I understand this feeling. I am not suicidal in the sense that I do not think about killing myself. Yet I feel what you mean; especially at my age.. life is not worth much without hair. I'm starting to get sad every time I visit social media. Fullheads everywhere getting photos with girls and their luscious locks of youth shining in the sun; then there's me. I stopped getting tagged in photos two years ago. People actively avoid getting photos with me. My Facebook is pretty much dead.. all because of hair loss.
I would do anything just for a good photo with good hair: a good memory for me for once I'm old. Yet I have none. I am incredibly sad. Looks are everything and this disease took the best of me. I see people I felt superior to some time ago: I thought they were losers with no drive nor ambition. Yet I see them now with their shiny hair in the sun and their confidence in their looks and their smiling friends and think that in the end, I am the loser, I am worth nothing because I lost my looks and no matter how hard I try at life, I will just be a balding guy who doesn't know his place.
Everyday I inspect myself in the mirror. I hate what I have become. Sometimes I fool myself that it's a good hair day! Then it takes just a sprinkle of water over my head to show a thinning that rivals a 60 years old man's hair.
I just want to feel good again. A photo and smiling faces. Just me and some friends. Maybe a photo with my girlfriend. She shows no photos of us together, except those with me with a hat on.. I dislike this balding life so much. I seek escape in studying and thinking, but I am 21 years old in the social media era, it shouldn't be like this. I understand you and this fragility. With a life like this, it would take an unknown amount of difficulties for us to end it, and I assure you we can't bear much difficulties in this dire state. I hope I will solve this in some way. I pray for treatments. I pray for the Cure, I hope some scientist will finally deliver me from this pain I never deserved.
