When Was The Last Time You Went To A Beach?

[karankaran]

I just have a simple question: Do you think you will enjoy places such as beach more if you were not bald or not balding?

The sea water making your hair wet, the wind blowing your hair - For me, hair is not just something that sits on your head - it is an integral part of how you experience life. Of course, I am not saying that if you are bald, sit at home. But having a full head of hair, IMO, changes the way you experience outdoors.

What do you guys think?

 

[Guzam]

If I wet my hair, it looks like sparse pubic hair. Really. My hair is very thin on top and the only volume it has exists while dry.
The difference between my wet and dry hair is so astounding that every time I get out of the shower I hate my self so much I would f*****g rather die than look at my scalp. I find it difficult to keep my eyes on that sight for more than one second. I feel repulsed and ashamed.
Also my smart combover routine takes at least 1 hour, and every day it's like a gamble if I look presentable or visibly balding.

As a consequence, all elements are my enemy.
I always check the weather every day to avoid getting my hair wet with rain.
I hate the wind because it messes me up so much. One wrong blow and it's over for the rest of the day.
When the sun shines on me I feel pain because I know my thinning is more noticeable under bright light. I am not at ease under the sun and I always seek shade.
Last time I was at the beach I was careful not wetting my hair. But friends noticed and asked me to wet my hair.
I did it and my brain just shut off for a bit. The shame was so overwhelming that I stopped thinking about hair, but I was conscious it was my own brain trying to protect my sanity. No one noticed what was happening inside my head. I hide my feelings very good.

I have to shower every day to try to keep the hair with a good volume (apparent). As a consequence, I don't want to do 'wild' holidays anymore: trekking, camping, anything too 'adventure' where I can't blow dry my hair, is off limit in my head. First thing I check when traveling is the availability of a blow drier. I bought a portable blow drier to bring with me, and a rightly-spaced comb.

Practically hair loss ruined my youth. My head is fucked up both inside and outside just by hair loss.

I endured a lot of psychological pain in my life, being the son of a divorced parents who used to fight a lot and blame me for their respective breakdowns. I had a semi autistic and very introverted life until 14-15. I lived a normal life from 15-18. Those were the days.
Then at 19 hair loss kicked in, took me a bit to realize. I've been broken down since then. Nothing brought me down until hair loss came. I thought my mind was invincible; that I knew what the suffering of the mind was, that nothing could bring me down after my hard infancy and early adolescence.

Three long years have almost passed.

Hair loss completely destroyed me inside, nothing like this ever happened to me.
From the outside, I look normally functioning. I have college, friends, a girlfriend, health, a family. I think I am intelligent I always want to improve myself. People tend to like me.
Yet I am completely destroyed. I live a half assed life at 21. All because of hair loss and how it brings me down, and how I get judged and shamed because of it every day. I just want to look and feel normal, not like a freak.

A cure can't come soon enough. Soon the damage will be done and my youth will be gone, with good memories left behind, yet a big 'what if'.

I hope for the cure to come, or just to treat this sh*t enough to feel even a bit normal again. Finasteride brought a small improvement. I am happy about it.

I still think that slowly losing my own image and identity at 21 is completely over the top. It's worse the anything I can ever imagine apart other disfigurements or critical health conditions. It's an illness of the body and mind.

I am f*****g wrecked. The irony: no one knows.

 

[kj6723]

For me, hair is not just something that sits on your head - it is an integral part of how you experience life.

This is very true

Now that I've gotten regrowth to the point I no longer need combovers, it's like a switch has been flipped on my desire to be social again. Last night I found myself wondering if I should text some people, see if they wanted to meet up. I even toyed with the idea of going out to the bar by myself

For the most part I was instinctively avoiding proper social contact when my hair loss was at it's worse. Now I'm fullhead status and I find myself wanting to be social again....coincidence?

I am f*****g wrecked. The irony: no one knows.

Not even your girlfriend?

Dude I still think maybe you should add dutasteride

 

[PappinAce]

@Guzam tell us more about your life from ages 15-18.

 

[Rudiger]

I know quite a few guys here work out, how does everyone feel about the sweat, sometimes hair moving around unpredictably, and combined with the harsh lighting often seen in gyms?

I'm looking at transferring gyms and I really like the new one I'm looking at, it's considerably better, if the old one is 6/10 this is like 8. Instructors and training programs feel more inclusive and interactive as well.

However- the bench presses, which I use at least twice a day, are under incredibly harsh lighting. I can't understand it, the rest of the place is neutral enough, so you don't get f*****g blinded, and then the bench presses have freaking spot lights over them. There is one in the very middle which oddly doesn't have the spotlights on it, so I could focus on that one, but it's still pretty damn harsh, not only is my cover totally blown but I can't look in the mirror as I literally look just bald (at least I think so, I couldn't bear look long enough to figure it out).

