Women don't dislike nice guys. They just give nice guys less, which nice guys interpret as women not liking them as much. Suppose a used car dealer wants $4000 for a car. A nice guy would just pay the $4000, or maybe even be extra nice and pay $5000 for it. A bad boy would negotiate the price down to $3000. The nice guy then sees that he paid $5000 for the same type of car that the bad boy just got for $3000, and would state that used car sales people love negotiators and hate easy customers. Clearly the opposite is true. Yeah, that and bad boys are more likely to say hello and bring the topic up.
As for confidence, if you do not act confident you can get the car for $3000, the used car salesman will stay firm at $4000. But if you act confident when you negotiate, they will suspect you know you can get it for $3000 and will actually walk away. That is when they decide $3000 is better than no sale. To a lesser extent, women assume if a guy is confident that he has more to offer than is seen or said at that moment, which often leads to disappointment later. Still, if you want to get anywhere with women or anyone, you have to know how to sell yourself.
You can try selling the best product for the lowest price, but if you seem very unconfident, the customer will not trust the product. Most customers buy before they know all the fact, and base their decision in part on how confident the seller seems. If you are a very smart engineer, but you act timid and unsure that anyone would want your designs, do you think anyone would buy them? What if someone knows you are super smart? Do you think they would pay you what you are worth? Most likely they will try to get you cheap and only pay you more if someone else over bids them later. It is the same with women. Funny thing is, women are great at negotiating in the dating world, but worse than men at negotiating pay in the job market. I'm not sure why the skills don't transfer over.
Negotiating is simple when you both want the same thing. If you both love playing chess, you just play it, and it feels unconditional. If you both look good you just get to it, and it feels unconditional. There actually are conditions of course. But they don't need to be stated. Now if one guys plays chess and checkers, and one guy plays chess and the others just checkers, the guy who plays both could charge both, even though he likes both, just because he can always play the other and leave one to himself if he wanted. Some women do that, by socializing extra hard to get many guys interested, and then seeing who the highest bidder is. They will also sleep with another woman's boyfriend just to lower her status and make her dump him, and then not sleep with the guy again after mission accomplished. All about monopoly and such.
As for confidence, if you do not act confident you can get the car for $3000, the used car salesman will stay firm at $4000. But if you act confident when you negotiate, they will suspect you know you can get it for $3000 and will actually walk away. That is when they decide $3000 is better than no sale. To a lesser extent, women assume if a guy is confident that he has more to offer than is seen or said at that moment, which often leads to disappointment later. Still, if you want to get anywhere with women or anyone, you have to know how to sell yourself.
You can try selling the best product for the lowest price, but if you seem very unconfident, the customer will not trust the product. Most customers buy before they know all the fact, and base their decision in part on how confident the seller seems. If you are a very smart engineer, but you act timid and unsure that anyone would want your designs, do you think anyone would buy them? What if someone knows you are super smart? Do you think they would pay you what you are worth? Most likely they will try to get you cheap and only pay you more if someone else over bids them later. It is the same with women. Funny thing is, women are great at negotiating in the dating world, but worse than men at negotiating pay in the job market. I'm not sure why the skills don't transfer over.
Negotiating is simple when you both want the same thing. If you both love playing chess, you just play it, and it feels unconditional. If you both look good you just get to it, and it feels unconditional. There actually are conditions of course. But they don't need to be stated. Now if one guys plays chess and checkers, and one guy plays chess and the others just checkers, the guy who plays both could charge both, even though he likes both, just because he can always play the other and leave one to himself if he wanted. Some women do that, by socializing extra hard to get many guys interested, and then seeing who the highest bidder is. They will also sleep with another woman's boyfriend just to lower her status and make her dump him, and then not sleep with the guy again after mission accomplished. All about monopoly and such.
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