To Aplunk1

[Solo]

Please check this link...


http://www.stanford.edu/~corelli/borderline.html


It´s about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

It has came to me when I was reading one of your posts. You´ve said "Everyone I know ends leaving me" or something like that.

You seem to me like a guy I once met. It was an ex-girlfriend cousin with many troubles in life and stormy familiar environment.

He talked as you do, about the things you do... suicide, being rejected, living pointless, unhappy...

He liked music and he was talented, for sure. He played drums in my ex-girlfriend´s group. He also sang some songs. He was making a lot of money, they were pros, but finally the group decided they couldn´t cope with that guy´s attitude. He was a walking trouble, a mess. He harmed himself and everyone surrounding him. He had that way of screwing everything up for no reason.

He ended in a psychiatric institution after a suicide attempt. He scaped from there two times. He lived in the street. He abused drugs. He tried to kill himself again, and got recluded again...

Finally, a doctor told him he had BPD, and if he would have been monitored in that condition earlier many of his troubles wouldn´t have happened. The doctor was an specialist who put some attention to the patient, because he was so problematic and unstable. No one before thought that the guy had something like that.

That diagnosis probably saved his life.

He´s now in the music bussiness as sound engineer. He is happy with life as anyone could be and you can see his lust for life just by looking at his face.


I´m telling you all of this because you remember me so much of this guy.

I appreciate you a lot, Aplunk1, and I feel for your troubles. Just want to put my 2 cents.

If you feel it resembles your case, hurry to a doctor and talk him about it.

 

[Aplunk1]

Hey thanks, Solo, for helping me. I'm going to my doctor this week because I feel that the medication that WAS helping me might be making me more depressed.

As far as having BPD, I think that I might fit into that category, but I'm scared that I'll lose so many options by taking that route-- Being in psychotherapy, having it put on my background, expenses....

Do you think a normal psychiatrist knows about this disorder, or do I need to see a specialist? My psychiatrist is not very knowledgeable at all... I really wish I had a better one that takes my insurance.

 

[Solo]

Hey, Andy

I have no clue about the USA medical insurance system, I live in Europe.

But I think even if your doctor is bad, he might know about who is good at that field. Maybe he might know what is that. For Christ shake, he has a degree, he should know something about it.

I think is worth the effort to cure any problem, specially if it throws you to suicide thoughts and negativity. Life can be full of splendor, it is worth it. I had depression, anxiety and panic attacks myself. I refused to go out for a long time. I feared to go out my room. Now everything is different, and just the simple fact of being in a bar with my friends, having a cold beer, playing cards and making some laughs is such a wonder that I´m amazed how could I´ve been that down into depression, losing my life and my self-steem.

Go for it, mate.

 

[The Gardener]

Aplunk, Borderline Personality is a VERY common condition. I believe I've heard quotes of 10% of the overall population having bouts of it at some point in their lives. In short, it's not a disastrous condition, but is one that is very easily treatable for most people by visiting a psychologist for a while. And, it is CERTAINLY not something that would be "put on your background" as you say.

 

[Solo]

Gard, you´r right.


This man I was talking about is now living as any other. His work mates don´t know he had BPD or any mental problem in the past. He still goes to the doctor, I think. I don´t know if he´s on meds actually.

In fact this guy is so OK by now it even amazes me.

He was a total mess, all day talking he was left apart by everyone, saying his life was sh*t and doing annoying things such as jumping off a wall in front of a lot of people, to break his arm and shoulder completely.

Now he´s the f*****g positive energy bottled into a person. All day talking about his groups and the next show he´ll be working on, having some drinks and being fully humorous!!

It´s such a conquer for humanity we can fix ourselves in this way, giving the brain is such a complicated machinery.

I say go for it, mate, if you feel you could have this symptoms (and I think you do, by reading your messages here) go to a doctor and get fixed.

No shame in it. It´s absolutely the way to go. I´ve seen it with my own eyes.

 

[recboi]

BPD in females is horrible. it's like they lack a conscience

Aplunk, Borderline Personality is a VERY common condition. I believe I've heard quotes of 10% of the overall population having bouts of it at some point in their lives. In short, it's not a disastrous condition, but is one that is very easily treatable for most people by visiting a psychologist for a while. And, it is CERTAINLY not something that would be "put on your background" as you say.

 

[Boru]

Oh dear, this is an insight. My former best friend, who was my tenant, might have this. She stole money from my safe, and I forgave her because she was vulnerable. Then she had a new boyfriend who she told I had mistreated her and he believed her and had a go at me. She was going around the community calling me a bald irish idiot, whilst asking me for 2 grand for fertility treatment like I was her saviour, and dealing drugs at the same time. What an absolute mug she must have thought I was. I am mentally normal, but just a bit stupid I suppose. That is the end of one beautiful relationship. Defining the psychosis of the b**ch is an interesting challenge though.
Absolutely no conscience it seems. I didn't know it was possible. The question I have now is if I should report her attempted blackmail on me, or just write a book on the sad soul?

 

[recboi]

Unfortunately my mental faults only allows for these types to be interested in me. Quality girls steer clear of me. So I don't know who to dislike more, the one who ignores me, or the one who treats me in a heartless fashion? Narcissitic Personality Disorder is even worse. That's really, really bad. Girl scared me for life..

Oh dear, this is an insight. My former best friend, who was my tenant, might have this. She stole money from my safe, and I forgave her because she was vulnerable. Then she had a new boyfriend who she told I had mistreated her and he believed her and had a go at me. She was going around the community calling me a bald irish idiot, whilst asking me for 2 grand for fertility treatment like I was her saviour, and dealing drugs at the same time. What an absolute mug she must have thought I was. I am mentally normal, but just a bit stupid I suppose. That is the end of one beautiful relationship. Defining the psychosis of the b**** is an interesting challenge though.
Absolutely no conscience it seems. I didn't know it was possible. The question I have now is if I should report her attempted blackmail on me, or just write a book on the sad soul?