I have quite a few months until my current membership runs out, but it actually looks like baldness is making a major decision on this. On top of this it's sort of a student gym, so all the young chicks can look at my diffused under spotlight head, at least in my current gym there's barely any chicks.

 

[Dsport]

Beach is outside.

Hat

Its inside we hate

I just have a simple question: Do you think you will enjoy places such as beach more if you were not bald or not balding?

The sea water making your hair wet, the wind blowing your hair - For me, hair is not just something that sits on your head - it is an integral part of how you experience life. Of course, I am not saying that if you are bald, sit at home. But having a full head of hair, IMO, changes the way you experience outdoors.

What do you guys think?

 

[Bklyn_23]

If I wet my hair, it looks like sparse pubic hair. Really. My hair is very thin on top and the only volume it has exists while dry.
The difference between my wet and dry hair is so astounding that every time I get out of the shower I hate my self so much I would f*****g rather die than look at my scalp. I find it difficult to keep my eyes on that sight for more than one second. I feel repulsed and ashamed.
Also my smart combover routine takes at least 1 hour, and every day it's like a gamble if I look presentable or visibly balding.

As a consequence, all elements are my enemy.
I always check the weather every day to avoid getting my hair wet with rain.
I hate the wind because it messes me up so much. One wrong blow and it's over for the rest of the day.
When the sun shines on me I feel pain because I know my thinning is more noticeable under bright light. I am not at ease under the sun and I always seek shade.
Last time I was at the beach I was careful not wetting my hair. But friends noticed and asked me to wet my hair.
I did it and my brain just shut off for a bit. The shame was so overwhelming that I stopped thinking about hair, but I was conscious it was my own brain trying to protect my sanity. No one noticed what was happening inside my head. I hide my feelings very good.

I have to shower every day to try to keep the hair with a good volume (apparent). As a consequence, I don't want to do 'wild' holidays anymore: trekking, camping, anything too 'adventure' where I can't blow dry my hair, is off limit in my head. First thing I check when traveling is the availability of a blow drier. I bought a portable blow drier to bring with me, and a rightly-spaced comb.

Practically hair loss ruined my youth. My head is fucked up both inside and outside just by hair loss.

Oh wow, so much of this sounds like me lol. The wind part especially - I actually sometimes take out my phone and pretend to have a call and be looking around for someone just so I can face the direction of the wind until it calms down a bit lol. I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, but the way you worded certain things made me laugh. Like when you said you don't do anything "too adventure" haha. Me too. Question: how does your girlfriend handle you not being able to do certain activities or be spontaneous (since your combover takes an hour - my routine is 2-3 hours, btw)?

 

[uhoil]

It sucks. Every time I go to the beach with my friends for spring break I make sure I bring 3 or 4 baseball caps. I've been asked why I don't take my hat off when I go to the pool and say something like "oh! I don't want to get a face burn/dive full body"

It's stupid, but at least helps me don't feel insecure about how my hair looks while being there. Why? because my hair's so thin that some wind makes me look like that picture of Trump with his hair blowing. My scalp's all visible when it's wet as well. Embarrassing as hell....

Hang in there pal

 

[blackg]

Last time I went to the beach for a swim?? Can't remember.

I have been down to the beach at night, though.
Drinking.

 

[Guzam]

@Guzam tell us more about your life from ages 15-18.

Those were the days when I woke up from my beta/autistic slumber, thanks to my friends. I was hanging out a lot, meeting tons of people and f*****g my fair share of pussy. I never knew I was considered fairly handsome by everyone.
Girls liked me sexually and it was evident, also all the guys liked hanging out with me. Good days of wasted youth, drugs and discovery.
Days of travel (no money problems whatsoever) and big experiences. Big gigs and long nights.

Best days of my life. Already over, but I have no regret.

One of the things that I miss most is not the fairly large amount of girls who wanted to f*** me (way larger than what I thought it was at the time, too bad I discovered this thing only lately because I would have fucked even more), but having girl friends.

I haven't had girl friends ever since and I 100% blame hair loss. Girls always want good looking male friends to write to and take photos with and travel with. I miss it so much. I need female friends and I feel very incomplete without them because it's like I am missing a very important part of my social life. I hate hair loss and my new found poor looks in the hair department.
I tried to make female friends in these last years but I couldn't anymore, they either act nice but keep their distance or just stop at being acquaintances. The only non-girlfriend girls I really interact with are the female friends of my girlfriend, they are friendly and seem to like me but they don't want to be friends with me. There's one of them I really like and I would love to be her friend but it's evident she doesn't want to.
Girls genuinely wanted to hang out with me and stay with me and travel with me and looks is obviously a big part in whatever female/male relationship, be it love or friendship. Hell, they wrote to me a lot. I realize it only now. This makes me very sad and incomplete.

