Both of my Grandparents so far have mocked me for balding and it doesn't help that my Grandfather has absolutely zero hair loss. My mother also mocked me when I asked for the health insurance card so I could talk to dermatologist about my hair loss. Has anyone else experienced this from family members?
Anyone else have problems with being mocked by your family?
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macbeth81
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OP, they can't mock you if they're dead.
Just kidding, but all my grandparents and father are dead. I don't see any relatives other than my mother and brother. I have never been mocked about hair loss. That is terrible of your relatives.
Not mocking, but by mother once stated she would not have given my father a second look if he was bald. Considering I look more like my father, that translates into “you will be disgusting baldâ€. Of course baldness is from her side.
Just kidding, but all my grandparents and father are dead. I don't see any relatives other than my mother and brother. I have never been mocked about hair loss. That is terrible of your relatives.
Not mocking, but by mother once stated she would not have given my father a second look if he was bald. Considering I look more like my father, that translates into “you will be disgusting baldâ€. Of course baldness is from her side.
I really feel sorry for you guys. It sounds like you're more mature than your parents/grandparents. I've always taken everything that worries my sons seriously and would do anything for them. Your family should be trying to boost your self-esteem, not crush it with remarks like that.
DoctorHouse
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Joan, I agree with you. Take if from a person who was abusively mocked by his father and brother all the time as a kid and young adult. It messed me up big time and it still haunts me to this day. It killed my self worth and self esteem to the point I will relapse sometimes and isolate myself for "protection" from the people who I perceive as bullies or feel threatened by. I would not be surprised if a lot of forum members on here were "targets" in the past like I was. Self esteem and confidence are really tough to build up when you have so many "bullet" wounds reminding you of the past.
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Thanks Joan. :heart:
I agree 100% that family should help with boosting self-esteem, not crush it with hideous remarks. Fortunately, my family has never mocked my baldness, in fact, they've been supportive of it, and help me pay for treatments. They can see for themselves how negatively male pattern baldness affected me, and that's why I've been given the support from my family for it.
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You are a great Mom I'm sure of it (wrote it american style
). I have only ever received help from my close family/friends concerning male pattern baldness. Even offering to pay for a transplant.
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When I told my dad I was worried about my hair loss (who is an unashamed NW7) he laughed at me. He and every other family member just told me it was something that men have to deal with... me being only 16 and already a NW2 I found that hard to accept. I begged and pleaded to see a doctor for 2 years before he finally caved and took us to our GP, who is also an unashamed NW7. By then I was already a NW3 heading into NW4 territory. Him and my dad shared a laugh as I explained my concerns, then he examined my head for all of 10 seconds and told me I should take a zinc supplement and sent me on my way. No mention of finasteride, minoxidil, nothing at all.
My sister and my aunts all laughed at me as well. I mean, I was always pretty femme with me being trans and all, so me losing my hair was like the ultimate "HAHA!" moment to all those disapproving people. And then there was all the unsolicited advice on what I should do (stuff like "just shave it bro", "hit the gym bro", etc.)
The sad truth is that you're a minority in feeling that way. Most boys grow up with the notion that their problems are irrelevant and no one cares being hammered into their heads, so they internalize them.
My sister and my aunts all laughed at me as well. I mean, I was always pretty femme with me being trans and all, so me losing my hair was like the ultimate "HAHA!" moment to all those disapproving people. And then there was all the unsolicited advice on what I should do (stuff like "just shave it bro", "hit the gym bro", etc.)
The sad truth is that you're a minority in feeling that way. Most boys grow up with the notion that their problems are irrelevant and no one cares being hammered into their heads, so they internalize them.
Tell them you inherited them from up... through them if not by them. Its unbelievable blood relations can do this. Its like calling your own child ugly.
My mum once commented adversely on my baldness and got a good hearing from me and how I blame them for the genes they passed through to me, pointing out all bald people I knew from her side like one uncle and maternal grandpa. Basically turned the tables on her and she has never dared to comment again since.
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That's tough. I wish you the best of luck with your future :sun:
macbeth81
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Surprise she didn't turn that around. Mine would blame me saying it was my diet.
Hell when I was a teenager my teeth were decent but needed retainers. By teeth shifted and I brought up how she ignored the orthodontic recommendation. Instead she blames it on me playing football. I didn't play in the 1950s. I had a face mask and mouth guard not a leather cap.
