Augh...im getting ugly :\

[mr_sparkle]

Obviously it is horrible feeling that you have been rejected due to hairloss, and feeling that you cannot get 'hot' girls because of the hair loss and feel bad about it..

..BUT, at the same time, would you REALLY want to be with a girl who would seriously use hairloss against being with someone? I mean, usually you need to be attracted to someone to get a spark, and beautiful women are inevitably more attractive, but to have such a horrible and shallow attitude, to me, is incredibly unattractive and a sign of a pretty bad personality and no matter how physically attractive a girl is to look at, that sort of disgusting personality trait would overrule that instantly.

I think most of us would prefer a girl who is a 6-7 on the looks scale but a 9-10 on the personality scale than a 9-10 looks but an awful personality.

I'm not in any position to give advice out to the Norwood 6 and 7s out here, but I do think in this situation it might be better to think 'hmm, that girl is clearly a b**ch to simply reject me on account of my hairloss, I'm better off without her and she's missing out on all my other positive points' rather than feel glum about it.

Easier said than done however.

 

[WorldofWarcraft]

Dude, im afraid im going down your road soon, i never was a good looking, hair loss will make me freakish lol i dont mind tho , ill work something out. (or ill hand myself, whatever feels right at the time )

When I was younger, I was an average to slightly handsome guy - I'd say bout a 7 on a scale of 1-10. Then hairloss set in, and by the time I was 25, I was a fullblown NW5.

Since then over the years, I have had a collapsed nasal cavity caused by a deviated septum, numerous "indistrial accidents" from my former occupation tha have left me with scars on my face and head, and then my hair transplant's.

My hair transplant's were supposd to improve my appearance, but because the first one was done with a complete hack, I'm afraid my hair transplant's have only made me look "freakish" to say the least.

For me, I really am what most people would call "disfigured" looking - mainly because of my hair transplant's. It's no wonder why attractive women reject me. I never even attempt to score with them for this reason. In fact, even "average" or below average looking girls are pretty much out of my league (most of them).

Most women (and people in general) can easily see how insecure I am (or was)by my obvious looking "hair transplant head." Not only are women NOT attracted to me, some of them laugh at me and make fun of my hair transplant. I am humiliated quite often when I am in "social" situations - and I usually try to avoid them altogether lately, since my hair transplant's.

In fact, the only positive response that I get from some women is pity. Some of them (the ones that don't realize I have had hair transplant's) think that I am a cancer patient or that I have had "brain surgery" or that I have been in a serious car accident or something.

So, I know how it feels to look and feel like a "freak."

But for you Smooth, it may not be as bad as you think. You probably don't look as bad as me (and I'm a basket case as far as physical appearance). Just try to work out, and better yourself while focusing on your more positive aspects. Just realize that there are "consequences" for being bald, and you will not be able to score with some women anymore, especially the more attractive types.

And believe me, you are a long way away from "going down my road."

Most guys will never reach the point where they look as bad and hideous as me, and I doubt you are one of them.

You are going through the "male pattern baldness blues," and for the first time in your life, you are discovering some of the harsh realities of being bald.

But hang in there! It does get better. I even think that for myself, it will not always be this bad. I can get some surgery done on my nose, and get another hair transplant, with some BHT and FUE + a little hair transplant repair work, and I might wind-up looking alright (or atleast average again) someday.

I continue to work out in the gym, and I do focus on the rest of my appearance, and I strive to improve the things that I can. So all is not lost.

I live by the motto: "victory from the jaws of defeat."

So hang in there man!

I saw a girl working at a bank who was disfigured. Looked like a car accident. She had scars and you could see where they sewed her face back together. Needless to say, you could tell she had natural beauty and she was very hot.

If you got looks, you got looks. You should buzz your hair short, but not short enough to show the scarring from hair transplant and then you really should try hitting on hot women.

 

[WorldofWarcraft]

p.s. If a girl is so shallow that a little bit of hair loss has her treat you like sh*t and kick you out... you don't want to be with her. If someone only holds value to others by looks alone, they will be much more likely to cheat on you or leave you as soon as someone with better looks comes along. They will not get a good positive emotional attachment to you.

