Hello, ive posted here a few times before about my struggles with hair loss. As some of you it started when i was 17, and by the time i was 20 i was noticeably balding. Thin crown, flat bangs.. I remember girls starting to sort of look at my hair when i was talking to them, like if something was wrong. Now, i've never been some sort of player, ive had pretty bad social anxiety through most of my adolescence due to shitty parenting and bullying throughout middleschool. But as i turned 15 i really started getting into puberty and i got muscular and pretty good looking, my looks was a big crutch for me. It helped me through some tough times, and the muscles i put on helped me find a semi-popular group of friends so i could escape my inevitable inceldom.
After high school, as i mentioned earlier it really picked up. By the time i was 20 i was desperate, i both looked and felt like sh*t. I fell into alcoholism due to not having the knowledge about how to treat this sh*t, i remember running to the ER with the conviction that worms were attempting to crawl up my throat to suffocate me, i was in a pretty dark place. I even tried to get a hair piece, and thats when i was convinced that this just couldn't go on anymore, this couldn't be my f*****g life, this just COULDN'T BE HAPPENING.
It was a scam company, they fitted it for me, and it was way too thick, nongraded hairline, wrong colour, it just looked off and it was insanely expensive, i maxed a mastercard for it, and it looked like sh*t, just uncanny and totally like a wig, like just a step above something you would wear for a carneval or something.
So i was wearing this wig for a month, drinking almost every day, eating nothing but junkfood and playing world of warcraft, all while trying to work this horrible job in a kitchen. And when i went out into daylight i almost always wore a hat, because i knew it looked off.
So the archetypical problems of the wig came into light, obviously. The glue was lifting, my hair was growing underneath, and i was sweating. After a month i said f*** it, and buzzed my head.
And thats when i started browsing this forum, and started treating my hairloss.
Ive been through a lot of phases with my hair. I was a nonresponder to finasteride, dutasteride kind of helped, minoxidil definitely helped, but it was not before i got on 100mg of oral spironolactone i finally got the YOUTHFUL head of hair i wanted.. And god, what an impact it has made.
I've always been kind of a self-made man, i was a bullied child and i had a shitty father and an alcoholic mother, this has caused me a lot of isolation and i think this disconnect with everyone else is how i'm even able to flourish through my sh*t genetics. I know what to do in order to fix myself (facadewise), because i see everything that can be seen as bad about myself, i'm my worst critic, but yet it helps me, in a way. I know how the world works, and i know how to abuse my privilegue now that i have the strength to live and thrive. Because now i look good, and everything has changed because of it. I use MK677, melanotan 2 for a tan and yohimbine with fasted cardio to maintain my ripped physique, and i occasionally use tamoxifen to get rid of the slight gyno the spironolactone grants me. But it doesn't matter, i get my life energy from my hair. Before i wanted to die, i used to daydream about mass murder and suicide every night. But now that the hair is fixed everyone just seems to treat me better, i automatically grew into my personality, and now i find myself being boastful and confident in excess, even though it always feels like an illusion, a stage-persona, its still the old piece of sh*t that is me lurking inside this hot body, im getting all the action both the old, and the new me, who the f*** am i? I don't care, its happening around me, things are happening to me, thats positive, its real.
Im smiling a lot, i have friends, and on the halloween weekend i went out on thursday/sat/tues and pulled home a different girl each night. This would never have happened if i was ugly, i almost didn't talk to them, we just made out of the dancefloor and then i grabbed their hand to go back to my place, made some shitty smalltalk (no game) on the way home, and no probs. Ive slept with over 20 girls these past 12 months, before i started spironolactone i had slept with 5. Hair is everything, especially for me, i have one of those skulls and faces that just doesn't work. Its a big skull, it looks amazing with long bangs and semi-long hairstyle, but buzzed? Ohboy, thats a whole different monster, i look like someone who deserves to get sh*t on.
So yeah, you learn a thing or two about reality when you're bummed out, i know for a fact that this has fucked me up along with the rest of my past. But now i think that things are looking brighter, i'm actually enjoying life. And i'm now in therapy to work on my narcicissm and empathy issues, simply becoming a better person. So yeah in sum, hair loss almost killed me, finished me off in sense. But since i'm a redpilled dude i'm actually doing everything i can to improve my looks, since in the end it all starts with the body, thats what people see first. Not your soul, not your values and personality, your f*****g flesh, and it better be beautiful. We are all trapped in this hell, might as well make the best out of it. Im siding with the devil on this one. Pop them pills you moron.
