its not like it was the ONLY thing I noticed about them or the first thing that I did notice....nowadays its become something I notice immediately (like a lot of bald(ing) men) and it just goes to show the power of the mind and how what we focus on becomes our reality. Man...if people out there gawk and stare at anybody who is bald then they're spending a hell of a lot of time gawking and staring at others. Stop acting like you're the only bald guy people see...if that WERE the case then maybe I'd give your statements more credit but as it stands, I honestly think that people generally see way too many bald people throughout the course of their day to be overly concerned about singling them out.

out of curiosity...where do you live? Small town?

 

[Bald Dave]

Rise above it mate. They are both old so they think they can say what they want and don't give much thought to what they're actually saying. Thats what old people are like. Did any young people in your family mention it? Probably not because they have more important things in life to talk about. Don't let it get to you and hold you head up high. Fortunately, my family never say anything negative about my hairloss and they are always bigging me up and if wasn't for them then i would find it alot more difficult to cope.

 

[Belmondo]

[...] My grandfather is 80 and has a full head of hair, and made several swipes at my looks. [...]

Compared to my mother, your grandfather is a sweetheart.

That woman made me go through hell because of my thinning hair. (even though I never made fun of her obesity)

 

[uncomfortable man]

Rhienblick03 wrote

my HOT (im not saying shes a good person - shes an evil b**ch) ex left me for a BALD (horsehoe bald) 51 yr old jobless loser with a scraggled-up pee pee. Makes me effing sick to think about it

Why would a bald hater author a thread about how bald guys can get hot chicks too when he obviously doesn't think they deserve them in the first place?

 

[toocoolforhair]

If a family member launches a malicious personal attack on me I see that as permission to return the favour. I'm sure there is something you could hit them back with. Some people enjoy throwing out insults because they know they won't come back.