What is realistic advice for a quiet, short, ugly balding male?

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Feelsbadman

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I don't want to cope anymore. I'm looking for realistic advice about what to do in regards to dating and women. I'm not an incel an don't hate women. I'm looking for advice. Things I have tried:


1) Therapy - tried this, it helped, but the therapist tells me i need to go on plenty of fish and tinder. He is in his 50's and doesn't really know about modern dating.

2) Self improvement - been doing this, for a long time now. I weight lift and do cardio. I take finasteride for my hair . I dress well. My finances are poor, but i'm improving that as well. I recently got promoted at work. But i don't understand how much more self improvement I need to do. I'm trying to grow internally as well. I'm trying to become a better adult so i can attract better people. I used to hang out and had a relationship with a bad person so i try and improve. But all of this has only resulted in a marginal increase more dates or women.

3) Being more social and confident. I'm a quiet guy, used to have really bad social anxiety but now i'm better. But i'll never be the life of the party or a 'loud' person. I can make friends but in my experience women don't like quiet guys. I know ugly or average guys with gfs but they are alll loud and social. Can't really do much more.

4) Not caring about women - most of the time i don't but having had a short relationship and sex a few years ago it's hard not to miss it is as it is a really good experience when it is good. Feel like i'm missing out.

5) Escorts and prostitutes - i do this sometimes and it's good but it always makes me feel angry and annoyed after because its not even close to the real thing.

6) Dating ugly and/or fat women - Tried this, last women i slept with took drugs and looked like a male, it was really hard for me to sleep with her . one before that ,that gave me a blow job was at least 165 pounds. I dont even watch p**rn or fap and have low standards but this was really hard for me to maintain erection.

What else can I do? genuinely open to realistic advice

thanks
 
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Feelsbadman

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justinbieberscombover said:
Seems like you already tried it all

At least you know you did your best

Since nothing worked you can now just nerdmaxx in peace

Gain weight from junk food, play video games all day, develop p**rn addiction, etc
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WAs thinking that, it doesn't make much difference. Why do I torture myself eating a perfect, diet, having abs, having near elite levels of running capacity and a good body.
Might as well just jerk off and eat McDonalds
doesn't realy make difference
may shorten my life expectancy.
 
Pacho

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if you are ugly

1. improve your looks (eating healthy, working out and surgery (hair transplant, face surgery in case of cranofacial deformities)

2. there are limitations in that regard. when you realise nothing can really save your looks listen to the man himself


5f0d8dfa377a10051a4725586bd4193f.jpg


he is perfectly describing the principle of cooperative costs, for some its just a huge waist of time to spend hours in the gym because the small profits made in that field simply dont justify the time spend on that. better use that time to improve your career and financial situation.


3. accept the cards you got dealt. if you are f*****g ugly dont hope/wish for a cinderella lifestory where everyone loves you for what you are and girls wet their pants when they see you. it just wasnt in the cards for you. some people just have the option to either be a single guy who will die alone in his apartment (without people noticing for several weeks) or a guy who pretty much has to pay a woman to be with him and start a family. its up to them then to decide between bitterness, delusion or acceptance (and putting their pride away)
 
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Feelsbadman said:
I don't want to cope anymore. I'm looking for realistic advice about what to do in regards to dating and women. I'm not an incel an don't hate women. I'm looking for advice. Things I have tried:


1) Therapy - tried this, it helped, but the therapist tells me i need to go on plenty of fish and tinder. He is in his 50's and doesn't really know about modern dating.

2) Self improvement - been doing this, for a long time now. I weight lift and do cardio. I take finasteride for my hair .
Click to expand...

You do know that there are more therapists in the world than the one you tried right? Find one that is better suited for your particular needs. Also: self-improvement is more than improving your looks.
 
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Here's what i'm trying to do as a short, balding, not so good looking male

1) Practice gratitude : i have good health and most importantly great family and friends that not the best genetics or all the money in the world can buy, and i'm extremely grateful for that


2) Get closer to God : prayers and meditation to feel at peace with myself and detach myself from the unattainable and pointless materialistic desires that cosume too much energy and effort, grow a strong spirit with unbreakable willpower


3) Become physically strong : practice a martial art while training my body and eating a good diet to boost physical and mental health. Having a good body with great health would massively help me develop confidence in myself and feel more comfortable in my body


4) Dress better : i have a good taste of fashion, but my current skinnyfat body doesn't look that good in clothes, so i'm aiming to eventually look quite good in clothes, especially after fixing my shitty posture


5) Try to look better : get better hair, better skin, low bf, trim facial hair, give up bad habits, perfect teeth, etc


Will all of this help me get a good woman? Maybe, but even if it doesn't it will help me become more confident, feel better about myself, become happier and healthier and in a much, much better place mentally. Even without women i see this as a great win for me since i don't want to revolve my entire existence on what women think about me, i want to move forward and love myself regardless of women since that's how real men should act and behave


And either ways, i'm still grateful for what i have and i hope to God that i won't lose any of it for as long as possible
 