 

[first]

Dude, im afraid im going down your road soon, i never was a good looking,

Perhaps that was the problem then. You claim she was extremely hot yet you are not good looking yourself? Seems like a mismatch. I generally aim for chicks who are on the same "beauty-rating" as myself, otherwise you are just asking for trouble. If you don't like being rejected, you can aim even lower than your own rating, that way she is more likely to accept.

 

[Smooth]

Perhaps that was the problem then. You claim she was extremely hot yet you are not good looking yourself? Seems like a mismatch. I generally aim for chicks who are on the same "beauty-rating" as myself, otherwise you are just asking for trouble. If you don't like being rejected, you can aim even lower than your own rating, that way she is more likely to accept.

First i didnt say shes "extremely hot". i said attractive (the difference is that attractive in ones view could be something else for other), secondly, i used to be one of these guys who think that girls care more about character, charisma, humor and all that nonsense, that last week was a wake-up call for me, i was literally blown-away by how shallow girls are, not only i got rejected every single time i tried something (4 girls in a week - im breaking records here), but my best friends fiance and one of my best female friends -BOTH! - on different occasions explained to me that the no1 thing girls look in a guy is how he looks because they want to present him to their friends...
but you know what, i really dont care anymore, i had enough, im going back to school in a month time and i had my share, time to let go, no need to try if i cant pull, might aswell stick with the books, balding could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. (something i picked up - i do a good view of things, always try to look at the full half)

 

[Trebor]

You blew it bro. Plain and simple. It had nothing to do with your hair and everything to do with how you made her feel.

Lack of confidence is a killer in many situations in life.

You want proof? Look around you and you will see numerous hot woman with ugly or at least not so attractive men. I see it all the time.

Your story reads like this...

She saw what you looked like on Facebook. Something made her really horny and she wanted some freaky sex. She got you to come over, opened the door, offered alcohol and sat next to you on the couch...

Man I wish woman did that more often. Normally you only know they would consider f*****g you if they give you a second smile.

She waited for you to take control of the situation, make her feel even more sexy and give it to her the way she wanted it.

I swear to your god that if I had been in your shoes I would have whipped my c*** out right then and put it in her face. And I know she would have taken it. I have been there many times. She was just horny and wanted a man to give it to her.



Seriously. Wake up man and let the insecurities go! If you were painted blue and no one else was, do you think you could still get laid? I know I could.

Confidence and desperation are the worst smells you can put off.

 

[Trebor]

Also I would like to add...

You must be subconsciously constantly looking for a bride in every woman you meet. Which can make you appear too desperate. Or at least too serious.

She was just looking for some fun.

You are compounding your situation.

 

[first]

First i didnt say shes "extremely hot". i said attractive (the difference is that attractive in ones view could be something else for other), secondly, i used to be one of these guys who think that girls care more about character, charisma, humor and all that nonsense,

To cite yourself, "she was extremely attractive". So if you think she was extremely attractive and you think you arent good looking yourself, she may be out of your league. It's like if you play football and all of a sudden are thrown into a game in the champions league, of course you will get owned, so stick to your own league.

Secondly, no one goes for a one night stand for the persons humor etc, there it is all about looks and confidence. However, as she asked a random guy for a one nighter out of the blue, she hardly seems like girlfriend material.

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

By and large, and as others have said, you probably blew it to lack of confidence. She may not have realised how far your hair loss actually was, which might be a factor. However as long as your facebook photos portrayed a relative resembelance to your everyday face then it wouldnt have thrown her off.

A lot of people have been saying that girls dont go for looks etc. Complete BS. Its not like there is a different rule book for men and women. More or less, we want an attractive partner. Its no different for women. Although confidence and personality can do more for average looks. However, mentality cant nessacarily transform someone who is already less then average.

As a general rule, its the people who have positive personalities that are generally attractive. When you think of the word 'ugly', I dont think it merely counts for the physical, its also the mental. So having a postive attitude is definitly a big part of being attractive.

In my expereince so far however, Ive realised that its often a catch 22 situation. I cant be happy with how I look, because im going bald and uglier before my time. And so I will never be able to tap into a consistant confident and positive mental state to compensate.