- Reaction score
- 6,504
Credit to @shookwun for bringing this into my life, I will watch it weekly both for humour and a lesson in copeology.
Highlights (I could pretty much transcript the entire thing):
"Hello, so, your hair is thinning, what are you gonna do.
This is how I deal with hair loss and hair thinning.
I take a buzzer, and I go like this."
Even from that initial opening sentence you can just smell the autism.
"The people that are subscribed to me and watch my videos are positive people, that share advice with each other, that are out to see everybody else win, that is the community I'm starting right now.
And with this video, I wanna kind of take your brain away from your mind"
"So think about this-
You're worried about your hair loss right? Well imagine that you're just a little speck, on a rock, in
THE f*****g UNIVERSE
Does your hair loss matter then? No. Now let's look at our life -"
*moves on because point proven*
"Now how short is our lives?
IT'S PRETTY f*****g SHORT
We have like what, you think you're gonna have a hundred years but we have like what, 75 years, 85 years-
*Point incoming*
How many guys are gonna keep their hair throughout that entire duration?"
GR8 B8 M8 A BALDING 20 YEAR OLD IS THE SAME AS A BALDING 83 YEAR OLD BECAUSE OF YOUR TIME CONTINUUM LOGIC
"So why don't you take this opportunity and just go to the gym, and either get
RIPPED
or
HUGE"
"If you're gonna start buzzing your head it makes you take care of all your other stuff, my teeth-
*BIG SMILE*
I'm not fucken around with them anymore. My teeth used to be yellow I used to drink beers, I used to UGH, they're used to be f*****g gross.
BUT- now that I don't have hair, I make sure my teeth are ready to go."
What is this a f*****g slybald infomercial.
Are you suffering from gross teeth? Are you drinking beers? All in one solution- don't have hair!
Absolutely moronic. It's also god damn annoying how he keeps re-buzzing the same exact spot as he talks, I think you got it mane.
"Same with my facial hair *facial expression of re-assurance that of course his facial hair is f*****g great duh bro*
Like, use this time to showcase all your other sh*t"
What f*****g extra time do slybaldguys get that he's talking about exactly?! All the time spent buzzing the same patch of skull over and over? That doesn't make any sense.
Oh god it's only 2 minutes in and I'm struggling to "liveblog" this all now, it's going from comical to monitor smashing so quickly, it actually is that frustrating:
"Think of all the stuff that you're gonna accomplish. ......
*sh*t! MAJOR CONVINCING POINT IS INCOMING! HIS LOGIC IS GONNA SCREW US VAIN FUCKERS UP*
Now that you don't have- ... just having hair and being OK with it."
JUST. HAVING. HAIR.
AND BEING.
OK WITH IT.
And then he moves on quickly. Of course he f*****g does. Forget that ever happened for f*** sake.
"Let me put it this way, if you're watching this video, I'm gonna assume that, yuuuur, you might think differently to others.
You're worried about- you're trying to find solutions to your problems. You're probably a more creative individual than most."
This is literally how people recruit cult members. Except it's so transparent.
"Because you're not just listening to mainstream sh*t"
I LISTEN TO NIRVANA NOT SPICE GIRLS LOL
"You're finding out answers on youtube. You're listening to different people's opinions like myself."
This guy thinks that youtube is so underground and hardcore.
"Now what if, I told you that, now that you're losing your hair, you kinda have this space, for you, to kinda almost be awesome at something, because you don't wanna just be a
FAT
BALD
GUY
For the rest of your life, you could be that bad *** bald guy. That's it.*
The stupid sh*t eating grin on his face when he says bad *** bald guy, that just kills me. The naivety. f***.
"So it's like, take this
OPPORTUNITY
to not let yourself go in any way, because (OMG)
THE UNIVERSE HAS ALREADY GIVEN YOU ONE WARNING SIGN
like look, you're a man, you're not having hair anymore, it's time for you to fucken, influence people, TO SPREAD LOVE-
TO BUILD SOME sh*t
MAKE MONEY- FEED PEOPLE (at this point its becoming clear that rubbing the trimmer over the same strip 500 times is cutting into his brain)
Inspire others. Make your own videos (hahahahaha).
Now that you have this chance."
Oh jesus, I'm actually dying. Where to start.
OK "this chance"?! The "opportunity"? It's like, so you lost an arm, but now you have this wondrous opportunity to make the other arm buff as f***.
Is this guy f*****g mental? How could anyone see an oncoming negative attribute as an opportunity or wonderful chance to improve yourself? You always had that opportunity, now you can do it while looking like sh*t. Great f*****g point bravo son take a bow.
"I just get roughed up with this f*****g sh*t mane. (I have no idea what this actually means)
*CUT CLIP EDIT SO I'M ASSUMING HE'S DECIDED TO INCLUDE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL NEXT UPON REFLECTION OF HIS RETARDED BABBLE*
Man in the summer too- (he's going to start talking about the summer OK)
SO LIKE THERE'S THIS SPIRITUAL YOU RIGHT (OK he's not talking about the summer it was un-related I guess this applies to all seasons damn)
Talking all that sh*t about the speck on a rock, on the earth in the universe (the "sh*t" that he brought up in the first place)
"So what does it even matter? Just be your best blahblahblah" (being your best doesn't include finasteride, min, or hair transplants I'm guessing)
I give up, I really wanted to make a super long post dissecting absolutely everything, but it's all too much.
I'm 4 minutes in.
