Breaking down your life

[TourdeForce24]

Have you guys ever tried to break down your life along the terms of your accomplishments, social status, professional status, and relationship status?

When I examine my life closer and attempt to explain it in a concise paragraph or two, it sounds absolutely pathetic.



TourdeForce24, college graduate and current mortgage broker, works in a retail lending branch from 9:30AM in the morning to 8:00PM at night. He commutes to and from work in his late model Hyundai Elantra on a major United States highway. His drive time typically averages one hour each way, though sometimes when the weather is a little foul he can spend an hour and a half in the driver's seat. His work is tedious and stressful, and he has a steady stream of pressure being laid on him to produce sales from brainless superiors. He spends at least 65% of his day on the phone as a telemarketer, and he hates this part of his job with a passion because it makes him feel like a loser in a boiler room atmosphere. Most of his life is spent either working at his job or traveling to it. The weekends become more about recovering strength than enjoying life.


While he often has the weekends to himself, he has no significant friends or female companions with whom to spend them with. Every female he has tried to befriend or make advances towards in the past two years has rejected his efforts or led him on. He has had to acquire the services of an "escort" twice in this time frame just to stop himself from going insane. Women under the age of thirty don't even seem to know he exists. His once strong physical body is detoriating behind a gray cubicle. This former collegiate athlete now doesn't even have the time to take a twenty minute jog, and he has put on twenty pounds in the eight months he has been out of college and fully employed. Women who used to turn around and stare at him with dropped jaws as he walked by (during the ages of 16-21 and this is no exaggeration) now don't even take an initial glance ( or if they do they turn away quickly or ignore me altogether). His receded hairline of a fifty year old man doesn't help.


TourdeForce24 has experienced an aggressive case of hairloss ever since his 21st year of life; at his current pace he fully expects to be a NW5 by the age of 25 (he's 24 and currently a diffuse Norwood 3). He has no prospects in the relationship department, and he doesn't even know where to begin to get them. All of his friends have either abandoned him or moved away in the last two years, and he has never felt more lonely, bald, or self conscious before in his life.


Pretty sad when you break it down like this, isn't it? I don't even recognize myself sometimes. I went from being a fit, tan, blonde lean guy dating a beautiful exotic Hispanic girlfriend who loved to give me head practically everytime I saw her to a chubby, pale, balding, lonely, person who can't even get a girl to make out with him let alone have sex with him in the span of two years. It just doesn't seem fair. Will I ever be the person I was again? It's like I have to learn to be someone else; it's like I've been treated to someone else's sh*t life. I was supposed to be a winner. Now look at me. A loser. Yeah, I might make money, but what is it doing for me? My youth has been stripped away, and I'll never get it back. I don't even know what I like or dislike anymore. I feel mentally and physically ill, and my depression is kicking into overdrive. I don't even know what the hell I'm on this planet for? I'm useless!!!! I can't even remember the last time I was truly and utterly happy in the last 2-3 years. Sure, I make jokes and laugh at the expense of others, but am I truly happy? I'm talking perfectly content within yourself happy. The last time I felt that was when I was holding the aforementioned Spanish girl in my arms after we had just made love for two hours and she told me she couldnt picture herself with anyone else besides me ever. External forces and the jealousy of others ripped us apart forever, and I now I must deal with this forever. I am a cursed man, and I cannot shake this black cloud. I need to find the penance to release me from this burden, because I can't take it anymore. This cloud follows my social, personal, and professional life, and if I don't find a way to get rid of it I feel I may never live the life I was supposed to. If I died right now, the only people who would give a sh*t are my parents and extended families (and even the majority of the people in the extended families might not even really care- they would only pretend to). Someone release me from the shackles of sexual, physical, and mental frustration!!! Help me to find the carefree, jovial person that had a zest for life that was! Help me to live life and to find the things that excite me again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[jakeb]

Dude, I'm feeling you here.

I'm 28. When I was 25, I felt very much the same way you're feeling now (except I'd never been fit, tan, or had a hot girlfriend) I felt like I had gone directly from geeky teenager to middle age crisis without stopping for even a moment as a good looking young adult. One day when the place I was working for went out of business, I said 'f*** it', moved to New York city, started going to the gym, lost 40 lbs, made new friends, found a new job, and basically remade my life from the ground up. My life isn't perfect now, but it's 500% better than it was before. It can be done and you're at the perfect age to do it... don't wait until you have responsibilities (kids, house, etc) stopping you from making drastic changes.