 

[Aplunk1]

Not helping, guys.

 

[Solo]

Well, Boru, I think this disease is more about affections, lack of self-steem and need for people´s attention, mixed with a lot of depression.

Your ex can perfectly be the classical go-getter that uses everyone for his own benefit. Still this is not considered a disease!!

 

[Aplunk1]

Gardener, or Solo,
how would I bring this up to my doctor without sounding like a hypochondriac (sp)?

It's just that, I have a problem bringing up things when talking to my doctor. I've never let one doctor know, except my dermatologist, that I am suffering from male pattern baldness. And you guys can see that.

But as far as bringining up BPD, how would I do this?

Thanks a lot, again, guys. Tonight I'm not feeling so mentally capable of figuring that out.

 

[Boru]

Well, Boru, I think this disease is more about affections, lack of self-steem and need for people´s attention, mixed with a lot of depression.

Your ex can perfectly be the classical go-getter that uses everyone for his own benefit. Still this is not considered a disease!!

She wasn't my ex, but at times a really good, interesting friend. She was really beautiful, but has destroyed herself with drink. The compensations of what seemed like an intellectual and emotional equilibrium seemed worth the occasional disappointments. It is sad when a whole friendship turns out to be a scam, but it is better to know the truth about people. On a positive note it will make my autobiography all the more interesting and perhaps humerous. Anyhow, you guys here will also get a mention, as most of you have been really positive and supportive. Thanks.
Boru

 

[powersam]

aplunk the best thing to do if you feel that way, write a list of all your symptoms before you go to the doctor as this stops you missing things through distraction during your consultation. and then tell the doctor you'd been reading about this disorder that seemed to describe your situation (BPD). diagnosis is a very difficult part of medicine, even more so for psychiatry because often patients are reluctant to disclose all symptoms and thoughts. be open and honest and don't let yourself hide things and you'll give the doctor the best chance of helping you.

 

[The Gardener]

Gardener, or Solo,
how would I bring this up to my doctor without sounding like a hypochondriac (sp)?

My personal opinion? DON'T bring it up with your doctor.

I'm not sure what your personal health insurance arrangement is, but I strongly suggest that you park yourself in a psychologist's office.

NOT a psychiatrist, but a psychologist. Big difference.

This is not something I suggest you "take pills" for, but rather a behavioral habit, or "rut" that you need a professional to help identify the causes and triggers of. This is what psychologists do. If your current health insurance covers psychology, then it is just a matter of finding a psychologist who works with your insurance, and making an appointment.

When visiting for the first time, DON'T go in and say, "hey, I think I have BPD". They won't listen to that anyway... THEY will be the one doing the diagnosis, and they will do this by talking to you for a few weeks about how you feel, what triggers you to feel bad and what triggers you to feel good... perhaps even asking about family, friends, and past relationships to identify sources of mental injury. After a few discussions, they'll give you some sort of diagnosis, and then go about creating an action plan with you to identify the triggers, the causes, and helping you create alternate mental strategies to deal with them, so you maintain personal peace and satisfaction with life and avoid falling into another rut like you are in now.

Walk in with an open mind, and be patient. It's a WONDERFUL experience and frankly I think that ALL people should experience counseling at times in their lives. You'll be glad you did.

But the most important thing I can tell you is to DO IT and not procrastinate. Call tomorrow, and have an appointment set in the next few days.

 

[powersam]

in earlier posts you've mentioned being on anti-depressants so you already have a psychiatrist right? they would have already diagnosed whatever mental condition may have by now. or does the family doctor get to prescribe anti-depressants? i hope not

i'd agree with gardener in that what you need is a behavioural approach rather than chemical, but not on the psychologist over psychiatrist. a good psychiatrist does not rely on drugs, but uses them as a small part of a treatment plan if they are used at all. plus they have far more education than a psychologist. more expensive though probably

 

[Aplunk1]

Sometimes, I think I need psychotherapy, therapy, and a good-trusted friend as the psychologist.

But who the hell knows?

 

[powersam]

Sometimes, I think I need psychotherapy, therapy, and a good-trusted friend as the psychologist.

But who the hell knows?

i think you need to accept that whatever your situation, it is not unique. anything that has happened to you or is happening to you, anything your experiencing has been experienced before by other people many many times and documented also. so to answer the question "who the hell knows?" I have to say the professionals are the ones who know, having studied the human condition from the perspective of their science and by applying it and documenting the results. in short whether you see a psychologist or a psychiatrist, they'll have either treated people similar to yourself or read and studied about it.

 

[The Gardener]

Right on, Powersam.

Aplunk, I strongly believe that you need a behavioral approach to really get to the root of your situation. You are, from what I know of you here on HairLossTalk.com, an intelligent and very well functioning person whom I have grown to respect. If only you could parlay this into all aspects of your life, you perhaps should feel differently about yourself, and change this skewed and very unrealistic pessimistic view of yourself that you have described to us in this post. In short, you make it sound like you have problems galore, but from what I have grown to know of you, you seem like a very cool and honest person.

 

[recboi]

Be careful though, if you go to a shrink you could ruin some career choices (ie police, pilot, security clearance, etc).. I've ruined my one dream by seeing a shrink.

Sometimes, I think I need psychotherapy, therapy, and a good-trusted friend as the psychologist.

But who the hell knows?

 

[powersam]

could you go into a little more detail recboi? dont totally see how that could be possible.