After high school, as i mentioned earlier it really picked up. By the time i was 20 i was desperate, i both looked and felt like sh*t. I fell into alcoholism due to not having the knowledge about how to treat this sh*t, i remember running to the ER with the conviction that worms were attempting to crawl up my throat to suffocate me, i was in a pretty dark place. I even tried to get a hair piece, and thats when i was convinced that this just couldn't go on anymore, this couldn't be my f*****g life, this just COULDN'T BE HAPPENING.
It was a scam company, they fitted it for me, and it was way too thick, nongraded hairline, wrong colour, it just looked off and it was insanely expensive, i maxed a mastercard for it, and it looked like sh*t, just uncanny and totally like a wig, like just a step above something you would wear for a carneval or something.
So i was wearing this wig for a month, drinking almost every day, eating nothing but junkfood and playing world of warcraft, all while trying to work this horrible job in a kitchen. And when i went out into daylight i almost always wore a hat, because i knew it looked off.
So the archetypical problems of the wig came into light, obviously. The glue was lifting, my hair was growing underneath, and i was sweating. After a month i said f*** it, and buzzed my head.
And thats when i started browsing this forum, and started treating my hairloss.
Ive been through a lot of phases with my hair. I was a nonresponder to finasteride, dutasteride kind of helped, minoxidil definitely helped, but it was not before i got on 100mg of oral spironolactone i finally got the YOUTHFUL head of hair i wanted.. And god, what an impact it has made.
I've always been kind of a self-made man, i was a bullied child and i had a shitty father and an alcoholic mother, this has caused me a lot of isolation and i think this disconnect with everyone else is how i'm even able to flourish through my sh*t genetics. I know what to do in order to fix myself (facadewise), because i see everything that can be seen as bad about myself, i'm my worst critic, but yet it helps me, in a way. I know how the world works, and i know how to abuse my privilegue now that i have the strength to live and thrive. Because now i look good, and everything has changed because of it. I use MK677, melanotan 2 for a tan and yohimbine with fasted cardio to maintain my ripped physique, and i occasionally use tamoxifen to get rid of the slight gyno the spironolactone grants me. But it doesn't matter, i get my life energy from my hair. Before i wanted to die, i used to daydream about mass murder and suicide every night. But now that the hair is fixed everyone just seems to treat me better, i automatically grew into my personality, and now i find myself being boastful and confident in excess, even though it always feels like an illusion, a stage-persona, its still the old piece of sh*t that is me lurking inside this hot body, im getting all the action both the old, and the new me, who the f*** am i? I don't care, its happening around me, things are happening to me, thats positive, its real.
Im smiling a lot, i have friends, and on the halloween weekend i went out on thursday/sat/tues and pulled home a different girl each night. This would never have happened if i was ugly, i almost didn't talk to them, we just made out of the dancefloor and then i grabbed their hand to go back to my place, made some shitty smalltalk (no game) on the way home, and no probs. Ive slept with over 20 girls these past 12 months, before i started spironolactone i had slept with 5. Hair is everything, especially for me, i have one of those skulls and faces that just doesn't work. Its a big skull, it looks amazing with long bangs and semi-long hairstyle, but buzzed? Ohboy, thats a whole different monster, i look like someone who deserves to get sh*t on.
So yeah, you learn a thing or two about reality when you're bummed out, i know for a fact that this has fucked me up along with the rest of my past. But now i think that things are looking brighter, i'm actually enjoying life. And i'm now in therapy to work on my narcicissm and empathy issues, simply becoming a better person. So yeah in sum, hair loss almost killed me, finished me off in sense. But since i'm a redpilled dude i'm actually doing everything i can to improve my looks, since in the end it all starts with the body, thats what people see first. Not your soul, not your values and personality, your f*****g flesh, and it better be beautiful. We are all trapped in this hell, might as well make the best out of it. Im siding with the devil on this one. Pop them pills you moron.
finasteride is completely useless for me after 14 months