The hair, I can't help you with. That's why I'm on this message board myself. I can say though... ladies don't dislike bald, they dislike a man who is falling apart. Whether or not your baldness is a visual metaphor of a man who doesn't have his sh*t together is entirely up to you. There are two bald stereotypes. You need to make sure the rest of your life resembles the hot, powerful vin diesel type and not the combover sad loser type.

 

[s.a.f]

Great post TDF24, I'm sure we can all relate to these feelings.
The thing about life is that you're brought up to have all these expectations having a great time in your early adulthood, of earning good money, meeting your true love, getting married having kids, nice house/car etc. These are the common ambitions of modern society but the plain truth is its all bu115hit. Not everyone can be succesfull, not everyone will get all these things. Sometimes you dont get what you want in life no matter how deserving you may be. I've figured out that in order for there to be winners in life there also have to be losers (or just less succesful people). I dont want to be usupportive here but sometimes you have to be realistic about what is within your reach.
You just have to make the best of whatever you've been given (difficult to accept I know).
It is possible to improve your situation as Jakeb has pointed out, but its best to think about sorting out the everyday things before you can even think about leading that life you dreamt about.
You seem to be stuck in a rut right now and that job of yours sounds like a prison sentance. Maybe its time for a career change?
As Jakeb has shown make a few positive plans and the little changes could add up to a big difference in your happiness. Hopefully in a few years you will be in a much better position.

 

[Axon]

Okay man - I'm prescribing 50ccs of Fight Club, stat!

"We have no great war...no great depression. We're the middle children of history, man."

 

[Sean68]

good post saf. :wink:

 

[Fat-Elvis]

find a new job, hit the gym and get a hair transplant.

boom...boom....boom....your life solved in one sentence. glad to help.



really though, I know what you mean. I recently turned 25 and haven't even found a real full-time job after I graduated yet, and I totally know what it feels like to be past your "college-days youth" and feel like you have no accomplishments to speak of. I just hope I don't end up in a rut, with a boring job that literally sucks the life out of me, kills my will to stay in shape, and leaves me with little energy to pursue interests and a social life in my spare time. I don't even have a social life now, and have never been in any kind of relationship or even dated, despite being a good looking guy. I just hope things pick up for me somehow.

 

[s.a.f]

There are some guys on here who really have minimal hairloss and are better than average looking, but still seem to be depressed, withdrawn and struggling with life. I dont have the answers but it seems that the problems are about more than just hair and appearance.

 

[Axon]

There are some guys on here who really have minimal hairloss and are better than average looking, but still seem to be depressed, withdrawn and struggling with life. I dont have the answers but it seems that the problems are about more than just hair and appearance.

Correct. I've got way worse hairloss then most of the current crop of posters, and I hook up at least once a month without trying. My face also looks like a coffee cake jr. from all the acne scars.

But I work out, and I consider myself engaging and funny, and I do just fine. Usually at a party I'll be doing something ridiculous, like my terrible popping and locking, and some random girl that's barely even in the conversation will bust out laughing; I know I'm hooking up that night if I play my cards right...

Anyway, what I'm saying fellas is that if you're not happy, make changes. Be positive. Appreciate what you do have in life. Everyone thinks their situation sucks. Brian Cashman, GM of the N.Y. Yankees, has said in interviews that he suffers from depression, and he's got an amazing job and is wealthy beyond most of our imagining. (You might hate the Yankees, but don't act like you wouldn't jump at a chance to GM for a team in pro sports or whatever).

And if you need proof that women aren't that worried about hair, look at Matthew McConahey. I mean, look at this fuckin' mess:

http://wwtdd.com/index.phtml?s=Matthew+ ... &go=Go&dt=

His hair looks like absolute sh*t, and he may well be clinically insane, and yet, just the other night, the girls were talking about him as if they'd c*m in their pants by his mere presence.

 

[s.a.f]

Fame/money = power
Women find this just as sexy as good looks.

(whoops I sense another topic going astray)

 

[Fat-Elvis]

And if you need proof that women aren't that worried about hair, look at Matthew McConahey. I mean, look at this fuckin' mess:

http://wwtdd.com/index.phtml?s=Matthew+ ... &go=Go&dt=

His hair looks like absolute $#iT, and he may well be clinically insane, and yet, just the other night, the girls were talking about him as if they'd c*m in their pants by his mere presence.