I saw a post on BTT from a mother asking for advice on how to talk to her son. Her son was in ignorant bliss, and she clearly saw hair loss has a negative. Obviously starting treatment soonest is most prudent, but that is a catch-22 scenario. Her “caring†may have made him self-conscious about something that otherwise didn't bother him, however, failing to catch it early could leave him in an irreversible condition. There is fine line between caring and caring too much.
I am so sorry, DH, for the verbal abuse you suffered from your father and brother. Jealousy maybe? I mentioned before my horrible junior high school years, being teased about my old nose (amongst other things). I'll never, ever forget that low part of my life. I can't say, though, that if that hadn't happened, if my nose were beautiful, I'd be happy with my appearance. There were (and are) other things I hated. Middle age is taking a toll too. The changes I see I didn't think would happen till at least another 10 years. Losing my hair is the one thing I hadn't planned on happening to me. My older son starting to lose his hair two years ago, at 18, and that is far worse. I mentioned before that when he told us, I literally cried. He stopped Propecia this summer. He's home from college for the weekend, and last night when we were out to dinner, I suggested he at least use Rogaine. He said, "If I go bald, I'll shave it." I told him he may feel differently when he sees his scalp (right now his temples are pretty receded and he's shedding diffusely), and then there'll be no turning back, that it would be easier to try to keep what he has, or at least slow things down, than to regrow hair. He still refuses. It's his decision, of course. He'll always be beautiful to me, but, unfortunately, the world can't see him through my eyes. I've read so much on here about bald guys losing out to jobs and women to full heads, so I can't help but worry about his fate.
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Sometimes I wonder why people ever have kids.
DoctorHouse
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Joan, I am sure your son will do just fine with or without hair. He seems like he still has alot of confidence even with his current situation. He may just surprise you and prove to every rule there are exceptions. And any girl your son brings home for you to meet will want your son even more when they meet you and know he came from a wonderful, loving, and supportive mother.
Notcoolanymore
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As many have stated around here, not every woman has the same taste in men. Some are attracted to "disgusting bald".
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I think had I not made it very clear at the very start that hair loss deeply worries me, a lot of people including my family would mock me more about it. It's a no-go area.
It does help as well that I naturally don't like mocking other people's appearance, mainly over things they can't control, and I think (or hope) most people recognise that about me.
It does help as well that I naturally don't like mocking other people's appearance, mainly over things they can't control, and I think (or hope) most people recognise that about me.
Captain Hook
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Mum has been nothing but supportive when it comes to my Androgenetic Alopecia. She's very observant and has a good eye for detail and could tell my hair was 'off' but didn't know exactly what it was until both I and my dermatologist enlightened her. She also told me that she's glad I'm seeking treatment early and would even help pay for a hair transplant if needed in the future. However it did take a while to convince her that this was not caused by diet or lifestyle but simply genetic sensitivity to androgens.
My father on the other hand is very unscientific and blatantly mocked me (he's NW1 and in his 60s). He said "I don't see any problem, your hair looks fine. Even if it wasn't, do you really think some stupid cream is going to help?"
He's the type who even if I show him clinical studies he still may not fully believe what I'm saying.
My brother simply said "oh that explains why your hair looks weird now" after I had told him what was going on.
My father on the other hand is very unscientific and blatantly mocked me (he's NW1 and in his 60s). He said "I don't see any problem, your hair looks fine. Even if it wasn't, do you really think some stupid cream is going to help?"
He's the type who even if I show him clinical studies he still may not fully believe what I'm saying.
My brother simply said "oh that explains why your hair looks weird now" after I had told him what was going on.
I.D WALKER
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Doctor , if I had to put a value on your POV, I'ld have to say it's up there with Rhodium (approx.10 grand per oz.)
No kidding, Joan surely deserves Mom of the new millennium award.
Hey I'm already growing more envious of your son's future g-friends Joan.
Such a remarkable LADY. (-:
No kidding, Joan surely deserves Mom of the new millennium award.
Hey I'm already growing more envious of your son's future g-friends Joan.
Such a remarkable LADY. (-:
winnyblues
Banned
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My mum "just accept it theres nothing you can do about it.. look at your 32 year old cousin whos bald hes doing so well in life.." FML
funny she says that when she never goes out anymore because of her hairloss
lol
funny she says that when she never goes out anymore because of her hairloss
lol
My family actually deserves Family of the Year Award for tolerating my moods--but thank you, my good friend, I.D. :heart:
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I'm getting close to being there too. I'm surprised she doesn't empathize with you, since losing her own hair is affecting her so much that she's becoming a bit reclusive.