What shall I do?

[Bald Dave]

I've been with my girlfriend for 9 months now and I am thinking of ending things with her. I haven't been happy for some time now and I have starting to find her less attractive as time goes on! She is a overweight girl and in the time i've been with her she has made no effort to lose weight. She is more than happy to eat crisps and fatty foods and just be lazy. I have mentioned that she should lose weight (in a nice way) but she nearly burst into tears when i asked her! I have mentioned that i would like her to dress up for me i.e. wear a dress, high heels but she never does and continues wearing her trainers and jeans. To make matters worse she has stopped having sex and we have done it since New Years eve! She is constantly moody and miserable and when I try crack a joke she doesn't laugh and just stares into space. When we go out she hardly ever talks!

We have booked a holiday in September which i've paid £500 so far and still need to pay £575. Now do I dump her now and lose my money or do carry on seeing her for the next 4 months and dump her after the holiday? My mum tells me to dump her after the holiday because she doesn't want me to lose my money but I am so fed up with her that I willing to lose the money! What would you guys do?

 

[Smooth]

For once i wouldnt stick with someone like that for 9 months, but since you already did the dont there is no point lecturing about that so instead ill try to give this next advice, if you 100% sure you dont want to keep up with that then cut it now, i see no point going to a vacation with someone who isnt enjoyable for you, try to figure if you can get your money back somehow, because again, if you still have 500 more to pay (and you know you wont have any fun) so the equation now is something like : "either i *spend* ANOTHER 575 and wont enjoy them, or stay even with the money in my pocket" and 575 euro/US is alot of money for something that you might not enjoy (average-income speaking )

 

[HughJass]

option 1:

Dump her. Go on the holiday yourself so you can meet someone new.If you take her with you she'll just add to the expenses via huge restaurant bills minibar raids etc


option 2: If the relationships is worth salvaging you could use the holiday as leverage, tell her that unless she stops eating sh*t she ain't comin' because you aren't going to spend time with someone who won't look after themselves especially when it's affecting your relationship.

 

[s.a.f]

Dave you know you went out with this girl just to get some, now your trying (or wanting) to change her into something she does'nt want to be.
She is'nt going to change, you made the choice to be with her and TBH it does'nt sound like she's too thrilled with being with you. The fact that you have'nt had sex in 6months kind of backs that up.
I think you should end it otherwise you're just wasting time. If she really wants you she'll try to work things out but I suspect she'll just agree to go seperate ways.

 

[ali777]

To make matters worse she has stopped having sex and we have done it since New Years eve! She is constantly moody and miserable and when I try crack a joke she doesn't laugh and just stares into space. When we go out she hardly ever talks!

I think you meant "you haven't done it"... Anyway, we get the point...

It sounds like you have pretty much made up your mind, you just don't know how to deliver the bad news. My ex told me a few times to man up and just say that it's over between us. I think it's a solid advice for everyone out there, you have to be brave and deliver the bad news. Don't be scared of hurting her, she'll get over it.

If you really don't know what to do, have a chat with her. Tell her that it's not going like you were expecting, you (as in both of you) aren't happy together, etc. She might have a few things to say as well, and you can take it from there. However, something in me is saying that she probably doesn't have anything to say.

Sometimes you have to be honest with yourself and admit that it's not working. Trying to make it work will only bring you more pain and resentment towards each other. Keeping it going just for the sake of it will make it more painful and it's going to be worse in the long run. Short term pain is much better than long term misery and even bigger pain at the end of it.

PS: What's stopping you from going on holiday on your own?

 

[EasyEd]

I agree with the comments suggesting you go on holiday on your own. Or perhaps you could go with someone else? The last thing I would do is drag this thing out, though. Like ali777 said, you have to “man upâ€￾ and just do it. She’ll move on, as will you.

 

[patagonia]

I agree with ali..

my 2 cents:

man up- break up the right way.... take the lessons learned with this girl....and apply them with the next girl you date.... thats pretty much how this works.

 

[barcafan]

I think you already made up your mind mate. Why should YOU continue to be unhappy? Dump her if you're not happy with the relationship.

 

[cuebald]

yeah, dump her.
Do it today, tomorrow, but do it this week, or you'll just drag it out even further

 

[BodyDysmorphic]

i think it time to "trim the fat"
out of your life

no pun intended

cheers

 

[oni]

Dave you know you went out with this girl just to get some, now your trying (or wanting) to change her into something she does'nt want to be.
She is'nt going to change, you made the choice to be with her and TBH it does'nt sound like she's too thrilled with being with you. The fact that you have'nt had sex in 6months kind of backs that up.
I think you should end it otherwise you're just wasting time. If she really wants you she'll try to work things out but I suspect she'll just agree to go seperate ways.

:hump: bang on the button...............................just move on Dave!