I'm sure the "rich hollywood star" has something to do with it. I also happen to think he's a pretty good looking guy, in a non-gay sorta way. Plus he has that slight southern accent which some people find sexy.

 

[Axon]

And if you need proof that women aren't that worried about hair, look at Matthew McConahey. I mean, look at this fuckin' mess:

http://wwtdd.com/index.phtml?s=Matthew+ ... &go=Go&dt=

His hair looks like absolute $#iT, and he may well be clinically insane, and yet, just the other night, the girls were talking about him as if they'd c*m in their pants by his mere presence.

I'm sure the "rich hollywood star" has something to do with it. I also happen to think he's a pretty good looking guy, in a non-gay sorta way. Plus he has that slight southern accent which some people find sexy.

Agreed. Didn't you get my point? Hair is not the only factor. If you're good looking (and a lot of guys here are) and have a decent physique, you'll be fine.

Of course, this could degenerate into a retarted emo flame thread.

 

[IBM]

TDF24 i'm in the same position as you.

Now i've job of my dreams, great degree, good professional future but i dont have friends (only my brother is my friend) and most important girlfriend. And it's driving me crazy. Sometimes i discharge my fury and anger on my family specially on weekends.

I cant expect anything good because i'm in the same for 10 years which is a lot for any hope.

 

[Boru]

My gradually regrowing hair (after 20 years shiny baldness), thanks in part to this forum, is helping my revolutionary campaign for truth and justice. Politicians who haven't seen me for years want to feel my fuzz. Tony Blair wants to know what I have been doing. Maybe I will direct Tony to join this forum.
Boru

 

[oni]

Take up drug running or being a button man :wink: these are always fun lol!

 

[Britannia]

Have you guys ever tried to break down your life along the terms of your accomplishments, social status, professional status, and relationship status?

When I examine my life closer and attempt to explain it in a concise paragraph or two, it sounds absolutely pathetic.



TourdeForce24, college graduate and current mortgage broker, works in a retail lending branch from 9:30AM in the morning to 8:00PM at night. He commutes to and from work in his late model Hyundai Elantra on a major United States highway. His drive time typically averages one hour each way, though sometimes when the weather is a little foul he can spend an hour and a half in the driver's seat. His work is tedious and stressful, and he has a steady stream of pressure being laid on him to produce sales from brainless superiors. He spends at least 65% of his day on the phone as a telemarketer, and he hates this part of his job with a passion because it makes him feel like a loser in a boiler room atmosphere. Most of his life is spent either working at his job or traveling to it. The weekends become more about recovering strength than enjoying life.


While he often has the weekends to himself, he has no significant friends or female companions with whom to spend them with. Every female he has tried to befriend or make advances towards in the past two years has rejected his efforts or led him on. He has had to acquire the services of an "escort" twice in this time frame just to stop himself from going insane. Women under the age of thirty don't even seem to know he exists. His once strong physical body is detoriating behind a gray cubicle. This former collegiate athlete now doesn't even have the time to take a twenty minute jog, and he has put on twenty pounds in the eight months he has been out of college and fully employed. Women who used to turn around and stare at him with dropped jaws as he walked by (during the ages of 16-21 and this is no exaggeration) now don't even take an initial glance ( or if they do they turn away quickly or ignore me altogether). His receded hairline of a fifty year old man doesn't help.


TourdeForce24 has experienced an aggressive case of hairloss ever since his 21st year of life; at his current pace he fully expects to be a NW5 by the age of 25 (he's 24 and currently a diffuse Norwood 3). He has no prospects in the relationship department, and he doesn't even know where to begin to get them. All of his friends have either abandoned him or moved away in the last two years, and he has never felt more lonely, bald, or self conscious before in his life.


