Why some baldies get abuse, and why some don't

[Boondock]

One thing that's always struck me as odd is how some users here report being mocked regularly for baldness, while others say it very rarely happens. This seems to be the case even taking account of the different countries or states posters live in, and the different career paths and age groups people are in. Why should it happen?

Here's one theory for why these differences exist.

I believe that in many cases, when people rip on others for baldness they are not mocking them because they are bald. Rather, they are using the baldness as a means to mock someone who they already want to insult. In other words, they have some motivation to rip on a person, and baldness is just the weak spot they use to get at them.

Have you ever noticed how some short people get abuse, but others get very little? Or how one friend who's not the brightest spark will get ripped on about it, while another won't?

The difference, I believe, is how people perceive you in the first place. If you're a basically respectable person, good to people, successful, and fun to be around, people won't mock you for baldness because they don't give a damn about it. If you're someone who's not very likeable, or who is rude to people, or who is a failure or weak-willed or the kind of person others rip on as an 'easy target', you may get abused for baldness because people know it's a way to get at you.

In either scenario people don't really hate you for baldness. It's just that in the latter case baldness is used as an insult because the abuser knows it's gunna get to you.

So my argument would be that there are very few people who are mocked for baldness who are also:
- nice
- fun to be around
- successful
- strong-willed and able to stick up for themselves
- respected, and high in the 'pecking order' socially

The only people who'll be abused for it will be those who, for one reason or another, set themselves up to be people who'll get abused, and also happen to be bald.

The implication of this is that if you're balding and worried about being mocked, if you work hard to become a successful and respectable person, you'll be a lot less likely to get ripped on for it.

If you think of any bald but respected and successful people in your own life, I'd wager that you'll never have seem them socially mocked for their lack of hair.

Thoughts?

 

[Nashville Hairline]

Great theory, yes I totally believe it comes down to peoples' bullying nature - anyone can do it and will pick on whatever "fault" comes to mind first, be it hair, height, age, smartness, weight. I think most people have done it at some point in our lives, without even realising it at the time (worth considering next time we get a negative comment about our hair).

Why do people make comments? Too many to mention but deep down it never reflects well on whoever is making it - it s generally alwys to compensate for something we dont like ourselves i.e it deflects attention away from ourselves to point out the faults of another. "hey look at that rich celeb and how awful he looks", we all love it!

Case in point is someone like Donald Trump, I bet no-one in his immediate circle dare say how shitty he looks for fear of their position in his company but yet plenty of his lower-level empolyees probably get abuse from co-workers about their physical characteristics all the time.
Trump is probably not teh best guy to model oneself on but it does correlate with your theory about being a successful, respected person does bulletproof oneself from a level of abuse.

The question is: having become successful or rich, does the comment from Mr Full Head Of Hair still bother you?

 

[Boondock]

I'd say Trump is slightly different, since he's not only bald but tries to hide it with an awful comb over.

He's also something of a joke. Yes, he's successful. But he's also arrogant and at times petty.

If, however, you were to take Trump, shave his hair off, and take away his ego and pettiness, I doubt he'd get insulted about his lack of hair half as much.

I would say that there will nearly always be some making jokes behind baldies' backs. But these are, like you say, the kind of people who are small-minded and not taken seriously by anyone of consequence.

 

[TheGrayMan2001]

I don't think most people think badly of bald people. It's usually that, at least from what I've seen, the person has a lot of bad qualities as well:

-no confidence (easy to pick on)
-bad combover
-self conscious of the balding (goes back to #1)


or any other number of things: they're already ugly, too short, fat, or whatever

Basically everyone bald becomes identified by their baldness, at least as far as I can tell. However, if you're an exercise fanatic you might be a super muscle guy "that huge bald guy" (huge as in, he can beat your ***) or "he's that really good looking bald guy"

I've heard all of these things before.

Pretty much every person I've met that has accepted baldness is identified by their baldness, but its either a "He's a good baldie" or a "bad baldie" type. The second type usually reach a point where they don't care how they look, are ashamed of it, end up getting fat and turning into a loser.

I can tell how much of a confidence destroyer severe balding might be, if just the beginning stages of it have almost droven me nuts, but in the end that alone is no good excuse.

but, anyway, back to the original point, I kind of agree. I was trying to explain my agreement here but not sure if I got it across right.

 

[barcafan]

you mean to tell me its actually based on the individual person? whoa man...... no way dude

 

[Boondock]

you mean to tell me its actually based on the individual person? whoa man...... no way dude

That's not really what I'm saying, no. Extremely witty comment tho.

 

[Petchsky]

I think the way you respond to name calling is important as well. You need to be able to laugh it off, or at the least don't show your annoyance. If you can turn the undesirable comment upside down and make people laugh then all the better.

Which is why I had a set reply for when someone called me baldie or points out my balding, such as 'you're balding on top - (me) "Bald? Nah I was born bald, but I think it's growing back quite nicely" **said while padding down my hair with my fingers

Works well with women that one. :mrgreen:

 

[sandovalusa]

Teasing isn't always cruel. Name calling can be affectionate. Friends and family might poke fun at hair loss in a light hearted way because they think you're a secure person with a great sense of humor. They might not even know it bothers you!