Sometime when I was 19 my hair loss became evident. I took me another two years to completely accept and come to terms with it. I have been depressed ever since, and my life changed to a 'has been'.

 

[PappinAce]

i can understand how you feel. i had a similar life in being borderline-autistic, but your friends stick with you because they see some your potential. i'm so grateful mine did. and then one day you start blooming. even if it was cut short, those three years cannot be taken from you.

female friends though, that's the best. i connect so much better with females, and my most authentic convos seem to come with my girl friends. its tough connecting with people when you have hair loss. things can never be the same.

 

[Guzam]

i can understand how you feel. i had a similar life in being borderline-autistic, but your friends stick with you because they see some your potential. i'm so grateful mine did. and then one day you start blooming. even if it was cut short, those three years cannot be taken from you.

female friends though, that's the best. i connect so much better with females, and my most authentic convos seem to come with my girl friends. its tough connecting with people when you have hair loss. things can never be the same.

It's very hard. Sometimes I think most people don't consider bald or balding men proper humans.
Some kind of human connection gets severed by hair loss, but the full realization comes only later.

It's like we have to fight being left out every day, because society pushes us bald men into hiding and never show up because we are defective.
What a constant struggle, how many opportunities lost because we lost our properly youthful looks. How can this be possible?

 

[Guzam]

Must have been 4 years ago. I'm not deathly pale without a reason.

I really want to know how you look like.

 

[Guzam]

There are more than enough italians around who laugh at me right now, thank you.

We share a deep issue which is premature male hair loss. You know I won't be laughing at you nor at any one else's genetic defects.

 

[Xander94]

@Guzam Atleast you lived your best years normally that counts alot my friend imagine if you were bald alone without ever holding hands with a woman. That's what Im trying to prevent here with no success finasteride is buying me some time but I need to move faster. Same for Dante and Cope who still have some hair left.

 

[PappinAce]

It's very hard. Sometimes I think most people don't consider bald or balding men proper humans.
Some kind of human connection gets severed by hair loss, but the full realization comes only later.

It's like we have to fight being left out every day, because society pushes us bald men into hiding and never show up because we are defective.
What a constant struggle, how many opportunities lost because we lost our properly youthful looks. How can this be possible?

that's so true. i felt much more connected with the world before my disfigurement. it's hard to explain, and you might have had the same experience: everything felt different, like i was more present in every single moment. the little things like having a conversation with a person, or eating food, or catching your breath after a workout. i was more *there*. when i sat on the patio of my favorite cafe and had a drink while studying. felt the wind not only on my face and hair, but through ME. inside my essence.

i don't have an essence anymore. i'm an empty shell of my former self. i do all those things i used to do only because it sustains the shell. they no longer mean anything, and there is no longer a "me" to feel them. now i'm just waiting around to die.

 

[resu]

I never liked going to the beach or pools, I think I was 15 last time I went to either.

 

[dunno]

Ah the beach... havent been since i was 15/16. probably around the time i started receding abit. f*** this life.

 

[karankaran]

Oh Man, some of the stories are really hard hitting.

When I was in college, I used to have such thick hair. My friends were like 'you will never go bald!'. Just after I graduated and turned 23, a bald spot started appearing on crown.

But in college, I used to go out a lot - parties, beaches, treks. I had a full head and I always used to take it for granted. I got my hair styled multiple times. I have curly hair but I was obsessed with straight hair. I wish I had not gotten my hair straightened twice. I wish I would have enjoyed my natural hair more than being unhappy with it.

But 23-30 -> I have been fucked. The bald spot has continued to expand at a slow but steady rate. I think it is only after I started finasteride has it stopped to expand. I think.

During winters, it gets dark quickly in Michigan. But in summer, sun rises at 6 and sets at 9. So with 15 hours of light, it becomes impossible for me to schedule my walk to and from work in dark. At 5 when I leave work, the sun is still high up in the sky. Everything looks beautiful and I enjoy the beauty around me - it is just that sometimes I do think while walking from work, I wish I had a full head of hair.

You do not appreciate what you have unless you have less of it or when it is taken away from you.

 

[DoctorHouse]

You do not appreciate what you have unless you have less of it or when it is taken away from you.

Amen to that.