Pretty sad when you break it down like this, isn't it? I don't even recognize myself sometimes. I went from being a fit, tan, blonde lean guy dating a beautiful exotic Hispanic girlfriend who loved to give me head practically everytime I saw her to a chubby, pale, balding, lonely, person who can't even get a girl to make out with him let alone have sex with him in the span of two years. It just doesn't seem fair. Will I ever be the person I was again? It's like I have to learn to be someone else; it's like I've been treated to someone else's $#iT life. I was supposed to be a winner. Now look at me. A loser. Yeah, I might make money, but what is it doing for me? My youth has been stripped away, and I'll never get it back. I don't even know what I like or dislike anymore. I feel mentally and physically ill, and my depression is kicking into overdrive. I don't even know what the hell I'm on this planet for? I'm useless!!!! I can't even remember the last time I was truly and utterly happy in the last 2-3 years. Sure, I make jokes and laugh at the expense of others, but am I truly happy? I'm talking perfectly content within yourself happy. The last time I felt that was when I was holding the aforementioned Spanish girl in my arms after we had just made love for two hours and she told me she couldnt picture herself with anyone else besides me ever. External forces and the jealousy of others ripped us apart forever, and I now I must deal with this forever. I am a cursed man, and I cannot shake this black cloud. I need to find the penance to release me from this burden, because I can't take it anymore. This cloud follows my social, personal, and professional life, and if I don't find a way to get rid of it I feel I may never live the life I was supposed to. If I died right now, the only people who would give a $#iT are my parents and extended families (and even the majority of the people in the extended families might not even really care- they would only pretend to). Someone release me from the shackles of sexual, physical, and mental frustration!!! Help me to find the carefree, jovial person that had a zest for life that was! Help me to live life and to find the things that excite me again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ill break my life down:
Britannia has an interesting and forfilling job, which he excels in. He loves being the best at his job, and this rubs off on his colleagues and patients who love being around him. Britannia is super cool and confident, never lets things get on top of him, people decend on him a respect he doesnt demand. After work, Britannia returns home to either work on his research project or signs onto MSN and chat to his friends who are now dispersed all over the globe. Britannia is also a health and fitness freak who visits the gym at least 3 times a week and as such has a body most guys would be jealous of. To accompany his great body, Britannia also likes to use a sun bed, to give his skin and complexion an awe inspiring glow. Britannia has an active social life, and after the gym visits friends across his town and takes part in one of his many interests such as shooting and motorsport. At weekends Britannia likes to go out, have a few beverages with friends and head to a night club where he will take the pick of the girls. Girls love Britannia as much as Britannia loves girls. Britannias life is on the up and up. The only pain in Britannia's life is having to look into the mirror and see a 21 year old NW3. But Britannia has learnt to accept his traits and imperfections. He then just spritz's on some American Crew Revitalise and swallows his Propecia, smiles to himself and accepts his hairloss as being part of him.

 

[Guest]

Ok, here is me:

Taugenichts´s so called "life" is one of huge failure. If you took a look at Wikipedia for the word loser there is a chance you might find a picture of him. He sometimes finds himself asking god: "Are you serious? This is my life? How cruel can you be?"

He is very ugly which has been confirmed by other children calling him "neanderthal man" or dating sites such as HotorNot. Hence he ends up as a 24 years old male virgin. Taugenichts has no friends. His weekends he spends in front of his computer researching hair loss forums or playing computer games such as Counterstrike where he usually ends up at the bottom of the list after he got owned by some 15 year olds. He is a loser both in real life and virtual life. In spite of being 24 years old Taugenichts is still living with his mother. He wouldn´t be able to take care of himself. Recently he spent several weeks in psychiatry but his life didn´t get better. How should it? Hair loss sets in, as if his life wasn´t cruel enough, yet. Once complimented for his full and thick hair he now spends hours in front of a mirror checking out his hairline and praying for some regrowth to cover up his huge forehead.
Neither does Taugenichts have concrete plans for his career. Yes, he is currently studying (business studies), but this isn´t something that he likes. He is just doing business studies because he didn´t know what else to do. As if this isn´t enough failure Taugenichts has recently gained some weight. Within the last 2 weeks he gained 7 kilogramms. His life is so boring that he doesn´t know what else to do apart from eating. It is sad. I hate myself and I want to die.

 

[JayB]

Ill break my life down:
Britannia has an interesting and forfilling job, which he excels in. He loves being the best at his job, and this rubs off on his colleagues and patients who love being around him. Britannia is super cool and confident, never lets things get on top of him, people decend on him a respect he doesnt demand. After work, Britannia returns home to either work on his research project or signs onto MSN and chat to his friends who are now dispersed all over the globe. Britannia is also a health and fitness freak who visits the gym at least 3 times a week and as such has a body most guys would be jealous of. To accompany his great body, Britannia also likes to use a sun bed, to give his skin and complexion an awe inspiring glow. Britannia has an active social life, and after the gym visits friends across his town and takes part in one of his many interests such as shooting and motorsport. At weekends Britannia likes to go out, have a few beverages with friends and head to a night club where he will take the pick of the girls. Girls love Britannia as much as Britannia loves girls. Britannias life is on the up and up. The only pain in Britannia's life is having to look into the mirror and see a 21 year old NW3. But Britannia has learnt to accept his traits and imperfections. He then just spritz's on some American Crew Revitalise and swallows his Propecia, smiles to himself and accepts his hairloss as being part of him.