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justinbieberscombover said:
Gain weight from junk food, play video games all day, develop p**rn addiction, etc
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Terrible advice that will lead him to even more dark pits of depression and possibly suicide - i know since i had been there for years myself. Best thing to do is to move forward whether there are women or not. The only way for men to survive is to constantly improve themselves and fight through their circumstances while trying to not revolve their entire existence around women since that's what weak men do - i also know since i'm currently a weak man myself who's trying to become stronger
 
justinbieberscombover

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Caillou said:
Terrible advice that will lead him to even more dark pits of depression and possibly suicide - i know since i had been there for years myself. Best thing to do is to move forward whether there are women or not. The only way for men to survive is to constantly improve themselves and fight through their circumstances while trying to not revolve their entire existence around women since that's what weak men do - i also know since i'm currently a weak man myself who's trying to become stronger
Click to expand...
True I was joking
 
doubleindemnity

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My advice for a male with the same description (but replace 'balding' with 'NW7 bald'). Give up and stop trying. Spend a few years doing stuff you actually enjoy. If that's video games, then go for it. There are plenty of huge RPGs for you to play. Even the people who have the best lives are unhappy nowadays... do you really think that you have a chance at happiness? I am not trying to put you down but speaking from experience. I am more bald than you but ostensibly with facial features that suit the look and this is what I'm telling you.
 
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Isaac Newton

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Pacho said:
if you are ugly

1. improve your looks (eating healthy, working out and surgery (hair transplant, face surgery in case of cranofacial deformities)

2. there are limitations in that regard. when you realise nothing can really save your looks listen to the man himself


View attachment 169884

he is perfectly describing the principle of cooperative costs, for some its just a huge waist of time to spend hours in the gym because the small profits made in that field simply dont justify the time spend on that. better use that time to improve your career and financial situation.


3. accept the cards you got dealt. if you are f*****g ugly dont hope/wish for a cinderella lifestory where everyone loves you for what you are and girls wet their pants when they see you. it just wasnt in the cards for you. some people just have the option to either be a single guy who will die alone in his apartment (without people noticing for several weeks) or a guy who pretty much has to pay a woman to be with him and start a family. its up to them then to decide between bitterness, delusion or acceptance (and putting their pride away)
Click to expand...
Lol it's the inverse. When you are attractive people only like you for your looks /how you get them off, not for who you are. It's actually a major problem with being hot. At least if you aren't hot people judge you and like you for who you are.

And any guy can find a woman it's just a matter of never giving up and lowering standards. That's the real black pill
 
doubleindemnity

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Caillou said:
Everyone does
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Ok yes but it's because of the murky definition of the word happiness. If a guy is bald and his idea of happiness is getting married young and having children then the only way that he can be happy is by changing his internal idea of happiness.

Isaac Newton said:
Lol it's the inverse. When you are attractive people only like you for your looks /how you get them off, not for who you are. It's actually a major problem with being hot. At least if you aren't hot people judge you and like you for who you are.

And any guy can find a woman it's just a matter of never giving up and lowering standards. That's the real black pill
Click to expand...
There is only so far that one can lower their standards because compatibility comes into play. A bald guy who is in shape, loves working out and sports, and otherwise successful...how does he lower his standards? Career and financial success don't matter, sure. But he is in shape and loves to work out...if he tries to date a curvy person who doesn't work out at all then the problem is that him and this person will likely be incompatible because their lifestyles and interests are so different.
 
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doubleindemnity said:
Ok yes but it's because of the murky definition of the word happiness. If a guy is bald and his idea of happiness is getting married young and having children then the only way that he can be happy is by changing his internal idea of happiness
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Fair enough, i think everyone should manage their expectations and realize their limitations so that they can become content to some extent. In my opinion, happiness is contentment with your own situation, since even if a guy owned the entire world, it would still mean nothing if he's not satisfied and content
 
doubleindemnity

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Caillou said:
Fair enough, i think everyone should manage their expectations and realize their limitations so that they can become content to some extent. In my opinion, happiness is contentment with your own situation, since even if a guy owned the entire world, it would still mean nothing if he's not satisfied and content
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Well, if everybody could do that then 'life' would be solved right? It's very difficult to do that, especially with hair loss. With hair loss and living in a very connected world like ours, you will see people who are no different to you in any way except for hair loss and have a completely different life. But it's true that there are people who live and feel happy with much worse than hair loss. It makes me think that what all the philosophy books say is true: material things and what others think of you matter only a very small amount in a person's happiness.
 
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Feelsbadman

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Some really good advice thanks guys one thing that gets me down sometimes is seeing relationships on my facebook and also my friends in real life with gfs.
How do you deal.with this? It reminds me of when i had a gf once and all the good things that come with it
 
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Feelsbadman

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Gettingfue said:
Accept CHRIST. These are the end times so it well you hate your life and this world. Live for HIM and be co heir to The Kingdom with HIM as LORD.
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I used to be very religious, for some reason I just can't seem to pray or believe like I used to
 
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