That was a great post and im glad that things are going well for you, however i really would like to know where you go that you have your pick of the girls. I mean no offense by this at all, but im a great looking guy whose been approached by modeling recruits and I surely do not clean up shop when it comes to girls in any way, in fact my friends are good looking and in reality its very competitive when it comes to taking girls home... i cant see girls being able to look past a Norwood 3 at the immature age of 21 regardless of all the other awesome characteristics you display. i just dont see it happening...where are you from/where do you go that girls can truly totally bypass looks when theyre in the same age range as you. and i dont mean to be taken as offensive, its just that its the only thing you wrote that im finding hard to believe

 

[Guest]

lol, thx askas, but I simply suck. The others are just so much faster.....

 

[Britannia]

Ill break my life down:
Britannia has an interesting and forfilling job, which he excels in. He loves being the best at his job, and this rubs off on his colleagues and patients who love being around him. Britannia is super cool and confident, never lets things get on top of him, people decend on him a respect he doesnt demand. After work, Britannia returns home to either work on his research project or signs onto MSN and chat to his friends who are now dispersed all over the globe. Britannia is also a health and fitness freak who visits the gym at least 3 times a week and as such has a body most guys would be jealous of. To accompany his great body, Britannia also likes to use a sun bed, to give his skin and complexion an awe inspiring glow. Britannia has an active social life, and after the gym visits friends across his town and takes part in one of his many interests such as shooting and motorsport. At weekends Britannia likes to go out, have a few beverages with friends and head to a night club where he will take the pick of the girls. Girls love Britannia as much as Britannia loves girls. Britannias life is on the up and up. The only pain in Britannia's life is having to look into the mirror and see a 21 year old NW3. But Britannia has learnt to accept his traits and imperfections. He then just spritz's on some American Crew Revitalise and swallows his Propecia, smiles to himself and accepts his hairloss as being part of him.

That was a great post and im glad that things are going well for you, however i really would like to know where you go that you have your pick of the girls. I mean no offense by this at all, but im a great looking guy whose been approached by modeling recruits and I surely do not clean up shop when it comes to girls in any way, in fact my friends are good looking and in reality its very competitive when it comes to taking girls home... i cant see girls being able to look past a Norwood 3 at the immature age of 21 regardless of all the other awesome characteristics you display. i just dont see it happening...where are you from/where do you go that girls can truly totally bypass looks when theyre in the same age range as you. and i dont mean to be taken as offensive, its just that its the only thing you wrote that im finding hard to believe

Im from the UK mate. Firstly I am not saying that girls swoon at my feet and throw themselves at me! Im saying I gain interest from girls by having outstanding confidence and status and they instantly pick up on that. I didnt mean my post to arrogantly show of my womanising, it was mearly an attempt to show that simply changing your perception of hairloss will change the effects it has on your life.

 

[s.a.f]

Brittania, You are right that hairloss does not have to mean no luck with women. Its true that if you can exude confidence and act like you are something special some women will be convinced/impressed by this. But unfortunatly this is a belief that you have to have naturally.

Taugenichts, You are stuck in a rut and without making some descisive changes you will never escape from the situation that you have created for yourself. Sometimes life can just go wrong you make a few wrong choices, or find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time and it sets off a chain of events that makes everything go bad. I have experienced this myself. From what I can see you dont look ugly,fat or bald but I think that you have a seriously low opinion of yourself. There is no fun to be found by sitting on your own every day. Surely you know some people from college who you could hang out with. Just get out in the world and meet people and you will find new freinds and oppurtunities. They wont come and find you when you are at home on your computer. I know that you are concerned about your appearance (although I cant really see why) I feel the same way about myself. Deep down most people have insecurities (nobody's perfect) but they limit them to when they are looking in their mirror. At all other times you have to act as if you like yourself (and life) and you might just find that people will enjoy your company and will like you back.